<p>My D’s school has this “award” to students who all three years get straight As. She is trying hard to get that. She’s been getting all As. but this last term she is not doing well in two subjects, probably she’s tired, distracted… She still has hope to pull her grades up to As in these last 1.5 weeks. They also had high school math test yesterday, will have HS French test some time soon.</p>
<p>@tutor and all, I really hope
. Parents with older kids - do you find it’s true? please say yes!!!</p>
<p>^^ both of my older son’s did better in HS than in middle school. And my oldest just finished his freshman year of college and he did better there than he did in high school.</p>
<p>S1 just finished second year of college@ University of Maryland College Park. S2 will be starting college in the fall @ University of North Carolina Chapel Hill. D will start high school in the fall (9th grade, public HS in one of the top public districts in the nation).</p>
<p>High school is … different. Our public high school pulls from a wider area than our middle school, so socially it can be a new experience. There are many more extracurricular opportunites, a much wider academic range and choice of classes, many more choices to make. It CAN BE a place for many positive changes. I can’t say that it IS a positive change.</p>
<p>My own opinions, based on our experiences are:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Encourage your child to join SOMETHING right away. Even better if he joins before the start of the school year. Could be a fall sport that starts tryouts a few weeks before school starts. Could be something like marching band (ours practices a couple of times in the spring, then starts in earnest a few weeks before school starts.) Could be an academic team, or student government, or drama. But it makes the transition easier if your child has already met a few new classmates before they start school, or meets some right away at the beginning of their freshman year.</p></li>
<li><p>Freshman grades COUNT! We’ve known too many kids who just don’t get get that. It is much harder to bring up a lousy first year’s GPA than it is to maintain a good one. It can be a tough transition to high school, so if you aren’t absolutely positive that your child can really handle the work of all high level classes right away, it is better to start off with a less rigerous schedule, and add higher level (honors, GT, AP) classes as a sophomore. </p></li>
<li><p>Most colleges are looking for an upward trend when they look at transcripts. (Of course, they would love to see a 4.0 GPA in the most rigorous classes available, but that isn’t realistic for most kids.) In my experience, colleges would rather see a child start out with great grades in maybe a mix of regular and honors and GT classes as a freshman (or all regular level classes), and then see a trend of great grades in increasingly more challenging classes. For example, they prefer to see A’s in 9th grade regular English, B’s in 10th grade honors English, A’s or B’s in 11th grade Honors or GT English, and A’s or B’s in 12th grade AP English. They look less favorably at: C in 9th grade GT English, C in 10th Grade GT English, B in 11th grade honors English, and C in 12 grade AP English. </p></li>
<li><p>Therefore, encourage your child to create a schedule that allows him to be appropriately challenged. Not too easy, but also not too hard, especially at first. Your child should be able to breathe and enjoy life! In the end, my three children will have attended the same high school, but will not have had the same academic experience because they are different kids.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Having said all that, High School was a very positive experience for my two oldest children. They took classes that challenged them appropriately, participated in sports and music at high levels, and had time to enjoy life. Both are/will be attending the colleges that were their top choices.</p>
<p>That’s encouraging. 
Hopefully as they grow older and more mature, they learn how to take responsibilities. For smart kids, that’s actually all they need to do well in school, isn’t it?</p>
<p>And Pinotnoir and eastcoascrazy, thanks for sharing your experience and the advice!</p>
<p>tutor—thanks for the “Watson” link, enlightening and a bit scary too</p>
<p>as far as the high school transition—yeah, what east coast said </p>
<p>Unfortunately D1 didn’t really find many school ECs that interested her, she had passions and a job outside of school which certainly didn’t help being integrated with the social part of HS but also definitely did not hurt her education/good grades or college process. Ours is a public rural HS and she didn’t really enjoy it much until the last couple years when she found more of her “group” in the AP classes.
D2 (2015) is very active in sports and has already a “connect” since she’s been practicing at the high school for 2 years !</p>
<p>A friend (and fellow erstwhile teenage nerd) pointed me to this brilliant essay that explains a lot about what goes on in middle school and high school: [Why</a> Nerds are Unpopular](<a href=“Paul Graham”>Why Nerds are Unpopular).</p>
<p>Mihcal, the beginning of that article is spot on for my life experience.<br>
“If someone had offered me the chance to be the most popular kid in school, but only at the price of being of average intelligence (humor me here), I wouldn’t have taken it…Much as they suffer from their unpopularity, I don’t think many nerds would. To them the thought of average intelligence is unbearable.”
The ending of the article is plain scary, though!
