Overwhelmed by CC....where do I begin?

Parents Social Lounge
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<p>I am happy to have stumbled onto CC via google. My S is about to start 9th grade, so I decided that we should start thinking about looking into the type of classes he needs to take and activities that he should participate in and we found CC. I have gotten chest pain over and over as I read through the forums about how difficult it is to get into a top college these days. His attends a medium sized Christian School in southern California that is not super strong academically but has other elements we seek for our S. He is NOT the type of kid who would ever seek our a site such as CC nor would he spend any time reading through it. I am amazed that there are so many students on CC because I only have my S as a point of reference. I am not sure if any student has ever gotten into an Ivy from his school (I could be wrong). So he is in a weak school academically. We asked the counselor a few weeks ago if S could take geometry this summer so that he could start out with AII in ninth grade and the comment we received was, "why would he want to do that? no student has done that here." S is very bright and he has never received anything less than an A his whole life, but then again the competition has been watered down. </p>

<p>What EC are important for him? He plays baseball, runs cross country, plays oboe and clarinet. He is mediocre at all of these activities but seems to enjoy them. His interests are hanging with friends, most of whom are interested in xbox and paintball. In other words, he is not the type of kid who will go out a start a business or invent a new computer language. He needs to molded into shape and coaxed. He is a blank canvas so to speak. </p>

<p>He wants to go to UCLA.</p>

<p>Where do we begin?</p>

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<p>i’d say voulenteering, studying for the act/sat, and getting very high grades.</p>

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<p>First, don’t worry about the math. Geometry in ninth grade is adequate. Continuing in the normal math sequence, it would enable him to take calculus in 12th grade, which is all most high school students really need and more than most colleges expect.</p>

<p>I would suggest that you start out by exploring the web sites of the various University of California schools. Find out what they require for admission (and if you’re confused, there are plenty of people here from California who can help you). Make sure your son is taking a high school curriculum that will meet those requirements. </p>

<p>Beyond that, the main thing is to take school seriously in the 9th grade. Many 9th graders don’t take it seriously – they think that this is a concern for the future. But 9th grade matters, not so much for the grades as for the preparation it provides for the later years of high school. Your son will need to learn not to let the Xbox interfere with getting his homework done and studying for tests.</p>

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<p>There is a whole thread of parents of students only one year older than yours - may be some good advice for you there - you can also see what the parents are already stressing over - so take everything you read with a grain of salt! This is addicting, but do your best to keep your perspective.</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/754591-parents-hs-class-2013-college-class-2017-a.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/754591-parents-hs-class-2013-college-class-2017-a.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>You are overwhelmed because it is way too soon for you to be worrying about college! Right now you should just encourage your son to do well in school – and don’t worry about college until the end of 10th grade at the earliest.</p>

<p>And if your son wants to go to UCLA … the last thing you should be worried about is Ivy admissions! Why give yourself a heart attack over stuff that doesn’t matter?</p>

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<p>Welcome to CC.</p>

<p>It is a good idea to know what your son needs to do to be competitive for college so that he has a variety of choices to pick from.</p>

<p>The standard 4 yrs english, science, math curriculum would be a good start. Some colleges require two years of a foreign language too. Help him develop good study skills. He needs to keep his grades up.</p>

<p>Have him take the PSAT as a sophomore in Oct of that year. It’s an early gauge as to how well he is tracking towards his SAT scores.He should take it again in Junior year.</p>

<p>The EC’s will work themselves out. As each EG becomes more demanding of his time he will be forced to make choices. Let him choose and let him change his mind if he decides to. It’s all about doing what he likes.</p>

<p>Make his summers somewhat meaningful. A summer job and/or some sort of volunteer work would be beneficial to his growth and not burn him out academically.</p>

<p>The most important thing to remember is that you cannot give him the drive to become an elite student. You cannot change his personalty to a Type A kid. You can’t and you shouldn’t. He will approach the college application process on his own terms. We forget this as parents. We can’t make them do something because WE want them to. It just doesn’t work out.</p>

<p>So good luck and set yourself some time limits on CC. It can be very adictive…</p>

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<p>Stress less; enjoy more. Have your son take part in activities that are meaningful to him, and work hard in school. There are thousands of great colleges out there that will be happy to have your son in attendance, and you need not spend anytime worrying.</p>

