Not sure if parents now are in the mood to chat but I’m not talking about predictions as I quoted before that “all models are wrong but some models are useful.” I’ll keep the part “all models are wrong” and focus on our past experience: How often did you do parent-teacher conference after elementary school, what topics did you cover, and how helpful do you think it is? In our public school we have few PT conference opportunities for my kids, but I have lasting memories of them. I heard that private schools have them all the time, is that true?
We always went to parent teacher conferences…all the way through 12th grade. At our HS, they were not mandatory for students who were doing average or above work. But families could schedule conferences if they wanted to. We always did.
The teachers were happy to see us.
At the MS/HS level, you only got a very short time with each teacher.
The school my son attends has Parent/Teacher/Student conferences twice a year - once in the fall and once in the spring. I have never missed one. I like meeting his teachers, chatting with them, and hearing about their class and my son’s progress.
Our school had twice a year conferences at the elementary level and once a year very short conferences at the MS/HS grades. I always went and felt it was very useful for me to have a face/voice in my head when my kids talked about their teachers at home. I did get a number of thoughtful/helpful comments from teachers through the years. And a couple of times the conferences helped me to understand why my kids didn’t care for a particular teacher!!
No parent- teacher conferences after elementary school. There was a once a year open house in middle and I school where you went to each classroom for about 15 minutes, but there was no opportunity to discuss an individual student.
No parent-teacher conferences at our school unless student is receiving a D or F. We have found virtually all the teachers have been very respectful of my D’s request to meet with her one-on-one… Those that haven’t would probably blow the parents off also.
During the conferences, I wonder if you picked up signals or focused on something that turned out to be important in later grades or even in college and beyond. Obviously this applies to parents with older student(s) also.
@eiholi I dd get a few comments that were useful to me…here are a couple…
–My S was always a quiet boy – not the sports guy. His first grade teacher made a kind of offhand comment that he was too mature for many boys his age – she said that when she made a sarcastic comment he would be the only one in the class to get it. She went on to tell me that she thought he would get happier and happier (not that he was unhappy then) as he got older – and she was right!!! It didn’t change anything, but it made me aware of something I hadn’t recognized in my S (who is my oldest) and I found her insight interesting.
–My S had visual/spacial issues and a middle school math teacher mentioned that geometry would be very tough for him. As a result I lined up a geometry tutor right away for the year he had that subject in HS - - and boy did he need it.
–One of my D’s early teachers noted that she is such an easy kid – doing what she was supposed to academically, socially etc. but never standing out. She felt in years to come that I needed to be sure that teachers gave her the proper attention to be sure she wasn’t just skating by. And that was sound advice that I followed through on.
–And there was one teacher my D complained about vehemently in HS (she complained about 2 teachers in her entire K-12 career). When I met this teacher at the conference it was clear she was nasty and that she really didn’t like my D for some reason. After the conference I allowed my D to switch to from the high honors to the advanced level language class so she could get a different teacher. I never thought I would allow that but her disdain was just so clear at the meeting.
D went to a small 6 - 12 school with PTS conferences in fall and in the spring. Students would do a short presentation on what they’d been doing, with examples of their work, and teachers would circulate around the room to add observations. We never missed one. They were spread out over daytime and evenings through 3 or 4 days so that even busy parents or those with 2 jobs, etc. could still find a time to attend. We found them very useful, although I don’t recall every learning anything I didn’t already know about my D.
My kids went to a K-8 and we had conferences once a year in Nov. In HS there were no regularly scheduled conferences only a back to school night (fall) and an open house (spring). A conference could be schedule if a parent or teacher wanted it. I never felt the need for it.
We were not looking for hidden “signals” during conferences. It was simply a time to meet the teachers briefly and talk about the class and our kid.
Do you think there is some high sign, or special wink folks should be looking for?
Why not just go…and talk about THIS class, and your kid?
ETA… when we wanted to talk future planning…we made a special time to meet the teacher we wanted to talk to. For example, our son is a musician…so we met with his ensemble directors a couple of times for info. This was NOT during regular teacher conferences.
