RM, I’m a big believer in creating or finding a position that fits you. Staying in a bad situation is corrosive to the soul. I hope the review wasn’t that had.
MP, very odd and painful situation with you mother. Is this meds, a real loss of mental functioning out something else?
Returned from a really fun weekend in NY. ShawWife went to see Asian scrolls at the Met while I worked and saw scrolls from the area in China that we visited in May and which is influencing her new work. Then we went to a really creative fusion Korean restaurant – wonderful out-of-the-box food – and then to see Hamilton. I don’t like musicals generally, but this was so far beyond its genre, it was really impressive. The next day, we walked the Hi-Line, went to the Whitney and stumbled into a terrific tour, had a more standard Vietnamese meal before going to watch a comedy show at the Public Theater recommended by a friend’s daughter who does standup comedy. The comedian was a gay guy who would change onstage into various dresses and wigs and then do some fairly funny skits – some great and some so-so. We took my mother and brother out to lunch in NJ and then drove home.
We’ve been traveling so much until mid-August and then I left for Melbourne and London. After two days at home we left for NY. ShawWife didn’t do much food shopping while I was gone and so we didn’t have any food in the house. On the way home, we got to stop at my favorite store, Costco.
ShawSon has meetings in NY and will spend the weekend with us.
So was as I expected. Although perhaps worse as the bonus that I have had for the last 5 years not only do I not get any this year but they took it away from me entirely. So now my total package is a LOT less. Was with customers this week so didn’t have a chance to login until today. Thanks for all the well wishes. It is what it is. I let my new boss off the hook and didn’t really say much other than if there were issues they should have been addressed as they came up - since they weren’t letting me know about all the little things that “she” didn’t like was not fair and that those should have been addressed during the year and not during a review. To be truthful she wasn’t happy with me and so she dug up every little thing to make sure that I had a bad review. It’s over and trying to move on but I am still pursuing the other work.
Time for a new job, RM, either within the company or elsewhere. No reason to work for someone who doesn’t like you for whatever reason.
RM that is crazy and just mean. I agree, if you can change it would be better. I am glad you had an idea and were not blindsided.
Shaw - was “removed” from that project and boss in April - just the way our system works here she had a lot of input into my yearly review since I was with her for most of the year. New boss is better…but…
Came from a physical this morning and lets just say that my doctor was not happy. My blood pressure that has always been low is now high. She thinks I am over the top stressed. Currently it’s lose weight and calm down. Also wants me to take a sleep study as she thinks some of it could be due to sleep apnea. Oh and I have poison ivy - again…
Yikes! RM. Hopefully you will have a good weekend and relax. Sounds like you are waiting to see
if this new boss is enough of an improvement to stay.
D is on the countdown for due date. H and I are cooking and freezing as per their request.
Lots of work.
Realtor looking at house today. Seriously beginning to look at a change. I am in no way a packrat
(H would be if he was not married to me) yet after nearly 16 years here there is so much “stuff”.
14 bags out the door today.
Oregon - we have lived in our house for 34 years. Think about it. 
I don’t think at this point I COULD move. Just too much stuff and no I’m not a pack rat - husband sort of it.
Poison Ivy still coming out. Each day a new patch. I’m sick of feeling like I have ants crawling on me but I know it will be at least through this week and into next. Not my first time - sadly…
Dishwasher is now not working. Microwave bit the dust a couple of months ago. I didn’t want to really replace anything until we did the kitchen. I knew we should have done the kitchen before our bedroom but I couldn’t convince H of that.
Hi, everyone. A year ago I was in Florida experiencing Hurricane Irma. I am currently in Florida for work (flew here yesterday) and am scheduled to fly home Friday, except Hurricane Florence is headed for the Carolinas so I don’t know if I’ll make it. I’m scheduled to fly out of Charlotte next Monday to Calgary for a work assignment.
I have barely been home this summer. We got home Saturday night after 2.5 weeks in Europe. Had a fabulous time visiting D in London. We had incredible weather and she kept us incredibly busy and we saw a ton. Glad to be back at work so I can rest a little!
