<p>Rachacha that is so sad! CA passed a cell phone law banning them for drivers but you are so right! It's the Ipod, the CD player and all the other distractions as well. Have said a prayer for your D's classmate and your D.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice. re. Spanish. She is OK re. her FL requirement to her favorite schools and has dropped it. Since she dropped it for AVID, not basket weaving or navel gazing I think it will be something she can explain.</p>
<p>For those who asked, AVID is a program that targets underachievers with high state test scores and lower grades. It requires kids to take a rigorous college prep/AP schedule and gives them the tools they need to get through it. Sr. year AVID is all about college apps and essays and scholarship apps in addition to tutorials. It is a good program and has been really great for her. She has been in since 8th grade and has a 3.7 in the most rigorous course load offered. Because AVID is looked upon fondly by CSUs and UCs having it for 4 years is good. </p>
<p>Congrats to all who have apps completed. Chi Square I hear you...ACK!!! and lindz...thanks for the reasurance!</p>
<p>historymom - AVID sounds perfect for my high scoring underachiever - do you think it is too late for us to move to your town? ;)</p>
<p>Rachacha - Such sad news - I hope there is a happy ending to the story. My D lost a classmate in a car accident last year - no distracting electronics involved, just heavy rain, a slick road and an inexperienced driver. Very sad.</p>
<p>I think I also posted earlier about a new GC, while the old one moved into an administrative position. Similar good news here - the old GC told me she will handle all college app stuff until she is "confident the new GC can take over".</p>
<p>Still no progress on essays at our house.:( Reminded D today that senior year is only going to get busier, so now is the time.....</p>
<p>I'm starting to worry....Last night H and I had another conversation with DD about her application process: where she is; where she needs to be, money, etc. I'm starting to feel like a failure as a parent in some ways, but that's another issue. </p>
<p>The conversation brought lots of stuff out into the open. D isn't convinced about any of her college choices (and I willing admit she's been less than interested in making a list); she did admit she's a bit afraid to go off to school and leave home; she's fearful that college will be like high school with too many people concerned about their own status and not concerned about other people. This is the second conversation we've had in as many weeks about this, but D has done nothing to improve the situation. With each conversation we are gathering more information.</p>
<p>I feel like we need to begin again, but it's overwhelming. We keep hitting the search engines for colleges and find the same things over and over again. Part of me thinks she needs to go to an LAC, but she is insistent that her college have at least 5000 students. Her hs has about 1800 students and that starts to feel small after 4 years. </p>
<p>D is a good student (mainly honors/AP classes for academic subjects). Her school doesn't rank so we don't know exactly where she is, but have figured she is at least in the top 10%. Her public HS is one of the top 10 in the state. Her SAT composite is at the 95th percentile. She wants to go to a college where the students are "nice." I think she means unpretentious and that they care about others. I've always described D has having a "good heart." She sort of is an old soul type of person and tends to be a bit quiet unless she knows people. She thinks she wants to major in Spanish and/or English and definitely wants to study abroad. </p>
<p>Do other students express these thoughts and concerns? I'm trying to come up with a game plan here, but am a bit lost. I've looked at the CTCL's website. The schools seem too small for D. We've talked about a gap year before, but she was less than interested. I'm hoping/thinking that some of this is the result of a case of mono. She's recovering but had a lot of time to think while at home. Anyone have any school suggestions or general advice or care to commiserate?</p>
<p>rrah, I would definitely recommend the book "The Colleges that Change Lives" if you haven't read it already. There is also a thread on CC specifically devoted to it. These are wonderful, lesser-sung schools that may exactly be what she's looking for. The people on that thread can make recommendations and send you off!</p>
<p>Here's one thing that she might want to consider: a college with 2000 that are similar to D in educational outlook might feel more varied to her than a high school of 5000. </p>
<p>How about visiting a few schools? She might discover some schools that are nothing like her high school. She might discover that the right college of 2500 is filled with "nice" potential friends.</p>
<p>She may be concerned that a smaller school (<5000) will not have the diversity (economic included) for her to find kids that are "'nice' ... unpretentious and that they care about others.". Perhaps you should reconsider the large state schools with great academic reputations. I get the impression that smaller privates are more homogeneous; she may want a new scene, less like the top 10 high school she now attends.</p>
