<p>My husband doesn't understand the "big deal" around moving in as a freshman. He thinks we should put our DD on the plane and let her do it herself. What do you think?</p>
<p>Some people DO put their college freshmen on planes, especially to far away places. It was not our choice to do this (I went with DD) but there were others there sans parents.</p>
<p>It’s really not a big deal -either way is perfectly fine. I drove my kid because I wasn’t going to pay for airfare to a place only a 5 hour drive away, but only stayed for an hour and most of that time was spent going to CVS and back a few times to buy lightbulbs (the first round trip I bought the wrong ones, so.) </p>
<p>Also, having sent my son off to camp for 7 weeks every summer since he was 7, I didn’t see the bringing my kid to college as a very big deal and neither did my son.</p>
<p>How does your daughter feel about it?</p>
<p>I think whatever your daughter is most comfortable with should be your guide. Our freshman D is going to school cross-country and both my H and I, as well as our younger son, will be going to help her move in. (It will also be a family vacation.) I can’t imagine our D handling the move-in on her own – since it is too far to drive, all of her dorm room supplies have to be purchased in her college city upon our arrival. She is too young to rent a car in order to do all that shopping, so I don’t know how she’d do it on her own.</p>
<p>I think every situation is unique – good luck with your D!</p>
<p>For us, it was sort of a right of passage- maybe more for us parents than for our kids. 
Both expected that we’d be involved, and both of their colleges had events planned for parents the day of move-in. My daughter’s school traditionally has a formal ceremony, with the students marching in with their class, parents in the audience, and an address from the President. My son’s also had an opening address, although it was not so formal, and parents and kids sat together. In both cases, there were kids whose parents were not there for one reason or another. I don’t remember it being an issue or even being aware of which kid had parents and whose didn’t. People came and went. It’s pretty much pandemonium.
Maybe if your Dh doesn’t see the need to go, you can go with your daughter. I have to say I liked knowing where they were going to be and seeing the set-up. You won’t see her for three months, most likely, if she’s that far away. Mine didn’t come home at Thanksgiving, so it was even longer for us.</p>
<p>I think it’s fun.</p>
<p>If he thinks she should do it herself because she’s able to, he’s technically correct. But if your D would enjoy some physical or moral support in the transition, why not? </p>
<p>If H is seeing this as The Moment when she demonstrates maturity and independence, I’d say there will be many other moments throughout the first year when she’ll have new challenges, so spread it out a bit. For example, if she’s not experienced with air travel, she’ll get that opportunity again during vacations when she’s not also juggling many suitcases and swirling emotions. </p>
<p>Of course she’ll figure it all out if she decides to go alone. If there’s no rented car, she’ll take the campus bus to the mall with others to buy her lightbulbs. But “she can do it” is not the only issue. Tell H to plug in D’s feelings to the equation, then see what happens.</p>
<p>Lots of good advice including every situation is unique. After the freshman move-in, most college students say to parents, “ship my stuff, I’ll see ya!” So, the freshman move-in occupies a unique spot in a family, in most cases. Most, but not all, freshman will be moving in with parents. The physical and moral support for the freshman can be important. </p>
<p>But I also found myself wondering if mom needs the time for the freshman move in. This is the beginning of an adventure for the freshman. For parents (I’ve sent two kids thru college), it is more of an end of an era. Seeing where your child is living, getting a feel for the dorm, environment, roommate, etc., might be imporant to you as a parent. Moreover, schools usually have a few programs for parents at freshman move-in. I went to one for parents at Emory, given by a Psychology professor, that I will always remember. Consider how much you, as a parent, need to go along.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t miss it for the world! But won’t do it the subsequent years or help her move out (they just store their stuff in dorm basement)</p>
<p>We will be taking our son the first year. He is the first to leave home. His brothers are looking forward to one more hurrah with all three of them together. Both of the younger boys have mentioned to me that they will miss their brother. My middle son (16) changed his summer plans so that he can be with his brother when he leaves.</p>
<p>He will be moving in a week ahead of time with the other freshman football players. Since we live 1200 miles from his school we will be buying everything he needs when we get there. If he took a plane by himself he would have to buy everything and transport it on mass transit by himself. If we go with him we can rent a car. He’s only 18 so he can’t rent a car on his own. Students at his school get a mass transit pass, but he won’t have one when he gets there the first year because he is moving in one week before freshman orientation.</p>
<p>He is looking forward to having us move him in to his room, and take him for one last family dinner. In future years we will probably just send him on a plane by himself. He is a pretty seasoned traveler. He has traveled all over the country without us for a few years now. But we think that he will benefit from having us there the first year.</p>
<p>I really think that it is a family decision. Different families, schools, and distances to schools factor into the decision. There is no one right answer that will work for everyone.</p>
<p>My oldest D expects parental/family assistance at every move in/out. I wish she would/could handle things more independently! Siblings are worn out and tired of it…</p>
<p>Sent from my Eris using CC</p>
<p>I think it really depends on 2 issues:</p>
<p>1) Where she is going to school, and how move-in works there. If my child were flying, had to find his own transportation from the airport, and would not be otherwise assisted, I would feel the need to go.</p>
<p>2) How your daughter feels about move-in, specifically: Does she want you there? Some kids would prefer their parents accompany them; others are more independent-minded. </p>
<p>In our situation, DS will be flying to school, but will be met at the airport by a staff member and transported to the school. We plan to ship a box with sheets, pillows, towels and the like, to be there when he arrives. Since he will be participating in an off-campus orientation prior to school starting, we really didn’t see the need to spend the money to fly along with him, only to turn back around and fly home.</p>
<p>I don’t think there are any rules about it. My guess is that more parents will be dropping their kids off at school than will not. Whatever works for a particular family and student is really a personal decision.</p>
<p>I simply had to be there and will forever cherish the quiet (arm in arm) walk that S1 & I took before all the craziness began.</p>
<p>“I think it’s fun.”</p>
<p>My DD’s college was in New Orleans. That move-in was DEFINITELY fun!</p>
<p>I think it’s a rite of passage and I would not have missed it for the world.</p>
<p>With D, we flew to her city early am, moved her in, went to her college’s receptions, kissed her goodbye, and H and I had dinner in the town before heading back to the airport. It was a bittersweet kind of day and a real rite of passage.</p>
<p>With S, it was a true rite of passage since I was moving him into my alma mater, and in a dorm only a few hundred feet from where my parents moved me in. </p>
<p>If budgets don’t permit, that’s one thing, but if budget permits, I think it’s a really nice thing to do together.</p>
<p>Every family will handle it the way they want to. For my older DS, he and I flew together and paid for his suitcase and a box. Then went shopping locally for the remaining items. I also helped him get organized in the room so that by the time I left he was free to attend weekend activities. We flew in the morning of the first move-in day and I was on a plane back home late the following afternoon. Since he was 17 at the time, I had to co-sign one or two documents.</p>
<p>My younger DS and last at home is 17 so I will have to co-sign one or two documents again. This time we are flying Southwest and will have his suitcase and 3 boxes checked for FREE. There should be less to buy locally this time. I will pretty much do the same for him as I did for his brother so he can quickly organize himself/room, etc and be free to enjoy the activities before the first day of class.</p>