OMG - I got deferred, now what!

Colleges and Universities A-Z Princeton University
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Six-years ago, about this time of year, my daughter was anxiously awaiting her SCEA application result. When the decision finally came down, she was deferred by her first choice school (Yale). This was exceedingly difficult for our family, as my daughter thought (or was simply delusional) that she was a shoo-in for Yale. Unfortunately, Yale Admissions didn’t think so.

And, double-unfortunately, my daughter was so confident she would be accepted to Yale that she had not submitted ANY other RD applications. Consequently, the two week period between mid-December and New Year’s became a nightmare for our family, as my daughter pumped out more than 10 applications to various colleges (including Princeton).

The not-so-good news: In the RD round, my daughter was ultimately rejected by Yale and waitlisted at Princeton. The good news: She was accepted to Harvard.

The moral of the story: No matter what happens this week, understand that your "dream school” may NOT be dreaming of you. But, another wonderful college actually might be!

Although this article is about Harvard, I imagine it’s the same at Princeton: http://www.boston.com/news/education/2015/12/11/harvard-accepts-record-low-percentage-of-early-applicants

If you receive a deferral letter this week, please understand that **IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON! ** Sure, you can try to have your guidance counselor contact Princeton Admissions and find out why you were deferred – will it do any good (most likely not). Sure, you can write an update letter to Admissions – will it do any good (most likely not). Sure, you can try to get another teacher to write you a recommendation letter — will it do any good (most likely not). Sure, you can write another essay that’s better than the ones you’ve already submitted – will it do any good (most likely not).

Everyone needs to understand A DEFERRAL IS AS GOOD AS A REJECTION and if you can wrap your head around that fact, you’ll be in a much better frame of mind to embrace the colleges that actually accept and want you!

Best of luck to everyone!

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To echo what @gibby wrote, my son applied to one Ivy League early. He was deferred and later rejected (actually, his only outright rejection). When RD came around, he received several offers. It was nice to be loved, to be wanted. A deferral, as they say, is a very kind rejection. That’s true, both the kind part, and the rejection. Exceptions exist, but who should ever plan on being a rare exception?

Refocus on you, not a school. Apply to schools that may want (value) what you bring to their university.

If it helps, and this may sound cruel, think of things this way. If you are fully qualified and have (what you may believe to be) a 20% chance of acceptance, the reality is that at this level, a school has 4 other people pretty much just like you. That’s what this means at this level. Good luck to all of you.

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For what it’s worth I went through something similar last year. Deferred from Princeton early after thinking I was a shoo in and then had to rush to write a bunch of applications and apply to schools RD.

I ended up being rejected from quite a few places I applied RD… but I was accepted to Princeton. I’m here now and it’s just as amazing as I’d hoped.

Definitely fill out other applications for RD and picture yourself at other schools, but a deferral IS NOT “as good as rejection” or “a very kind rejection.” I go to Princeton now despite being deferred EA. The odds may not be in your favor (so don’t get your hopes up), but deferred does not equal rejected. I am proof of that.

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Yes, you are proof of it – however realistically you are one of the 2.3% of deferred students who were ultimately admitted to Princeton in the RD round (or whatever Princeton’s number happens to be). I think youI need to help OTHER prospective applicants in their quest for the reality in their chances… Please answer as truthfully as you can. . .

  • Did the majority of SCEA deferred applicants last year to Princeton get admitted in the RD round?
  • Did 10% of SCEA deferred applicants to Princeton get admitted in the RD round?
  • Did 5% of SCEA deferred applicants to Princeton get admitted in the RD round?
  • Did 2.5% of SCEA deferred applicants to Princeton get admitted in the RD round?

You sir, or ma’am, are the exception to the rule – and it would be helpful in all your enthusiasm to acknowledge that fact.

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@gibby I think pushing down his point like that is uncalled for. You said a deferral is essentially a rejection - he is simply showing that it really isn’t. You have as good a shot as any applicant at that point for most schools, and in many schools, a better shot than average simply because they have already picked you as a possible acceptance or they would outright reject you. Are the odds in your favor? No. But you don’t need to shut his point down when he is living breathing proof that your blanket statement isn’t alway true

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^^^ @blountwil2: I posted the same post on the HYP threads and received this comment from a Yale alumni interviewer. Maybe it’s different at Princeton – however, I doubt it!

And my response (which I still stand by) . . .

Yes it did turn out fine, but – and I cannot stress this enough – it would also have turned out just fine if my daughter had ultimately been rejected from Harvard and had attended any other college that had accepted her, including her safety school! I strongly believe in this advice from Jeffrey Brenzel, Yale’s retired Admissions Director

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@gibby I agree with you that it turned out ok, and I agree with that same philosophy that it isn’t where you go but what you do with the resources given to you. And I agree that the odds are not in your favor and the numbers show that. So yeah, don’t get your hopes up; but you are still in the process. And it can happen. Deferrals exist for a reason, and I don’t like the idea that you might as well give up all hope for that college after one.

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I applaud your enthusiasms and optimism. However, a deferral is saying: “We like you, but have significant questions as to whether you would be appropriate for our campus and our school . . . so we’re going to re-evalute you in the light of a larger applicant pool.”

Having been through the process with both my kids – and countless of other teens – a deferral is a very nice, actually kind type of rejection. You may disagree, but when an applicant can wrap their head around that fact, they will stop sniffling and bemoaning the situation they are in – and move the *&%$ on! Which, in hindsight – and foresight – is the SMARTEST thing to do!

