One Trimester Later: An Update From A Certain Knox College Freshman

Parents Forum
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<p>The sociology class was a 100 level class, so I think that may be part of the problem. I highly doubt the upper level classes will be like that. Not many people in the class were ANSO majors. I think the athletes may have thought it would be an easy A elective when it wasn’t. I plan on double majoring in Anthropology/Sociology and Theatre.</p>

<p>What happened was that a lot of upperclassmen started to request to be in the group and they kept on saying negative things about my class, making fun, etc. They thought it was weird we were sharing our schedules, doing normal freshman stuff, etc. I was basically just sticking up for my class, so I don’t think I put it on myself. The thing is that a lot of Knox students are the go with the flow type of people, and I am not. I did get carried away with the group though and was on it way too much, I will say that.</p>

<p>Does anyone have any other suggestions for schools? It just seems that the likelihood that New College will give an affordable package is slim just based on the fact that only 4 college’s gave me affordable packages out of 13 in the first process.</p>

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<p>early_college - take a look at Truman U in Missouri. I am not sure about anthropology program there, but several kids transferred there after first semester fresh year with really good merit aid. The place is very accepting from what I heard.</p>

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<p>* The thing is that a lot of Knox students are the go with the flow type of people, and I am not. I did get carried away with the group though and was on it way too much, I will say that.*</p>

<p>Im thinking that you could find that you could learn a lot from your peers if you were a little more open minded.
You’ve wanted to attend Knox since you were a freshman in high school, there must have been a reason, why not give yourself a chance?</p>

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<p>I feel like I am open minded. My point was that a lot of students will just pick random classes when I’m more of a planned person. Actually, I did not want to go to Knox since I was a freshman. I wanted to attend an early college. NYU was actually my dream school growing up. Oh and I def will give myself a chance. Like I’ve said in past posts, I do not want to transfer. I will only do so if Knox doesn’t get better.</p>

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<p>In 2009, you had Georgia------>Knox as part of your ID.</p>

<p>Part of growing up is learning what you can from your surroundings, listening is a part of that.
;)</p>

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<p>I put that this past May, so all my old posts say that.</p>

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<p>OP, you can’t run away from yourself.</p>

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<p>Go ahead and send out applications - you may or may not have found more friends come spring. You only need a handful to be happy in my experience. You might even a apply to one or two schools for which your SATs were too low, now that you have good grades in college courses, they may look more favorably on you.</p>

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<p>Thanks mathmom! And I def agree with you. I would be happy if I just had a couple close friends. I still don’t know what type of schools I should look at. I’m really dumbfounded at this point.</p>

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<p>There is a lot that you can do to mend fences with people, and reach out. volunteer at the theater, take the least desirable crew jobs to pay your dues (just like some do in high school). Try to make friends with those that have judged you and admit that your came off as a jerk.
My DS is at a very small school (smaller than Knox) and there have been a few guys that came off as pompous, conceited and affected. They thought that they were better than other people and would be worshiped. It is a freshman thing. I am not saying that you did this, but you admit to making mistakes. Give people an opportunity to meet you again. Stop judging and worrying about being judged. After all, those “jocks” got into school as well, and there could be more to them. The same amount of work that you put into choosing a school can be put into making this place your home. </p>

<p>You will have a different set of problems when your transfer and you will be at a disadvantage meeting people then as well. Go back with the intention of trying to make it work and learn from this. Regardless, you have learned many life lessons.</p>

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<p>I really do not think I came off as a jerk. I had a lot of people at Knox who told me how helpful I was. There was really more of a problem with the upperclassmen not as much with the other freshman. But I think I did come off as a little too excited. I know there is more to the surface, but I’ve just seen some of it first hand from my sociology class. I do agree with you though.</p>

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<p>There’s no reason not to send out apps. Actually you may find that once you don’t feel so trapped., it is easier to relax … and you are happy. I know this happened with at least two of my daughter’s friends. Good luck!</p>

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<p>If it makes you feel any better, of my son’s friends who are home for Thanksgiving, only about 25% seem truly happy where they are. Many are either “eh” about their choices or actively looking to transfer already. We parents are all encouraging them to stick it out a little longer and see if they find their groove, but of course support those who end up switching to other schools.</p>

<p>Good luck to you and keep us posted.</p>

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<p>Get a roommate, join some clubs, stop assuming people are talking about looking at you and just go with the flow. In otherwords, get involved. Any college you attend is going to be the same if you have a single room, eat by your self and don’t join anything on campus. I also wonder how much of this is that you really wanted to go elsewhere so you are trying to make this into a bad situation…</p>