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<p>Where do we begin? I wouldn’t start by pushing him into advanced academic classes. Do you realize how many 4.0 plus students with zillions of AP’s get rejected at UCLA?</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Develop excellent study habits. First thing, limit the xbox/paintball time. Second, encourage his musical interests. Musicians are very disciplined, and they can apply this discipline to all their endeavors. They tend to have the highest gpa’s in the school. Since he already plays two instruments, support that strongly. Does he take private lessons? Have him pick his favorite of his two instruments, and get a private teacher. He should practice at least one hour per day. (Reward system: how about 5 hours of practice earns you one hour of xbox?) Encourage him to audition for a youth orchestra or band. The friends he’ll make when he gets more involved in music are NOT the type to sit around playing video games–they don’t have the time. </p></li>
<li><p>Encourage activities that will build his self-confidence, his ability to present himself well to others. Acting, if he’s interested, is fantastic for this. If an acting class is offered at his school, encourage him to take it. If he takes to it, have him get involved in local youth theater productions. If he doesn’t perform, he can do stagecraft, which will teach him a lot about teamwork and inter-personal skills. Speech and debate can also work wonders for building self-confidence and communication skills. Strongly encourage (coerce?) him to sign up for the intro class for speech/debate at his school his freshman year if possible. It will lay the groundwork for success in all his oral presentations, be they in science, social studies, or whatever.</p></li>
<li><p>Encourage life-long fitness activities. Since he is involved in xcountry, make sure he continues. The kids who are on the xcountry team are NOT the ones falling down drunk at the keggers. I cannot say the same for the baseball kids, though certainly, there are plenty of baseball kids who are not wasted on Saturday nights. But face it, after drinking the night before, it’s easier to sit on the bench waiting your turn to bat, and hang out in right field waiting for the occasional ball than to run 5 miles in competition. Also, when he succeeds in getting into a great college and is taking a demanding course schedule, there’s nothing like a 1/2 hour run to clear the mind and de-stress.</p></li>
<li><p>Encourage pursuit of a foreign language, and at some point send him off to a good- quality immersion program one summer when he’s more mature. He’ll learn a lot about life and independence, and will stand out favorably on his college apps. Since you’re in soCal, Spanish would be ideal. If he goes into medicine, law, business, education or many other fields he will have an edge in the job market. Also there are plenty of summer study abroad programs in central/south America that incorporate volunteerism, helping poor communities. This will also help him ace the SAT II in Spanish.</p></li>
<li><p>I imagine that his Christian school provides many community service opportunities. Also, if you are involved in church, I’m sure there are plenty of opportunities there. Make sure he volunteers a good portion of his free time to others.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>If he follows the above suggestions, he will develop into a wonderful citizen of our world. So, whether or not he gets into UCLA, you will be very proud of him as you watch him become the best he can be. UCLA and other top schools are looking for well-rounded individuals who will contribute positively to the university community. Not everyone at these schools has a 4.0 plus and 10 AP’s. However, I do believe you will find that if your S does the above, he will in fact get excellent grades and have the motivation to study for the SAT’s and take enough AP’s for UCLA (UC’s have a limit to the # of AP classes for weighted grades. Check the website, it may be only 4 or 5).</p>

<p>One final thought: Nix the video-games, and throw a big paintball party for him and his friends once a month, as a reward for his accomplishments in the above.</p>

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<p>Anything he can do to distinguish himself from his peers will help - continuing to play the oboe through HS, taking 4 years of a foreign language (college admissions folk love to see Latin on a transcript, btw), community service, athletics, part-time job, taking on leadership roles in academic, civic and social organizations… all good stuff to ensure he is a well-rounded student with pockets of distinction.</p>

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<p>I have to disagree with Calmom to some extent: it is important to make sure that you and your kid have at least a tentative academic plan mapped out for the coming 4 years, and entering 9th grade is the time to do it. Much better to do this now, rather than suddenly wake up after sophomore year and realize that it is going to be impossible to take certain classes by graduation because he doesn’t have the prerequisites or it is impossible to fit a sequence into his schedule in the remaining time. </p>

