<p>TM; how wonderful it would be if we had that crystal ball and could predict the outcome. how well would he have done so far away? Don’t beat yourself up you are a great mom. I’ll keep rooting for the walk. I am so sorry for all this stress.</p>
<h1>TM that totally sucks that S can’t get the recognition for all he’s accomplished. I think most parents have regrets of what we could have done better in school, but as long as your S can walk and participate, the awards ceremony won’t be even a blip in his life. My S had a hideous 4th grade teacher…she recommended he apply to a highly gifted private school, S tested for it, applied, visited, and it turned out the same teacher sent a letter to the school NOT recommending him. She was horrible, pointed out the kids of single parents DURING a parent night, no support…my S wanted to transfer out, but I held fast to my “it is was it is, learn to live with it” attitude. To this day, I can pinpoint that teacher to when S stopped giving a s*^t in school.</h1>
<p>That said, in the big picture of life, the boys will be okay. So he doesn’t go to the awards ceremony, not a big life deal breaker…hopefully he’ll be able to walk and go on the trip. Try, try, try not to be discouraged, but focus on what IS possible and the great college experience ahead of him.</p>
<p>Shedding some tears with you…</p>
<h1>theorymom…please do not start the blame game!!! You are too good of a mom to do that to yourself!!! You are stepping up to the plate and getting things together and it looks like he will get the diploma in time…the rest is just frosting…nice, sweet and not necessary! I have faith in you and S! Keep the big picture in mind! I know that moms always have those doubts and our lives are filled with “what ifs” but look at what your S HAS accomplished! I’ll pass the tissues for your tears and cry with you but I know that those tears will refocus you to help your S get through this rough patch. Stay strong! More {{{hugs}}}!</h1>
<h1>theorymom – it really is a rollercoaster, isn’t it? the exhilaration of hope – and the letdown of what is. I’m sorry – I know we all are – for this disappointing turn of events, and for the heaviness it brings to you. We’re still rooting for the walk!</h1>
<p>oh and here is another example of how the school is. In AP Bio they did an entire section and lab while S was gone for that week visiting colleges. It was a lab with live critters that did not live until he got back so he could not do the lab. Plus he missed the quizzes and he could not take the exam because he did not know the material, having missed it- all of this has brought that grade down to a D. If he had been able to complete those things, he would have a B-(probably) and certainly nothing less than a C+. I thinka B is the highest grade in the class, it is sooo hard. This D on top of the other D in the SS course he just handed the 2 projects in to, will tank his GPA. I sure hope his college looks the other way.
Good news is he got 100% on both English papers he handed in (<em>I</em> would not have given him 100% if I was grading them, but hey, we’ll take it)
one foot in front of the other</p>
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<p>This is what counts in the end. Just keep a laser focus on that goal and hang in there. There will be plenty of time to do a “what have I learned from all this” recap afterward. And if he doesn’t get the diploma, you know it won’t be for any lack of effort on your part.</p>
<p>Hi Theorymom- I wish I could help you, and that your S could get the recognition he deserves. Know I am thinking of both of you and sending hugs to both of you. I’m on your side.</p>
<h1>theory, it is ridiculous that they won’t let him be in the awards ceremony-who does it hurt to have him there? who does it benefit to exclude him?</h1>
<p>BUT, if it really can’t be changed, don’t mention the ceremony around the house again. If it were my son, I would care a lot and he wouldn’t care at all. If I would mention it repeatedly, he might start to care.</p>
<h1>TM - my heart just aches reading about what you and your S are going through - I can relate to a certain extent - I know my D has probably lost out on some scholarship consideration (and big hit in class rank) because of a ding on her transcript (last year’s math teacher factored in a zero because D had a migraine the day of an exam and would not budge), but what you guys are going through is so much worse. There has to be room for reasonable accomodations…</h1>
<p>Last “formal” jazz concert last night - they play at the big fest in Rochester next month and the local festival in town, but that’s it. I ran into D’s teammate who is this year’s class president and asked her if she started thinking about what she is going to say in her speech at graduation - she replied “well, the administration meets with us and tells us what they want us to talk about” - excuse me??? Talk about control - people might disagree with me here but I think a student should be able to talk about anything he or she wants in a graduation speech, it has to come from the heart. Maybe the school had a bad experience in the past or something…I don’t think they would have anything to worry about with the speech givers this year but oh well…</p>
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<p>I would bet on it!</p>
<h1>TM: No words of wisdom here. Just lots of warm thoughts and prayers going your way.</h1>
<p>I decided I wasn’t going to view ANY of the events as “lasts”. Makes me too sad. I was doing just fine until this AM. Today is the first day of our State track meet. It will be my daughters last run as a high school athlete. We are down to the last 7 days of school. The ceremonies are piling on top of each other. So far, the recognition events haven’t been too emotional, maybe a moment of nostalgia, but mostly ok. I believe it’s the music that is going to do me in.</p>
<p>Earlier somebody posted, it’s the details of their daughter’s life that they will miss. That is totally it! I know my daughter will do wonderful in college. I know she will continue to be the person she has always been and make great choices. I know she will befriend the other unique and special kids. I know she will continue to work hard and study hard. This is who she is! I know she will run again in college, …it’s just that I won’t be able to witness the details. This is so painful.</p>
<h1>TM, I think we’re all pretty invested in your situation, and our collective shoulder isn’t going anywhere! I can’t understand why they won’t let your S attend the awards ceremony–he already earned those awards! Ugh!</h1>
<p>D is watching movies in AP World, but has to write 2 page papers on two of them (Cinderella Man yesterday), doing the cat dissection lab in AP Bio, writing a research paper in AP English, and still doing work in AP Calc. The pace is much slower and she is much happier. Prom Saturday night!</p>
