<p>Here's the scenario: DD has 2 schools that she is totally in love with. School #1 has been her dream since she was about 12 years old. School #2 is an extremely close second choice and, while an excellent choice for any student, is still not #1, as far as she's concerned - but she still loves it and would be very happy/successful there. </p>
<p>DD has been playing sport for most of her life, devoting summers to camps/tournaments/lessons, etc all in the hopes of having it be an "in" for colleges (always with the dream of school #1 in the background). Problem is #1 coach is tough to read and we're not hearing much from them while coach of school #2 is actively recruiting and being proactive (we suspect that #1 is most kids' first choice causing #2 - their competition - to be more aggressive with recruiting and showing interest). </p>
<p>DD would go to #1 even without the sport but it appears would have to be accepted on her own w/out coach support. A long shot but possible (legacy, other activites a plus). Is it rude to go through the recruiting process with #2 and let them know, honestly, that they are a top choice but we are waiting for the regular admissions process to run it's course? While it seems silly to turn down a great offer from #2, it doesn't sit right with us to accept anything knowing that we would turn it all down if #1 comes through naturally in the winter. My gut is telling me that DD may not be accepted at #1 without the support of a coach but I could be totally wrong. #2 appears to be a sure thing. </p>
<p>Personally, I’m fine with leading a coach on to make sure I have at least one school while waiting on the other to respond. Your protecting yourself and coaches surely do it all the time. I would let the 2nd choice school know that you want to come there and there a number one choice currently. While waiting on the second to come through during regular admission.</p>
<p>Thats just what I would do, but I’m probably not like most people on the board. I just would rather play the recruiting game and secure myself a spot on a team, rather than reject them and risk it all on my number 1 choice.</p>
<p>P.S, I play in the ISL (or maybe its not the same isl…?) :D</p>
<p>My advice would be to take it a day at a time. Eventually the picture will become clear. (Sorry if that sounds like a fortune cookie). Seriously, though, continue with the recruiting process and see how it develops. Coach 1 may be cool right now, but his recruiting picture could very well change in the next few months. Don’t close any doors and don’t take any wooden nickels.</p>
<p>First of all, do you know what the timetable is for recruitment in this sport? Is it early in the process or getting late? If D still has some time to work with, then I’d focus on getting a more definite or better-informed read on school #1 if you don’t have it. Your post read to me like there might still be some doubt as to where your D stands with them.</p>
<p>Like others on this forum, I’m here to tell you that the school which at first does not seem to be a possibility, can end up being the school your child attends. The opposite can also be true: sometimes the “sure thing” isn’t ultimately a sure thing after all. So if you have time to wait a little to see how things play out, by all means stall. </p>
<p>That said, I’m a firm believer in both being honest and only saying what is true. Therefore, I would craft a statement similar to what cardinal suggests and that is actually true for your DD. For example, right now school #2 is your DD’s best option. Maybe it’s not her favorite option, but it IS her most sensible one because it is almost a sure thing whereas school #1 isn’t. So, perhaps D could tell the #2 coach something like: “Of the schools which are currently offering me slots on their team, your school is my top choice.” That is true but leaves the door open a crack.</p>
<p>Are we talking D1, D2 or D3 for the sport? Because the timetable is significantly different depending on the division. If it’s D3 of D1A, then it is too early in the recruiting timetable to make any difinitive statements about the temperature of coach #1. See where you are by the end of the summer and then decide what the next step is.</p>
<p>TheGFG is absolutely right!!! You are in the middle of a negotiation. First priority is to stay true to your values. This means that careful consideration has to go into stating your position in the context of your negotiation. I am sure both coaches are great individuals and on the margin, want the best for your child. Their job, for which they are paid and their families’ livelihood depends, is assembling the best team/squad to represent their school in the their sport. They have untold priorities that will most likely never be revealed to you. If they are good people, they will respond truthfully when asked a direct a question. It’s your job to ask the right questions. Conversely, if your child is good person, they will respond truthfully when asked direct question. This does not mean revealing your priorities, options, or concerns, except those that it is in your interest to reveal. Consider the potential questions and craft careful responses that are true and reasonable, but maximizes your options. It is the coaches job to represent the schools best interests. It is your child’s and your job to represent your interests. A great introduction to the adult world.</p>
<p>My two cents…most coaches are tough to read during recruiting. They are tough to read because they do this every year, and you may only do this once or a few times in your life. As another poster commented to me in an email: “Coaches are the masters of ambiguity and vagueness”. No truer words have been written. Recruiting is a game of poker. As Varska suggests take it one day at a time, and let this develop. In other words, you have a whole poker hand to play…play one poker card at a time. It is July 12 and there shouldn’t be any sense of urgency. The coaches are trying to get the best possible athlete for the least amount of recruiting dollars or recruiting equity with Admissions. Coaches actions speak louder than words, and over time you will get a sense for where/when this is going to go for you. </p>
<p>Personally, I would be partial to the school that demonstrates they want “me” with all things being equal (academics + athletics). If your son/daughter has to chose between school #1 with academics only and school #2 with academics + athletics, then you have some soul searching to do and other factors can enter into the decision making (location, financials, club sports, etc…).</p>
<p>I don’t think it is rude for you to continue to pursue school #2. In my mind, it is expected and part of the recruiting game. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if some other schools came into the picture for you as well. Depending on the athletic conference (ie…D1, D3, Ivy) will you know anything from schools #1 and #2 above. Each may have a different time table, and dependencies with Admissions. Also, coaches have a way of warming up as things develop on their end. Remember, they are looking at thousands of candidates at camps, showcases, etc…they are pretty busy right now. You will get calls, emails from schools you’ve written off. It happens all the time. Keep playing your hand, and continue to look at other possibilities. Best of luck.</p>