<p>Oh joy! Since son has already submitted apps and is now merely waiting, I've been going through a bit of admissions withdrawal. Happily, the parents of this best friend called and asked for assistance. They are fortunately on the right track, just under a bit of a time crunch. It was quite fun to research colleges other than the ones which interested my kids.</p>
<p>Unitards and Powells? How on earth did that get started?</p>
<p>Historymom - he might - if he ever looked at a book! </p>
<p>JerseyShoreMom - I'm sure your D2 would just love that! ;)</p>
<p>fireflyscout--I've been helping son's friends a little too. One kid's parents are really pressuring him to attend a military academy (dad thinks the military is 'the only organization with any credibility left in the U.S.' Whatever). Son is not a go-getter military kid & I feel he's being pulled along by his parents' pressure, since he has no other direction. </p>
<p>My challenged: to keep my mouth shut!!! lol. I've offered to take him on college tours, review his essays, etc. But, since my son is finished applying (almost) we won't be touring for a few months (after acceptances come in). </p>
<p>No offense whatsoever to the military, but I wouldn't be so quick to push my kid toward a possible death (it would be another thing entirely if it was his first interest). </p>
<p>Need to duct tape down any inclinations to offer advice...</p>
<p>firefly see the posts towards the end of page 107 Nothing like a little comedy to ease the stress :) </p>
<p>And yep I made some recommendations to one of my DD's friends yesterday and it was fun to be more objective about it. I really have enjoyed this whole thing somuch and though I look forward to the girls being done with everything, I will also miss it.</p>
<p>LIMom no need to pick it up just mention "Harry Bauld" w/i earshot and you will likely get a reaction :D</p>
<p>I just want to thank all of you for posting and sharing. It is such a relief to know that we share the same frustrations. Their procrastination, messy rooms, anxiety... I believe we all have the same goal... to push just enough to help them land on their feet -- as parents it is our responsibility to ensure they stay on track. I am so glad I found this forum. I feel much better. =o)</p>
<p>Mar2009--yes, it is a relief, isn't it? Sometimes esp the little things (messy rooms all around...!).</p>
<p>On the 'helping others' topic-- school principal & I were able to give a HS junior a ton of advice recently (all of which I'd gleaned on CC). She was so appreciative--it felt good to help someone (especially someone who wasn't resistant! lol). Going to do a proposal for our HS on what district can do to improve process for kids (obviously I'm channeling my app-withdrawal...).</p>
<p>I may have been a bit flip when I threw out the $9000 figure. But if you add in incidentals for surviving the whole process (you know, hair dye, martinis..) it's probably pretty accurate.</p>
<p>Mar2009</p>
<p>Yes it is good to have a place to share stories.........are there any tidy teenagers out there that LIKE to keep their rooms neat? </p>
<p>I'm getting frustrated because my daughter keeps hearing from some schools that she FINALLY got around to applying to that they haven't yet received her transcript and counselor/teacher recommendations.... she doesn't want to nag but she did stop by and they assured her that they were sent out. Not sure why it's taking so long...but I suppose it took her long enough to actually make the move to apply.</p>
<p>My daughter is a 4.0 student, AP scholar with honor, etc, great SATs so.....I just assumed that she'd be more than excited about applying to colleges...after all she's worked so hard to achieve....but now she seems disinterested in the whole process. I think maybe she's fearful of being rejected. Teenagers are very complicated souls!</p>
<p>I think I remember being a complicated teenager......I think it's much easier to be an adult!</p>
<p>Martinis! That's funny... I have a date with a bunch of senior moms... As soon as all of our kids have finished their applications, us moms are going out for margaritas. We figure we will have deserved it, having gotten through the first part. And then we are doing it again after the FAFSA's are done! ha ha! But I did find out my D was much further along than I thought. I guess I didn't appreciate how far she had gotten. College number 10 is being done this week. Actually, she is done. She is just waiting for me to proofread and I am being lazy. Ha ha. Number 11 next week during break and that is it. Just supplementals on two and her auditions for 9 of them. (That's all....) (Sarcasm.) But still, she is way farther along than my friends' kids, so I told her that and thanked her for her diligence. She said she appreciated my thanking her and taking notice that she wasn't "goofing off." I think we need to tell them when they are doing it right. We forget to tell them when we are pleased, and often just tell them when we are annoyed.</p>
<p>Chintzy, I hadn't thought about the indirect costs of this process! The wine alone....that's harder to calculate than all the unread prep books, and the emotional upheaval in the house is a whole different animal!</p>
