<p>I keep seeing comments here that surprise me. I've said all along that I would enable my children to attend college, and I planned and saved for that as they grew. It has never been my intention or desire to pay for their graduate education or beyond, should they choose to go that route, but I see many posts here that indicate many parents seem to be planning to help with that.</p>
<p>If one of my sons decides on grad school (and the oldest almost surely will), I expect him to figure out how to finance it himself. By that point, he's a young adult with a college degree and, in my mind, should take the responsibility for finding ways to finance any further education. (One of those ways might be to come to us and ask for a loan, but it would be a <em>loan</em> and not a gift. If it comes down to an expensive loan from a bank vs. a quite cheaply financed loan from us, I will surely encourage the latter.)</p>
<p>I'm very curious about this. Do most parents here plan to fund, finance, or at least contribute to the costs of graduate education for their children when it comes time?</p>
<p>It really depends what is meant by grad schools. A great many M.A. programs do not offer financial support; so either the students borrow or the parents provide financial aid.
Many Ph.D. programs, however, fully support the students, through a combination of outright fellowships, and research or teaching fellowships.</p>
<p>But law school, med school, b-schools, by and large do not provide financial support, and their tuition tend to be far higher than that of Ph.D. programs. That is why their graduates come away with so much debt. So it is a good idea for parents of students who are interested in those fields to weigh whether they will pay for only college or only graduate school or if they can afford to pay for both.</p>
<p>I've told my children that we will pay for undergrad, it will be their responsibility to pay for any further education they need or desire after that...with one exception: if they can live at home and do graduate work locally, we will subsidize their living expenses until they receive their degree.</p>
<p>I think it will depend on what the situation is for one of my Ds when they decide to attend grad school. For some grad or professional programs, it's more common than not for the student to have worked for several years prior to applying. If they decide to attend right after finishing undergrad, then we will certainly help financially to the best of our ability. Even in the first scenario, if it's something like law school which is so very costly, then I can see us contributing.</p>
<p>We told our kids we would finance their undergraduate educations completely, letting them choose their schools without balancing costs, and without taking loans out. This, to me, gives them a wonderful foundation from which to figure out how to pay for grad school themselves. Even if it's professional school, it's going to be their responsibility. They start out loan-free, so they'll be able to take some on, or they can work while doing an MA. Or save money while working beforehand.</p>
<p>They both know how to "live poor" (in Mini's phrase), so that makes the grad-student semi-poverty do-able, if they choose it.</p>
<p>We have a figure in mind that we have been blessed enough to afford to give to our children - sort of a "pre-inheritance" with the understanding that we are going to spend down the rest of their "inheritance". This is an amount to establish them in life. My daughter is using hers for undergraduate. My son, very possibly, will not use up all of his in college, and will have funds for graduate school support, perhaps a down payment on a house. That is not to say we might not also provide loans, but we have to attend to our retirement.
So many people in our circumstances have new boats every year, better cars, river or beach houses, condos - our kids have been denied many of those trappings in favor of travel and education at a college of their choice without regards to cost. I just hope we can manage retirement, plus a special retirement dream house. It helps that our idea of a perfect retirement involves an unlimited account at Amazon, wine and travel four times a year, nothing too spectacular.</p>
<p>No, I am not able to pay for grad school for my kids. If they plan on grad school, then I will encourage them to work for a few years between college & grad school, to get a good foundation in savings - and then they will have to make their own decisions about taking out loans. I just don't have the financial ability to pay - and as I am a single parent, I do not think it would be reasonable for them to expect me to pay.</p>
<p>My parents gave me nothing but encouragement and that was enough. You learn to get by living the grad student life--roommates, odd jobs, cheap food, no car.</p>
<p>Not a chance!!!!!! It'll be amazing if we can swing undergraduate tution and fees. DD got a sweet financial aid package that provided all her "need" with grants and scholarship - so she'll be loanless, and we're working hard to come up with our EFC. With DS, now a HS soph, don't know what kind of offers he'll be able to get. His rank won't be nearly as high, and he's got no EC's to speak of.... Well be lucky if we make it through their undergraduate years financiallyl</p>
<p>I am with you anxious (even though I will be hanging out with Cangel, reading good books and drinking wine at her dream home) as I have committed to having her be a debt free undergrad. She's looking to go to medical school I will try to help her as best I can, but the bulk of the financial ownership is on her.</p>