2 kids and 2 different high schools and 2 different philosophies on P/T Conferences.
First child - twice / year. Parents invited to come and meet with all 5 or 6 teachers together. Each shared their thoughts on the student. We had written report cards already that we could review. This child is a good student and a teacher’s dream - homework always done, good grades, participation through the roof, etc. I LOVED the P/T Conference done this way. If nothing else, it was a pat on the back for a job well done. It was also a great way to connect with the teachers.
Second child - offered twice / year. However, nowhere near the number of sign up slots as there are students. The sign ups go up and, within 30 mins, all times are taken. They are NOT encouraged for students doing well. I hate it. In almost 4 years, I’ve never gotten to know any of the teachers. I never hear about my child’s participation in class, behavior or what improvements could be made. The school’s attitude is “We’ve got this.” I had to learn to accept it.
None, unless there are issues with grades (with S in HS now, never with the girls), except for back to school night when we got to meet all the teachers and see what the class specifics were.
@thumper1, I didn’t mean to look for some hidden signals. Examples shared by @happy1 are helpful. @Erin’s Dad, grades are important, but some other things teachers may see that I don’t, as hinted by @phoenixmomof2.
I’m with Thumper on this. No hidden signals. I know my kids and can forecast what the teachers will say. Certainly by the time HS rolls around. And now we have ProgressBook or its equivalent for weekly electronic updates from teachers if need be.
In public middle and high school parents all waited in lines in the cafeteria to sit with each teacher and have a short conversation. It wasn’t possible to meet with each teacher, so we would pick the highlights (favorite teachers or teachers of classes in which the grades weren’t as good). A lot of parents would not go, but these were fairly social events and it was fun to see the other parents there.
In private middle school we sign up for a 10 minute slot online in the fall and spring. We try to sign up with each teacher once a year (not twice). Unlike with the public school set up, the teachers know in advance who is coming so they have the student’s file sitting out ready to share progress reports and examples of work. The private high school works the same way. The principal suggests that we don’t need to schedule a meeting with each teacher because there are not enough slots for that. Also there are emails about how divorced parents are discouraged from each setting up a series of separate appointments because there are not enough slots for that either.
I did not go to parent teacher conferences after 8th grade. With #1 or #2 there were a couple instances where I wanted insight from a teacher and I simply addressed the question via e-mail. With #3 there were mandatory IEP meetings so no need. The high school did make parent-teacher conferences available at least once a year and any parent that wanted to talk to a high school teacher could sign up for a time slot but with the advent of the on-line services, there’s no real need generally to go and meet with a teacher one-on-one and if there is a need I can’t imagine a teacher wouldn’t accommodate a parent. I do think elementary school and early middle school conferences are helpful to gain insight to how your young child is developing socially and in my case, it was a very astute first grade teacher who determined there was something not quite right about #3 and she was correct, he is dyslexic. My mother, a retired teacher, noticed something off, but it was the first grade teacher that pushed me into having him tested during a conference.
Private schools, conferences offered in fall all through high school. Did attend, even though kids were high achievers. Especially with S, who is very quiet, it was refreshing to hear the teachers talk about how he was respected by peers and seen as a leader (the old “when EF Hutton talks, people listen” type deal). One teacher especially, a former engineer, was very helpful in talking with S about college major choices, and kept us in the loop. Probably would have happened even without conferences, but I felt if the teachers were taking the time to be available, I would also take the time.
Our high school offers parent teacher conferences if you want them - you have to schedule them with individual teachers. I never felt the need to go to any after the mandatory middle school ones. Our school has a “meet the teacher” night in the beginning of the year that I do not miss, since the teachers go over the syllabus and provide contact information.
I do, however, keep in contact with teachers either directly or through my daughter. I’ve found teachers are pretty receptive to general questions or pointed concerns.
My kids did well in school, so after elementary school the public school really only had them for kids who had issues We did live abroad for 3 years and the kids went to a private internatioanl school. There they had all the teachers in teh gym and you could walk around and talk to them. I did that even though they were doing well.