<p>It sounds as if it may be a good thing to start looking into opportunities outside your school curriculum. For example, I believe that this may be the last year he could participate in one of the Talent Searches by taking the SAT in the fall. If he does so and does well enough, he will be eligible to take distance learning courses and attend great summer programs that kids love. It is better to have the option in hand than not. </p>

<p>I also think that being a little proactive about ECs is a good thing. Not evaluating everything with an eye to how it will play on a college application–that’s not the way to live-- but encouraging him to dream big, help him look for opportunities, and be imaginative. This can enrich his life no matter what he ends up doing down the road.</p>

<p>Since you are a California resident you will need to inform yourself about the rules for admission to California state schools: how the GPA is calculated, which courses count and which are required, and so forth. Especially if he is interested in some of the more competitive CA schools. (Actually, it seems that all of them are becoming more and more difficult to get in to.)</p>

<p>From what you’ve said, it would appear that his friends and school may have lower expectations and ambitions that he does–or that you have for him–at this stage. That means that it is very wise of you to start looking around and figuring things out now. It’s not a question of worrying and obsessing, but it is a question of maximizing long term options.</p>

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<p>ucsdmd</p>

<p>Welcome to CC; there will be a world of help here. As you can see from my post count, I am only slightly further down this path than you. S1 is a rising junior at a very adequate liberal arts college, although I AM SURE that mistakes we made in his freshman and sophomore years in HS explained why he was waitlisted/denied at his first choice school. S2 is a rising senior, and I am committed to not making those same mistakes with him (and will surely find new ones, however.)</p>

<p>Like you, my S2 is in a non-competitive HS situation, and they have no idea how to prepare students to compete for admission into tough schools. When S1 was in school, they said don’t take any AP classes until senior year, maybe JR. We since learned that you could push, and get APs as a Soph. Older boy only had 1 AP finished before college applications were due; S2 will have done 6, and 4 more senior year.</p>

<p>So figure out how far you want your S to get in math, sciences, and languages by the time he is a senior, and then start working backwards to ID the classes he needs to be taking now.</p>

<p>Get permission for him to take the PSAT as a FR and again as a SO, to give you the data you need to adequately prepare for that test as a JR. Candidacy for National Merit Scholar is determined by that test, and there are schools that offer extremely attractive offers to attract NMS.</p>

<p>You are absolutely not starting too early, IMHO. Too early to become obsessive? Yes. Too early to be identifying specific schools? Yes. Too early to map out the most rigorous set of courses his school has to offer and a set of ECs he will truly enjoy and stay involved in? Absolutely not.</p>

<p>Let your son enjoy HS; your job is to fly high cover and make sure that the choices you collectively make mean that he has as many options for college as possible.</p>

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<p>Not correct.</p>

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<p>Don’t spend four years trying to “mold” your son for a school he may not get into even if he gets the right stats. The “most important” extracurriculars are the ones he himself chooses to continue. Also don’t worry about the video games unless they become a blatant problem (ie playing ten hours a day or not getting homework done.) A lot of “guy socializing” in college is done by hanging out playing video games.</p>

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<p>USCDMD - welcome to CC! First let me say that there are a many kids on CC that do not represent the norm so please don’t let them cause you any stress.</p>

<p>Many of us parents have run across guidance counselors who could be the twin to the one at your S’s school. It can be very frustrating. You know your child the best and if you feel he should be in a certain math level then you need to put on your “momma bear” hat and fight for it. I am glad I didn’t with S1, but wish I had with S2. I did, however, fight for S2 to take both German and French at the same time. Our GC was dead set against this, but I never backed down.</p>

<p>I have one that just graduated (a B/C student) and one that will be a senior (all A’s since 10th grade). Now that we are in the college process and they realize how important GPA is, they both have said they wished they had taken school more seriously in 9th grade. It totally amazed me how much one or two b/c’s can affect your transcript.</p>

<p>As for the PSAT…I wish I had understood the process better and had better prepared my kids for the test. I wouldn’t have paid for a professional prep class, but I think just taking a couple of practice tests and doing some minor review from the free online websites would have beneficial.</p>

<p>S2 is very bright, but in 9th grade he was lacking in organizational skills. He signed up for the debate team and it was the best thing he could have done. He only did it for a year, but it taught him to be organized, thorough, to be prepared and to anticipate.</p>