<p>She could look into one of those international housing offerings to prepare her for the study abroad. She might get into an honors program. If you encourage her to look into schools more along the lines of what she thinks she's looking for, she might get more enthused.</p>
<p>rrah...how close are you to Muncie, Indiana where Ball State Univ. is? My s and I recently visited there and were pleasantly surprised. The feeling of the campus was great, the tour guide even sent a postcard to my s after visiting as a follow up. The activities provided for all of the students and the sense of community felt really genuine. Just a thought if it is reasonably close to home for her.</p>
<p>We had our senior meeting with GC today - looks like D has to have one of those awkward "how did I earn THIS grade" talks with a teacher since her final pre-calc grade was NOT expected, in fact, it dropped her to the 2nd decile in rank (YIKES). Another parent told me that this teacher has made grading mistakes before - her son was threatened with athletic ineligibility until his mistake was corrected. I am staying on the sidelines though - she will have to have that discussion with the teacher herself, and if it is in fact the grade she earned, she will have to "cowboy up" I guess and take the hit to her merit aid options...</p>
<p>rrah-we have taken S to a college fair, two college nights--one was the "schools that change lives"--and visited 3 schools with a few more to go. Going to these big events and seeing his peers there was very helpful in getting his attention. I would insist that you and D go and visit one larger and one LAC just to get the vibes and see how she actually feels. Some students find it easier to make friends in a smaller environment-people are more accepting because that is the only selection available. Somewhat like the difference of large cities and smaller towns. I see you are in Indiana-how far are you looking? If you have already done the above-great!-but getting her into the "energy" of this search is part of the battle.</p>
<p>We've been to a college fair, and she stops by the tables of colleges that visit her HS. We've made several visits to different types of schools--big public, mid size U, and a smaller university. She thinks she would like to be no more than 5-6 hours away via car or plane/car combo so that leaves most places open. In a couple of weeks we will be traveling to Nashville, TN for a family gathering. I'm hoping to show her Vanderbilt. Not necessarily to attend, but so she gets a feel for what a campus in a city is like. We've not been to an LAC. I'm checking out some websites to find an LAC that we might visit so she gets the feel for that option. We might not do an official visit depending upon how much time we have. (On a side note-since DS will be with us (he's a freshman) I guess we'll start his visits much earlier.) </p>
<p>SJTH--I spent some time on the "Colleges that change lives" website and looked through the book today. I also found a list from Princeton Review called "colleges with a conscience" I'm sure it's not the same thing, but I did find it intriguing. </p>
<p>Treetop--Our thinking has been much like yours--big public--live in honors dorm or a "language" dorm. She might have to work at finding her niche, but it should be there. </p>
<p>Cardinal Fang--I hadn't really thought about it like that. It's good advice that I'll share with D. </p>
<p>britbrat--She's never seen Ball State, but has an aunt and uncle that attended. Also a friend is there. They've all told her very good things about it. If she has any interest it's only 2-3 hours away. </p>
<p>Yesterday I spent some more time online and at the bookstore. (bookstore is closer to my office than the library) She doesn't have any plans on Sunday. I'm going to insist that a few hours be spent working on this. </p>
<p>Thank you all for your advice and support. This year is going to be one heck of a roller coaster ride. Part of me still thinks that her tears a few nights ago are part of the "letting go" process that needs to occur over the next year.</p>
<p>rrah, we "talked" on the mono thread. Our daughter is a senior, also recovering from mono, but away at boarding school. She was way over the hump by the time she left and is actually doing really well. She is still not running any XC races (duh!) but she is running 30 min a day plus doing some pool workouts. She said last night if she were to run, she would come in last. On the other hand, she said she has plenty of energy to get up, attend classes, and work on homework until 1 am each day. I guess that is progress...!! Have you looked into any of the ohio schools (I see you are from IN). My husband is from Columbus and he raves about Denison, etc. Yes, they are small, but the way you describe your daughter, sounds like she would want to be in a place where she could make a difference. I like the term "where she can find her voice". Our D is reserved and would not find her voice in a large school or a class of 50 or 100. Right now her Economics class has 8 students (I know that won't happen in college!) and she loves the discussions and open exchange. I read the Colleges that change lives, good book, except most of those schools would be below the radar for a girl in the 95th %tile on SAT. We even visited one and were very impressed....BUT.....the scores were really low. So then you get to the "do I want to be at the top of the class in a school....honors program.....etc" vs. "do I want to go where I would be in the middle, academically, but in a very highly ranked LAC?" Hard decisions, for sure. BTW, I have read about 9 books on college and my kids think I am obsessed. I am! But its been fun.</p>
