Also CQ and all her air travel too!
Thanks DTE and all. Yeah not news you want. The only thing I can say is that it was very early days - in my time you wouldnāt have really noticed I donāt think. That being said I think her H is over it and wants her to do something and move on. I think itās harder for her.
Good luck on the job hunt. Iām starting to really look. I just canāt handle the slave labor culture that is where I work. Since I have a job that makes it easier in my mind and I can be āpickyā to some extent.
Hope DTE and Shaw feel better. I did get my flu shot and doctor wants me to get the shingles vaccine as well. Out local hospital is out of them so just waiting until a restock happens.
Supposed to get a standing desk at work - been a month and no movement. My back is seizing today. I really need to be on my feet more.
RM it has been my experience that women and men deal with things so differently. Hopefully he will be patient and it will be appreciated by her.
I may just retire. I am so tired. I also feel that although I get paid really well. the return on my effort is exhausting. I will not be missed and I wont miss it. Although I have been told my patients will miss me. Which is really what matters.
Funny, my back is worse with standing. I talked to my friend who is a Personal trainer to help me strengthen my core. and legs. After that I may consider surgery if it doesnāt work. I really appreciate feeling stronger and I havenāt in such a long time. This may be the year of me!
Well with the move to Oct itās 28 months max for me. 
I really wish they would offer some sort of package where I am and I would just take it. Unfortunately we are understaffed do really doubt THAT is going to happen.
One can dream!
I had my eye lift surgery this morning. I look alarmingly bad. Such bruises!
Best to you! Please keep us updated. It is on my wish list.
MP - heal up. Iām sure that was to be expected just probably looks worse then you had hoped for. Hopefully it will be what you want once the swelling etc comes down. Iām sure you will look fabulous!
Hope you are healing well, MP. I had that surgery (top lids only) about 6-7 years ago and the bruising was worth it. Lately Iāve been thinking about going back for a touch up.
Hugs to all on the work situations. IMO the work world in general has gotten so much worse than it was 20-25 years ago. So much more is expected, benefits are fewer and staffing is so lean that getting help or any sort of training is nonexistent. New employees/people in new positions are basically expected to hit the ground running. Also it stinks to be over 50 in the workplace. Age discrimination is subtle, but real. I used to plan to work into my late 60ās but now plan to go in 3-5 years and the sooner the better.
On the personal side, S graduated in July and just started his new job (in London where he finished uni). He is with a Big 4 on the consulting side. Meanwhile D returned to school as a full time MBA student so she and SIL left Brooklyn for Minneapolis. So far the program is a lot of work but she loves it and really likes the people there. We visited a few weeks ago.
H and I will be traveling back to rural Illinois in early December - my 7th trip there in 2018. My mom is in assisted living (alzheimers). Not sure I can continue to make that trip at this pace (700 miles each way). I have burned through all of my PTO at work except for a small carryover in case of emergency. I know I need to spend time with my mom (who begs me and my sister to visit) and she is lonely, but I also want to travel to see my kids and need to use some of my leave for medical stuff (No sick leave, itās all one PTO bucket). The balance is tricky. There are additional issues with momās care/guardianship and things are ugly between my siblings. Itās a mess that I canāt really discuss here but it is an awful situation and one we never anticipated. (hint: lawyers are involved).
Fall girl, will you PM where in IL your mom is?
I am not at the point where insurance will cover my eye stuff, but it would be nice.
FG I am sorry you are having to deal with this. On every level. We dealt with it with Hās mom and it was hard with her being 2 hours away.
I donāt know what it is with aging. I have never done it before but its not fun to wake up and feel irrelevant. I think this is an odd time in life.
Fall girl, so sorry about the situation with your mom. Itās just so awful.
My sister and I are facing the reality that we will have to put Mom in assisted living without her consent. How do you even do that?
Iām not healing as fast as I thought I would, mostly because I really didnāt give it prior any thought ā¦ not to get too graphic, but I focused not at all at having slices along the crease of my eyelids. Working from home means staring into a computer screen - a friend suggested sunglasses- my eyes tire so quickly. Iām not a complainer but I keep thinking that I can will myself to heal more quickly.
DTE, I hear you about aging and feeling irrelevant. I read an article last week - that was actually supposed to be helpful- that said that being invisible was a good thing, because you could do whatever you wanted then. Hmph.
MP, do you think your mom might need to be in assisted living because she is depressed from losing her husband to memory care? Or is it something else.
Shaw, would that it was just that. Mom has had a number of small strokes. Her mind is going. She canāt see. She canāt remember what food is in the fridge- she is afraid the food is spoiled (even though my sister goes through it and tells her itās fine). She canāt heat food, even with the microwave. She needs ā assistanceā in the truest sense of the word. And she wants none.
Got it. And her H was in effect doing some of that assistance and now he is locked up, so to speak. Probably your mom wouldnāt agree with your observations. Very difficult situation. Could her H be moved to a lesser phase and she move in with him?
He has actually been approved to go to regular assisted living, and will move once a room opens up. So yes, the totally logical, even nice, solution is for her to move in with him when he moves. She is so dug in against AL- because the son has pushed it so much - that if she moves to AL, the son will be ācontrollingā her.
There is no longer making a logical argument with her. In her mind, the lovely AL is the same as every gross nursing home she has ever seen. That is why we need to just move her there. She will be miserable at home, and miserable in AL, but in AL she will have meals (about which she will complain) and be more safe. She also has a chance for some nice times with her H.
But we donāt really know how to make it all happen.
MP once she is in AL she might realize it decreases her anxiety and she may settle down.
@missypie, is the son ok with dad and your mom moving in together? I vaguely recall that he had significant objections to that arrangement.
The son is fine with them living together, as long as itās in AL. He didnāt want his dad to live at Momās house.
People are weird.