Overcoming social and behavioral issues as an essay topic

When I was young (really young, like before 5th grade), I had a lot of issues that prevented me from succeeding. Social and behavioral stuff, like I’d tune out other kids and act rude to teachers. Not “normal kid” things, stuff that was special. I had some tests done and I went to counseling (I guess it was counseling), and I also was put in special classes in elementary school. Once I got into sixth grade, I started branching out and eventually became a top student, which is what I’ve been ever since. As you can imagine, these memories are very vague, although a few things stick out. Of course my mom remembers it very well and she thinks it’s what I should write about. She says it’s a “great story” and that she’ll help me fill in some of the blanks. Overall, how good of an idea do you think this is? I think I recall enough of it that I can write most of it independently, but do you think it’s too early in my life to seem sincere or genuine? I mean this whole thing ended in sixth grade, like entirely, so what I’m basically writing about is my life from ages 5-12. Also I’m not entirely sure it would communicate qualities like resilience or determination. I was way too young to work towards improving myself, to me it just seems I grew out of it. How compelling do you think this would be?

Your mom is justifiably proud because she watched how hard you worked to become the person you are. You say you just grew out of it but she saw it differently. It is a great story but you admit yourself that this isn’t the story you want to tell.

If you have an essay topic (or topics) that you like better, then use one of those. Genuineness shows.

But here’s the thing, you will almost certainly need to write more than one essay during the college application process. There will be the main essay (or personal statement) but depending on where you apply there will also be other prompts for additional, shorter essays. These often take the form of “tell us something in your early childhood that shaped who you are today”.

So you can honestly tell your Mom that it is a good topic and you will put it in the stack but that you have to come up with several other topics as well and that you don’t yet know which topic will be the main essay.

I think you should trust your gut. It seems for your mom it was a period of pride and awe to see you emerge into the person you are today. However, I’m not sure if this should be the focus of an essay. That being said, put pen to paper and explore a few directions. Pick the topic that you think conveys your best narrative.

@Otterma

I wouldn’t say it’s not the story I want to tell, it’s just that I have a few misgivings about telling it. Mainly, I feel like it was so early that it would come off to the AOs that a) I don’t remember it enough (which I do) or b) it wasn’t important to the development of who I am now (again, that’s false). Then again, I can keep them from assuming this by communicating the truth through my essay.

I don’t have a better topic, I just want to know if this one is good.

I’m considering using it as my Common App essay (Prompt 1), so it would be the main one. Which I’m fine with.

@svlab112

I don’t feel like I know enough about college essays to trust my gut. I do think this topic conveys the biggest change in my life, it’s just that I’m not sure how well something so early goes over with AOs. I feel like every kid writes about their middle/high school experiences, not their pre-elementary ones

Maybe when you start to write your essays you’ll have a sense of what you want to put forward. I agree that most will write about something more current.

My friend’s son insisted that he wanted to write about his struggles with depression. After writing that essay, he started to second guess it. He tried a different topic that he ended up submitting. My kids tried 2-3 ideas before settling on the “one”.

hey
i personally think that it’s a better idea to write about more recent things for college essays, like high school maybe middle school because people change a lot as they grow up. but as others have mentioned, you could try writing about it and continue brainstorming other topics just in case. maybe talk to your college counselor?

If you were talking about something that you had recently overcome, that would be one thing, but something you grew out of before age 12 won’t cut it for Adcoms. They want to know who you are and what makes you tick as a high school student and get a sense of your interests and passions moving forward. Anything that happened before high school is pretty irrelevant.

I agree with LoveTheBard although I wouldn’t say “irrelevant” but “a small part of your story” so maybe worth a sentence to contrast with your current accomplishments and future goals but definitely not the main topic.

@LoveTheBard
@1bostonterrier

I agree that recentness is important, but the problem is that there’s no big change or event that happened to me in middle or high school. This honestly is the biggest one I can think of, it’s just inconvenient that it happened so early. But do you really think it’s a deal breaker? I’m thinking I can write about it in a way that shows how the change itself is important and how it still affects me and guides my decisions. Is it still a bad idea if I do it like that?

Maybe reread the question to see if you need to highlight a big change in life. Maybe a small but meaningful change is also good. I’ve read essays about seemingly everything–from athletic shoes to pig care. This may be a different essay topic that you’re writing about, but taking a smaller change and showing the meaning involved would show writing skill, which is something they would appreciate.

Maybe think about this as a short story about how your heart changed about a subject. It can be as small as how you perceive a person through interacting with them in a 5-minute interchange, something that shows your struggle and how you changed as a person in that moment. First impression was X after interchange and personal change, you saw that person as Y. Again, strong writing will allow that moment to shine.

Strong writing involves usually images. Snapshots, that when set side by side you can see the change, the movie of that change passing by. Images in writing can include tastes, smells, textures, etc.

“Me and my blue-eyed brother laughed and swatted each other in the backseat in the ancient Ford sedan, our beloved family car” – image
“No one sat in the driver’s seat yet”–image
“The car lurched hard, but not from us playing”–image
“I sat up, suddenly serious, and punched my brother’s shoulder. “Stop hitting me,” I said. – image
“The engine rumbled. It had started by itself”-- image
“Hey-hey-hey” I slid forward to look over the front seat. Hey-hey-what’s going on?”
[[Once you set the stage, you can drop back and explain what’s going on:]] My gut was telling me that Joey, Brother Number 3, and always working on cars, had done something to the engine. But a ghost was also a distinct possibility. I was 16 at the time and this was before my AP statistics class. I couldn’t be sure what was more likely to be true. [maybe insert here what lesson you’re aiming to show change in as your essay progresses. Maybe it’s an essay about how he was afraid to get his driver’s license and this pushed him into the front seat of the car finally]
The car shifted on its own and began a slow drift down the driveway toward the street. Ghost or Joey. Driver’s license or not, I had to do something. etc.

Also writing about a discrete event, rather than an epic change over the course of a lifetime, would probably be stronger because it allows more strong images. It would allow you to focus on details, and smells, tastes, all five senses, the things that help a reader relate to you and to what you’re saying.