S12 is very smart and is a good looking guy who is big enough and popular “enough” not to be picked on anymore, but middle school was tough for him on the bullying front. D15 is much more into the popularity game or maybe just is female–I worry because she is just as smart as S but more willing to hide it or act ditzy in an attempt to be part of the cool crowd.<br>
I am glad she is going to an academically challenging high school while most of her “cool” peer/frenemies are going to a different, less challenging school by their own choice. Who does that? I kind of understand the reasoning–they want to work less and rank higher and that is certainly possible at the less regarded school, but when did it come to be about ranking as opposed to the better education? That being said, who am I to say the lower ranked school is less of an education?
That probably raises an interesting topic for all of us–is it better to rank lower at a highly regarded school or higher at a less regarded school? This goes for colleges as well as high schools. Of course, ideally you rank high at the “better” school, but given the choice…???</p>
<p>Many of you may have seen this article by Stephanie Tolan, but it is worth a cite. I found it very helpful in understanding my gifted kids and advocating for their education.
[Is</a> It a Cheetah?](<a href=“http://www.stephanietolan.com/is_it_a_cheetah.htm]Is”>Is It a Cheetah?)</p>
<p>Read the “nerd” piece (thanks mihcal1). Makes sense based on what we know about peer influence. Here are my husband’s comments, </p>
<p>“It pretty much jibes with my recollections. Fortunately I went to a H.S. filled with nerds (Steyvesant in NYC) so that an uber-nerd was the most popular kid in school and nerds like me weren’t ostracized outcasts. And even in junior high I went when they still segragated the ‘1’ class, so most of the kids in my immediate class were nerds as well.”</p>
<p>This highlights another failure of our public schools: forcing everyone into the same classes in the name of “equality” and generally lowering the standards to appease parents and massage egos (parents, teachers, kids, politicians). I think this is one reason that private schools do a better job with less money. There is much more peer pressure to succeed academically than in the typical public school.</p>
<p>Wow - that guy articulates exactly what I’ve thought about kids who do or don’t fit in during middle school & high school. Great article - thanks, mihcal!</p>
<p>That [nerd</a> essay](<a href=“Paul Graham”>Why Nerds are Unpopular) really resonated with my own experience! </p>
<p>My family moved from a blue coller working class community to a university town the summer that I was between 8th and 9th grade. I realized that I had the opportunity to leave behind my outcast middle school years and turn over a new leaf socially. </p>
<p>It was work! I spent all my babysitting money on new clothes, and learned to feather my hair into a Farrah Fawcett flip. I tried out for the cheerleading team. I figured out who the cool kids were and schmoozed them. I figured out who they were bullying, and picked on them too. My star was rising!</p>
<p>But … cheerleading (and the other cheerleaders) were dumb. Clothes shopping and hair magazines were boring. Teasing dweebs was embarrassing. The cute Varsity boys didn’t want anything to do with us freshmen, and the JV boys were awful. </p>
<p>It only took me a couple of weeks to drop out of cheerleading and start hanging out with the nerds and stoners in the math quad. Their conversations were a lot more interesting – it’s more fun to tease one-another if you can use highfalutin’ vocabulary. They didn’t mind that I was a cheerleading dropout – most of them had dropped out of various things too – and they didn’t shun me if I got an A on a test. Best of all, since I wasn’t spending endless hours curling my hair and doing makeup and gossiping about boys, I had time to read and learn stuff in (and beyond) my classes again. </p>
<p>Luckily, I am raising my kids in a community where education is respected and there are plenty of academically inclined nerdy kids. So many, in fact, that I think Paul Graham’s demographic analysis (the pear-shaped distribution) breaks down. Also, we have many teachers that work hard to actually teach the kids, and hold them to high stands. The administration is pro-active about setting behavioral expectations, nipping bullying in the bud, and celebrating all kinds of accomplishments (academic, arts, and sports). Our HS is far more than just a daily warehouse. And my kids are quite happy to define themselves as nerds without being unduly bothered by social ostracism. </p>
<p>My teenage “nerd” experience was isolating, but bearable because I chose it. My kids’ “nerd” experience is, to them, just regular old happy everyday life.</p>
<p>My S’15 just got his work permit so he’s all set for pool duty this summer! </p>
<p>I think if the choice is less than being the top of the top school that it is better to excel at the lesser school rather than be seen as average at the top school. But it really all depends on where your final aim is. If it is the top schools, then take the lesser path and make it shine like gold - stand out! In this area we have one of the top regard HS that you have to apply to and D1 ('10) didn’t want to go that route but instead made the most and a more personalized plan in our local school (which is also a great school). I think she did much better in admission than if she had gone the other route and in fact her best friend went to the top magnet and was a good but not amazing student. She had fine acceptances but fell short on some she really wanted, and they weren’t the tippy top schools either. That was where I think being good among great wasn’t a positive. But she also wouldn’t trade the experience for anything and ended up at a great school so it all really depends.</p>
<p>One key thing to look at is what your child wants to focus on and how flexible their schedule will be. My D1 opted not to go to the magnet because of their set schedule that was great but not exactly what she wanted. Instead she was able to design a great plan that worked for her. Sure it took some work and we had to get the admins to just believe that it would work but in the end she was happy and the school learned there was more than the set paths they had available.</p>
<p>The nerd article is very interesting. My D. says she is proud to be a nerd. (she went to CTY camp last year, will go again this year. They call the camp “the nerd camp” with pride.) However, I don’t think she really is. She pays attention to her looks, cloths, etc. much more than a “nerd” does. That’s certainly peer pressure. When she was at CTY she wasn’t like that - granted it’s a year ago. But I have a feeling this year when she goes to CTY she will be back to her old self for a while. My S. can’t care less. Boys are girls are so different - at least in our case they are. </p>
<p>The band situation in HS is tricky. Several kids I know (esp. girls) who are already in HS will quit band next year to concentrate on academics. They tell me if they take band as a class, they’re required to do marching band. The marching band practice once a week in the evening, then of course when there’re games the marching band is busy. As for now, D. signed up for band. Musical instrument is her strong hand. </p>
<p>She has been asking herself and me if it’s worth to do band. I encourage her to stay in it. She is a really good musician. I can see music as her life time hobby, even though she is certain she will not major music in college. </p>
<p>Sometimes I’m not sure about this though, esp. when I heard my friends’ kids in HS quitting after many years in band.
