<p>Thanks Snowflake (although weren’t you talking about University of Montana? DH loves Missoula!). (I’m keying in on that “excellent merit aid”!) Let us know how your son’s search/decision goes. Hearing from Class of 2012 seniors who are somewhat similar academically is very helpful.</p>
<p>HeavyLidded - Hahah, thank you! 
familyof3boys - Thank you SO much! I’ll get some questions together and send them your way. Greatly appreciated!</p>
<p>I wish “Love the kid on the couch” mantra would work for us. We have done everything, but S2 has decided school is waste of time, especially the subjects he does not like. The problem with him is that he is very teacher specific. If he likes the teacher, he may put a little extra effort, if he does not like the teacher, then he puts no effort. from a 3.3 he is not moving towards a 3.0.</p>
<p>Great comfort in this thread…</p>
<p>I posted awhile ago and have not been on lately. I really needed to be reassured that I am not the only one with a S that thinks school is a waste of time and homework is for other people. I do love the kid on the couch, but some days it is easier than others. </p>
<p>Mazewanderer - my son will also only do work for teachers he likes, somehow he thinks getting bad grades is punishing the teacher - haven’t figured this logic out yet. </p>
<p>We are off to Kansas for spring break to visit three schools - all have shown interest in him because he is a great golfer. I am trying to let the ship sail where it may but…trying to steer him away from schools where he is academically borderline. </p>
<p>A school in Washington state if very interested in him and I’m sure he could get a golf scholarship - I am leery of scholarships that require him to keep his GPA over a 3.0. This is a private school with a $60K pricetag so I don’t want to tell him he has to transfer because we can’t afford to pay full freight at a private should his grades slip below the required GPA. </p>
<p>I’m stressed already and it is only January. </p>
<p>We have visited some schools in Texas already so I guess I just have to keep at it - hoping the process gets easier. I feel like I am dragging him through the last 4 months of junior year, begging him to keep his grades up etc. etc. </p>
<p>Sorry for the vent **** maybe a sunnier disposition is right around the corner</p>
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<p>I have one of those too. He has to like both the subject and the teacher to make more than the minimum effort.</p>
<p>^^^^^</p>
<p>Me, too! DS is a junior, and his HS transcript has a noticeable ‘downward’ trend, so much so that I hope his GPA stays above 3.0! Says most of his courses are a waste of time, so refuses to study for tests, etc. and will do even worse if he doesn’t like the teacher.</p>
<p>I’ve been watching this thread closely, but I think for me the time has come to realize that unless his attitude changes drastically, even if a school accepts him, he’s not ready. He’ll need some more time to mature and find his motivation.</p>
<p>Yup, Got a slacker boy-child here too. Capable and smart, but poor grades are always his teacher’s fault. Ughh. He has an upward trend this year, though, due to his liking several of his current teachers. </p>
<p>How will it go next year? That is THE question. If he’s ‘turned on’ then it may go very well, but we are still uncertain…</p>
<p>P.S. Simpkin, I feel we are compatriots, and I am pulling for your son.</p>
<p>I still have faith…although I’ve been saying the homework train is going to hit him since he was a freshman. </p>
<p>I have a friend that is a psychologist at the local hospital, she thinks he is just immature and to be patient, another year may make all the difference. (here is hoping)</p>
<p>I am trying to fill his junior and senior year with dual credit courses. So far he has A’s in these classes (go figure)…this will allow him to take only 12 units each semester his first year while he is “adjusting” and still allow him to graduate on time in 4 years. </p>
<p>My daughter (other end of the spectrum student) had 18 units of dual credit and she is going to graduate in 3 years as a result. She only took 12 units the years she took organic chemistry - took a lot of pressure off her and allowed her to keep her high GPA. </p>
<p>I am following the same strategy for my S…obviously for different reasons. </p>
<p>He just took the SAT on Saturday, hoping for the best. He was in the hospital 2 days last week so may not have been his best showing…I’m hoping its good enough because I will have to drag him kicking and screaming to take it again.</p>
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<p>Please let me know when you figure that out -
My S thinks that if the teacher is bad, the subject is not worth learning. Again, bad is in his judgement and teacher who is very demanding is automatically bad</p>
<p>Right now, DS informs me not to worry, that he will do enough not to be put on academic probation (if he’s on probation, he can’t do sports), which will mean he will do just enough not to get a D. He thinks I’m supposed to find comfort in that. No reading of his history chapters, English books, chemistry, Spanish, etc. and his ‘studying’ for the day means he’ll just complete the written homework that he has. He doesn’t see the value in any of his courses at all, and can’t see how he’ll use any of it in his now profession of choice, which is physical therapy. Even if I tell him that his math class is a pre-req for PT school. He’s not the type who can just ace a test from just doing HW or paying attention in class, so his tests grades are low Cs and Ds. Consistent homework and an occasional good grade here and there keeps him now at low Cs. </p>
<p>Taking the ACT in two weeks, but no preparation for that. </p>
<p>It’s sad, because he wants to continue his sport in college, and has had interest from several coaches, but his GPA is too low for those schools, and he has been told he won’t get admitted. </p>
<p>But even with this information, he’s continuing on as usual, believing it will all work out. As much as I’ve tried to introduce some boundaries or structure, he’ll resist by being further self-destructive (If I took him out of his sport, for example, and told him he needed to get better marks to be put back in, his response is just to do worse)</p>
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<p>:)</p>