Good luck with getting out of Florida.
ShawSon had a business trip to NY and spent the long weekend with us. Great to see him. Looks great. I overheard some of his calls. Great to see his skills develop so much.
Attended a nice Rosh Hashanah party (that we host every few years) and ShawD and ShawSon both came. They hadn’t seen ShawSon in years. ShawD and two young female docs were talking medicine. Unlike ShawD they are also short. I wonder how hard it is for them to get taken seriously. I’ve run into one of them for years and no longer make the mistake of asking if she is an undergraduate. She’s actually finished her residency and is full-time at a high-end hospital. But, she looks pretty young.
Proof of life, here. I’ve cut back on work enough to have dinner with DH most nights, but still working hard. Turned away quite a few new clients even though they were fine with the much-increased fees. Finding my better work/life balance is key over these next few years. H is finally making noises about retiring, which means that it might happen in, oh, about 2 years. We’re fine if he retired tomorrow, but he’s not quite there yet. His company went public last year, so lots of organizational changes this year. As you might guess, he’s not a big change guy. They’re relocating headquarters (including software) to a trendy part of Denver (yes, there is such a thing) in December. We shall see. I’m not thinking that the adjacency of craft breweries will be enough to make him thrilled with the change.
D continues to work in Manhattan – five years at her company now and starting to poke her head up and consider options. She’s built a lot of good relationships with people who’ve moved on to other startups/companies, and they keep inviting her to move. We’ll see.
I am hoping that sometime this fall it will be possible to get trades folks/home improvement folks that would actually like to get work accomplished. We did get a nice landscaping project done this summer, but it is hard to get other folks to commit. Stashing away the money for when the inevitable bust hits and people come around finally looking at small remodeling jobs.
We’ve finally got fall weather after 90 degree plus last week. Still, better than hurricane flooding back in NC. My sister is in Wilmington and it still sounds awful. I guess it was named Cape Fear for a reason.
Hello. I’ve tried to keep up, but haven’t posted in ages.
My mom’s situation has gotten worse, if you can believe it. Her H’s son had him put in memory care. He has a touch of dementia but only a touch, but his son won’t allow him to even be in regular assisted living. It is so sad. The facility is lovely, but none of the other residents can carry on a conversation. Lots of non-verbal folks, and one who walks around with a baby doll, muttering to herself about completing an investigation. Mom is devastated and incredibly negative about everything.
I am going to have my eyes “done” in a couple of weeks. The uppers are covered by insurance and the lowers are cosmetic. There will be a lot of bruising so I will need to work from home for a week if not two. Although I am not ashamed of having a cosmetic procedure, I am tempted to tell my co-workers and clients (mostly male) that I am having a “small surgical procedure.” They will assume it’s a female thing and not ask any further questions. Thoughts?
D’s wedding is in March. Because there will be both a Hindu ceremony and a Christian ceremony, the event starts at 10 am and ends at 11 pm. We will have folks over for brunch on Sunday if they are still in town, but I want everyone to be gone by Sunday. I thought I would stay home from work Mon and Tues to clean up and recover, then H and I are going to Palm Springs Wed-Sat. WELL…that week will be my SIL’s spring break and she has invited herself to our house all that week (together with any of her kids who want to stay.) H said that was fine but that we would be gone Wed-Sat. She said that was fine. WHAT IS SHE THINKING? She is my favorite in law, but I am astounded that anyone would think we would want a house guest after a daughter’s wedding, much less a complicated wedding. I told H that this cannot happen.
Oh MP how awful for your mother - well and you because I"m sure that you will hear about it.
Best of luck on your D’s wedding. I’m sure it will be lovely even though it will be a long day! Not sure what you SIL is thinking. Has she not been a MOB before? Maybe she has no idea what goes into it.
Mostly recovered from the poison ivy. Now dealing with dry skin for the most part from the topical ointment they gave me. New boss is being very good - hopefully that will continue although I am still debating leaving. My issue is at most I have 29 months of work left - yes I am counting down. My one good friend here is retiring in 3-4 months although I don’t think anyone but me knows that yet. Without her here it will be difficult.
