On The Dream, Working Hard, and Rejection

Colleges and Universities A-Z Massachusetts Institute of Technology
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<p>This exposition serves two purposes:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>This is the type of thread I wish I had when I stumbled upon CC. I have spent an enormous amount of time here and the resources within helped me prepare immensely. However, there's a common elitist, hyper-competitive, validation-seeking, generally mean attitude that ends up adding a lot of noise. This is an honest story, full of failure, emotion, and humility. Here it is; here you go.</p></li>
<li><p>This is an act of closure. There's no longer a reason to fear posting my details in case of MIT making a connection. I will never meet the bloggers I've come to know; I will never see the admissions team again; I will likely never visit campus again. MIT was my only purpose for CC - and so - this is my goodbye to Mollie, Chris, and all of you.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>As with any good story, there is some introduction: I grew up in a loving family, not rich, not poor. I go to a loveable small, rural, public school with a small handful of AP courses.</p>

<p>I didn't walk out of the womb with perfect test scores, and I'd never originally heard of Olympiads, AMC tests, Intel Finalists, or even the acronym "STEM". Nevertheless, I was raised of a set of rural values I find ideal: you work hard, you succeed, you do the right thing, you stay loyal to family and friends, you have fun, and at some point you get into an automobile accident with a deer as a rite of passage.</p>

<p>I received extreme praise for my academic appetite and aptitude at such a young age. I build robots out of cardboard and filled composition notebooks with thousands of ideas and designs. At some point in elementary school, I decided what my dream would be: attend MIT! I slipped it into as many "What Do You Want To When You Grow Up" projects as I could on my way up the scholarly ladder.</p>

<p>Once I hit high school, as expected of a proactive student, I took the ACT and starting looking deeper into the realities of college. I received a 28 composite, and consequently, a lot of dislike from my peers. I visited the MIT Admissions blog and eventually (over the course of a couple years) read every post. Somewhere along the line, I stumbled upon College Confidential - a website that introduced me to a simultaneously enlightening and bitter world to which I was completely uninitiated. </p>

<p>It was obvious that despite my original confidence, I was way out of my league. Dismay me it did not, however. I read up on my CC - I wanted to know what it would take to accomplish my dream and best communicate myself to MIT.</p>

<p>So, I worked hard. I loaded my schedule with basically all my high school had to offer. I branched out and took experimental online courses. I didn't make the mistake of drafting a laundry list of extracurricular activities - I found calling in the band program (5 different ensembles, generally leaving me with at least 2 hours afterschool each day) and a student-led volunteering organization. I practiced hard, found meaning in the music and meaning in helping others. I became a leader in both areas, and (although I didn't really realize it) inspired and helped the lives of underclassmen. </p>

<p>I recalibrated my study habits and paradigms on learning. In two more administrations, I raised my ACT six points to a 34, achieved low 700's on the SATIIs, created a Computer Science course, and did everything I could to best prepare myself. </p>

<p>For my birthday, we took our first vacation in years to Cambridge, MA, and my greatest hopes were validated. MIT touched a certain part of me, beaten away by conformity in late elementary school years. It was actually okay to love science, love technology, want to discover and create - it was the culture. I hit it off with a member of the admissions committee and when we went on our campus tour, I found myself to be the only one answering the guide's trivia questions correctly (with new found enthusiasm).</p>

<p>My senior year has flown by, and has been consumed by the final steps of accomplishing my dream. I've developed a new reputation as the "MIT kid" of our high school, and our guidance department has gone to unbelievable lengths to help me achieve my dream - and I will never be able to thank them and the rest of my educators for all they've done to support me.</p>

<p>Just like CC taught me what I needed to do, it also taught me about the harsh reality and single-digit acceptance rate I was getting into. However, tonight, I felt more confident than ever. My essays expressed the most deepest parts of me, with painstakingly proportionate amounts of creativity, quirkiness, and humility. I had come a long way with my test scores and ultimately as a person.</p>

<p>Thus, I couldn't help - despite all of the facts and percentages - that unexplainable, unbeatable, unparalleled surge of raw hope before hitting that login button - the same surge I'd felt immediately before being deferred in December.</p>

<p>"We are very sorry ... cannot offer you admission."</p>

<p>And just like that, it's over. The road is over, and my dream has not come true. All of the time and emotions invested are null, it's all over. There is no longer validity in visions of being an MIT Admissions blogger, living in Random, eating the monsterous Nutella pastry thing available at a restaurant near campus, riding my first sailboat, and earning my pirate certification - in fact, I will likely never hear about any of these things again.</p>