<p>skrlvr, same issues here, but no sports to motivate! Same breezy optimism that “it will all work out,” often ending in panic and disaster (“I forgot to write the paper that’s due today!”). I have serious concerns about how this is going to play out in college but I don’t think staying home is the right answer either. </p>
<p>Oh and he told me today that he is very interested in one of the colleges that accepted him because one of his friends was also accepted there. This particular friend was a contributing factor to my thinking that S should go AWAY to school . . . . sigh.</p>
<p>It’s nice to know I’m not alone here. Funny, a couple of week ago he did the same thing with a Spanish project. I watched him go from being the top student in his 8th grade middle school graduating class, to a more As than Bs student in 9th, more Bs than As in 10th, and now feel lucky that he is just passing his classes with Cs. I’ve asked why he’s made the decision not to study, and he just walks away.</p>
<p>His teachers have told him that he will regret the choices he has made. </p>
<p>I do see your situation, simpkin. I don’t think it would be good at all for this kid to stay at home after HS ends, but at the same time I honestly can’t see him succeeding in college if he doesn’t figure out why he’s so unmotivated now.</p>
<p>I’d like to join this group. Son’s GPA is higher (for now at least) then 3.3, but his attitude seems to match the boys mentioned on the last day of posts. And his grades go down each year. </p>
<p>He has an A+ in AP Calc AB, rumored hardest course in school. The teacher is a young Princeton grad who “accidentally” dual majored in Physics and Theology. Teacher lived overseas as a child and had many unique experiences. Son finds him fascinating, so he does well. Son’s required essay 1 trimester course is much like grade school – Hand in the nightly homework essay, auto. an A. Guess what class he is failing? Yup. </p>
<p>Like some others here, I have no idea if college is right for him. He believes it will all work out & I’m a stressed miserable person. Obviously, if I just relaxed his grades will self-inflate. And he reminds me many less academically inclined have gone to college. </p>
<p>I’ll be lurking here quite a bit. Sorry to say, but it does help to know my son is not the only one with this attitude.</p>
<p>Hello All,</p>
<p>I got a book from the library that I must share with parents of sons (and daughters) who are lacking in organization skills… </p>
<p>“That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week (Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Succeed in School and Life”) by Ana Homayoun </p>
<p>She’s an education consultant who has apparently worked with lots of children who she describes as “smart, witty, thoughtful, and/or brilliant [who] can’t remember to turn in his homework and is failing several classes.”</p>
<p>I’ve only just begun reading, but it has been eye-opening, specifically in regards to how we as parents can make things worse depending on the way that we “help” our kids.</p>
<p>Longhaul, Welcome aboard!</p>
<p>I can’t tell you how much better I feel to know I’m not alone with my S. I should be used to it by now, but I am constantly amazed by how he keeps saying he knows what he needs to do to get his grades up and will do it and continues to not do so (i.e. not doing his homework - just not doing it). This has been going on since elementary school. The only reason he is not failing any classes is because he does so well on tests. His counselors have pointed out on countless occasions that since he gets all A’s and some B’s on his finals, he should be an A/B student, not a B/C student. Yet he continues down the same road. I’ve raised the local junior college as a potential post-high school destination and he flips out and says he won’t go there, but doesn’t do anything to turn things around. We’ve seen social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, executive dysfunction counselors, etc, etc, to no avail. He is a very bright, clever, funny, kind, likeable guy. I just don’t know what to do anymore.</p>
<p>You know, reading the rest of CC, one could easily get the impression that the world of colleges consists of HYP and other highly-selective colleges . . . and community college. But in fact, there are hundreds of really nice colleges that are more than happy to accept the B/C student and maybe even give him a scholarship. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how many acceptances my son has received.</p>
<p>Simpkin, I totally agree. And they are schools we’d be very happy for him to attend!</p>
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<p>I could have written this. Just like your kid, only mine does the HW but doesn’t bother with the tests or reading, so he does poorly on the tests.</p>
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<p>Another exact quote from my S. He says he knows what he must do, but then refuses to do it.</p>
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<p>Similar here, except I teach at a non-flagship state U, and have suggested that he live at home and come here, and I get the same flip out.</p>
<p>I’m sure many here will also say that their kid does fine on standardized tests. My kid’s PSAT puts him in the 95 percentile. So yeah, not CC ‘good’, (which seems to be that if you don’t get above 210, then there’s not hope) but a decent mark, and clearly not consistent with his GPA.</p>
<p>Update to post #144:</p>
<p>Now I see why people commented on U. of Montana after my entry. I meant to say my son applied to and was accepted at Montana State:</p>
<p>Old entry: U. of Montana: Accepted, excellent merit awarded as OOS applicant
Correct entry: Montana State U.: Accepted, excellent merit awarded as OOS applicant</p>
<p>My son was getting brochures from both, but my son visited Montana State and only appled there.</p>
<p>Okay, so a funny story about my disorganized kid: I was just going through son’s desk for paperwork needed to file taxes. Guess what I found? A check (uncashed) from his summer job! </p>
<p>I didn’t find what I was looking for, but I did find a (hilarious!) complaint letter about a teacher that son and his friend’s apparently wrote together about her assigning too much homework. I’m guessing that it was never sent… 
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