Not much else going on. Starting to figure out Thanksgiving plans with MIL - I hate going every year but it’s a “command” performance. Never any choice which I think bothers me most plus I really don’t get along with any of them. Sigh… I don’t know how my H managed to grow up and be normal coming from that family.
MP, looking forward to hearing about your eyes. I want to do mine but am not sure insurance will pay.
I may do it out of pocket. I was thinking the upper lids. What do they do to the lower? A few friends
have had the procedure and tell all. I had a breast reduction and a tummy tuck. I tell any woman if the conversation comes up about the breast reduction but rarely mention the tummy tuck. Probably because I am more overweight that I was before and would be embarrassed. I did not really have collogues at the time but my clients never
guessed.
So sorry about your mother and how awful for her H.
Not only what it your SIL thinking but what is your H thinking??? When D was married in 2017 there seemed to be expectations that we host the new in-laws. I had to be firm that it simply was not a possibility. H knew I would end up with the work and also that I had enough on my plate but still would have let it happen if I had not been clear. We are going through this again with the in-laws. D had her baby Saturday and they will be here next week. Somehow his family decided/expected that we would host them. I told D that I would if this was extremely important to her. It wasn’t and we simply invited them for dinner one night. Since this is your H’s family he needs to say no. If he cannot then you must. I promise you as much as your see the added stress it will be much worse that you can predict. If money is the problem for them I would find a nice airBnB or such and pay for it considering it a sanity gift to myself (and my marriage. I hate situations like this–situations that other
people create and they is no win for anyone.
RM 29 months! Let’s do a count down. I hope each month you will post the number left.
You must be younger than me :D. I no longer do anything just because it is expected and if I am inclined to do so I build the situation so that I get something out of it–such as staying at a nice hotel or stopping to see a sight or eat at a famous restaurant. Sure helps with the resentment. Sometimes my reward comes a few weeks later but at least it is something to look forward to. We are hosting Thanksgiving for 12. The in-laws will be here (not staying with us) and so feel we must. I sweetened it by inviting two of D and SIL’s friends who are among my favorite people in the world. They will be told and will follow through on taking care of the in-laws. I keep forgetting to tell D and SIL :). ( the in-laws are perfectly nice people but are not interesting to me and MIL body shames her other DIL which creates a serious ethical issue for me).
D had her baby after a long labor. The first two days he was the ugliest baby H and I had ever seen and then his swelling went down and he is a cute little boy. (only to be admitted here).
They are thrilled and doing a good job. D is exhausted and hurting from the birth. She has about decided a c-section would have not been any worse healing.
Great to hear from you, @arabrab . Was in Boulder briefly this summer for my retreat/hiking with my friend. It was hot then as well.
Denver seems both much nicer and a little self-impressed – got the speech about how it is now the best food city in the US (well OK, but they might want to visit NY). I got a similar speech in Portland, OR.
MP, Can’t fathom what your Mom’s husband’s soon has done.
RM, I would look elsewhere seriously.
Congrats on the little one Oregon. Grandkids are fun. We have my sons tonight so that they can go out and celebrate their 5th anniversary. 3 kids in 5 years!
Currently D is in the process of waiting to miscarry. So difficult for them but she is trying to see the positive. Was very early stages and they never actually saw the fetal pole - just the egg sack. H and I know and then one couple that they are close to but that is all. Her H is being very supportive in my opinion but he has indicated that maybe she needs to talk to a female about it. If nothing happens by Tues her doctor will again offer her other alternatives other than waiting for nature to take it’s course. Basically she has been at this stage since the end of Aug so seems to me something should be happening if it’s going to on it’s own - but then I’m not a health care professional so what do I know. She had it confirmed again this week as at first the dr. thought she might just be off with the dates.
If they have a baby in the future and she wants to work my 29 months may just get shorter. I feel that as the mother in law I miss a lot with my other grandkids. I know part of that is me working and their other grandmother stays home.
My ultimate time limit is to tell them 2 weeks prior to me turning 60. I told H that is the last I will do. I would like it to be sooner but we will see.
