Sometimes support is all anyone is looking for @Cheeringsection .
Hmmm, āOldMarriedFartā is just not how I picture @palm715. Anyone else see it?
But flirting is tricky, RCG. My guess is that many of those boys would like to meet a nice and interesting girl.
I just need to vent and maybe get some support or advice. We have had one ongong problem with her school that I havenāt written about here yet.
The one part of Dās college experience that hasnāt gone well at all is her experience with advising. I donāt want to go through the whole long story here but here is an abbreviated version. Her original advisor from orientation was promoted over the summer and D was never assigned a new advisor. After much fighting she finally got one and he is awful. He has provided no advice and he has now done something to her account which will prevent her from registering for classes for next term. She has been trying to get him to fix it. Her latest communication from him on this issue was āI am overwhelmed right now and donāt have time to deal with this. I will email you with the name of someone else that can help you.ā That was two days ago.
What type of person sends an email like this to a kid they are supposed to be advising? I have been mulling over what to tell her to do on Monday. She could give him one more chance (her preferred route) by writing again and saying I really need the name of the person who can fix this. Or I could tell her to write straight to the director of advising and tell her what the advisor said and ask for help. My H is so mad about this he is ready to go straight to the dean. Iād prefer she handle this herself without our involvement but the consequences of this not getting fixed are pretty high so Iām wondering if itās time for us to step in. She has until Nov 9 to get this fixed.
She is now planning to declare a major asap even though she is not 100% sure, because that will get her reassigned to a different advisor. This has been a nightmare. The most stressful part of college for her has been dealing with this guy. I donāt need another phone call with her in tears because of advising.
Iām sorry to hear of your Dās problems with her advisor! We always advise our kids to make an appointment to see someone in person, whenever itās an option, over emailing or even calling.
A big smile, being firm and kind, saying something like āI need help, Iām not sure what to do next, I feel like Iāve gotten lost in the shuffleā, and sticking to the facts with a focus on getting what she needs (vs. focusing on everything that went wrong) usually is an effective approach.
If she manages to navigate this herself, and she can, it will give her confidence a big boost.
Good luck! Please update! Sheās got time before the deadline.
Said as a parent, but also as a person with experience re: client complaints and having to solve problems.
@me29034, Iām sorry that your D is having advisor troubles.
As far as I know (my D handles all the class scheduling), they all have to have advising appointments before they can schedule spring classes.
On my Dās academic calendar it says thst non-veteran student enrollment appointments begin October 31 and go to Nov 11. Then spring open enrollment begins Nov 12.
So if your D doesnāt have an advisor or appointment, she should contact the director of advising.
Also I thought that majors canāt be declared until sophomore year, but Iām not sure.
D has had trouble with something similar-she has a requirement of volunteer hours each semester and the person in charge has been almost impossible to get any kind of response from. My D handled it herself like your has so far-emails, follow-up emails, and once time became an issue, going down to the office and asking for a response right then and there. I think thatās where your daughter is-suggest she go to the office and get that other name on Monday. Could this be an IT issue? Thatās a whole other department, and that might be who needs to fix things.
I donāt know about declaring a major if sheās not ready. At some schools that can be hard to undo because of the number of requirements. Hopefully she can get her classes for next semester taken care of without resorting to that.
http://www.asundergrad.pitt.edu/advising-center/frequently-asked-questions#a
This FAQ mentions an āon callā advisor. There are more than 10 advisors in the school of A&S, surely someone can help her?
Part of the problem is that she canāt get an appointment with the advisor. He has nothing available until the end of November, past the date she is supposed to register. She did meet with him two weeks ago and that is when he screwed everything up. The receptionist in the advising office just keeps telling her to make an appointment with her advisor - she seems like a very unhelpful person. Every time D tries to straighten something out it seems that they all just try to pass her from person to person with no one stepping in to actually help.
This is the same thing that happened when she tried to get an advisor assigned They kept insisting she make an appointment with her adviser. She said she didnāt have one. They said that was impossible. This went on for weeks. Finally, she refused to leave the office until they helped her, someone checked her account, and they finally acknowledged that she didnāt have one assigned. Then of course they gave her the worst one they had.
She already met with the person who would be her new advisor if she declared. He told her she could declare now and he would be her advisor for next semester. He reviewed her planned schedule and told her it was good. I have made sure she isnāt closing off any avenues by declaring early so no worries there.
