Parents are able to help pay but are not willing to?

<p>My family is upper-middle class. They have not helped pay for the education of any of my older siblings (though they went to school in the 90s, so it was cheaper), and my parents themselves do not have 4-year degrees. They aren't mad at me and we have a good relationship, but they simply are not willing to help pay at all, no matter where I go. I have a twin sister who will be attending college at the same time as me. What should my sister and I do? I am in the top 35% of my class and she is in the top 20%. I'm hesitant to consider loans because of all of the horror stories out there, but I honestly don't know what to do. I doubt my sister or myself will get much financial aid, so pretty much all we have going for us right now is hopes of getting scholarships. Any advice? Thank you.</p>

<p>See <a href=“Links to Popular Threads on Scholarships and Lower-Cost Colleges - Financial Aid and Scholarships - College Confidential Forums”>Links to Popular Threads on Scholarships and Lower-Cost Colleges - Financial Aid and Scholarships - College Confidential Forums;

<p>See the thread linked in reply #1.</p>

<p>Realistically, you need a net price of under about $10,000 after grants and scholarships. $10,000 per year is about the limit of what a college student can reasonably expect to self-fund, using a $5,500 federal direct loan and some work earnings. It is generally not advised to take more loans than the federal direct loans. Obviously, a lower net price is better, since $10,000 would be a stretch budget.</p>

<p>What are your stats? what are your sister’s stats? </p>

<p>You can only borrow $5500, so unless your parents co-sign loans (not likely) you can’t borrow any more. </p>

<p>What state do you live in? What colleges are nearby?</p>

<p>What is your major and career goal?</p>

<p>Frankly, if your parents will let you commute from home, then that is like a $10k per year contribution, so that may need to be your option. </p>

<p>A lot of kids in your situation go to local state schools. Or start out at community college. They cost little enough that summer and part time work can pay for the expenses and you can borrow enough ($5500 freshman year) to cover a lot of the costs Most people do not get to go away for college. They stay at home, find a job and get their degree part time.</p>

<p>If your test scores and grades are high enough, some school will give you scholarships. You can see what’s out there for that. But getting enough money to pay full freight at a college is rare.Most kids who go away to school have parents footing that bill.</p>

<p>The below two listed schools not only have a low COA, but they also give merit scholarships. So, depending on your and your sib’s scores, you might be able to bring the cost down to a reasonable amount.</p>

<p>I would suggest that you two try to find one school that works for both of you. At some point, you two could share a cheap apt to further saving costs. </p>

<p>Also, your parents would be more likely provide for transportation (getting you two back and forth and home for Christmas) if you are at the same school. The would also be more likely be willing to help set up an apt if both of you are in the same one.</p>

<p>Your older siblings must be a LOT older than you if they went to college in the 90s! Hopefully, at some point, your parents will realize that things are different now and they will at least help out a little bit. </p>

<p>Tell us more…answer the questions in post #3</p>

<p>Also…do you know about how much your family earns? Are they retired? (I’m assuming that they’re older because your siblings are in/near their 40s.) </p>

<p>The reason I’m asking is hopefully their income still qualifies for the Tuition Tax Credit. If so, ask your parents if YOU and YOUR sibling can have THAT money. </p>

<p>=======================</p>

<p>The University of Maine at Fort Kent and the University of Maine at Presque Isle
today unveiled a new tuition structure for out-of-state and international students that offers competitive pricing in those markets and also acts as a catalyst for economic development in Aroostook County.</p>

<p>For those students, that means their tuition would see a 40% reduction from $16,560 a year to $9,900 a year. Local economic development leaders are welcoming the rate change and what it means for the area.</p>

<p>OOS Tuition $9900 per year (and there are some lenient merit offers that could further reduce)
COA $20,592</p>

<p>(full-time) 24-36 credits $9,900
Fees 2 $975
Health Insurance 3 $997
Books & Supplies 4 $1,000
Subtotal: $12,872
Residence Hall Room 5 $4,150
Board (19-Meal Plan) 6 $3,570
COA…$20,592</p>

<p>i would think that with some careful book purchasing/renting and family-provided health insurance, that the COA could even be less.</p>

<p>



University of Maine Fort Kent Scholarships!</p>

<p>2014-2015 Scholarships for First Year Students (12 or less college credits)</p>

<p>Scholarship Name    Eligibility Requirements    Amount
Bengal Gold  2 out of 3: If SAT score is 1050+ (23+ ACT), class rank is 
top 30% or High School GPA of 3.00-4.00 $5,000.00</p>

<p>Bengal Silver    2 out of 3: If SAT score is 950-1040 (20-22 ACT), class rank is top 50% or High School GPA of 2.80-2.99    $3,500.00</p>

