D16 was home this past weekend, it was all sort of hit and run. She seems to be transitioning well at Marquette. Grades all seem to be in about the same range as high school for the time being, struggling a bit with the Chemistry class. There is a newly minted Boyfriend in her life, too. Not going to lie it has me on edge. She sort of went off the rails emotionally with a highschool boyfriend and it took a while to get back on track. Feeling that she has matured a bit since then so hoping this one will go better. Itās all a learning curve right? All is good with the roommate. All in all she appears pretty content. I am 100% certain that Marquette was the ājust rightā fit for this Goldilocks. Now on to finding that fit for D18.
Today is Dās birthday and she is 17. She had to pull out her ID yet again over the weekend to prove that yes, she really is that young. As she said to me last night, āWhy would I lie about being YOUNGER? Most kids want to be OLDER!ā
We sent her a birthday box that arrived on Friday, and she waited until last night at midnight to open it on Facetime, so we got to see it all. Today sheāll pick up a cupcake order from a delicious bakery down the street (her request) , then after classes end tonight, she and her friends are going to an escape room, then to the Red Robin. Her birthday package included a crown that you wear on a hair bun, a glow stick wand, and her roommateās mom gave her a custom-made birthday sash. I am curious as to whether she brings those along. Since she was a princess of some sort for many Halloweens, I would not be surprised.
Iām a little nostalgic and teary today, but happy that my ābabyā is growing into a wonderful young woman.
Happy 17th birthday to your daughter!!! @sseamom Iām glad she has plans for a birthday far from home.
Sounds like there have been a number of wonderful visits. We leave on Thursday to visit S and I canāt wait.We had not talked to him in almost two weeks and he missed our mostly regular Sunday night call last night. I was getting pretty frantic and DH and I were very worried we could not reach S and he was not responding to emails, texts or calls. I finally emailed the three RAs for his hall. No one got back to to me (annoyed about that ) but one apparently checked in on S which is when he realized he better email us. Turns out his phone was not working - the phone or the texting but the apps worked so he says he did not realize. He does not know it yet, but when I get there he will be giving me the name and cell of at least one friend. It seems like he and his roommate have not hit it off. No disagreements but they barely speak to each other. Co-existing. This seemed to have started back during orientation. S is very quiet and Iām not sure if the problem is that the roommate is the same way. I hope to figure more out this weekend.
@sseamom Happy 17th birthday to your D!
So proud of our sweet girl! She made sure her vote will count! She completed the most confusing absentee ballot Iāve ever seen, mailed it in and called to confirm it was received. =D>
As far as dating is concerned it has been interesting watching my d grow as a person. She is a very ambitious person and when she was younger my husband and I (and other family members) were not sure she would date much because she can be a bit on the intimidating side. She did mellow somewhat and had a boyfriend senior year of high school. They seemed to get along great, but my d was ready to move on and did not want a relationship to hold her back in college- so they broke up before they started college. She made sure to pick a university that was a very good fit for her and took care in choosing room-mate and activities, etc. She is having a great time. However, she says the ex-boyfriend has tried to cling to the relationship; I feel bad for him as it sounds like he has had some difficulty moving on.
We visited our son last weekend during the Philadelphia Film Festival. S16 and wife went to 5 movies, while S18 and I saw 2 movies and a football game. My wife told me that S16 is wishing he could have gone to college in NY, but he realizes that his grades kept that from being an affordable option. Apparently Philadelphia isnāt big enough. He took us to a sandwich shop down the street from his dorm; it was obvious that heās a regular there. Overall he seems to be doing pretty well.
@mstomper funny Philly not being big enough! D went on a college tour that included Temple and she liked it so much that it was the only non-HBCU that she applied to. The tour also went to NYC and she thought it was too big, too noisy, and too many people. She did get into Temple, but in the end wanted a smaller school. Glad you had a nice visit and that your son seems to be settling in.
@mstomper NYC is under a two hour train ride from 30th Street Station in Philly - doable for a day trip or weekend. And Baltimore is less. Amtrak isnāt cheap, but it is possible to get out of Philly for a weekend. There is probably a megabus too.
I am almost finished packing for our trip to see S tomorrow. Really looking forward to seeing him after two months. DH packed all the chocolate. LOL Iām down to jewelry and cosmetics and deciding on a purse.
Iām excited to share that I was appointed to a student government position!
Congrats @readingclaygirl!
@mstomper , probably for the best he didnāt end up in Mississippi after all, huh? 
S is going to New York in a couple of weeks, and may go for a day or so before Thanksgiving. Heās pretty savvy when it comes to traveling. @GoodGrief16, it probably is for the best that he didnāt end up in Mississippi. He probably would have figured it out, though. They have a film festival in Oxford and I suspect he would have thrown himself into volunteering.
Thank you @psychmomma
Anybody else stumbled into any awkward situations where you run into a parent of a HS classmate of your DC who has nothing good to say about how it is all going for the classmate? DH actually spent a conversation this week hoping the parent would not ask about our DS. When the parent did ask, he said as little as was polite but wow he felt awkward about it. How does one show support for that family without coming off as superior or bragging?
@Cheeringsection This has happened to me a few times. Iāve spoken several times on CC about how we/our sweet girl was treated for her decision to GW instead of the flagship school or a less expensive school. At that time, we/she tried to be as cordial as possible during those āconversationsā.
@HappyFace2018 I thought @Cheeringsection was asking about when a friendās child is struggling, not criticizing oneās college choice. Perhaps Iām misunderstanding.
@Cheeringsection I donāt think itās unusual for freshmen to have a rough time. Even previously stellar students sometimes struggle at first once they reach college. I suspect it happens to even more kids than we ever learn, because parents donāt want feel like their struggling kids are being compared to the high achievers.
Since my own kids are not perfect and didnāt conquer the world in a day, I try to offer support, with specific examples, if I can. If asked about my own new freshman, I say sheās happy and doing well, without offering a laundry list of what sheās doing. Since my older kids took non-traditional paths to adulthood, my ex went to a lowly state college but retired young from Google and my H lived at home while at his flagship, I figure I can be empathetic without bragging, and can assure others that things usually work out.
We are back from our trip to an extremely cold, but still amazing place to go to college ā Boston. My DD still thinks she is in California and dresses accordingly. No wonder she got cold she could not shake off for two weeks now. So I did my mommy magic as well as I could do it on a road and according to her text today she is 83% good now. She told me that she really did not expect it to be sooo cold. I did not tell her it is not the coldest yet. The good news is that she got an externship (winter internship) in her major in our nice and warm earthquake country! My baby will be sleeping in her own bed mid-December till beginning of February! We were on an airplane flying home when she got the news so she called her grandma and they both did a happy dance 3000 miles apart. Is it Christmas time yet?
Itās snowing here.
I agree with @seamom in that itās not unusual for freshmen to have a rough time. On top of that, parents might be unfortunate in receiving the lionās share of the studentās complaints & unhappiness, and a paucity of any good news.
I find it helpful to take inspiration from some of my elderly clients. I have been so impressed with the kind, non-judgemental words of wisdom & reassurance offered by old people who have seen it all and understand life WILL throw things at you, there ARE unexpected detours. Thereās a humility and gratitude (and sense of humor!), and the realization that luck & grace play a role in all of our lives.
You can never go wrong with a kind, reassuring, understanding word towards someone, especially someone who is worried about their kid.