<p>My older son did not participate in these. My younger son will be interested in participating in a couple of these. Has this backfired, where your son or daughter judged the school based purely upon the couple of students who they were placed with? For example, they might have been placed with a couple of students who tried to get your son or daughter involved in binge drinking, or other activities that they were uncomfortable trying. Did the overnight give your son or daughter a realistic glimpse of what the campus culture is like (if they ended up attending a school where they did an overnight)?</p>
<p>I personally thought the overnight visits were important, because it gave my S more time on campus to experience the schools. He did three overnights and it seemed that they give him more opportunity to intuit the culture and "fit" of the schools. </p>
<p>One school probably dropped on his list because the dorm seemed "dead" with no kids hanging out in common areas, etc. compared with his experience at the other two. I don't think that was the ultimate deal-breaker, though. One kid we know was accepted at two of the HYSP schools. He was excitted and planning to attend one of them, but the drinking culture he was exposed to on his overnight visit turned him off. He had a great overnight at the other and is now a happy freshman there.</p>
<p>Are the overnight experiences the kids have anecdotal and therefore poor metrics by which to judge a school? Maybe, but I think they are a at least as valid as the campus tour and admissions office presentation. </p>
<p>We had selected the schools he applied to primarily based on the quality of their academics. By the end of the process, I came the conclusion that my S could get a good education and have a good "growing-up" experience at any of his possible choices, so I didn't really care how he made his decision, so long as it was his decision. Given a set of different-but-all-good choices, a somewhat random experience during the overnight visit is probably as good a reason as anything else.</p>
<p>Both of my children found the overnights valuable, although each one only took advantage of it at one school. My son had one school at the top of his list and, after an overnight visit, decided it would not be a good environment for him. My daughter ended up at the school she visited overnight and loves it.</p>
<p>Great post, Dad'o'2!</p>
<p>My son did 6 senior year re-visits. Yes, he was turned off by the partying at one of the schools that happened to be the reachiest on his list. And maybe it was unfair, because they dug up a last-minute host and it was a Thursday night, but heck, all the other schools were great too and he had to get down to one.</p>
<p>I had encouraged him not to pick favorites until he knew where he was accepted and I still think that's good advice, but he had so many great options on April 1 that it was dizzying. However, he came up with a decision and it was a really good one. For him, I felt visits were important, because he's very sensitive to the social vibe of a place. For others, it might not matter as much.</p>
<p>palermo, did each of your children base their decision on their experience by the social exposure of the few kids around them? I am thinking that a great fit my go to the bottom of the list bc of a poor matching of students who volunteer to show their school to prospies. </p>
<p>Dado2, thanks. The quiet dorm on a weekend would be something to take note of. The night of drinking which your son's friend experienced, might be important, but that culture might be there at just about any school. If the drinking culture were the staple campus weekend activity vs. an option for some students would be something to consider before just crossing that school off a list. I am wondering whether my son would make a campus wide judgement based on a group of 10 students he meets on a Sat. night.</p>
<p>I am having my son do two, plus an accepted student day the last week of March at schools he has been accepted to. He has to fly and they are all fairly close and my daughter goes to school in the area so she will be the base.</p>
<p>He really did not want to do overnights, he's sort of shy. but I think it's important #1 to give him an idea of what it's going to be like living with strangers and #2, I think you look at a school differently once you have been accepted there and know you will be spenidng 4 years there.</p>
<p>I too encouraged him to not pick a favorite until he was accepted and more importantly received the financial aid packages. I am anxiously awaiting his visits and his impressions at this stage of the game.</p>
<p>D1 did several overnights. All were arranged through the sport coach and she was placed with possible team mates. It definitely made her decision easier.</p>
<p>There are many stories where college arranged overnites are not ideal situations and where students/parents come away with a poor feeling for the college.</p>
<p>However our son did several overnites by visiting friends from hs who graduated a year or two earlier. They worked out fine and one got him a gig in the college pep band for a home f'ball game that weekend.</p>
<p>An overnight my S did was very valuable in cementing his decision to apply ED.
The overnight happened to work out to show the school/students exactly as described by "outside" sources. Of course, as others have said, sometimes the hosting arrangement is less than desirable.</p>
<p>^originaloog, that must have been fun for him!</p>
<p>If all of the options have high quality academics and are a reasonably good fit, it doesn't matter much how they choose, is what I think we're saying. Yes, a visitor migh over-generalize from a negative visiting experience, but if the other options are great too, it's not a big issue.</p>
<p>My son was treated in a totally princely superb manner by a simply wonderful freshman at one school..and still ended up at the college that placed him with a sullen, no eye contact person who informed him his frat "made" him take a prefrosh and then promptly dumped him in the dorm alone without even a key to his room.<br>
He returned for a second "accepted student day" at his current college and made up his mind his experience was "non representative." And that his social life was "up to him."<br>
When I think back on his Accepted Student Days..he went to three of them...we were simply filled with appreciation and stepping back and letting him go with his gut feelings by then. If your son or daughter needs to have a little more face time with the college before choosing..do it. But I wouldn't bother if your child has inner clarity. Senior spring is busy enough. Instead, send them to the Pre Orientation programs at said college..the hiking or service trips and they will arrive on campus with a slew of familiar faces in their freshman class. Our son hesitated and was busy and by the time he tried to sign up...those programs were full his freshman August.
