<p>4giggles, so sorry. If its any help, a girl from our school was deferred at Duke last year, and really had teachers/counselors go to bat for her and is now a freshman there! She turned down Northwestern, Johns Hopkins and other schools for love of Duke. Good luck--and I'm sorry she has to wait :(</p>
<p>4Giggles: I'm sorry that the news was not what your d wanted, but ... remind your d that deferred is not rejected. I know "deferred" students from my older childrens classes that were accepted in the spring. The spring acceptance was sweet. Maybe while your d waits she'll also find that it gives her time to explore her other universities from a different perspective. I know this sounds like a pat answer, but I do know a child that found his deferral a good thing and ended up choosing a different university - and yes in the spring he did have a choice. He is thankful that he was deferred because he is so happy with his final choice. Good luck with it all - we ache for our children.</p>
<p>For some of these kids a deferral (or rejection) can be their First Worst disappointment and it is so painful to witness. But I have to say, having watched these boards since my first went through this (I'm now waiting it out for the second)--kids are astonishingly resilient and WE need to remember that (since many of us have lost some bounce while gaining wisdom)... So I think it pays to provide as much solace and support as possible (and gnash our teeth and have a drink in private) and then practice some Zen letting go. I'm sure lots of other parents will post stories of how kids ending up feeling joy and relief about where they ultimately ended up and by this time next year some of them will even claim they were "fine" about it...even if right now they are not.</p>
<p>Thanks all, for gift suggestions. Yes, I will get some stationary which will remind me that she will graduate and need them! Great idea! I will also look for a few gadget-edy room things but will stay away form the big stuff that she may want to coordinate with a roomate. Nothin' says Merry Christmas like a new laundry basket?? (She is eager for the big college adventure so I don't think, in her case, it will make her sad.) </p>
<p>Sorry to hear of the deferral from Duke. And that's coming from a UNC grad...</p>
<p>Hey 4Giggles, is there room in your boat? D got her deferral from Duke today too. I asked her if she planned to retake any tests (the weakest part of her app) and she said no. She seems to be taking it very well and refocusing on the rest of her list.</p>
<p>Chintzy, so sorry, but good for your daughter having such a good attitude! I really do believe this is harder on the parental units....</p>
<p>Chintzy-- sorry to have to share the boat. Your D sounds like she has a great attitude, and I know it will all turn out the way it is supposed to. Now she needs to focus on remainder of apps, tried to convince her to finish before, but you know how that goes.</p>
<p>Sorry for your kids Chintzy and 4Giggles. A friend of mine's D was deferred from Dartmouth yesterday and I think mom was more upset than D. My mom always said the worst heartaches she ever had were watching her kids feel pain. </p>
<p>As has been said, for most of our kids, particularly the ones applying ED to the top tier schools, rejection is not something with which they have any experience. I suppose the bright side is the rejections will quickly be followed by acceptances. With wisdom, we learn that if we don't get the things we want, it's usually because they're not right for us in the first place.</p>
<p>Hugs to you and your kids....</p>
<p>4Giggles and Chintzy, so sorry. It really is hard - lots of gloomy news from S1's school today, too. </p>
<p>Other doors will open for them, and spring will no doubt bring good news. In the meantime, it's good that they have good attitudes . . . and caring moms.</p>
<p>Oregon101, DS got the same holiday greeting, it was lovely! Must make your family so happy about your decision. We haven't visited yet, but the people I've spoken to there have been so warm and helpful.</p>
<p>Last night I opened the mail box and saw a big fat envelope. I was exicited and thought it was an acceptance package for my kid. But then I was disappointed because that envelope was from National Student Leadership Conference asking me to waste money for their summer program. I hate those NSLC people. They should have known when to send their advertisements. I trashed their mail during the last 3 years.</p>
<p>Ok, D wants to stay home from school today!! Deferral slump.</p>
<p>^^What's the harm in a 3 day weekend? D had to go to school for a big AP World History exam; she & her brother were doing the snow dance last night to no avail. D has one acceptance under her belt--High Point--so she can still get out of New England and head south no matter what else happens in the RD round.</p>
<p>HMW (and anyone else disappointed in the ED results)--I predict great results in the spring!</p>
<p>I checked the Duke board once, at about 5:15 CST. It made my heart hurt to read posts of kids deferred or declined, so I'm not checking anymore boards like that - I don't even know these kids and I'm upset for them!</p>
<p>Missypie, I so agree. I spent some time on a few of the ED results board, and it felt like watching a train wreck. The ED kids, for the most part, are so focused and have their hearts broken (well, chipped anyway) for the first time with deferrals/rejections. It's a brutal process, but they're resilient and have great news ahead of them!</p>
<p>someone once told me, "a mother can only be as happy as her most unhappy child". Exactly the case at our house.</p>
<p>I am dreading the drama of senior year.</p>
<p>Karen, That is so true.</p>
<p>So sorry Chintzy and 4Giggles. I am sure your Ds will have many wonderful doors open to them. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts!!!</p>
<p>Thanks so much NorthMinnesota, I really did not think she (yes, or I would be so thrown be this)</p>
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<blockquote> <p>Your D sounds like she has a great attitude, and I know it will all turn out the way it is supposed to.<<</p> </blockquote>
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<p>I can say with personal knowledge that things do work out. </p>
<p>D was rejected in the early action round years ago and it was a pretty dour time during those months between Christmas and Mar/Apr. But the spring brought good news, D went off to college and had a great 4 year experience. </p>
<p>After graduation, she mentioned her rejection in the early round and said that she was now glad that it happened that way. She couldn't imagine not having the experiences she had and the friends that she made at her college. And also meeting people from the college that rejected her over the 4 year period made her realize that she dodged a bullet. People were not as good a fit.</p>
<p>So with D2, I was against putting in for EA to a highly selective school. I don't care if there is a "bump" from applying EA (which I am not sure that I believe)...the gloom that comes with a deferral or rejection are just not worth it.</p>
<p>D2 didn't follow my advice, so we may be in for a rocky Christmas break.</p>