<p>I'm not necessarily angry, depressed, or sad. For lack of a better term, I just feel broken. Despite everything, I really felt confident I identified with MIT, and I did so much to accomplish my dream. For me, there is no other Ivy league prospect or anything of the like waiting for me. I set my sights, MIT became an integral part of my life, and now it's over. The "work hard and you'll accomplish your goals" addendum that has remained tried and true through my life is now voided.</p>

<p>Maybe I didn't work hard enough. Maybe instead of playing those video games in my downtime, I should have worked to make those A-'s into A+'s. Maybe I should have been even more proactive in my college search so in turn, I could stumble upon CC and get on board with national awards and the meaning of "research" earlier [in time].</p>

<p>Or maybe I did everything right; staying true to my values and having some fun while avoiding becoming an over-worked product of test scores and award lists.</p>

<p>I don't really know.</p>

<p>Gosh, I don't think it's settled in yet; although, I think this post was a good idea. It's just so hard to - even know - begin to break down the habit of picturing myself at MIT. </p>

<p>I will still go to a great university, and I will love it. I will still receive a gracious amount of opportunities, and I will go on to do great things. I am not useless, and if anything, this journey to the "top" has produced qualities and strengths I would have otherwise never obtained.</p>

<p>Yet, there is still pain. All of those who supported me will frown and go on. Those who told me I wouldn't make it will receive their satisfaction. Already, I've received condolences from those close to me, and I'll receive even more tomorrow when I will be repeatedly obligated to break the news to numerous classmates - but no one seems to be able to sympathize what I'm really feeling. </p>

<p>My family and friends treat it as a bump along the journey, and in essence, I suppose that's what it seems like. But MIT means so much more to me than any of these people could understand. I am so defeated, and yet, this is all there is. I've been rejected, and it's over. The dream has not come true.</p>

<p>And that's the end of it.</p>

<p>Thank you, beloved reader, for taking the time to read this post. I send best wishes to those admitted, and I'm signing off. No more CC in my Daily's bookmark folder.</p>

<p>Goodbye guys. Thanks for everything.</p>

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<p>Good luck w/ everything!</p>

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<p>Well, it’s their loss. What you wrote was honest and passionate. Very moving. You’ll end up where you are supposed to be… and there’s always graduate school.</p>

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<p>I’m so sorry for your rejection. Just remember that you could still do great things no matter were you go.</p>

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<p>Come on dude. MIT is just a school. No more no less.
Remember that awesome people will be awesome wherever they go.</p>

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<p>Lurker,
You wrote a wonderful post. With your values, your scores, and your writing ability, it may be just chance. Please post again when you decide on your other options.</p>

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<p>Not to diminish your heartfelt and very eloquent words, but there are a lot of dreams being shattered this couple of weeks. Things didn’t used to be this way – us “old schoolers” are quite shocked at the cruelty of the process as it is now. Best of luck to you and I hope you find fulfillment and success wherever you end up. Please do keep sharing your journey - you have a gift for communication. :)</p>

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<p>On some level, I can totally relate. It’s hard to let go of a cherished dream. I’m just trying to tell myself that’s all it ever was- a dream. Best of luck, wherever you go.</p>

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<p>Cruelty? Can you expand on this?</p>

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<p>I felt so sad for you reading this. Honestly, I was touched. But as soon as I finished the post I stepped back and said, “why the hell is this guy so set on this school?” It’s almost ridiculous.
There’s really nothing to say I guess. It’s going to hurt, and you’re going to have to go through a difficult process of going through loss. It’s tough, but you’ll make it.</p>

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<p>PiperXP - I guess what I’m trying to express is how insanely competitive it has become to get into one’s college of choice. I, myself, had a fun childhood with lots of outdoor “playtime” (even in high school)… went to a low-key undergrad college, never-ever had a tutor hired for me or took any kind of a test-prep course. I worked hard in school, and volunteered in my area of interest, yes… but never felt at a disadvantage because (fill in the blank…didn’t have the money for prep stuff, couldn’t go to the “right” high school, didn’t have the legacy connection, etc.)… I never felt as though I wasn’t enough. I just “was” and that was fine! I got into a world class professional school and it was a delight. </p>