Congrats on the new grandson, @oregon101 !
Checking in - been busy traveling for work, or for pleasure. Barely been home since early July. Got to see/spend time with both kids this summer.
Been battling a cold for 2 weeks now - might try to see a doctor when I get home today (at the airport now). I’m thinking a cold shouldn’t last this long.
I’m working from home this upcoming week, which I’m looking forward to!
Enjoy hearing from all of you.
Seems like there is a low-grade flu going around. @college_query . I may have had it as part of a weird couple of days and ShawWife has heard that other people seem to have some of my symptoms.
I slept through the alarm for the first appointment of the day (something I never do) a couple of days ago and didn’t feel well that day. My next appointment was to get a cortisone shot for my shoulder – I fell while hiking in the Canadian Rockies this summer and apparently have lots of arthritis in this shoulder (possibly from a sports injury in college). After the shot and another meeting, I flew to NY (flight delayed 3+ hours), had a late dinner and started hiccuping for several hours. It would start and stop but keep coming back. Couldn’t get to sleep until 3 AM.
I woke up feeling off – a little groggy and a low-grade fever. I gave my talk at 9 AM to a distinguished audience (no hiccups fortunately) and I summoned my energy reserves and think did a pretty good job. One interesting thing: Someone who seemed to be affiliated indirectly with the Chinese government and is based in China (and may have flown to NY for this talk) sat down next to me after the talk and in an indirect form asked if I could help the Chinese government deal with Trump on the tariff issue. I demurred politely.
Anyway, that afternoon, the hiccups returned for hours (including my flight back home – also delayed 3+ hours). The hiccups and then fever have finally gone. Turns out the cortisone shot may be the cause of the hiccups.
RM, that is sad for your daughter and the whole family.
c_q, I had a cold that was so bad that I actually stayed home from work one day. So I’m guessing it may have been a low grade flu, as Shaw mentioned.
I’m despondent and distraught over what is happening right now in our country. I need an emotional support animal. I would love a cat/kitten. If I could have anything I wanted, it would be a kitten. Isn’t it pathetic that I’m 60 years old and pining away for a pet like I’m six? H adamantly does not want a pet, does not want a cat. He is the one who is home all day so I can’t do that to him…the compromises we make for marriage. Sorry, feeling whiney today.
RM so sad for your daughter and your family. That is a long time to have to wait …I hope it comes to a quick and healthy resolution.
I just got back from Ireland and England. At first I was not enthusiastic about the trip. I was not pleased that my husband booked it without consulting me on the itinerary. We went with another couple , with whom we have traveled before. We had a great time. Although there were times it was physically challenging for me. I noticed an improvement in my stamina as time went on. We stayed at some wonderful hotels and finished with a night in a manor house. We also ate at some lovely restaurants. it definitely is the way to go, if your husband tends to freak out about driving/directions. without a driver we would have been divorced!
I too need a comfort animal but my H is not on board. I have to settle for Hallmark movies!
We are planning my D’s wedding as well. 200 plus people. Just the basics have turned out to be quite pricey. Now that we are back we will focus on her wedding more. We are having an engagement luncheon soon. People are asking me for engagement gift ideas. I have no idea. We were not expecting gifts.
I am sad to be home because I don’t want to go back to work, I am highly disappointed I have not found a job. and was hoping when I came home , that I may have had some responses from applications I sent before I left. It is hard to get through the initial gleaning process, as I look like I have only a pediatric background I try to emphasize this in the cover letter… I am actually knowledgeable with adults and quite good with people. I don’t think my age helps either. I will retire before 60 as well, if there is no resolution. I had an interview at work , but it would have been too many days with a four hour commute. In addition, I heard that the group I interviewed with was rather weird to work with so I think I may have dodged a bullet.
Hello Ararab
Congrats Oregon on being a grandmother!
Shaw, I also have a cold after traveling. I think of you when I travel. I don’t know how you do it. CQ. I think airline travel makes colds worse.
Shaw you may have also had a fever from the shot.