<p>It is not to early to start thinking about the cost of college. Take a hard look at your finances and begin to access what you can realistically afford. I have only been on CC for a year, but I have already seen many kids who are devastated because they did not have a realistic understanding of how much their parents could afford or they were disappointed in the amount of financial aid/merit aid offered by their college of choice.</p>

<p>This is just my observation, but colleges seem to be more impressed by a kid with 2 or 3 EC’s that they are passionate about versus a kid who signs up for everything just to pad his resume. It is your job to help your S find opportunities and it is your S’s job to capitalize on them.</p>

<p>My tip of the day is to keep 95% (or maybe 99%) of what you read on CC to yourself - or your S will become stressed out with all the info (and opinions) and will end up tuning you out. (all this info might also annoy your spouse :stuck_out_tongue: )</p>

<p>Get yourself familiar with the college board or college data website and take a look at the stats for admitted kids for schools you are interested in. </p>

<p>When the time comes, your son will have hundreds of choices so go out and enjoy your summer!</p>

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<p>I think so many guidance counselors are of limited help because their mandate is to get the highest % of kids over the bar, in the face of significant resource constraints. So there mental frame has to be one of meeting the minimum requirements. But top colleges want to see that you took the most rigorous coursework available to you, and that requires a curriculum few GC are prepared to design.</p>

<p>But they have do deal with truants, gangs, drugs, teen pregnancies, etc., so I have great respect for the difficulty of their task. If our GC had to choose between getting my S’s SAT mailed a day earlier, or meeting with the guardian ad litem of a foster kid, there is no doubt that the latter is more important.</p>

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<p>You mentioned that no one from your son’s HS has been admitted to an Ivy, but you also note that, as of now, he would like to go to UCLA.</p>

<p>Has anyone from your son’s HS been admitted to UCLA or Berkeley? Are you able to review with a GC the kind of stats and EC’s students FROM YOUR SON’S HS have had who have been admitted?</p>

<p>Unless your HS has had no students admitted to the top tier UC schools…it would seem that a CA resident with all of the HS courses the UC’s require, straight A’s, strong test scores and solid EC’s should be a viable candidate for UCLA.</p>

<p>But, at this point, you don’t know if your son will continue through HS with straight A’s and get high test scores. There are some good suggestions on this thread and other places on CC.</p>

<p>Keep in mind that you will find the HS years very unpleasant if you force activities and academics on him if he is not motivated or interested. It’s certainly valuable to guide and suggest – but don’t let it consume you or him. Try to be supportive of strong educational, cultural, emotional, spiritual and physical activities - and it appears you have been so far. HS years are tough, developmentally, for most US kids these days – pressure from peers, parents, the media etc. A mediocre musician, or an average athelete who sticks with those activities for 4 years of HS, enjoys the activity and is dedicated is usually is a stronger candidate than those who move from activity to activity each year hoping to find one that will make them a superstar.</p>

<p>I’ve got one kid who would fit the CC overachiever model and one “average” kid. Neither appears to have ever been on CC. I have found information here that is very helpful to both of them. If your child remains an A student, you might still want to follow some of the “B” threads. Many of the schools discussed would be matches or safety schools for your son. And…there are some underclass parents discussing high school issues and choices - as well as admissions issues. And…the parents are a little less hyper!</p>

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<p>Welcome to CC. This is a great board and I am grateful I found this site. As you can see from the postings above you will get good advice from well meaning, knowledgeable people. I really don’t have anything to add, except don’t feel overwhelmed, you are lucky to have time to help your child make wise decisions. I agree with the poster who said be careful with how you share/inform your child the info you gather from this site. I initially told my D about this site and she was totally disinterested and has never visited CC. I carefully picked my battles, making sure she took the right courses and was signed up for the PSAT, SAT, and ACT. When you live in a rural area if you don’t sign up early it could mean the difference between travelling 2 hours versus 45 minutes.</p>

<p>D was VERY fortunate thanks to the info I learned on CC - she applied to 8 schools and was accepted to all 8. It made for a very nice senior year. She will be a junior in the fall at a school which has luckily been a perfect FIT for her ……………… again thanks to CC.</p>