<p>I have not written on this thread in a while, but boy can I sympathize. </p>
<p>It struck me reading your posts that the kids are just one step behind.</p>
<p>When I was suggesting that my DS1 research and visit schools, he was reluctant. Now that his Senior year is upon him, he asks me about every school that he hears about through friends or receives mail from. I hear a "should i consider this? Do you think I should attend this or that?". That is in the context of my asking him whether or not he has lined up his recomendations or begun submitting applications - so, simply, his framework for the process is behind mine. He moves forward in gusts - suddenly deciding NOW is the time - and I move at a more constant rate - I suppose. </p>
<p>When I have considered what is best for DS1, I too have felt torn between the small environment and the large one, particularly as his positive reactions during college visits have been 'all over the map' in terms of what I would have expected. I console myself with the concept that there can be no perfect guidance of my son - just my best informed views - and his choice will be his. I am also struck by the ideas in the book "Blink" - that is at some level he's reacting to things in schools that can not be quantified in the manner I would wish. </p>
<p>Yes, it is already one rollercoaster of a year. APs, college apps, a changed social circle for DS1 this year. He seems content though - perhaps he's content to let me worry for him.</p>
<p>I am happy to see that others have adopted the spreadsheet mentality.</p>
<p>I have often wondered if I should leave that up to DS1 - am I doing too much etc. - but - for my own sanity - I have my own private charts - my method of reminding myself to remind DS1 with the endless 'did you' questions that he so hates.</p>
<p>rrah two things struck me re. your D's concerns.</p>
<p>The first may be a hard one to sell but if she can put the "small size = high school" prejudice out of her mind she may have better luck. Maybe an overnight or two will help her become aware of the differences between a hs with 1800 students and a college w/ 3000. </p>
<p>The second is that my Twink is in the same emotional boat. She loves her current life and fears changing it. Doesn't want to stay around but doesn't want to leave either. She is like that little bird on the edge of the nest poised to take off but worried about what may be out there.</p>
<p>It is interesting that someone mentioned PR's colleges w/ a conscience list because I was going to suggest a school on that list: Cal State Monterey Bay. w/ about 4000 students, a community service grad requirement and a mandate from the community that it serve the diverse local population, she is likely to find the "nice" kids she is looking for in a smaller sized, very diverse environment. I know OOS tuition is not pretty but since distance seems to not be an issue it may be worth a look.</p>
<p>Oh, and since I am already talking up CA schools, have you given the Claremonts a look? Small residential colleges as part larger consortium may be what she needs.</p>
<p>moewb....have you used the academic tracker on College board when your son asks about these schools. I cannot stress how much that tool has helped my son and his friends. Not only does it give a snapshot of the school, its size, its, cost, but also how each student "stacks up" as far as being a good match for acceptance.</p>
<p>This sure did help in creating a "reasonable" list of schools to apply for.</p>
<p>Oh we have a list, though it is too long a list, and too heavy with reach-y schools. DS1 reacted favorably to all of the reach schools - all for different reasons. State flagship is a safety as is Upitt (not the honors college which he wants). DS1 has completed applications that do not require essays/teacher recs so we are moving along....</p>
<p>I think its interesting how we all have had senior angst discussions--these poor kids. I had the "senior year isn't what I thought' and I know the curse of the "romantic" is that the seniors will all be singing the "Fame" song and dancing through the halls.</p>
<p>^^^ Both Ds have received the priority apps from one of their top choice schools. The only writing is is a short narrative about overcoming difficulty or something. Last night I asked TwinE to finish that little part and email the app back as she is very excited about the school. After about 15 minutes she looked up with tear filled eyes and asked if she could write it later. Of course I said "Yes" and I felt sad for her. She is so flummoxed at the idea of writing about herself that she is paralyzed. We have the Harry Bauld book which she has been ignoring since June but I think it is time to gently suggest she give it a look.</p>
<p>Because, as parents, so much of our college reality is nostalgic. It is no wonder we romanticize it. To most of kids it seems the process is overwhelming. My D is a perfectionist and she just can't seem to get passed that hurdle that if she blows her essay...which she won't...she will get in no where.</p>