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<p>There is something to be said about being low key and try to fly under the radar in any new social situation. Sometimes people try too hard, they come across as being obnoxious. It is better to try to figure out what the social dynamic is before exerting too much of your personality. </p>

<p>In OP’s case, it maybe better for him to try to self reflective a bit, see what he has done well, what he could improve on, and what’s his ownership of his current situation. Until he can be honest with himself, by going to another school is not going change anything for him. People are people, they are not that different from one place to another. D2 moved to another country high school junior year. She didn’t find kids to be that different. She used to say, “Same s***, different places.” She figured out lay of the land before she became too active. It is a useful skill to have.</p>

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<p>Wise words from MizzBee and oldfort.</p>

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<p>Transferring to a new school has its own challenges. Friendships have been established by the current students and one will be reliant on their social skills to find their way in a new environment. Not to mention that the scholarship monies offered to incoming fershman are not commonly available to transfer students, and if cost is still a major issue, it may be prohibitive to transfer. </p>

<p>Since Wheaton was such a close second college choice this past year, seems a logical consideration as a possible transfer option, if that is the route pursued. That said, one should not forego trying their best to find their way in their current school and work hard to join clubs and forge friendships while exploring/pursuing transfer options.</p>

<p>As a Thanksgiving analogy, if I make something and I am not happy with how it turns out, I will look first to see what should do to fix the recipe before looking to change the pan I cook it in or wonder what is wrong with the oven in which it was baked and question if I should replace the stove. That could be a costly option.</p>

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<p>Something tells me that you will fit in well at New College of Florida. Time to give it another look, I think.</p>

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<p>jym… I LOVE your Thanksgiving analogy…it is SO true. I have always told my kids to look inward first… because usually the only thing you can change is yourself…</p>

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<p>I never assumed people were talking about me. It was pretty obvious. If you searched my name on twitter, you would find dozens of tweets about me. Very sad, but I agree with all of you. And I didn’t want to attend another school, I picked Knox. My father wanted me to go to Wheaton and didn’t want me to go to Knox. My mother was way more supportive of my choice. </p>

<p>I was a little too excited before I went to Knox. I literally became facebook friends with over 100 freshman before touching foot on campus. I skyped, texted, facebooked with a group of friends all day throughout the summer. I thought I already made close friends. I requested to be in my suite because of a girl who I talked to since April. </p>

<p>I 100% agree with you oldfort. Actually, flying under the radar was my plan. I have a very big personality, so I didn’t want to come across too high strung. Yet, the facebook group really changed that, and it did hurt me in the long run. But I have no regrets because I learned from my mistakes. If I ever did transfer, I would make an effort that no one knew who I was before I attended. Another problem is that I really don’t get along with some of my suit-mates, and I don’t think we ever will. </p>

<p>I know what I did wrong, and I am going to try different tactics next term to make a more successful trimester-socially. I’m sure transferring is even harder to do at a small liberal arts college because it’s more close knit and everyone knows one another. I’m sure if I attended a big state university, it would be an easier transition (but I may be wrong). </p>

<p>I do know some transfer students at Knox, and they don’t seem to have any problems though. I really think I have good social skills, but people just have to get to know me. There are a lot of things about myself many may not understand without understanding how I am. I guess over time people will get to know the real me. </p>

<p>Finances would be a big concern like Jym noted. In my gut, something tells me that none of the other schools I got accepted to were meant to be if I didn’t pick it the first time. I may be having the wrong attitude, but that’s just what I’m thinking. </p>

<p>I really love New College for the open curriculum, no grades, etc. But it also has 700 people, which is even much smaller than Knox! It may be hard transitioning there. I was also thinking about American (bigger school and better location) and Kalamazoo, but I think both probably have too narrow of a curriculum for my taste. I do love the no grade approach though! Maybe patsmom is right, maybe New College is for me. I know Hampshire/Evergreen have the same no grade approach, but I don’t think either would be a good fit.</p>

<p>I know it doesn’t hurt to apply now, but something tells me I don’t want to. On one hand, I’m really not that happy, but that can change. On the other hand, I don’t want to be seen as just trying to get out of a bad situation. I know some people who said they hated freshman year, and others who said winter/spring term are much different than fall term. People start showing their true colors, etc. </p>

<p>I kind of want to reassess transferring after winter term, but don’t want to miss the opportunity to apply at New College. If I do decide to apply, should I tell my parents? I’d probably use my own money to apply. I know they would be supportive, but I don’t want to cause attention to a situation that may get better. </p>

<p>Thanks everyone!</p>