Activities for young children with curious and active minds – zoos, museums of things – natural history, geology, gems – anything. Lots of universities have small collections of rocks, birds etc. For a small child, that can be plenty engaging, it doesn’t have to be spending the full day at Natural History in NY!
Wood puzzles are great for physical dexterity and memory. Also, books like Richard Scarry, where there is so much happening on the illustrated pages. Get library books to explore new subjects to see what sparks his interest – tools? dinosaurs? birds? fish? trucks? (just some of my kid’s phases). Also, books with simple but engaging plots and illustrations – Percy the Park Keeper was a British series we read (and loved).
If you live in more temperate climate and can be outside this time of year-- spend time watching construction sites, train stations, fire stations. Talk about what is happening. Ask questions about what they see. Kinder musik type classes are great for being active, developing musical awareness (though if masking is not working right now, that would presumably have to wait).
My son attended Montessori 4th -8th grade and it was the best thing we ever did. Not only did it give him time and space to intensely study subjects that were of interest to him, but it also provided so many more opportunities for socialization than a public school. Often people get so focused on a gifted child’s academics that they forget that socialization is important, too.
Montessori completely shaped how he thinks about himself as both a learner and a citizen of the world.
That is one cute child. Makes me sort of miss my daughter’s toddler years. Sort of.
We worked with signing with our daughter, since it was a short cut through both the development of the speech apparatus, and having a bilingual home. We didn’t really use any formal signage, just let her develop her own, or what developed in our interactions. It was fascinating to see her build “sentences” which were a mix of signs and words.
We actually started a journal in which we described her development, because:
A. When we asked our mothers for advice, they couldn’t remember anything, so now we have a written record for our daughter, and
B. We’re both academics and HUGE geeks.
I recognize all of the behaviors you’re describing. Everything you describe indicates to me that your boy is gifted, and moreso.
I absolutely agree with you on socializing kids, even, or especially, gifted kids.
Interestingly, we had a bad experience at our local Montessori daycare and were totally put off by it. That particular school seemed so committed to their “curriculum” that it actually was pretty rigid in what they decided that the kids would be exploring that day or week. We felt that it was especially limiting for kids like our daughter.
I know that “Montessori” is a very general philosophy and schools differ, but that was the one in our area. I have heard other parents who had a similar experience at that school.
To be fair, from what I have heard from other parents who sent their kids to other Montessori schools, the one in our district seems not to be typical.
On the other hand, our university had an excellent daycare, and the school district is both excellent, and has really good gifted services, especially our elementary school. They had gifted programs for our daughter from kindergarten, and the gifted resource teacher was perfect for our daughter. Because the district is pretty progressive, the education reflected that, from curriculum to activities, so that was a plus, as well.
So we were lucky in having an excellent public option.
Our district also had a “Children’s School” which was the sort of thing that pops up is middle class progressive areas. It ran on a more progressive philosophy. However, it only went to 5th grade, and its graduates didn’t seem any worse in middle school tan any other kids, so it worked for them
Re: screening. We screened our daughter at 4 because we wanted to start her at kindergarten a year early. The school district is very reluctant to skip kids, so we had to have her evaluated by a child psychologist, and the district also tested her. So, to start kindergarten early, she had to demonstrate that she could read at a mid first-grade level, do math at a first grade level, and be able to demonstrate that she was physically at kindergarten level. All that on top of her testing in the HG/PG range.
At this point, though, @romanigypsyeyes, I don’t know that it would be worth your while to screen. First, kids at the age are notoriously moody, and your son can just be in A Mood, and be contrary. Second, it costs a lot of money for a good screening, and, until you are in need of an official opinion, it can wait.
In the meantime, I would say that you should behave under the assumption that your boy is gifted.
Find a good gifted kids parent group. Beware, though, of the parents who behave as though their kid’s giftedness was a “burden”. These people tend to be common among gifted groups, and tend to be toxic. Everybody complains about their kids, and gifted kids can get into even more trouble that their peers, so a normal amount of kvetching is to be expected, and parents of gifted kids tend to be particularly verbal.