<p>Bengal Bronze    2 out of 3: If SAT score is 850-940 (17-19 ACT), class rank is top 50% or High School GPA of 2.60-2.79 $2,500.00</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Hopefully, you and twin have the GPA for the $5k scholarship at University of Maine Ft Kent. Hopefully, you also have the test scores. </p>

<p><a href=“http://umfk.edu/”>http://umfk.edu/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>When I look at the R&B costs ($15k for 2 kids), I’m thinking that if you and twin had to, you could share a 1 BR apt right off-campus, you might be able to save there. I know it’s not ideal, but if could be an option if absolutely necessary. I don’t know if this school requires frosh to live on campus or not. If so, then this could be an option for later years. </p>

<p>=============================</p>

<p>University of Maine Presque Isle Scholarships</p>

<p>



Out-of-State Merit Awards</p>

<p>$5000 Merit Award (EDGE Blue)
Students must:
1) Score 1100+ on the SAT between Critical Reading & Math (24 ACT)
2) Be in the top 25% of class rank with a high school GPA of 3.0.</p>

<p>$2500 Merit Award (EDGE Gold)
Students must:
1) Score 900+ on the SAT between Critical Reading & Math (19 ACT)
2) Be in the top 50% of class rank or have a high school GPA of 2.75.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Looks like the class rank will be a problem for you at this school. Are you sure that’s your rank?</p>

<p>===============================
Getting back to the parents:</p>

<p>I’m wondering if you and twin came up with some good funding from scholarships and $5500 student loans, and you had most of your costs covered, your parents might be willing to at least pay for your food costs. They may have the “we’re not paying for college” attitude because they fear that sending 2 at a time will cost them $30k+ per year…and they may be trying to fund their retirements. If you two could find funding that leaves only a couple thousand uncovered for each twin, then maybe they will help out. They would be feeding you anyway if you lived at home.</p>

<p>Will they let you live at home while you attend college? Will they continue to pay for things like car insurance, health insurance, phone bill, ect. Will they be charging you for anything if you stay home? That is a conversation to have. It would help for you to really know what you are looking at.</p>

<p>Student loans are not ideal but the horror stories tend to be with families who take out enormous private loans or co-sign for their kids private loans. The kids we know who took out only their federal direct loans (which are capped) are doing fine. Many were able to start paying them off while still in school. Does it add some stress to life? Sure. So does pouring through the want ads and everything with a livable wage requires a college degree. Some things you have to do… most people would take out a reasonable loan to buy a car. Paying for a college education is certainly as valuable as a car (though I don’t want you to think it’s college or nothing… there are other options like trade school… becoming a pharmacy tech, mechanic, hair stylist, ect… though that education isn’t free either.) </p>

<p>In your situation, if you can stay at home, community college or commuting to a public university would be key. Price out both options. Even community colleges have net price calculators. They can also have scholarships not tied to financial need. We do know several kids able to fund community college on their own and then only take out minimal loans when they transfer to a local state school for the last 2 years.</p>

<p>Hang in there. It has to be a scary prospect but you and your sister will get through!</p>

<p>My parents are not retired yet, but they will be soon. </p>

<p>I have a 3.5 GPA and my sister has a 3.8 or 3.9. </p>

<p>We live in Michigan, I want to go to either MSU, CMU, or WSU, and she wants to go to Ferris. </p>

<p>I plan to major in Journalism, and I’d like to work for a magazine and eventually start my own.</p>

<p>I don’t know how to convince my parents to at least help with a small amount of it, I really don’t think they understand how much the price of college has changed since my siblings went to school, and when I try to talk about it with them, they get angry. I’m feeling really hopeless.</p>

<p>Also, I have received an offer of 4,500 a year from Central Michigan, and 2,500 a year from Wayne State in scholarship money so far.</p>

<p>Can you tell us your TEST scores? Your GPA isn’t telling us much. Merit mostly depends on test scores…include ACT and SAT (M+CR).</p>

<p>@risala247‌ </p>

<br>

<br>

<p>Both of you are likely going to have to change/expand your school lists because unless you have very high test scores, none of those may be affordable.</p>

<p>You can’t yet focus on any particular schools when you have no clue as to how they will get funded. Those schools cost about $25-30k per year for instate student. At this point, you have NO MONEY</p>

<p>You would need large merit awards for those schools to be affordable because their instate tuition rates are high. </p>

<p>Magazines are DYING…you need to expand your career goals.</p>

<p>Seriously, your twin and you should focus on the SAME schools.</p>

<br>

<br>

<p>Can you provide some examples of what EXACTLY you’ve been saying to them?</p>

<p>Have you told them how much college costs these days? If so, then why do you say that they don’t know that the costs have changed???</p>