@mommdc I will tell her about the on call advisor but given all the time she has spent in that office I think she has probably already tried that. I think its time to escalate to the director of advising at minimum.
Then I would have her see the advising director and request a new advisor who can meet with her earlier.
@me29034 Sorry that you DD has to deal with this unprofessional behavior. I agree with what the others said that it is not the best idea to declare major if she is not completely ready. It seems that online communications are not working so it probably time to meet with someone in advising office in person. I would suggest she goes there without appointment since they donāt want to schedule one for her and try to meet with her advisor, advisor on call, supervisor, anyone who will see her. Unfortunately dealing with unprofessional people is part of life. Sorry she had to experience this so early.
@me29034 Iām sorry that your daughter is trying to be responsible and navigate this mess. I think that she has been more than patient , and that it needs to be elevated. I would schedule a meeting with the advising director as @mommdc recommended with a copy of the emails sent and received by advisor and request a new advisor . Clearly her current advisor is not up to the task . Iād schedule that meeting sooner than later if possible . Good luck.
Itās really shocked D how many adults, both at her college and elsewhere do not respond to emails in a timely manner or at all, sometimes. She has taken to calling offices or just showing up and asking her questions. Luckily, advising is not an issue. But the problems seem to not be confined to her college. In HS she got near-instant replies from teachers.
Thatās everyone for your replies. Itās been helpful just to write about this. I have told her before to just go to the office and talk to anyone but she keeps insisting that no one will talk to her. Itās hard for me to imagine this but I havenāt actually been to this office so I donāt know how itās set up. I think itās time for her to insist to see the director.
As a side note, I donāt understand the concern for prematurely declaring a major. She isnt in a stem field or a preprofessional course of study where there is a set progression of courses. Most of the majors she has considered are simply x number of courses in the major, with a specific amount being upper level. Even if she changes next year, she would have plenty of time to cover the major requirements in one of the other ones. The specific major she is planning to declare is interdisciplinary so has a set number of courses in three different departments. She is planning to take a course in two of the three areas next term. If this ends up not working out, she has just taken care of more gen ed requirements. And she will have gotten away from the nightmare advisor. I donāt see any downside.
I agree @me29034 if itās easy to change majors I donāt see a downside.
I know the stress is miserable, but this is a great life lesson. She did the right thing with the right person, and it didnāt work. Time to move it up the chain. Iād copy all the email exchanges, forward them to all higher-ups she can find an email for with you and the advisor on the CC list, and say who will be meeting with me no later than Nov. 3 - here are the times I am available. She/you are paying for a service that is not being provided.
Well, D has had a rousing Halloween weekend so far-laundry, helping to host the SGA neighborhood Halloween party for local kids, doing homework, then sitting on the dorm steps with her roommate watching the students going to parties in their costumes last night. The wild evening was topped off by a food order gone wrong, but ended up worked out in Dās favor. Todayās excitement will include more homework and trying to find someplace to watch the Seahawks football game.
The most notable event of the weekend so far was noticing a roach walking on the ceiling in an upper class dorm and trying to edge out of the room, but being asked why she was leaving. So a boy helpfully tried to smack it, but it fell onto the crowd of kids watching the TV, and mayhem ensued. She retreated to the safety of her roach-free bedroom in another building altogether.
Exciting weekend @sseamom I think your D and I would get along well. My weekend has consisted of an ice cream social, meeting my friendās dogs, writing a paper, and hearing people loudly prepare for frat parties.
Well, weāve completed our Thanksgiving meal shopping list, Black Friday shopping list and purchased one of the items on our sweet girls Christmas list (Apple watch!!..I got one too LOL!). So ready for the holidays =D>
I am soooo not ready for the holidays! I havenāt even managed to carve a pumpkin yet, though I did buy lots of candy ! DD had hoped her foreign exchange friend would come home with her for Thanksgiving but her father died suddenly and sheās withdrawn for the semester and is back in France with her family. She hopes to return next semester but things are very much up in the air at the moment.
My kids are impossible to buy gifts for because they donāt want āstuffā theyāre happy with their Pebble watches so Apple watches arenāt something theyād want. Since DD will be moving to an apartment next year we may give her some cookware and a gift card for new bedding since sheāll be moving from a XL Twin in the dorms to a Full size bed in an apartment. Instead of spending much on gifts this year we plan to rent a beach house (dog friendly) for the week over New Years on Galveston for some quality family time. Iām really looking forward to the ice sculptures at Moody Gardens and the New Yearās Eve Party at the Hotel Galvez.