Parents, My Brother Needs Your Advice

Parents Forum
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<p>Hello all, my brother is in a sticky situation, and he would like all of your advice…</p>

<p>He just finished up his sophmore year aat Purchase College where seems to be floundering; he doesn’t really have a passion, doesn’t know what he wants to study, and has a pretty low GPA (2.5 aproximately). Whats more, he really doesn’t fit into the culture of the school which is a bit quirky. He used to be a musician, but stopped pursuing a degree in composition. He’s now gonna get a degree in History I think.</p>

<p>Basically, he feels he’s not really getting anything out of his current college; he’s thinking of two options:</p>

<li>take a year of and work, and then maybe apply to NYU’s extension school</li>
<li>go to a local college (montclair State University) if he can apply as a transfer (i have no idea)</li>
</ol>

<p>Im scared that if he takes a year off he’ll never go back to school and will just flounder around for the rest of his life.
Should he just finish up his final two years? A college degree from a decent college seems to be a “golden ticket” to at least a white collar job. He’s not “miserable” at purchase, he has friends and a girlfriend, he just doesnt exactly fit the culture. </p>

<p>Anyway, I would really apreciate any advice you parents could give him. Stick it out, or are there any more options for him? Please remember this is not a “go getter” kind of person; he’ll basically just sit back and let life pass him by. Thank you!</p>

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<p>I think you know him best....so maybe staying in school somewhere somehow is best rather than sitting it out. Maybe local college is a good choice or even community college. Part-time job at the same time. ONE ISSUE is that if he is not a fulltime student he will be on his own for health care and auto insurance if he is piggybacking onthe parents.....so he may need to take 12 hrs. Keep that in mind. Another option is to explore groups, clubs where he can utilize his musical talents by performing AND be in the college culture. Nothing wrong with history if that is his passion. Perhaps music recording degree would be good for him.....use that as a carrot.</p>

<p>Let me say how wonderful it is to see a sibling take such interest in his brother.....</p>

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<p>Yes, ^^^ it's refreshing to hear brothers caring about each other.</p>

<p>My instinct is that taking time off works best for those who are driven and have a focus or project in mind. The way you describe him, and you know him well, I'd also worry that he'd never get back to it. Normally, I favor "gap years" and such, but for him it worries me. Sounds like he'd drift and drift.</p>

<p>SUNY Purchase is known as the "creative SUNY" - great for actors, musicians, filmmakers. Perhaps when he came there, those were his first friends and now it's hard to reframe his life with a new approach, since he's moved away from music. </p>

<p>He might be happier at another SUNY where the academics are more the focus, for example, Binghamton. Or try one in a bigger city, such as Buffalo. If he likes history, he really has many more choices than when he was pursuing music. Does he want to become a history teacher? If so, perhaps a school which would train him towards a secondary teaching certification in New York State is a thought. He might enjoy feeling that he's working towards a definite career while he studies history as a major. </p>

<p>The other thought is to get to a college where there's a more physically appealing campus, which is <em>not</em> SUNY Purchase! He might just feel a bit happier where it's more attractive to walk around, throw a frisbee. Even if he's not a bug for campus beauty, the fact is it can make him feel more collegiate if he's at a place that LOOKS like a college. With all due respect to SUNY Purchase's many strong departments, it's disappointing in its appearance, and this might pull down his spirit, even though he hasn't said it in so many words.</p>

<p>If he doesn't want to leave the NYC area, I wonder what's going on at Pace, or
even Fordham if that's affordable (not sure about the 2.5 for transferring, but check it out). I'm going counter-intuitive here, and thinking if he went to a place more challenging academically, he might actually twig to the coursework, profs, and other students and work harder. Motivation is a tricky thing, and that's the missing piece for him. Sometimes being around other serious, interested students brings it up to a higher level, if he's not afraid to give that a try. Do you think he could do better if he only tried? Perhaps the courses are just too lazy and dull for him where he is. If he'd try, perhaps he should try a challenging academic place if he can squeak into it with his 2.5. You never know, if they need students they just might take him.
Good Luck, Bro. Keep posting and I hope you find ideas here.</p>

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<p>Transferring would be the preferable option, however recently i found out his grades are worse than i supposed; probably around a 2.0. Would any school accept someone with a 2.0? Whats more, he's going to be a junior next year; could he even transfer? </p>

<p>Thank you very much for everyone's advice.</p>

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<p>I've never dealt with transfers, so I don't know about 2.0. Others must advise. I hope it's possible.</p>

<p>But, if he can't transfer out, he at least IS at SUNY Purchase so then the advice might be to find a way to choose better courses, get good advice on the most interesting professors espec in history, so that next term he'd find it more academically compelling right where he is. </p>

<p>As a brother, you can ask him what is his approach to signing up for courses? If he gets no advice, doesn't check out the most exciting profs by asking others, or waits til the last minute when all the best classes are full, well, that's something he could change right where he is.</p>

<p>Perhaps look at the student activities and clubs with him to see if there's any possible interest in a history club or activity. I'd love to see him make a friend or two in his academics, and just get a bit more excited about what he's studying. That would bring his grades up. </p>

<p>What role does the g.f. play? That's worth exploring. Does she help or hinder him as a student; is she serious (at least occasionally) about her own work?
Her influence on his time and spirit counts for a lot. IMHO.</p>