However, when a person behaves as though their kid’s giftedness is a personal tragedy, set phasers to “Avoid”.
I will say more one thing - I will add my voice to those who say to make sure that he is in some physical activity. I have seen too many parents of gifted kids who believe that gifted kids are unable to do well in physical activities, and that they do not need physical activities. Whether it’s team sports, individual sports, or dancing, it will help a lot, mentally, health-wise, and socially.
Dance is actually a very good activity, since it is social, requires strength, stamina, focus, and control, and he can do it in his room when the weather is bad.
I think that you have enough advice for the next year or so, and it’s (almost) all good.
You have gotten a lot of great advice here. Mine is to be careful not to praise your child for being smart or clever. Of course he is! But he should be encouraged to do things for the joy in them and the satisfaction in doing them. You want to encourage a growth mindset so that he won’t be discouraged by challenges when they occur. Plenty of people around him will be validating his mind – you need to be the one encouraging him for the fun of it. Even very smart kids will get it wrong sometimes – you don’t want these moments to cause doubt or be ones he avoids.
You seem to have found great ways to use screen time to provide things that aren’t available elsewhere. Great idea! A friend noted that Alexa was far more patient counting by 2s to a hundred with her child while she was getting ready for work. Smart use of tech! But do limit the screen time. You want to be sure that your child has more open-ended outcomes and can develop all those other motor skills. Legos, snap circuits, paint, blocks, crayons, piano, hikes, pets.
And of course, socialization. Preschool may not be an issue as this is what it’s about. But every kid I knew who won a Westinghouse at 14 or was out of sync with peers suffered socially. It makes sense, of course. Their interests weren’t the same as their peers and for many, they were in classes with kids 4 years older than they. But that only made the need to develop those skills more important. Know what’s age appropriate and find ways to encourage that. This has to be one of the biggest challenges of covid.
Love and enjoy that cutie! These sometimes long days are such short years.
@compmom I think you need to clarify your point about premature reading. For kids like the OP’s or my oldest, the early reading was self-generated. They were not “taught” to read - they just picked it up by being read to and by looking at the same books over and over again. My guess is that my son memorized the words I read to him and then recognized them in the books. He was never good at sounding out words, because he had such a wide range of words he knew by sight. In spelling, he either knew how to spell it or his guesses would miss the mark by a lot.
Teaching kids to read before they are ready is different and can be harmful in some cases. In contrast to my oldest, my youngest did not learn to read early (or at least did not let us or his teachers know he could read), but once he got it he was above grade level in a few weeks and then tested into the GT program.
It was the same for my D. She absolutely taught herself. And her spelling was atrocious too but she was taught to spell phonetically in school which was a hoot. In kindergarten she wrote a story about wanting her dad to buy a new car and spelled convertible “konvertibl”
As others have said, keep doing what you are doing. Interesting outings, books that cater to his interests as he gets older, and lots of non-book, non-screen activities. Outside play and interactions with others.
I am not sure how much the timing of allowing screens matters. My oldest is old enough that screens were not much of a thing in his childhood. Occasional educational computer games (Anyone remember Reader Rabbit or Logical Journey of the Zoombinis?). Later we had a game console, but still remember my brother-in-law asking why we were depriving our kids of video games. No TVs or internet availability in their rooms.
While we still limited video games, my younger kids had more access and the youngest had a smart phone and wifi access in late high school home. But my oldest is the most screen-addicted, partly due to anxiety but also just him.
To me, the most negative thing about screens is less reading. This is even true for me. I tend to now do the NYT Spelling Bee when i wake up early, rather than reading. Still read a lot, just not as much.
I am curious to know what he is doing with his knowledge of numbers. Is he labeling numbers that he sees on an iPad? Does he bring to your attention the numbers on the microwave? Does he do number puzzles and name the numbers for daddy as he’s putting the puzzle together? Is he collecting blocks and giving 6 to mommy for her tower, 8 to daddy for his tower, 10 for me etc and then shouting “We have 24 blocks!” “I have the most blocks” etc
Does he enjoy having discussions about the books he is reading? Will he sit on the couch with mommy, read with/to her, and discuss stories? Problem solve?
