@readingclaygirl I am so sorry to hear that
@lifegarding - My DS sounds a lot like yours - never studied in HS! Same car situation as well. Itās an older car, but runs really well (because it used to be mine & I took really good care of it) and it was on our insurance as well. I was really reluctant to let him bring it to school because of the insurance issue - what if he drives crazy, or what if he lends it to someone? After thinking about it for a quite a while, I told him that if he wanted to bring it to campus, heād have to pick-up the insurance. He agreed and luckily (for him) heās on a very generous scholarship and can afford to pick-up this expense. So the car is under his own name as the owner, and he now has his own auto insurance policy. So far, so good as heās been home several times and the car is still in one piece. I agree with the other comments posted as well and I think this is more of an individual case-by-case decision that each family must tackle based on their own circumstances and knowledge of their own kid.
With sending our kids to college a lot of things changed. I was wondering if we will be able to keep our familyās traditions. We always celebrate birthdays with all family members getting together at our house. Today is my momās birthday and DD is 3000 miles away. When all family members got together I had a laptop at DDās seat and she Skyped in. Grandma was so happy. As we ate our meal in CA, DD was finishing her yesterdayās leftovers in MA, but nevertheless it was wonderful as she was engaged in our table conversations as it felt that our family is together again.
@Ballerina016 We FaceTimed DS16 last Sunday for DHās birthday. He definitely felt included .
@carolinamom2boys I remember you mentioning it last week. With all new things in their life I think it is very important to have a little stability and to know that they are part of the family despite the distance.
Thanks, everyone, for the input on the car. I think if he can show us evidence that his grades are in good shape, we will probably let him drive it back to school after Thanksgiving (havenāt told him that, yet). We just want to make sure having access to the car doesnāt distract him too much from studying. The freshman parking lot is so far from the dorms that it will be a trek just to get to it, and he knows heāll have to pay for gas as well. DS and I both love to drive (DH does not), so I understand DSā desire to have his car back. @gettingschooled, yes we have to make absolutely sure he wonāt let anyone else borrow it, thatās another reason we didnāt let him take it initially.
Iāve been MIA from this site for several weeks and couldāt catch up on the thread. I had some outpatient surgery right after I returned from college drop off. The recovery is going a bit slower than I would like so Iāve been beat at the end of work each day. S seems to be doing fine but is being his usually self and is very limited in what he tells us. The answer to everything is FINE. He did tell us how he did on his first college test - Calc. 3 and was going to study with a friend last night night so that is good. He has only joined one activity but at least he has done that so Iām hopeful he is making friends. I think he is doing it all his way - slowly and cautiously. There is so much going on all the time on campus and I think he is not getting the benefit of most of it but hopefully that will change over times. He seems annoyed and defensive during our once a week phone calls. Itās like he is going for the most minimal contact. On an up note, I spoke to my D earlier in the week and she had talked to S last weekend. Sounds like she gave him some good advice about things on campus (sheās an alum) and they talked a little about the social stuff. I told her that Iām glad they are communicating because S will listen to her more than us. Anyway, itās a bit of a frustrating time but overall, he seems okay so that is good.
We are at the halfway point from when we dropped S off and when we go back for Parentsā Weekend. Hoping by then heāll be happy to see us. Hoping everyoneās elseās students are settling in and doing well.
@PAO2008 Iām sorry youāre having a rough time and hope you are at 100% soon. My son is a lot like yours, and can be that way speaking even in person. He just got back from a month in Africa and said more to his sister about it on the phone than he did sitting at the dinner table with us! So Iām hoping that your son and daughter have a similar bond and youāll hear plenty at least 3rd hand.
Just found out that one of the most prominent civil rights activists of the day will be a speaker at Dās college next week. Diane Nash was just a young student herself when she helped bring an end to segregated lunch counters in Nashville, among other things. D wrote about her in one or more of her essays during college application time. If I had that kind of disposable income, Iād be booking a plane ticket out there to see her speak.
@sseamom, how much is the plane ticket? Do you have miles? How much do you think you save on gas now that you donāt drive D around?
Looks like if I stayed over for a few days, theyāre about $550 RT. But there would also be meals, transportation, lodging, plus lost days at work. Sure would be great, but itās just not an option. Perhaps theyāll either stream the talk or post a link later on.
In other news, I am loving the volunteering gig at Dās old HS. I ran into several of her former teachers and got to tell them about her adventures, and the kids think itās cool to see me. Plus, I am actually helping keep things running smoothly-those office admins over overrun with tasks the second they get into school.
PAI2008, I hope youāre feeling back to normal soon.
Were my S and your S twins, separated at birth? My son is also limited in what he tells us. The answer to everything is āfineā. He seems annoyed and defensive to talk on the phone- which has only happened once! Going for the most minimal contact. Iām like you, hoping heāll be glad to see us in a few weeks when we bring some winter clothes. I need to remind myself that this IS his usual self. Just not a big sharer.
Do any of your kids have to watch the debate tonight for an assignment? I have to for my seminar class and my sister does for public administration.
I am just impressed you guys get contact. My D16 has only called me maybe three times and once was inform me she went to the health center and charged the co-pay and script on our card. I called yesterday and she she would call me back after she got dressed. Iām still waiting on that call. Either she is blowing me off or has suddenly become a nudist and is setting a new fashion trend around campus.
That made me laugh @livinginLA
@readingclaygirl āDo any of your kids have to watch the debate tonight for an assignment? I have to for my seminar class and my sister does for public administration.ā
My goodness. I would have NO idea what my sonās assignments are. I get texts once in a while. Some of these are priceless:
āI got shot todayā
(He goes to VA Tech)
āI mean I got a flu shot.ā
Today: āIām going to get a haircut. How much do I ask them to cut?ā (Has been getting his own haircuts for two years, since he started driving) SMH.
Next weekend is Parents Weekend and I want to see him but donāt really want to spend two days there! Oh they have a presentation for parents on finding an apartment for your child next year. Shouldnāt the child find his own place? Isnāt that an opportunity for said child to practice adult skills?
I wish Iād asked him to come home for the weekend. I do miss him.
I donāt know. We are not at the off-campus apt stage yet. I think my Dās university keeps a list of reputable landlords and parent might have to cosign lease if they are under 21. So I will probably come look at some apartments with her when the time comes.
We may have to go the sophomore apartment route. The students have one yer of non-guaranteed housing and next year is our year. It may work out to be cheaper than dorming once roommates are figured in. I know we can feed her off campus for cheaper and if an apartment or house cost is split it will be more affordable for us.
What a difference a day makesā¦la, la, la.
Finally! A phone call with our D16 that had no drama. Just good news pouring from her and a lilt in her voice. She did decide to get a flexible 5-hour/week campus job. Sheās been building her friend network, enjoying campus activities, and managing everything smoothly.
I think weāve turned a corner. Plus, she wants to come home for an overnight next weekend to complete the new FAFSA (her idea). So excited to see her soon!
@dyiu13 fabulous news!
I also want to sit down with my D to do the FAFSA when she comes home in Oct.
@OspreyCV22 Yeah I tell my mom if I have to go to an event or if Iām writing a paper. She pretty much knows everything academic and most things social. About apartments- thereās guaranteed housing all 4 years here so itās not an issue I have to worry about.