<p>Both parents went in our case; I had not even seen our son’s school on the other side of the country. We enjoyed helping him settle in, doing some extra shopping, and attending the parent events. The school organized everything so we stayed out of our son’s way most of the time.
We were in the area a few months later and visited our son - who we were glad to see had settled in very well and who wanted nothing to do with us on “his” campus - except for a nice dinner out, of course!</p>
<p>“If your parent wants to do this, I suggest that you don’t object” - Exactly. They know if it would be affordable and enjoyable to them.</p>
<p>We both went with Ds for the first move in (all others, they were on their own). There are a lot of things that need buying, perhaps cell phone service that needs to be set up, etc. Plus, I wanted to get a look at where my kid would be spending the next 4 years of her life. If your parents can afford to go and have a desire to go, then welcome them! We did make it a priority to not linger…after all, the students need to get started on their new lives, too.</p>
<p>We did…
Both Mom and dad and 17 yr old sibling all flew with our student…
actually used the baggage allowance as our student took only 4 duffle bags.
We stopped by a BB&B to pick up order and then had dinner etc. We showed up at move-in with a filled car–as did every other student (and family).
A sibling can be an extra pair of hands and if you are close, it is a “moment” for them too. However-- I think that young children and grandparents/elderly won’t fair well in the heat/confusion and stress of move-in. This is not the time for a family trip/tour.</p>
<p>Move in went smoothly and K1 had things to do all afternoon though we did have a quick dinner that evening together. Then the next morning the opening ceremony/convocation and lunch included parents. The rest of the orientation was students only and we left right away. It is important that parents let go and GO :)</p>
<p>It is not unusual to have parents from across the country there for move-in. It is a right of passage so to speak…for both the student and parents. if done well, it goes smoothly and is a sweet memory. Most important is that the parents take a deep breath, step back and enjoy the view as their young adult is launched.</p>
<p>Reading this thread made me sad and actually brought tears to my eyes (and I’m a guy) … both my girls are getting close (Sr. and Fresh in HS) and it must have stuck a nerve. </p>
<p>This is one reason my wife and I are having practice runs with our kids. My oldest has been to summer programs this past couple of summers on the east coast (we are in AZ) and my youngest is currently in LA for a CTY program at Loyola Marymount for 3 weeks. We need to get used to letting go and these summer programs help. ;)</p>
<p>For freshman year, I did go 3000 miles with one kiddo. I went to orientation also and spent two days with a friend…turned it into sort of a mini vacation. I was able to help with the shopping we did in the college town…we did not ship anything. It would have been difficult for the kiddo to do this without a car.</p>
<p>The next time I was at the college was for graduation.</p>
<p>how sad…you only saw the school 2 times? wow…that is probably going to happen to my parents</p>
<p>I love the “It is a family decision.”</p>
<p>For us, clear across the country, check.
We COULD afford to all go, but didn’t feel compelled to go. DD didn’t really say she wanted us there, which I took to be DIDN’T want us there. I had gone Oregon to Ill without parents so I didn’t think it was necessary.</p>
<p>So we put her on the plane, shipped some boxes. I went out for freshman parent weekend, and then for graduation. DH went out one spring to help her move / store stuff before her study abroad. I went to campus twice and that was fine. I was not sad about it. But YOUR mom and your family might be different. Just saying that it is not REQUIRED.</p>
<p>I think it also depends on how prepared the college is for out of state students. I don’t think a lot of colleges have a pick up service at airports and just the logistics of getting to the campus with heavy bags, picking up packages and moving everything alone can be so much more trouble then having a parent who can rent a car and lend a helping hand. </p>
<p>Our daughter did it alone and it wasn’t that easy even with the shuttle service provided. She was one of the few students that didn’t have a parent, besides the internationals. Or at least that’s how she saw it. It was also a stressful time for me, not being there and being unable to quite picture her in her new home. I don’t think it’s necessary for a whole family or for both parents to fly out.</p>
<p>curleq,</p>
<p>How do you feel about things, and how do your parents fell about things?</p>
<p>If you think it embarrassing to bring one or both of your parents, don’t worry …you will be in great company, it seems most kids have at least one parent helping them move in/set up/make store runs, and of course every student thinks his or her parents are the most embarrassing parents on the face of the earth.</p>
<p>If your family thinks it is too expensive or too difficult for one or both parents to go with you, you will also be in good company…a lot of students do this solo and do just fine.</p>
<p>Have you connected with your roomie yet? If it is inconvenient for your family to go with you, if her family is going to be there, I am sure they would be helpful to you.</p>
<p>Just realize that there is no wrong choice on this issue, and that you and your family should do what works for you.</p>
<p>I would add that if you think you can only afford to go one time during the year, it might be better to go at a different time. For example, especially the first year, you might prefer to go for parents’ weekend (if there is one). Also, if your child is involved in the performing arts, you might want to wait to go for a performance.</p>
<p>Please know that there is a broad spectrum of choices available and no one should make you or your parents feel guilty about the choice you finally make. </p>
<p>Some families would feel they had fallen short if they weren’t present to hug the kid goodbye. </p>
<p>We shipped ours from the west coast to Boston where he then had to find a bus to ride to Hanover, NH. He arrived late at night in the pouring rain. He had to drag a trunk and large suitcase across campus to the dorm. That sort of adventure isn’t for everyone but I know he was rather proud of himself. He was aghast at the amount of fuss and stuff that arrived in the following days as people arrived pulling Uhauls.</p>
<p>But we’re kind of a Spartan family. </p>
<p>Talk it over with your folks. Make sure everyone understands that move in day is crowded and frantic – and that the restaurants will be crowded and parking impossible. It may be that you want to have a great weekend together at home the weekend before and let the settle in day be your business. </p>
<p>Keep in mind UPS delivers. You can arrive with a modest suitcase and sheets and a towel and have everything else come in boxes over the next week or so. </p>
<p>The options are endless. What everyone else does is their business. Do what fits for you and your parents.</p>