@readingclaygirl, I remember you mentioning that your roommate was stressing out about a lot. Everyone deals with this change differently. It’s nice to have someone to talk to.
Apparently, all is now well with D16 and her plan to earn the needed grades in her math course. Time will tell. So, I’m closing that file in my mom-worries brain. Thanks for holding my hand through this, all!
@mommdc She’s doing a million times better. We were laughing over some of her early texts home last night because she has come so far.
Just facetimed with S; the dog wasn’t so terrified this time. She actually seemed to like hearing his voice.
@mstomper glad your dog wasn’t terrified. My dog loves it, last time he pawed the phone. It was so sweet
DS is very happy at his school so I am happy also!! Lots of time to catch up in the car. His most missed food from home? Free. Most surprising thing about college? How much people truly care about each other’s well being. HS was even more cliquish than I ever understood so that was of utmost importance. Individuals? Not so much. Also he has met so many people from all over the world that he realizes now how NOT diverse his HS was. Loves the suburban setting. Feels “away at school” when on campus but if he needs something he can go get it easily. Confident that he is in the right level class in math and took AP credit wisely. It is all good!!!
D is also doing very well.
Socially she has developed a group of good friends that are already talking about rooming together next year. Her current roommate is not one of them. Not that they are fighting or anything, but I think they are not hanging out together as much as D had hoped for. She reports that her roommate has already gone home for several weekends, which is kind of strange to me since her roommate is also from fairly far away. D doesn’t know why since they haven’t really gotten close.
Classes are going very well. She thinks she has an A in everything right now. The big news is that she has been rethinking her major. She reminds me of a kid in a candy store that can’t decide what to pick. She is currently thinking of various combinations of majors, double majors, and/or minors in English, communications, music, psychology, and Chinese. It’s so nice for her to be able to take classes in areas that play to her strengths.
I am planning to go out and visit her in a few weeks. We couldn’t make parents weekend but will be going soon after. I’m looking forward to seeing her.
I’ll wait for the Regulation Monday Night Call for confirmation, but it seems all is now well with D16. She’s confident she’ll manage the math course, despite her LD. She reports a B in it currently. The rest are As. So that would hold her place in the honors program and scholarship eligibility. Still, it’s early-days, so we will see.
I’m wondering if she has found her friend-crew on campus yet or is still just meeting people randomly with no second meeting. She’s at a heavy commuter school and for the residential students, it’s a “suitcase college.” I do think she’ll find international and out-of-state students with whom to connect during weekends. I hope to learn more in the phonecall Monday night (before/after The Debate?).
She took one more step in her journey to “independence”… she took her first Uber trip. 
And now she’s at training with a beloved coach for an instructor’s certification in her sport. So, that’s got to be good for her heart and self-esteem.
I am feeling relieved. No safety drama. No LD drama. Smooth sailing for a while, I hope. 
I have started to wonder about Halloween and Thanksgiving for her…
I’d like to send her back to campus from an Oct home visit with some big trash bags filled with millions (it feels like millions) of old, cheapo stuffed animals and dolls from her childhood. She and her club/dorm mates can hack the toys to create (stitch/glue) “ugly dolls” for a Halloween activity. They would disassemble the original toys and then reassemble them, a la Dr. Frankenstein, into bizarre creations mixing up all parts. (I’m stealing this idea from one college that did this where students enjoyed it. It would also rid my attic of those bags of stuffed toys. We’ll see if she’d be into this idea too.)
Thanksgiving…hmmm. I’m going to encourage her to go home with a classmate. We don’t have any family, so our Thanksgiving would be just Dad, Mom, and her. She’s only an hour away from our home, so we can see her any weekend, and we have two already scheduled in Oct. Well, we can discuss…on some Monday night…and see what she thinks. (If I weren’t currently in the middle of a do-it-yourself house renovation, I’d invite D16 to bring home an international or other student who’d be stuck on campus for the Thanksgiving holiday. That’s the plan for next year, at least.)
And…might as well start thinking about winter break, too. I’m going to propose we redecorate her bedroom. Like, that kiddie wallpaper border has to go. Plus, maybe driving lessons…amid whatever else she wants or needs to do.
Can you planner-types relate?
So glad to hear about students doing well! And @dyiu13 so happy that your fears were for naught and your D is doing well. I don’t know that’s I’d suggest the stuffed animal dismembering party. My 26 yo still hasn’t forgiven her father for getting rid of some of hers. They are like children to some kids. Have you ever read The Velveteen Rabbit?