<p>I suspect that the conversations have scared your parents into thinking that you two expect/want them to pay a good amount per twin. For a couple nearing retirement, that can be scary (hence the anger) if they haven’t adequately funded their retirements.</p>

<p>I really think that if you and sis find ONE school that will give you a LOT of merit, you take out a student loan, you work part-time during the school year, and full time during the summer, and you’re both living together in a cheap/safe/near-the-campus apt, they may help you with some things…furnishing the apt, stocking the apt, some food costs, whatever. </p>

<p>I have a 25 on the ACT. Well, I try to start conversations with them about it, and they just shut me out, and if I try to continue they get frustrated with me. I don’t want them to pay a huge amount or anything, but any amount, whether it’s part of tuition or whatever, would be really helpful no matter how small. I don’t know how to go about having a conversation where they’ll actually let me voice my concerns.</p>

<p>Also, I know college was cheaper in the 90s, but my older sister went to Michigan State all four years and lived on campus for a few of them before getting an apartment, and I think she got a lot of loans. She has all of her loans paid off now. Are there any places I should look for loans?</p>

<p>You should only look at direct loans that come from the government. You’ll only be allowed to take out 5500 the first year. Any private loans will have to be co-signed by your parents and really, not a good idea. When I said loans may be a reasonable reality for you, I only meant direct loans… not private loans. To get direct loans you have to fill out the Fafsa with your parents. They’ll need to provide tax returns and information.</p>

<p>As for your parents, I think you need to approach them for brainstorming help on financing this independently… not asking for any sort of funding period. It doesn’t sound like they have anything to offer you and you’ll be best served assuming you are totally on your own. If they change their mind, they’ll let you know. Talking to your older siblings could be helpful to. Find out exactly how they financed things. </p>

<p>You didn’t say whether they will allow you to stay at home and what, if any expenses will be waived while you are there. Have they ever talked to you about this? Is the expectation for you to be out of the house? Will you be expected to pay rent?</p>

<p>I recommend getting a part-time job ASAP. Every penny helps.</p>

<p>…>>
Also, I know college was cheaper in the 90s, but my older sister went to Michigan State all four years and lived on campus for a few of them before getting an apartment, and I think she got a lot of loans. She has all of her loans paid off now. Are there any places I should look for loans?</p>

<br>

<br>

<p>There was a time when students could borrow all they wanted for college without parent co-signers. Those days are long gone. Costs are too high, loans would be too high, and too many kids couldn’t pay those loans back. </p>

<p>Now, kids can only borrow a small amount by themselves. $5500 for freshman year. To borrow more (which isn’t advised), would require your parents to co-sign. I highly doubt your parents will do that since most parents will not because it’s a bad idea.</p>

<p>There’s no place to look for other loans for you to sign by yourself.</p>

<p>MSU costs at least $25k-30k per year. No one is going to lend you $100k for college. Besides that is WAY TOO MUCH debt. You’d never be able to pay it back. </p>

<p>Since no one is going to lend to you and your sister, other than the $5500 federal student loans, you need to find OTHER schools. </p>

<p>I know it’s tough when you have your hearts set on certain schools, but now you know that you can’t borrow to attend those schools. </p>

<br>

<br>

<p>I have a 25 on the ACT.
<<<<</p>

<p>So, in the first school’s scholarships I listed, you would get a $5k per year award…which is about a half-tuition award.</p>

<p>Hopefully others here can mention others </p>

<br>

<br>

<p>If your parents have children that went to college in the 90s, then they have been raising children for a VERY long time. Again, they are near retiring and likely can not even bear the thought of paying for college. </p>

<p>It’s a good think you and your twin are learning about this now, so you have time to find more affordable options. I know it’s upsetting, but you have to deal with your situation. If you really want to go to college, then now’s the time to find ones that will work.</p>

<p><a href=“http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/”>http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/&lt;/a&gt; includes only a few schools where a 3.5 HS GPA and 25 ACT would get a big scholarship*, but that still leaves a residual cost of around $9,000 to $10,000 (plus travel), which would be just barely within the range of a student being able to self-fund with federal direct loan and some work earnings.</p>

<p>*Alabama State, Arkansas - Monticello, Prairie View A&M</p>

<p>My advice to you is to fill out the applications of the schools you want, go on and look for some other options that may be affordable to you without your parent’s money. Your option may well be commuting from home to communut college if your parents won’t pay out anything and you don’t find any schools that are affordable without their money. But when it’s all on the table, all the options, perhaps they will come up with something. But then again, they may not and that is up to them.</p>

<p><a href=“Lake Superior State institutes flat tuition rate”>http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/story/news/local/campus/2014/09/20/lake-superior-state-institutes-flat-tuition-rate/15982067/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Look around. See what other schools there are out there that you can make work.</p>

<p>do your older sibs have any advice?</p>