<p>D day for the Ivies and as a parent, I ponder the steps that have been a journey of discovery for my daughter, and especially me, as a parent. Seems her junior year, she was set on a major of psychology, knowing one had to have at minimum, a masters, to work in any type of counseling. A state university (and my Alma Mata) was her first choice and has a fantastic medical school affiliated. Somehow, beginning senior year and she is challenged. "no one in their school could possibly get into an Ivy". So she looks into requirements. She attends various admission sessions and was received an invitation to Harvard's local meeting. I think we both fell in love with Yale's adcom rep. Perhaps an Ivy isn't that great of a reach? Thoughts of a career in psychology now morph into a desire for medical school. </p>
<p>Daughter finished all her applications, essays, etc with no outside assistance, and a month or so early. Interviews went amazingly well. And today, I am so nervous, I feel nauseous. How do we, as parents, help our children handle rejection? Do we have distorted views of reality, thinking our child has that something that makes him/her more special than the other 20K+ applicants? </p>
<p>Sorry for the rambling. I had no idea I'd feel such stress and all she is considering today is a soccer game, followed by two hours of ballet. She's not even planning on checking online until tomorrow.</p>
<p>Well, if she gets rejected by Harvard and Yale, she'll be disappointed for a few days.</p>
<p>But if the state university you're talking about is the one in your own state, the disappointment shouldn't last long. UVa is a wonderful place. I don't think anyone could consider going there to be a bad outcome.</p>
<p>We on the Maryland side of the border envy you.</p>
<p>thank you, Marian, for listening to my whine! (smiles) UVA was her top choice in early years, after spending several summers at their enrichment programs, but wasn't even UVA in which held her interest. We won't get the UVA decision until Monday. You are correct....I should be grateful for two outstanding state universities in Virginia. She's gotten her W&M acceptance, and with legacy at UVA, I hope that's an alternative. Dad hates the thought of her so far away from home.</p>
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all she is considering today is a soccer game, followed by two hours of ballet. She's not even planning on checking online until tomorrow.
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Proof positive that you have done your job well, momray, imho. The sad cases are the ones where the kids are paralyzed by fear of letting the parent down due to pressure to get into the "right" school.</p>
<p>One of the gifts we can give our children is to bear the stress for them. I know that doesn't really work, but we can pretend that's why we're suffering so. ;) The gift that keeps on giving. :p</p>
<p>thanks, jmmom. I'll get my venting out now while she's in school so I can be happy and excited for a soccer game this evening!</p>
<p>And it helps to read posts where the parents always refer to taking tests, filling out applications, etc, as WE. We didn't get this far. She did it! She got the grades, took the classes, completed the work for admissions. If she should get accepted, SHE did it. Not we.</p>
<p>It's great, momray, that your daughter is busy today. My son decided to lie down and take a nap just as early decision results became available online back in November, 2005. It sounds like your daughter has some very good fallback options. Let us know what happens!</p>
<p>If your daughter already has a William and Mary acceptance in hand, she doesn't have a problem. Everything else is gravy. She already has one splendid school, and there will probably be other choices for her as well.</p>
<p>thank you, Marion. So far, no other choicec. Waitlist at Yale, Columbia, and Cornell. Rejected from Princeton. Waiting on Emory and UVA. I wish she was more enthused with W&M but it's so close to home!</p>
<p>Close to home can actually be an advantage. </p>
<p>My son is at UMCP, less than an hour from home. But he is still as independent as he wants to be. He rarely comes home for a weekend, and his father and I don't interfere in his life at all. But when he wants or needs to come home, he can do so easily. He has had some fairly extensive dental problems, and it has been really convenient for him to be able to get them taken care of by his dentist at home, regardless of whether the problems came up during an academic term or during vacations. Going to school near home can be quite convenient -- so much so that I almost regret that my younger child will be going to college six hours away.</p>
<p>momray, if she was WL'd at those schools, she will get into UVA. My position two years ago was similar to her current situation - my top choice, Princeton, waitlisted me. I was accepted at several other decent schools. I ended up choosing UVA and I have no regrets. The academics and job recruiting here are good enough to get me wherever I want to go, and the social scene is without a doubt better than what it would have been at any of the other schools I considered.</p>
<p>I wish she felt the same, Marion.....younger daughter is really looking at W&M. </p>
<p>Thanks, Cav. She sent her application USPS instead of online so I'm told she's got to wait for the mail instead of online decision. Our two oldest sons are UVA grads. There situation was way less stressful. Full rides for wrestling.</p>
<p>If she ends up going to UVA, she'll be happy that she made the decision by convocation. Once stories start trickling in from her friends at Yale, Cornell and Columbia about the miserable sports and party scenes, she'll be even happier. And once she gets into a good medical schools (perhaps UVA--instate tuition!), she'll be completely satisfied.</p>
<p>She won't have any friends at such schools. She's the only person from her class that has applied to any Ivy leagues. Hadn't even thought of UVA's Med school......her uncle is a graduate there.</p>
<p>So how did it turn out? Did she do well at her Soccer game...just kidding! Did she get any news from UVA or Emory. All of these seem like great choices, trust that she can't make a "bad" choice. How fortunate you are to have a daughter who is driven to succeed.</p>