<p>Thank you, mootmom, for addressing something that has been floating around in my mind. </p>
<p>We, too, are in the camp fortunate to be able to see S through college debt-free. And we have always told him that grad school is his to work out, as so many others have said. He now has a large merit scholarship in hand. If he chooses to go to that school, I believe that we will earmark some or all of the "savings" to help with grad school. Since he might yet be admitted to his reach school (where there will be no merit aid), we haven't emphasized this. And I'm not sure how appropriate it would be to complicate the choice between the two - on the other hand,maybe he should weigh that in to his decision (if he is lucky enough to have a decision). Anyone have a take on this?</p>
<p>Both I and my husband worked our way through graduate school. I know that the professional schools are very pricey now, but that's because there is so much reward at the end. "to whom much is given, much is expected"</p>
<p>Besides, paying for something makes one appreciate it more.</p>
<p>We have committed to making every effort to pay our kids' undergraduate education. Grad/professional school is up to them, though we will help out ad hoc without commitment. Any change to this will have to be discussed and decided on an individual basis.</p>
<p>This issue ties in closely with another recent thread regarding the public vs private route. jmmom, you may feel like you don't want to complicate the choice for your child between two ug schools, based on scholarships received. I know how hard these issues are to broach with teenage kids. But i think it is a very reasonable and instructive thing to do. As i keep telling dd (regarding her own measly allowance), life involves making choices, and choices you make now will affect your ability to make other purchases in the future. That's reality. I really don't think parents should feel obligated to finance the graduate school education. On the other hand, I know i would be happy to help out there (in a major way) if my daughter chose a less expensive undergraduate education. We are ineligible for aid, and, by the time one factors in the travel, books, and increases in tuition, a 4-year (hopefully no longer) stint at a private school will undoubtedly cost $200 K. Almost double the cost of my (very cute) first house. I don't think I will feel like forking over any more after that for anything (eg wedding, grad school, car loan, etc). I have repeatedly said "You reallyy don't understand how much 40k a year is." She has responded that I am right - She has no idea what that means. For her, a pack of gum for 25 cents or 40 cents really doesn't feel any different. So how to impress upon her the difference between $25,000 and $40,000? I'm afraid that, in my own d's case, even the knowledge that i will not pay for grad school would have little bearing on her decision since that seems so far away... But, if your child is more focused on his future educational plans, he might have the maturity to factor that into the decision equation. i wish you luck with this.</p>
<p>"It helps that our idea of a perfect retirement involves an unlimited account at Amazon, wine and travel four times a year, nothing too spectacular."</p>
<p>Cangel, perfectly put!</p>
<p>This thread is very interesting to me as my son nears his half-way point in his undergrad career. I had never thought about a low-interest personal loan before.</p>
<p>jmmom, I agree with mommeleh that you may want to discuss this option with your son, even though it might complicate the waters some. If you do have a relatively fixed amount mentally or actually allocated for college costs for him, you may decide you want to make that available "for education purposes" which he can allocate as needed and mix-and-match with scholarships. This is the principle on which 529 accounts work: the money in them is for educational use, but any remainder can be kept for years until it's used up, or even transferred to another family member who needs it for educational purposes. </p>
<p>In our case, we have two sons for whom we have saved an equivalent amount. The older is applying to top (expensive) schools and will be paying full freight (less any minor merit scholarships) based on our family worth. He is likely to use up his account, maybe even in the first three years, although he is surely headed to grad school. The younger, however, is unlikely to need anywhere near that amount -- he's the "good test scores, crappy grades" kind of underachiever and is more likely to go to a far less expensive state school, and not go to grad school. Do I leave their accounts equal, or transfer some $ from younger to older as needed? (For now I intend to leave the accounts equal, but it's an intriguing question to me.)</p>
<p>These are decisions we don't talk much about, but they're important.</p>
<p>mommeleh and moot - thanks for the very good points. I agree, the more I think about it, that it is an instructive discussion. Also agree on expecting ug will be $200k - in my case, exactly 4x cost of my first, also cute, house. In SF! How times have changed.</p>
<p>My son has a tuition waiver for one degree at the university my husband works for. If my son uses it now, he will graduate debt-free, and we will be able to help with grad or med school (help, not cover completely). The complication is that his first-choice majors are not offered at the undergraduate level at the tuition-waiver school! If he attends elsewhere for undergrad, he can pick up an MA or MD (if admitted) at my husband's school. I can make a rational case for either scenario. Much will ride on the amount of aid offered by the other choices.</p>