<p>If there’s any 529 money left over, of course we’ll let them have it for grad school. If not, we’ll help their finances in other ways…rent or insurance, for example.</p>
<p>If your D’s grades and behavior are not up to par, I would not pay for any grad school. Our decision has always been fluid. We helped our D pay for her living expenses at her MBA program, but she was overspending, so we refused to pay for her 2nd year and she took out loans to cover tuition and living expenses.</p>
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<p>This is our situation also. </p>
<p>I also agree with another poster that sub par grades are not going to get a kid into graduate school right out of UG, so maybe this worry will never materialize. Working for a few years, figuring out what she wants to do, taking classes at the local CC or college and basically rehabilitating her admission profile could make graduate school a possibility in the future though.</p>
<p>Good point ellemenope. We have not paid for D’s grad school and it never was an option. Our reasoning was that if she did not have what it takes to score enough fellowship money, than she shouldn’t even be going to grad school at all. She understood this from the start of her undergrad career.</p>
<p>I’d just like to point out that not all grad programs are funded- msw, most masters, etc. Even some phd programs in my field-school psych- at very good universities don’t offer full funding. Funding was really important to me and I was lucky enough to get into a fully funded program, so my parents shouldn’t be paying for much other than my cell phone. I went to a cheap undergrad but I don’t think that really made a difference in my family
Willingness to pay for grad school.</p>
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I wish I could say the same, but tuition to attend a UC law school was slightly over $700 per year when my ex-husband and I went through at our parents’ expense. I was prepared to pay my own way – I could easily have written a check to cover all 3 years from my personal savings — but my parents insisted on paying, and I essentially agreed to take the money to let them feel good. </p>
<p>Resident tuition for the UC law schools is now well above $40K per year ($44K at my alma mater). There is no way that I could fund that for my kids – and it simply isn’t in any way equivalent to what my parents did for me financially. </p>
<p>Even the undergraduate education that I funded for my kids was much more of a financial stretch for me than it was for my parents to fund the equivalent. I would like to say that I will do for my kids what they did for me – but times have changed, and in this respect, not for the better.</p>
<p>Would be willing to pay for grad/professional school but in son’s field stipends are given if the grad school wants the student- ie we won’t pay if he’s not good enough to get the funding. Need to differentiate between professional schools that usually don’t offer funding, business schools where students often work first then apply to, some masters programs that don’t fund and those where funding is the norm. I certainly would not be willing to fund grad school for a child who didn’t apply him/herself as an undergrad regardless of my financial ability to do so.</p>
<p>One regret I have is that my mother died before I could share the wealth my education generated. Parents deserve to enjoy the “fruits of their labor” while they have the time and health to enjoy them. They should not feel obligated to continue scrimping and denying themselves life’s pleasures forever. </p>
<p>calmom has good points. Helping the next generation in lieu of paying back parents is a great concept. I agree that the vast differences in costs from generation to generation mean one can’t always afford to do for children what parents did for you.</p>
<p>This is not a criticism but rather a sincere question for those who were willing to pay full undergrad but no grad school.</p>
<p>If your child was willing to get a BA for far less than you had budgeted, why not give them the money for grad school? It would cost you the same amount of money but your child would wind up with two degrees instead of one. </p>
<p>Or at least why not give your child that option? As has been noted, grad school is far more expensive than it used to be and more careers require it.</p>
<p>So many kids say they have no interest in grad school but then find out that they need it. Which isn’t to say that parents must contribute to grad school, I suspect most of us got no help in that area but, again, if it’s the same amount of money from you why not give your child that option?</p>
<p>I don’t know if you’re going to get any answers but the rationale that I’ve seen in the past is that parents are responsible for an undergraduate degree and that’s what they budget for. Some budget a fixed amount and some budget the degree.</p>
<p>Interesting, BCEagle91. Thank you for sharing that.</p>
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I don’t know who that question is meant for, but my kids’ undergrad educations cost far more than I had ever anticipated. I remember thinking as my kids grew up that I might need $12K a year to pay for their college. I had to borrow, the kids had to borrow – and that was on top of financial aid. </p>
<p>In an ideal world, I would have had the money socked away in a 529 account and it would have been theirs to budget as they saw fit. I did in fact have some savings bonds that were intended for my son’s college – and because ended up finishing at a less expensive public, he never needed me to cash them in – and they are still sitting there, accruing interest. (They are in my name, but he is the designated beneficiary). If and when he wants that money – for any reason - all he has to do is ask – but there’s not enough to get him beyond a single semester of law school at the rates I mentioned above. </p>
<p>When I was in college my parents were paying roughly $3500 year to cover both tuition and housing – and I was incredibly grateful at the time. That included out-of-state tuition for a state school, and I did everything I could to establish in-state residency so as to save them the +$1500 or so that was tacked on to the base tuition for out-of-staters. I realize that 1970 dollars are not the same as 2010 dollars - but that parental subsidy would still come out to under $20K by today’s standards. See [CPI</a> Inflation Calculator](<a href=“http://data.bls.gov/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl]CPI”>http://data.bls.gov/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl)</p>
<p>It’s not even a matter of planning – even if I had anticipated what my son’s tuition might cost in 2001 (when he started college) – I certainly never had the type of income that would have allowed me to save enough to finance 4 years of undergrad for both my kids, let alone grad school. </p>
