My mother cannot tell the difference between a wheelchair and a walker. She sits on the walker and moves herself forward with her feet, and pushes the wheelchair. We talk about this every day and so does staff.
She is dizzy and unsteady some days but could eat downstairs or even attend an activity. But to be safe, needs the wheelchair on those days. If I can get her to momentarily understand what a wheelchair is, this is the conversation:
Me: You could have a better quality of life if you would agree to the wheelchair when you are dizzy. You could get out of bed and see people.
Mother: âI donât need a wheelchair. I can walk.â
Then she tries to walk and says she cannot do it, and gets back into bed. Argh.
She keeps putting the wheelchair out into the hallway because she does not âneedâ it. (How does she get back to the bedroom? I shudder to think!)
Yeah, my dad refuses to use any kind of aid. Itâs sad, because I think if he would, he could go to UT football games, which he has season tickets for (he gets them free for his lifetime, since he was so involved with the sports program). That tells you how stubborn he is, since he loves UT football.
I got to mom to start using a walker when she was increasingly wobbly, shortly after dad died. She was agreeable and will also be pushed in wheelchair when we are going longer distances.
We are glad it helped avert a fall and helps her get exercise. She likes the walker with the seat and we like that it has a basket that holds a change of clothes and a depends in case of need.
So helpful! Thanks. I reached out to my kids to arrange a time to try some options out and they promptly showed me how easy it is to use Facebook (messenger) to do a video chat also. 99% sure everyone has FB so might go that wayâŠ
Well, gulp, here we go. Dad arrives Monday. This week he shipped 4 heavy boxes - 2âx2â each - via UPS. We had to empty the boxes just to move them from the driveway where UPS left them (in the rain).
It looks like he just dumped the contents of his huge desk and multiple filing cabinets.
He also shipped dozens of VHS tapes - not even home videos, but movies (!?). A lot of complete junk. Empty boxes. Pens and paper clips. Hundreds of his own business cards from decades ago. An engineering certification from the 1950s, in a glass frame, which broke and sprinkled glass cunningly throughout the files.
His soon-to-be ex said he has been âa bit disorganized.â Sigh.
He can sort through that stuff at his leisure.
Contractor is coming to install tiled shower next week, and moving stuff around for better access. We sprang for radiant flooring - itâs such a small space, itâll only be $600 - and a new toilet & vanity as well. Overall, it wonât be cheap and hubby is, like, âWhy are we doing all this?â
I guess my justification is that I would feel awful if we did the bare minimum to save money and he fell or something because of it. And it is the original bathroom from 1999, so it is long overdue for a renovation.
I also bought an oil-filled heater and an electric blanket. And weâre done prepping. Down to cleaning surfaces and doing a grocery run.
A beautiful gift to your dad gator mom. My mom just moved to my state at the end of August and itâs wonderful having her here (she isnât living with me though). I hope it goes well.
Iâve got my first âfamily meetingâ with the SNF later this morning. Iâve liked them so far, itâs a very reputable facility that has been in the area for years. Mom seems to like it and is realistic about her ability to be independent at the moment. Sheâs still easily confused and also easily exhausted. And a little frightened about the future. I worry about the SNFâs criteria for discharge and thatâs one topic I hope to discuss this morning. Suggestions for questions I might not be thinking of? Shoot. Should have posted this question earlier.
Be crystal clear with them about your expectations for discharge planning. If home isnât an option, make sure they know that up front. Medicare will only cover SNF if there is a skilled need (based on how they define it) and they wonât have much time to plan if that changes.
Hi @JustaMom5465. What kind of respiratory therapy is she getting and will that continue at home? Would recovery actually happen better at home with therapists there? Where is home? By herself, or facility, or with family? Do they discharge based on rate of progress, positive or negative, and what professional help is available after discharge, and is it covered by insurance?
Make sure meds are all correct! I found some errors after transfer from hospital to rehab/SNF and asked to go over them when discharge happened. So make sure you can go over meds before she leaves
Another anecdote on my mother, who called me on the phone to say âMy phone isnât working. I canât make any calls.â Me: âYou are on the phone now.â
Not sure where to post this but has anyone noticed the new Netflix movie âOld Peopleâ which is ranked #8 already. The plot involved a mother and kids who go home for sisterâs wedding and face an attack by Old People!! Some of the Old People look more like me than my mother! This is commercialized ageism. Old People as monsters. Where to protest? Home - Netflix
We have a situation with my Aunt. Her dementia has gotten really bad in the sense that she is lighting 6 cigarettes at a time, throwing things away, having delusions, doing strange things. Her 56 year old son lives with her and him and my mom have been taking take of her but are at the end of their rope. We have found a residential care home we like, she has seen it and likes it big does not want to go. Has always been very independent and stubborn. She found out we made a deposit to hold a room and has become very angry and abusive. We would like to move her in a few weeks but short of tying her up Iâm not sure she will go. We have POA and are trying to get some anxiety meds for her. Any suggestions or things that worked for you?
That is so hard! When it came time for us to place my mom, she was horribly upset, angry, etc⊠The facility gave us tips on how to get her there but it was very difficult. Basically family took her out for the morning, the movers came to take furniture and set up her new space so there would be familiar things. My brother then took her to the facility âfor lunchâ and then moved her in. He stayed overnight with her a few days to help the transition. She called us crying every day for a week begging for us to come get her. It was heartbreaking. We kept reminding ourselves that she wasnât safe to be at home. Thankfully she became acclimated pretty soon thereafter and had good quality of life there, was safe, well cared for and happy but the process was difficult.
I wish you and your family the best of luck in the transition.
