Opinions please!!!

<p>I have a really good kid who is a senior and want to drive with her girlfriend 5 hours to UF and stay with some girls who were seniors at her school last year. She is iffy for being accepted there but if she does get accepted, she will enroll there. It bothers me to have 2 17 year old girls drive 5 hours up the road on highways to stay over at a college. </p>

<p>Have any other parents experienced this?</p>

<p>Well, she’ll do it on her own next year and you won’t even know about it - why not let her go to “try out” the freedom in a setting that’s at least got a little bit of a safety net?</p>

<p>…at least that’s my motto this year with DS.</p>

<p>Why not drive them there, rent a cheap hotel for you to stay in (try priceline.com)?</p>

<p>We let our 18 yr drive 1 hour north to a performance. I required her to have herself and passenger have directions. She’s been driving for 18 months and thought she would be fine. She came home saying- I don’t think I’ve driven on freeways at night before and didn’t know what to do but made it home. UGH!</p>

<p>I let my my 17 year old go to Cambodia, India, and Thailand by herself for two months, and sent my 16-year-old to Cairo. </p>

<p>But neither drove to their respective colleges, which were 3,000 miles away.</p>

<p>I think the drive is what would concern me more than the stay. That is a long drive even for experienced drivers and in my opinion too long a drive for 17-year-olds. I think statistically even another year in age makes a difference. 18-year-olds are less likely to get into an accident than 17-year-olds. How long has your daughter been driving? Will they be driving during the day or night?</p>

<p>^^ same thought here. Is there no adult who can go along to help with the driving? Any other way for them to get there such as by bus?</p>

<p>^ Out of curiosity, what is it about it being a five hour drive vs. say an hours drive, that makes a difference in your mind? Do you mean fatigue is greater on a long drive? What if its during the day and they divided the driving between them? </p>

<p>I’d personally be nervous about the driving but not the stay too. Then again, all driving by young people makes me nervous but I’m not sure that means I shouldn’t let them (I mean if I let my feelings decide it, they’d never drive). But they have to drive at some point and get better only with practice (or so the current research suggests- its the practice not the age that matters). Objectively speaking, I think driving in the traffic in our city every day is far more likely to result in an accident than 5 hours on the highway.</p>

<p>I would be concerned about the two young people traveling together. There’s a reason why some states restrict people from having passengers in the car for a period after they get their driver’s licenses. It takes time to learn to tune out distractions such as a passenger’s conversation and pay enough attention to what’s going on on the road.</p>

<p>You don’t seem to object to the visit itself. Could the girls travel by some type of mass transit?</p>

<p>5 hours is not bad at all. It’s not like they would have to stay overnight anywhere along the way. And it’s Florida so it’s not like there’s snow or anything to worry about. I started driving to the other side of the state (4.5 hours) by myself and with friends when I was 17. I also drove to Myrtle Beach when I was 17 with 2 friends (from Michigan so I think it was like a 14 hour drive?). 5 hours is really not that bad of a drive. </p>

<p>With that said, only you know if your daughter is mature enough to make the drive. If she drives a lot, then let her go. If she drives only a few times a week or very, very short distances (not requiring freeways) then it’s probably not a good idea.</p>

<p>As a parent now I might be wary about doing this.</p>

<p>However, many moons ago, when I was a high school senior, my parents let a girlfriend and me drive over 300 miles to Vancouver Canada for the weekend. We didn’t think anything of going by ourselves and we rented a hotel room and had a grand time. We even stopped by the side of the road on the way up and took a nap!</p>

<p>And another time a bunch of friends drove around LA together (I’m from Oregon), and stayed by ourselves on a houseboat!</p>

<p>Times have changed!</p>

<p>I wouldn’t have a problem with it and pretty much agree with what romanigyspyeyes said. </p>

<p>I drove 5 hours+ my senior year to visit friends at schools in Boston and Philly and 4+ hours to NYC with friends. Once I was in college (2000+ miles away,) I drove all the time from school and back and we always did in straight through - 24 hours door to door.</p>

<p>Interesting thoughts, Im so not worried about her at the school, its the 5 hours on the road that worries me. I told her i would drive them…that didnt go over well…I found a bus and they said its a bit sketchy.</p>

<p>I’m your daughter’s age, and I have been in situations where I’ve been in a car with kids my age or sometimes even a year or two older on long car rides. We plan a long trip, and eventually get there, but there are definitely some iffy moments along the way. Especially when it’s a 17 year old pretty new driver. We may think at this age we are ready to make such a long drive, but you’d be surprised the nerves that come over a 17 y.o. driver when they make a slightly wrong move on the highway/parkway and suddenly have a bunch of experienced drivers honking at them. It’s very stressful. Also, getting lost, even with a GPS, is pretty nerve wracking when you’re 17 and don’t really know general directions to get there if something goes wrong or you make a wrong turn.</p>

<p>Is there any way you could drive your daughter and her friend to the school? As previously mentioned, you could rent a cheap hotel/motel and your daughter and her friend could have the freedom they want after that. It would likely offer peace of mind to the both of you, even if she may not see it like that at first.</p>

<p>As for the part about you staying, I have a recent personal experience with something similar. Last weekend my mom and I went up to William&Mary together. We took a 1 hour plane b/c driving takes 8+ hours. She stayed in a nearby hotel and I stayed with a kid who graduated from my school a couple of years ago. If this is your daughter’s first time staying overnight at a college, it may be nice for her to know that if something goes wrong or she’s in an uncomfortable situation, you’re not too far away. I know many will say at 17 and getting ready to go off to college, a kid shouldn’t have to feel so reliant on a parent. But a kid’s first overnight stay at a college-- where they are largely surrounded by complete strangers who are older than them, and often are in some sort of college party environment over the course of the stay-- is a situation where it’s okay to back your kid up. I’m one of the most independent kids you will ever meet (I’ve gone away for weeks without contacting my parents), but I admit it felt nice when at one point during the night at a party I felt a bit uncomfortable I knew I could always call my mom, even though I didn’t actually call her; knowing such an option was available was nice, though.</p>

<p>What’s wrong with you driving them? The fact that she doesn’t want you to drive might make me wonder if the college is the only destination. You should be able to find a hotel to stay in while the girls visit campus. </p>

<p>I think 5 hrs is a long trip for young, inexperienced drivers. I don’t think I would let my kid do it.</p>

<p>A lot depends on what kind of kid your daughter and her friends are. </p>

<p>Mine did a long road trip with two friends the summer after her senior year. They had a safe car, took breaks and were fine. I was less so. It’s natural to worry, but it doesn’t seem to me like a 5 hour freeway car trip is an unreasonable risk for a 17 year old to take.</p>

<p>I would not and did not allow my kids to take such a long drive on highways (there and back!) at that age.</p>

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<p>So what? You are the parent.</p>

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<p>Then don’t allow it. Go with your gut.</p>

<p>Set an example. When she is at college, do you want her to listen to her gut when it says no…or do you want her to accept something that bothers her?</p>