I would encourage his interests, exploration etc but also foster the social (I am sure you are) use of skills.
If you read all my posts, I did clarify. Of course self-generated is wonderful, as I said. I was initially making the point that there is variation in how giftedness is manifested and there may even be paradoxical aspects. (I thought it was interesting when I read that some gifted kids read later, and that is what happened with mine.) This thread is an opportunity for many to input a variety of experiences. If many people on this thread were able to identify giftedness at age 2, that is helpful to the OP.
ps “Premature” is different from “early”… to me “premature” means before being (naturally) ready…and that is happening with early academics in preschools, for instance, for some kids- presumably not in a home like the OP’s.
I think shows like Sesame Street created a lot of very young children who knew words, numbers and colors and no doubt some were gifted and many were not. Again, different situation because the OP is an insightful parent with knowledge of development.
We toured a Montessori preschool with my kid. He picked up a bunch of “building blocks” from 4 different sets of materials and started building a rocket ship. We opted for a Waldorf style preschool (loosely based, plenty of black crayons). Still child led but less rules.
But 4th - 8th grade? Montessori might have been a lovely option.
Numbers, numbers everywhere! He will find numbers wherever they are and yell them out. Microwave? Carbon monoxide detector? Thermostat? Addresses? You name it and he will find it! Kid has number radar.
You can ask him how many of something and he’ll tell you without counting out loud. He will bring you some number of things if you ask but won’t tell you without prompting. He’ll also bring you x number of things if you ask him for it.
He likes to make his own numbers (like putting together single digit tiles) and tell you what it says in both English and Spanish. He also likes counting down and up - he can count backwards from about 20.
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Re: reading. We absolutely did not teach him. I found out entirely on accident that he could read words. We were watching something on mute and the word “bingo” came up and he yelled it out. After that, I just kind of experimented with words to see what he knew. When he realized we could write on the tablet, he demanded new sentences.
He’s also taught himself to “spell.” Like I said earlier, he’ll put together letters for words even if he doesn’t have it entirely correct. (Yesterday he did B+11 for ball, G+Q for “go” - though he tried to hide the little tail on the q lol, hap+e for “happy”)
As for comprehension and discussion - he’s not there yet. I honestly don’t know how much of a story he gets which is why I keep putting “reading” in quotes. He knows the words and what they mean but I don’t think he knows putting it together to make an actual story.
When my daughter was about 5, she developed a habit of reading numbers backward. She’s see a house number and read 3481 as 1843, a phone number for a realtor on a bus bench as 5432-234. I chose to consider it a funny quirk rather than as a serious problem, and it did indeed go away. Never figured it out.
The little boy I was a nanny to would sit in front of the microwave every day just before 6 to see the numbers turn to 555 because he was 5 and was sure it was his lucky time of the day.
I’d let Ren be Mr. Numbers and get him some dice so he can roll different numbers all the time. Maybe he’ll be the Yahtzee champ!
That is very typical for 2E (twice exceptional - gifted + learning issues, like ADHD) kids, which you definitely are. I hope that you are now controlling for your ADHD - I know that my daughter has been doing much better after having it identified.
My daughter also only had her ADHD identified at 19, because she was smart enough that nobody thought it was an issue, even her. Inattentive ADHD is indeed difficult to identify in younger people, since many of the aspects are also obscured by puberty, comorbid issues like anxiety, etc.
In fact, much of what you describe sounds really familiar (from a parent’s PoV, of course), and, like the OP’s son - yes, you are gifted. You may not think of yourself as a “super genius”, but you are clearly an extremely bright person, so don’t sell yourself short.
Good luck, and I predict that you will do very well in life.
. Mr R said he’s including him in campaigns as soon as he can sit still for more than 5 minutes