My son will be accepting a verbal offer of 100% support at an Ivy tomorrow. He has narrowed his schools down to three and another has also offered and wanted an answer soon. We assumed that when he accepts the offer at his top choice school that he should let the other two know that he has committed elsewhere. We were advised by an experienced and trusted retired coach to not cut ties with other schools until he receives a likely letter, hopefully in his case before October 15. Any thoughts on this advice??
Congratulations to you and your son! I believe the best approach is for recruits to let the other coaches know soon after committing. Within a few days if possible. Your son should thank the coaches for taking the time to discuss their programs with him, tell them he’s impressed with their programs, and let them know that he’ll keep them informed if things don’t work out at choice number 1. They have had this conversation many times and will appreciate his candor. Keep in mind he’ll be seeing these coaches for the next four years. One of them might even become his coach at some point. Still, these will likely be some of the toughest calls your son has ever made.
I’m assuming the coach advising you thinks that until admissions is certain you should keep those options open. Frankly, I think admission is pretty certain. But think it through anyway: for one thing, it’s highly unlikely this commitment won’t get around. That’s especially true if your son is a track athlete as your username suggests. Those coaches know each other very well and talk all the time. So how are those coaches holding slots for your son going to feel when their friend tells them that your son already committed to him weeks ago? And how is the coach your son committed to going to feel when he finds out your son hasn’t told the other coaches? If it were me, I’d start to wonder how firm this commitment really is. And this doesn’t even get into the very real possibility that your son would essentially have to lie to those other coaches in the several weeks it takes for a likely letter to be produced. All this for what? If it’s to keep those other options available in case admissions falls through at option 1, then I don’t see the logic. First of all, with coach support and a positive pre-read at an Ivy your son is highly unlikely to be denied admission. If he is (and again, I think that’s very, very unlikely) is the thinking that your son would just move on to option 2 and hope things go better there? Probably not. More likely, if something unexpected has derailed admission at one Ivy, it’s going to be a red flag at any Ivy. And your recourse then would be to talk to the coach at option 2 to try to figure out how to proceed. Not sure much help will be forthcoming from that coach if he’s been in the dark about commitment to option 1 for weeks. It’s just easier and more effective to be honest and straightforward from the start.
While it’s true that there’s a bit of a leap of faith in this process, there’s really no way around that. Congrats again and good luck with the phone calls.
Thanks for such a thoughtful reply! My son and I both agree with you. He made one tough phone call last week and he was pale and shaken when he hung up. It was like a painful breakup. He is dreading the next call even more since he loved this school and could see himself there…just not as much as he can see himself at his first choice.
He has matured leaps and bounds through this process, while I have aged!!!
We went thru this and it felt similar to what you said about son and the tough calls. If it helps, keep in mind that the coaches are used to this. Good luck & congrats!
Note: I assume the coach told you the Likely Letter is in the works and coming. For what it is worth, my D/S did not Track & Field Ivy Commit until early/mid Oct. after the last overnight, official visit they went on. The coaches at OV and otherwise had said you are our top recruit, give us the word and we will send a LL. There was some pressure put on though we kept them waiting a bit until we were absolutely sure of the choice. I told my D/S if pressured they could put it on us and tell the coaches that their parents were making them wait to be fair to us and the other schools as it is a big decision, etc.
Also, it’s been said elsewhere and I am sure it is not the case here but do not make the choice based on the coach. Most all the T/F coaches that were recruiting my D/S moved on before 4 yrs. were up. We picked based on the school, academics, the fit, and sports was a consideration but not top but on the list.
Congrats!
Thanks recruitparent! He LOVED his visit at the second choice school, made friends, and literally went to his first non team related party. He was flying high and sold until choice number one came around. He is going to submit his application to his first choice today and call the other coach on Tuesday. Knowing him, he may not end up waiting that long since he will be dreading it so much.
Your welcome. Congrats,-fun & exciting times.
You mention submitting his application to his first choice today, did he receive the Likely Letter yet?
They require the application to be submitted and if submitted by tomorrow he will receive the LL Oct 1-3. They are sent in rounds every two weeks we were told. Fingers crossed all goes well. This part really is about faith in the coach I guess.
P.S He did the academic read this summer and had “green light”
Yes, it does require some faith in the coach at this stage. But that’s been the process for the Ivy track athletes I know: application first, then LL a few weeks later. With the positive pre-read and coach support at an Ivy I wouldn’t worry too much. Take the app seriously, obviously, and perhaps hold off on the bumper sticker. But you are safe in being optimistic.
(I think there are situations in which a likely letter can be produced without a full application based on a competing offer, which might be what recruitparent is referring to. I haven’t heard of that happening much. Even the athletes I know with P5 offers went the route of full application followed by likely letter.)
All the above advice is correct.
It is a very small universe with respect to these coaches. Different sport, but we traveled half way across the country and unknowingly met with a coach at Brown who was good friends with our local D2 coach. They literally all either are friends or only one friend removed from each other. S got a very early offer, and within 2 weeks a few other programs made offers, not because he was that special, but I’m sure because it got out there through word of mouth that a competing program was trying to lock him up early. These guys all talk to each other.
And those phone calls are rough, or at least the dread beforehand is. Usually the call goes better that the kids think it will. The kids do this once. Most coaches get told no by guys they really like and want several times a year. So they don’t take it personally. S had one coach he was almost in tears telling no. But the coach told him that he chose a great program, and if anything changes call me, otherwise good luck and I’ll see you at D1’s!
He spoke with coach of school #2 today and was completely honest with him. He just hit submit on application for school #1…let the nervous wait for the LL begin!!
Definitely can be a nervous few weeks! It’ll sure feel good for the rest of fall and winter though. Congrats again to your son on handling the process well to this point, and good luck!
I was impressed when my daughter told me yesterday that she called all the other coaches and told them she was committing to another school. In this day and age I would have thought kids would text or e-mail. Actually, one of the OV coaches was in town yesterday and my daughter rode her bike to the boathouse after school to tell him her decision. I think it takes courage to pick up the phone or approach a coach in person and I’m glad our kids did this.