D is settling into her 7th week of college (?) and doing well. She has arranged an internship that will satisfy all the volunteer requirements she’ll need to fill for the entire school year. The classes with grades so far have been A’s and a B and she and her friends are getting along great. They’re all going to this one girl’s home down in Mississippi for the long weekend in October, and it’s the same town where a good friend from back home is in school, so she’ll be visiting her. Things seem good so I can’t feel too bad that she is not here.
Starting a pile of things to take on our visit. I know we’ll probably need to go to the grocery store and restock snacks and the fridge. D’s been spending her own money on food when she misses a meal. I didn’t really want to leave her with ‘bad’ foods like mac and cheese or plain pasta to cook, but those would certainly be more cost effective than fast food. I wish she would get better at grabbing one of the meal alternatives when the cafeteria is closed. I know you can get box meals, burgers, salads, etc. elsewhere. It would make sense to me to grab one of those and keep her fridge stocked that way, but I suppose that’s just mom logic.
Today was good. It’s family weekend but my family is coming when I’m less busy. I had to run a booth at our school carnival today- selling cotton candy and I have work to do.
Yes, @dyiu13 I have also planned fall break and Christmas break – at least the transportation. Sounds like DS may be able to carpool with a group for Thanksgiving. He has met two classmates that live two hours away so if he got a ride that far it would save us some time. I did not buy plane tickets for that weekend. I would rather deal with highways than airports on the busiest travel weekend of the year.
Getting very excited about our first visit to see DS for parents’ weekend - feels like ages since he left even though it’s only been a month! He made his 3rd phone call home as we were driving to back to school night for D18, so we all got to talk with him and actually spent 10 minutes on the phone :). He never studied in HS, so it’s a big change to hear that he’s studying so often and preparing for exams, and actually learning to read some textbooks ahead of class so he can do better on the weekly quizzes. Sounds like he’s doing okay and has found friends to hang out with on weekends.
Only issue is that he keeps asking when he can bring the car to campus, and it’s something we struggle with. He’s a 3 hour drive from home, and it’s safer for him to drive than walk to the local stores in that area (campus is very safe, but some of the surrounding area is definitely not). Most of my friends who’ve encouraged DH and I to ‘stay strong’ and not let him bring a car also have their kids living at colleges that are only 45 minutes away from home, so their kids can easily get a ride home on weekends or their parents can pick them up, which is not the case for DS. He texted earlier this week to see if I could come for the day with the car so he could drive to a nearby national park with friends, but trekking 6 hours RT in a single day and then being car-less while he used it just didn’t seem like a fun plan to me :). We were able to hold him off by letting him know we’ll bring the car next weekend when we come, and that he can use it then since we’re staying at a hotel near the beach and won’t need one.
Anyone have a DS or DD who brought their car as a freshman, and if so, how well is it working out? At this point, we’ve told him if we see good enough grades at end of first semester to retain his scholarship, with no C’s, then we can talk again about him bringing it. He doesn’t like riding with other people because he’s scared of how they drive. It’s an old car that he paid for back in HS, but we still pay the insurance. We’d make him pay the parking pass fee and the difference of the discount we’ll lose for him taking the car to campus.
DD has her car on campus, no problems.
My older daughter had a car for her freshman year that she lived on campus. She was about an hour away and the car came in handy when she wanted to come home for the weekend and for getting around town. Her campus isn’t really a walk to everything location. There was really no issue and we were glad it took pressure off of us to go and bring her home all the time.
@lifegarding, this is a very personal decision you as the parents must make, not your friends.
Everyone’s situation is different.
I don’t know my D’s grades or friends or her opinions on a lot of things. No surprise & no worries. She was a reserved kid and now she is a reserved college student. I think she is happy because the complaints are minimal. I’m grateful for the current level of regular communication, and the only plans I have when I see her next at winter break is to stick to her like white on rice.
@palm715 I was exactly where you are, until this weekend. I would also describe DS as reserved, but also as even keeled. Not much gets to him so no news means all is well. I am enjoying getting a bit more insight into his new world.
@lifegarding Mine has his car. No issues but he uses it very little except to drive to store or to see nearby family. Several kids have asked to borrow it and he has had to diplomatically say no.
A high school classmate who used to live in our neighborhood just lost her father.