<h1>TM I think its rediculous they won’t let your S paricipate in the awards night. Schools are so petty about things. Seems to me that it’s always better to be more inclusive. Just keep focusing on the graduation and hopefully you can make it.</h1>
<p>We have 1 real day of school left. Today D (who is still asleep) has to go in at 1:10 for 20 minutes to complete some paperwork and get her cap and gown. Tomorrow the other 3 projects are due. 1 is done, 1 will be finished before she gets to school today and hopefully the other later today (the teacher did say they can turn in next week). She works all weekend, then Tuesday we have to go to Detroit for an appointment for a study she has been involved in (its the end of the study for her and her dad) and Wednesday she has no school. Thursday they have a Senior activity day and Friday is graduation rehearsal. DH is taking his laptop for the drive to Detroit so she can work on her speech in the car. That’s the thing I’m most concerned about at this point.</p>
<p>My HS kids are not in school today. Today is the “Betty Buckley Awards”, our county’s version of the Tony Awards. Their musical was nominated for Best Musical, so they get to perform the “big number” from the show. (They’ve been nominated several times before, so when the musical closed last February, everyone hoped that it wasn’t the end of it and it wasn’t.) They rehearse at the theatre this morning, then go for Mexican food, then see a 3-D movie, then return to the theatre for the show. After they change out of their costumes, they dress in gowns, etc. for the rest of the show. </p>
<p>We are going this year - we never have before, but with two kids in the show, it will be fun to see (plus, we get to see numbers from 5 other HS shows.) Funny thing is, since it’s the big production number, the “ensemble” (aka my singing, tapping kids) is featured more than the stars of the show, who mostly just watch the dancing.</p>
<h1>TM, I have narrow shoulders, but a big butt–does that help? Cry all you want!</h1>
<p>Seriously, your son’s situation is heartbreaking, because one of the hardest things to do as a parent is let your child fail and know they will learn from it. I see young parents (and older ones) take great personal pains to make sure their children never fail at anything, never receive criticism, etc, and those children are NOT well-served. It is much easier as a parent to make everything “nice” for our kids, but it doesn’t do them any real-life favors. You are now having to choose from watching an epic fail helplessly and watching some life-lesson failures, while not letting it spiral out of control. The saddest hing is that the adult leaders at your school seem to be so intent on the rules that they’re losing the human being in your son. I hate that kind of inflexibility, and feeel the awards ceremony would be great for him to attend, and would probably bolster his confidence to get some of this other stuff done. At any rate, it is a joyous time and a painful one for we parents of seniors, but I think we’re all united in making sure our seniors can soar in life, no matter how hard it is for us to let them go.</p>
<p>On a lighter note, I just printed the College Board’s Off-To-College Checklist. They recommend that you send your kid off with 21 pairs of socks and **21 **pairs of underwear. I guess they’re assuming that kids, on average, will do the laundry every 3 weeks?!</p>
<p>My D would pack 21 pairs of underwear for a long weekend.</p>
<p>S had nice chats today with bio teacher and GC. GC said they will allow him to go to awards ceremony because his SS teacher confirmed he handed some things in. phew</p>
<p>Bio teacher said they are not covering anything in class now since the AP Test was taken and he will give him all the rest of the month to complete the missing work. (this won’t keep him from graduating though)</p>
<p>So it is all in S’s court in Bio. At least he can do the quizzes and the test, if not the lab. His teacher says he needs to ask for help if he needs it, that he’ll help him if he asks (he has GOT to learn to do that)</p>
<p>And meanwhile I’ll keep him plugging away on his English compositions. I think one of the best things I did in terms of helping him with this is to make out a schedule. I listed what assignment he will do next and each day. I started with easiest and we are working up to hardest instead of chronological order. This seems to be more appealing to him. </p>
<p>Had he asked for help back when each was due, it would have been SO much easier for him (the teacher had a schedule lined out that was doable if he had asked for help with the wiriting.) Now that it is all piled up until the end and S sees his dreams possibly flitting away, he is begrudgingly accepting some help. </p>
<p>Geez why don’t they ask?</p>
<p>I have my own ideas about that. I think they don’t ask because they don’t want to show their weakness, they would rather look like they just don’t care than let anyone see that they might not be brilliant in everything. I have a phone call into the psychologist - no call back yet. Maybe if he is given a 'reason" why he has these troubles he will learn that he needs to be proactive. It may make him try to hide it even more though.</p>
<p>Anyway, as usual, things look a bit better in the light of day. S is confident he will walk with his class, he found out he WILL get to do the awards ceremony (he called me from school to tell me), and his possibility for getting the English done looks good - at the moment. So I raise my cup of coffee to you all for helping me make it through the long night.</p>
<p>And I’ll just keep putting one foot in front of the other</p>
<p>theorymom—hope all the kind words already offered have helped you to not blame yourself in this…I was wondering if you had talked with the administration at the school~now I realize this may have already occurred, but if not, I think it would help if you let them hear your perspective and possibly your input on the situation and what might help. For example did they know he was working hard to complete those papers, (which he did so well on) and that he needs to stay positive and focused in order to pull off the rest of it…as Missypie said–who does it hurt if they let him receive his already earned awards, and who does it hurt if they supported his success at this point, so he could continue to accomplish the rest.</p>
<p>cross posted w you tm</p>
<p>so glad to see they will let him go to the awards ceremony. I would hope that being honored will inspire your s to keep plugging away…and feel a part of the graduating class. </p>
<p>I always think positive reinforcement works better than punishment</p>