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How would I know any of these things? I am literally just a student lol. I have nothing to do with admissions. I’ll answer “truthfully”: I have no clue. lol.

Low percentages do not make deferral = rejection a “rule.”

Listen, I’m not trying to give anyone false hope. I am trying to “help OTHER prospective applicants in their quest for the reality in their chances” by saying that they are nonzero. That is literally all I am saying. Being reasonable means acknowledging a chance that you may get in RD. Is it small? Sure. But critically, it’s nonzero. As the guy who stood up for me (thanks lol) said, there’s a reason deferrals exist. Colleges don’t need to “kindly” reject people. It’s not like you’re breaking up with someone and trying not to hurt their feelings lol. The reason they defer instead of reject you is that there is a possibility they might want to accept you RD (which I was!). I stand by my original post: be realistic about your chances and apply to other schools RD. I agree with what you said here:

I totally think people should look into and apply to other schools, and many of the schools I looked into after being deferred SCEA I really loved and would have been happy going to! With so many great schools out there I think it’s ridiculous for students to have one “dream school.” Though I am now happy at Princeton, I believe I would have been happy many of the places I applied RD as well. All I’m saying is that this statement:

is categorically false. Because by that logic Princeton “kindly rejected” me by deferring me. Yet now I go to school here. That’s really it.

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I disagree strongly, for the simple reason that if Princeton had “significant questions” about an applicant’s appropriateness for the school they’d reject said applicant.

Princeton and its peers acknowledge that there are more qualified applicants than they can accommodate and, as such, some desirable applicants are ultimately denied. To suggest that those that make the first cut are inappropriate for the school is unnecessarily harsh and, as @eltigre69 proves, is simply wrong.

Despite this disagreement I generally concur with the advice to treat a deferral as a signal to move on to other options.

Best wishes to all through this stressful time.

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OP, your post is at odds with this anecdotal data point on Harvard’s deferred admissions, per blog at
https://www.■■■■■■■■■■■■/the-ivy-coach-blog/

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the fact is 15% got accepted, 5% rejected, and 80% deferred. Among the deferred, only <3% got accepted in RD. I agreed with gibby that A DEFERRAL IS AS GOOD AS A REJECTION. a deferral is a very nice, actually kind type of rejection. Of course, you could bet on that you would be lucky 3% in RD, all I can say is good luck.

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@OHToCollege that article casually says 10% of deferrals got later accepted. According to a closer examination of data for those who are in the class of 2019, it’s was 2.3% according to this article: http://www.boston.com/news/education/2015/12/11/harvard-accepts-record-low-percentage-of-early-applicants

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For perspective, there were 5003 early applicants. We don’t have exact figures yet, but let’s say 4000 were deferred. Now those 4000 will get thrown in the mix with 22k+ additional RD applications. Is it any wonder that it is rare for deferred applicants to be accepted RD? If you didn’t stand out amongst 5000, how do you realistically stand out amongst 26k+?

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if the acceptance rate for RD is only like 5 in total doesnt that mean your chances are almost as good as any other RD applicant?

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^^ Yes, or thereabouts.

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I think what @gibby says is by and large true - for the unhooked. I can’t prove it, but, speaking from (anecdotal) experience, I think that HYP sometimes defer applicants that they know they’re likely ultimately to admit (particularly legacies), just because the applicants aren’t absolute slam-dunks and the schools don’t want to waste an EA spot on them when they know they’re very likely to accept an RD offer.

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I applied to WashU ED and got deferred, and then was later accepted. You cannot say that “a deferral is as good as a rejection” Just like you have your stats and whatever, I among others are living and breathing proof that your blanket statement is simply not true all around. Just because you have two kids who were unable to make it through the deferral process, that does not give you the right to make false statements as you did.For anyone reading this, know that the OP is making a false statement with no logical backing. As a matter of fact, check out this link https://www.■■■■■■■■■■■■/the-ivy-coach-blog/ It has evidence to contradict the OP via actual data points. Do not let deferrals discourage you, THEY ARE NOT “essentially rejections.” Hold your head up high, and be hopeful for the future!

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Gibby can speak for himself but here are two important bits of context to put the original message in context:

  1. The post was written in mid December when kids were getting news of early decision and was meant to help those devastated by news. I took it as fatherly advice to help kids manage their disappointment and move on.
  2. He was talking about SCEA schools like HYP (he never explicitly specified, but this seems clear from context) whose rates of acceptance after deferral are indeed quite low and probably far lower than Wash U. Remember, these are among the most selective schools on the planet. Don't take it as a blanket statement about all schools. I'm sure rates are more hopeful elsewhere.

Nobody should read the message as an attempt to crush hope or deny the accomplishments of people like you.
Of course, there are exceptions like you and the student who got into Princeton—you both deserve belated congrats and we are delighted for you. But people should understand cases like yours are a small minority, at least at the SCEA type schools. All the more reason why you both should be thrilled.

I think his advice remains sound. Better to prepare kids for the worst and have 5% of deferrals pleasantly surprised than to raise false hope for the 95% who ultimately get rejected. I think Stanford is ultimately more humane by rejecting a large portion of the SCEA kids rather than deferring the majority who never realistically have a chance.

Anyway, this post has come back like vampire from the dead. Gibby can do the honors of finishing it off by driving a stake through its heart.