<p>I don’t think I’m shortchanging my kids – there are other things they have had that I would never have dreamed of as a child, such the ability to travel and live abroad. </p>
<p>I’ve just done the best I can for them, in today’s world.</p>
<p>Our three kids know we will pay for each of them to go to undergrad school for four years. Period. That’s what my parents told me, so I worked hard as an undergraduate and got a full fellowship to grad school. I was definitely more motivated knowing it was up to me to come up with the funding!</p>
<p>We are planning on paying for my D graduate school, she is planning on becoming a veterinarian. Since she can’t become a vet any other way, we will pay, same as if she or her brother had wanted to be a lawyer. But, if the grades/behavior are not there, we wouldn’t pay for grad school for either of them. Both the kids are looking at school costs around 25K year to attend, tuition and room and board. They will have to work hard to get that. They can go to a more expensive place if they get scholarships/grants to supplement what we’ll pay.</p>
<p>We are paying the tuition for grad school - S is responsible for living costs (rent, food, gas for his car, electric bill). Seemed like a compromise. S is going for a combined law and MBA program so no scholarships and they indicate it’s not a good idea to work at least for the first year. He starts in 3 weeks so we have no idea what the load will really be. Once D gets to the point of grad school we’ll see. She is interested in bio and there are typically grants/stipends that can be received. Different kid - different needs</p>
<p>This is a subject of intense disagreement between my husband and me.</p>
<p>We have a son in graduate school now and a daughter who has graduate school plans, although not immediately after she receives her bachelor’s degree.</p>
<p>My husband insists that we must not contribute a dime. This means that our son, who has an assistantship but is attending a university located in an inordinately expensive community, is hurting financially, and that our daughter, who is interested in a type of program that does not provide assistantships, will have to go into huge debt, even though we could easily afford to help both of them with loans that simply would be deducted from their inheritance if they didn’t pay them back.</p>
<p>My husband’s theory is that parents should pay for undergrad but cut kids off when they get their bachelor’s degree. Anything else, in his mind, delays their transition to adulthood.</p>
<p>I disagree emphatically. Different careers require different types of preparation, and I don’t see why either of our kids should be penalized for their career choices, given that we have the money. But unfortunately, I have little say on how our money is spent (a side effect of me being the parent with the lower income because I put work second and family first during the years when our kids were growing up).</p>
<p>Until this disagreement emerged, I didn’t regret my choice to put my career on the back burner in favor of parenting. In all other ways, it turned out to be a good choice for our family. But now, sometimes I wish we had done things differently so that I would have more say here.</p>
<p>From what I’ve seen from my own family and friends, the degree of parental financial help is not the main element in how successfully a young person transitions to adulthood–rather, it’s more a matter of character, and also of attitudes that were taught by the parents–things like work ethic, understanding of money and saving, etc. I’ve seen kids who received little help who nevertheless made a very poor transition to adulthood, and others who had a lot of help, and made the transition very nicely–but perhaps with a better house than they would have had without parental help.</p>
<p>Marian- you could make a simple spreadsheet to show your H which shows the return you are getting on the money, vs. the actual costs to both your kids of their anticipated loans. It’s like seeing that a 300k house is going to cost 700K in real dollars once you’ve finally paid off the mortgage. There are online debt calculators which can do a simple sensitivity analysis… i.e. kid borrows 50K with a 10 year term, these are the numbers.</p>
<p>Although I absolutely see your H’s point of view, he may feel differently when he sees the dollars and cents. if you have money parked in low interest CD’s, lending the cash to your kids with promissory note and a slightly higher interest rate than what you are getting from a bank is a good financial deal for H and a good financial deal for the kids. They still have skin in the game and need to pay off their loans, but there won’t be fees on top of the interest payments and presumably you won’t penalize your kids if they are a week late with a payment some day.</p>
<p>Try it- H may decide it’s a better investment, it makes you happy, and it will save the kids money down the road.</p>
<p>Marian, we have a similar situation in our household but not quite as clear cut. Both DH and I paid for our grad school by TA’ing. We had not considered paying for kids’ grad schools. So DS1 applied to and was admitted to grad school but with no clear job and 50k price tag plus living expenses (yes). Had a job with full benefits in 2009 economy. We all agreed keep the job. Hopefully, the grad education will come. However, the momentum is lost. Interesting situation. Will see if grad education comes. Currently I have my parents agreeing to fund some grad school if son decides to go and TAship is not available. Also, since DS is now off our tax roll he can submit early FAFSA for grants, presumably.</p>
<p>We have one in grad school, one in professional school and one considering it. We have always been very clear that UG with no debts was on us, grad school on them. We want them to make every grad school decision as frugally as possible, but we hope that we can be in a position to at least significantly reduce the loans once each one graduates.</p>
<p>But we need a breather after over 10 years of the tuition life austerity plan, we are a little tired. And they need to make the choices as if every penny is their money and they will have to pay it back. I think it makes it more real that way.</p>
<p>They and we know kids whose parents fund not only all educational expenses, but provide a nice condo in the city after grad, I wish I had the money for that, but even so, I think my kids have developed some sense of pride in doing it themselves…but I’d still love to pay off those loans when they come due!</p>
<p>Marian, Might your husband be open to the idea of helping the children pay off a portion of their debts once they are established and on their own?</p>