<p>Now, I look at my kids who are just as smart (pretty much smarter) than I and they’re getting rejections from local state schools despite very good performance, great extra-curriculars, etc. They chose not to get “test prep” … and nobody was hired to “read” <cough> their essays… it’s all just gotten too cut-throat and unpleasant. My kids spent time hiking and surfing and “living” … I know they’ll find their way (and they do have good options and are awaiting many more admission decisions) but it’s disappointing that “success” seems to now require an almost manic, tunnel-vision (cruel) approach. :::shrug:::</cough></p>

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<p>can always go there for masters phd, its not over yet :p</p>

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<p>I’d just like to say thank you for that post. It was great to hear about someone else going through many of the same feelings I am right now.</p>

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<p>lurker, this is exactly how I feel now.
I guess our mistake was to love MIT too much before applying (I’m an international student, and when I decided to apply to U.S universities, I first told myself “I really want to go to MIT…” and I ended up applying to many other U.S universities, but for me it was “MIT and the others”, like two distinct levels).
That always hurts.</p>

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<p>I guess it says a lot about the school that so many people are on the verge of heartbreak today. We all knew our chances were low, but somewhere deep down we let ourselves hope. MIT is definitely a class apart. Like hennebou said, “MIT and the others”. MIT is and always will be my dream school. It hurts but we’ll get over it.</p>

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<p>You still possess all the amazing qualities that you have developed during this quest. Use them to have a great life. Life is long and you show your true strength when things DON’T go your way.</p>

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<p>I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.</p>

<p>It hurts. But in having loved MIT you picked up your game, learned more, led more, and dreamed more. But for today, yeah, it’s painful.</p>

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<p>That’s where you’re wrong, and your characterization is unfair. I didn’t fit any of the categories you said. I was never tutored (I’m not sure why you’re complaining that your kids were never tutored - they got good scores anyway, right?). I never took a test prep course (at MIT, my fellow students generally scoff the practice - high test scores should be earned, not gamed). My high school was far from a good one - my chemistry class was a study hall because we didn’t have someone who could teach chemistry, so I didn’t take chemistry before MIT. I never hired anyone to read my essays.</p>

<p>I spent a couple hours outdoors every day - and weekends, I was usually out from morning to dusk (either horseback riding, or doing the barn work necessary so that I could afford to horseback ride) unless I was doing some volunteer work for Key Club that broke my day up in a different way.</p>

<p>No student I know at MIT tunnel-vision’d their way into here. MIT tends to weed out people who are not passionate about what they’re doing - if you just go for the big name, you probably won’t have much luck here. I sometimes wonder if I had been on College Confidential before MIT, or if I had known what MIT was before the end of junior year of high school, if I would’ve tried to “mold” myself to them more. I’m so glad I didn’t. I had a blast in high school, did exactly what I wanted, and ended up in a college that suited me.</p>

<p>So, I’m sorry, you don’t get to rationalize yourself on this thread by insinuating that we’re all brainwashed, rich prep school kids who gamed the system. I can’t find a single one of my friends or acquaintances who fit this model. Certainly, some of them wanted to go to MIT long before I knew what MIT was - because they saw a match in interests.</p>

<p>At the end of the day, there are more kids trying to get into the same colleges, so you may need to update your list on what a “low-key undergrad college” is.</p>

<p>It’s entirely possible that your kids were part of the 80% of the application pool that was qualified for MIT, but that MIT had to reject. There’s not enough room, and everyone who gets in is lucky for it (though I have to say, when kids get entitlement complexes to college admissions, it’s totally a sign that MIT made the right call in rejecting them). If your kids are smart, and apply to plenty of places that match them, they’ll find something right. If they keep doing what they want to do, and pursue it hard, they’ll end up where they need to be (though they may not think it’s the right place at the time).</p>

<p>If you think your kids are as good as you say, have faith in them to figure the world out.</p>

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<p>I know exactly what you’re feeling right now. “Broken” - it really does resonate with me. I hope we can both get through this rejection together.</p>

<p>Sent from my SGH-T959V using CC</p>

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<p>I really feel for you and I can understand the pain of the rejection. The competition is just brutal and getting accepted to a lot of these tops schools truly is like winning the lottery. Your dream - and many other kids’ dreams are being shattered left and right.
As you said, you’ll move on. But it is human nature to go through the stages of grief. Just know that you WILL feel better one day. I hope it’s soon.
Brutal process. At least you tried.
Good luck to you.</p>