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<p>The single most useful piece of advice that you will ever read here is “Love the kid on your couch.” Let your kid be the kid he is, and help him (when he’s willing to receive help) become the best self that he can. Everything else will fall into place. When I stepped back from trying to help Happykid, she found an unexpected interest which consumed her HS years and show potential for becoming a successful career. It is nothing I could have predicted in 8th or 9th grade.</p>

<p>The second most useful advice would be to spend more time in the Parents and Financial Aid forums than in the others. This places are where the “grown-ups” hang out, and you are more likely to get reasonably balanced information.</p>

<p>The last piece of advice is to get real NOW, not later about the financial issues. Sit down with your tax return, bank statements, etc. and run the EFC calculators at [FinAid</a>! Financial Aid, College Scholarships and Student Loans](<a href=“http://www.finaid.org%5DFinAid”>http://www.finaid.org) and [College</a> Calculators - savings calculators - college costs, loans](<a href=“College Board - SAT, AP, College Search and Admission Tools”>Calculate Your Cost – BigFuture | College Board) Think about where you are going to find that much money. Think about how much college debt you are willing for your kid to take on, and about how much money you expect him to make in the summers and during the school year. Get on the same page about this with his mother and/or whoever else will be helping pay for college. Don’t let your son be surprised four years from now when he finds out he hasn’t been admitted to any college or university that he can afford.</p>

<p>It will be an amazing, and way too short, four years for you. Take time to enjoy the ride!</p>

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<p>

Some colleges expect three years of a foreign language and prefer four, so don’t drop languages too soon. For a freshman, I recommend that kids take a full academic load at the most advanced level they can do well at. (Generally B+ or better.) For some this may mean all honors courses, for others it may mean a mix, for still others, it may mean no honors courses. Freshman year is a good time to try out several extracurricular activities with the option to drop the ones that they don’t like. My younger son tried Model Congress but didn’t enjoy it so he dropped it, but he did do Science Olympiad and the literary magazine. He was also involved in orchestra (where he was a good, but never the top violinist). He did some math tutoring as a senior. Outside of school he had some activities he did on his own both to earn money and as a volunteer.</p>

<p>I think taking the PSAT for the first time as a sophomore is fine no need to do it freshman year. If there is one single thing I’d nag him about is reading. Both my kids read a lot of science fiction and fantasy and I am convinced it’s the reason for the very high verbal scores on any test they take. I agree with others that he’s probably sufficiently advanced in math as it is. Your goal educationally should be sure that he doesn’t close doors with his educational choices.</p>

<p>He’s just a freshman - who knows if UCLA will even be on his radar screen when he’s a senior. A solid academic schedule though will be useful anywhere. (And it’s worth keeping an eye on the UC system requirements - though I would think a school in CA would do that naturally as part of their curriculum.)</p>

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<p>There is a difference between worrying EXCESSIVELY and cautiously approaching the college application process. Waiting for the end of the 10th grade to start is hardly a good recommendation. No matter if ones plans to apply to the Ivy League or to a UC system school, it IS important to pay attention to the sequential part of the process. This is especially important if there isn’t a competent guidance counselor at your school. Fwiw, the “wait until the end of 10th grade” is what the most clueless GC like to tell their students. And the result is always the same: a lack of opportunities that becomes apparent in the 11th and 12th grade. There are plenty of things that should be done before the start of the 11th grade, or at least planned well. Testing is one of those! Taking the PSAT for the first time in the 11th grade is not the best idea! Selecting the appropriate EC is another; it IS a bad idea to start such activities in the 11th grade. </p>

<p>In addition, a bit of attention to the PROPOSED HS curriculum and a bit of attention to simple matters such as deciding when to take the PSAT will ELIMINATE anxiety and regrets in the 12th grade. Another important element is the need to FULLY understand how the GP at your school is computed. Are there honor classes? Are there additional points for taking Pre-AP or AP classes? Do you get credit for taking the class or do you need to take the exam as well? Is there a ranking system? Is it based on weighted GPA? The key will be to be proactive and decide to work with the GC or … blaze your own path with the help of hundreds of parents on a site such as CC. </p>

<p>My recommendation is pretty simple: ask a LOT of question. If confused, ask one more time. If you keep reading the same advice, chances are that this advice is pretty sound. </p>

<p>PS You HAVE come to the right place!</p>