Anybody else doing band? What’s the time commitment in your school as a band member? (Our HS marching band practice only once a week. some other schools in our area practice 5 times a week! )</p>
<p>^^^ My D2012 has done orchestra all the way through HS and there have been lots of trade-offs. She has had to do summer school every summer in order to hold a class period free for the orchestra class. She is ineligible for top class rank because the music classes don’t offer a GPA boost (so she is below the kids who took a second honors science class or more APs). And, from time to time, her academic grades take a hit because the music commitments cut into study time or conflict with extra credit opportunities.</p>
<p>My D2015 has looked at what her older sister has been through and decided not to tryout for the HS dance team. At our school they practice before school every day and after school twice a week, plus attending all home games and pep assemblies. (It’s the same schedule as our marching band.) It just conflicts with too many other things she wants to do. So she’s going to skip it and continue dancing with her non-school-affiliated private studio instead.</p>
<p>Schools do not make it easy to pursue music or theater or art. Sports are hard too, but sometimes it seems like there is more accommodation made for athletes.</p>
<p>D has been changed these days. I think she really wants to get all As. Because she slacked off, so it’s a real challenge to get her science back up. Nice to see her work hard and discuss science questions with us. Another thing we did is to force her wear her watch everyday to school. Hope she’ll have better sense of time. </p>
<p>Herandhismom and mihcal, Glad you brought up this issue - I’ve heard some talking that if you want to go to a top college like an ivy, you should pretty much forget about band or orchestra in school, to stay competitive academically. I guess it means not missing any chance of taking an honor class, etc. Is it really true? My d. would be so disappointed if it is. She likes to do band, but she also really wants to go to a top college. We’ve been telling her if she keeps things organized, maybe she can do band while still keep high ranking in school so she might have chance to go to a college of her choice. It’ll be hard though – we just found out one of her failing science lab was because she was pulled out for band and the science teacher didn’t let her make up after she went back from band. (Well if she was quick, she would have finished everything, but she must not be concentrating as she should have.) Kind of upsetting.
Anyway, I’d really like to hear other people’s experience about band/orchestra/music in school. If a person is not going to major in music in college, and she wants to be competitive in college app, should she not do band in school?</p>
<p>I think it’s just the opposite. The tippy top kids in our local HS are all involved with music. Certainly freshman year is a great time to see what you’re made of by trying everything. </p>
<p>My d’12 is at our math and science magnet, which is residential. D’15 was just accepted, but will defer for next year and try out the local HS with it’s great orchestra program. In some ways our local HS is less flexible, and in other ways allows for more flexibility. </p>
<p>I’m still sweating about what D’15 is doing this summer. Her daytime summer school class was canceled and her best friend is moving out of state. And she must take an evening summer school course to qualify for an advanced science class. I worry that she will get bored and lonely. It’s so late in the game to find a slot somewhere!</p>
<p>Wow, that cheetah article really hit home–especially “intensity, passion, high energy, independence, moral reasoning, curiosity, humor, unusual interests and insistence on truth and accuracy – are considered problems that need fixing.” D2 has so many of these traits and even MYSELF, her mother, wants to ‘fix them’ sometimes…when I’m tired and just not up to her energy, independence and insistence on truth/accuracy/doing her absolute best. Which is terrible as I should be encouraging most of these traits, or at least very supportive.</p>
<p>IJustDrive–what do you mean by “a slot somewhere”?</p>