<p>I was talking with a friend this weekend whose daughter is now a freshman. I was bemoaning my S's lack of interest, mediocre grades, our battles, etc. She related a story about her D's visit home with some college friends, and how the visit had ended in an argument because her D spent no time with mom despite all mom had done to make the visit great. This is her advice to me: </p>
<p>"I know that her last year was not fun either because I would get CRAZED with her grades like you are doing. I HATE that I made her last year home so unpleasant. Trust me....it is not worth it for us or them. I wish I could take back last year....I want you to just enjoy him and lighten up. He will make you proud. He truly wants to".</p>
<p>It was a wakeup call for me. It's far more important that our relationship be solid when he goes away to college than for him to dot every i and cross every t in his apps. Granted, that is important too, but it was a much needed reality check for me that I thought I'd share with all of you.</p>
<p>Oh, and regarding helping others with all we've learned on CC - a friend at work as a senior D with very good test scores and grades. Mom "separated" from the process a few months ago, but we still talk (okay, obsess) about college. A few weeks ago, she said D didn't know where she was going to apply ED, Dartmouth or Brown, and I told her the ED deadline to both schools was 11/1. Sure enough, D checked, completed her apps, and submitted within the 36 hour deadline. She also took the ACT after I'd relayed how it was easier for my S, and her D scored a 35. It's amazing what we learn here!</p>
<p>cpeltz - Good advice you give here....I'm sad that my second daughter will be going to live elsewhere next year. Good reminder to make this year happy and as reasonably sane as possible.</p>
<p>Amazing daughter you have there!</p>
<p>AdvicePlease - the D in my post is my friend's D! My S is amazing too, but not in those kinds of stats!</p>
<p>AdvicePlease, I just went through a similar situation. It turned out GC had sent everything in a timely manner--problem was at the college's end, and took a few phone calls to resolve.</p>
<p>cpeltz, thanks for the reality check!</p>
<p>cpeltz--good advice. I sat in bed last night thinking---how many of my interactions w/son today were "Did you talk to Eng teacher about your essay?" "Have you reviewed your scholarship essay prompts?" Blah blah. And...son is DONE most of his essays! I think even the model of 'parent nags to get student to accomplish' can becoming ingrained in the app process! </p>
<p>Memo to self--lighten up!!</p>
<p>Son started watching House reruns on USA over the summer and I find that I really enjoy the show, too. We've been watching a lot of House together, which makes for a nice, nag-free time. Son has even started watching *Mission Impossible *reruns with Husband, who he usually tries to avoid.</p>
<p>Oh this is all so true: its so important to have talks about normal stuff. I have told both S1 and S2 that I refused to let their senior year relationship with me be defined by college applications. So far, we've made it through in a fairly civil, even fun, manner. I think it helps that he is motivated to go to a great school/conservatory, and sees a future for himself (the trade-off is that he is WAY over HS and ready to be over the social scene in his very small school). Don't get me wrong--it's not all flowers and cupcakes: more like detente, with me tiptoeing so the schrapnel doesn't begin to fly. However, I feel very sorry for those of you who can't get the kids motivated at all to get going. That will probably be S3, the computer junkie....</p>
<p>D is interviewing at Bowdoin as I type - she was so stubborn about wearing her "lucky interview skirt" (then again all her other interviews have been in warm weather) - I have a feeling sister-in-law had to make an emergency shopping stop in Freeport this morning....planning a special dinner for her when she gets back, the visits are DONE (pre-acceptance visits anyway)</p>
<p>I like that parent Margarita get-together idea. The school had their financial aid meeting for parents of seniors this week, and there were no less than five parents there that have lost a job in the last few months...mostly at Kodak here, so I may just invite them. Gotta count your blessings....</p>
<p>Rachacha, good luck to your daughter in her interview!</p>
<p>It's funny, but son is getting emails and snail mails from several colleges for the first time. Kinda late to be making initial contact, don't you think?</p>
<p>fireflyscout - my S is getting new college contact as well. Maybe that is further proof how far along our kids are in the process! Speaking of which - 5 applications in, one UC personal statement done that made me laugh out loud, once UC statement to go plus 2 short supplement essays and he'll be done. I decided not to harass him about arbitrary deadlines anymore. He on track or has submitted all his EA and rolling admit apps, and will be finished (hopefully) this weekend. </p>
<p>I'm really trying a new approach with him with the realization that we may only live together another 8 months, and I want to have that time to cement a more adult relationship, rather than a parent/child one.</p>
<p>Son took the December SAT last year (as a junior). Waiting to go in, he chatted with several senior he knew who were taking it for the first time. So yes, I think we are ahead of the curve.</p>
<p>Plus, I wonder if any of the mail is timed to take advantage of possible ED rejections.</p>