I really don't think there is a wrong or right answer. I personally feel it is a lot to ask of current students to be able to drop their school work and social life to entertain fickle 18 year olds who might prefer another college anyhow...but if our son number two has the time and it would somehow make him feel better to have this chance to do overnights..I will be glad to get him there.</p>
<p>Like NorthMinn - One of my D's teammates, who was heavily recruited, used overnights to judge what the athletic/academic balance was, and how the culture on campus was between athletes/non-athletes. I think she made her final decision based on these, and is very happy at Princeton. D hopes to do this as well in the fall...</p>
<p>Lots of good advice...I particularly liked Dad'o'2's post. </p>
<p>I never did overnights...too shy. In my case, doing them probably would have made it easier to arrive at the same situation I eventually came to anyway. One suggestion: encourage your kids not just to tag along and observe, but to engage and ask questions, especially if they're concerned. If a prospective student gets dragged to a social event that he dislikes, he should <em>tactfully</em> be asking not just his host, but whoever he meets "Is this what most kids do for fun? How often? Is this a typical weekend activity? If I didn't want to do this, what else would be out there for me?" Everything should still be taken with salt, but a visiting student doesn't have to quietly assume that his host is representative. I don't mean that a kid has to spend the whole night in note-taking mode...just that he needn't resign himself to the role of silent follower.</p>
<p>(Easier said than done, I know. Like I said, I couldn't be convinced to go in the first place!)</p>
<p>There have been a few posts on this topic recently, so if you run a search you can probably find some useful threads.</p>
<p>I am not a fan of overnights. I think students can easily end up with a negative impression about a school simply due to chance (bad host, host drinks or just plays video games while the student is the opposite, placed in the "party" dorm or the "substance free" dorm, horrible weather, midterm period, host is exhausted, etc., etc.) and may consequently eliminate that school from consideration even though it seems like (and is!) a good match. As I have said, I did not like my overnight, and afterwards, I did not want to go to the college even though it's where I had been intending to go. I sucked it up and sent in my deposit anyway, was worried all summer, but I'm now in my second year at that same college and love it.</p>
<p>One of my friends in undergrad did an overnight and was placed in a fraternity. They happened to be having a party that night. The guy doesn't drink, doesn't party, and is pretty much one of the most subdued people I've ever met. He still came to the school since he realized he liked everything but the couple of guys he was hosted with and knew that as long as he stayed to normal dorms it wouldn't be a problem for him.</p>
<p>Oh, and one thing, if you kid isn't interested in a school, please don't make them do an overnight stay. I hosted a few potential students and while most were great, one wasn't interested in the school in the least and was only there because his parents made him go. He didn't want to do anything. We tried to give him campus tours, didn't want to go, we tried to take him out to dinner to talk, he just sat there quietly. When he was in my dorm room he just sat there and stared at the wall completely unnerving my roommate and myself. I eventually placated him by letting him play Grand Theft Auto since his parents wouldn't let him touch video games.</p>
<p>I did a three-day overnight stay in Cambridge, MA with a friend at one of the colleges I applied to. Though this might not be possible for everyone, it definitely helps if you know someone at a school you want to go to - you can shack up with them, they can show you around, and you can still meet lots of new people. </p>
<p>I wasn't with my friend the entire time; I spent a lot of time wandering around by myself, talking with students and stuff. I met a group of kids nice enough to take me on a tour of the dorms on a Friday night, just to get a feel of what was going on. </p>
<p>Personally, it was an amazing experience and I couldn't be more grateful to my friend for putting up with me for 3 days. XD What I saw during those 3 days definitely played an important role in which college became my top choice!</p>
<p>I think if you know someone at the college who can host or point you to nice people, that improves the situation for your kids. If not it is a bit random and things can go wrong such that the evaluation you child makes has been biased by visit, which on a different occasion would ended differently. Other issue is how much time will have in senior year? My D actually turned down visits in her senior year from some places, just not time. Those first half year grades do count at the top schools.</p>
<p>Hey nem ~</p>
<p>My D did them at 3 schools and they were VERY helpful for her. For my S, not so much. He did one at his then first choice school, School A, but it didn't go well - nothing terrible. But he was put in an apartment with 2 seniors as hosts and 3 other prospies who knew each other. They couldn't find anything in common and S couldn't wait for us to pick him up. And this was at a school he was familiar with! He was offered the opportunity to do one at the school he ultimately chose, School B, but declined not wanting to go through that again. Yet if he HAD done one there, he would have discovered the problems that led him to leave School B after one semester and transfer to School A! Oh well, live and learn. And he is now totally happy at School A!</p>
<p>Northeastmom: In my son's case, his host was very cordial and they seemed to hit it off during the overnight. However, it was a combination of the social scene (a lot of alcohol/drug use) in the freshman dorm and what appeared to be a lack of the student's interest in the classes he sat in which swayed him away from the school. Like kitty56's son, he did not want to do an overnight at the school he choose, subsequently found he disliked the large classes there and transferred sophomore year to a smaller school, which had not even been on his radar during high school. He likes the classes at his new school, but doesn't seem too thrilled with the Greek life that plays a big role in the campus social life. </p>
<p>In my daughter's case, she was looking at a school where it is well-known that kids hole up in their room and play video games, so the overnight calmed those fears and she saw that there were sufficient numbers of kids who were interested in other activities. She really didn't meet anyone that she connected with during the visit, but she found she was comfortable at the school. She is very happy there.</p>