@3scoutsmom Just the thought of our sweet girl coming home brings us so much joy.
@readingclaygirl, I was skimming through posts and read yours as âloudly preparing for fart parties.â That sounds exciting, indeed! Glad you had a nice weekend with more conventional parties, whether you were attending them or not.
How sad to hear about the foreign exchange friendâs father, @3scoutsmom. What a difficult time for her. I hope she is able to return. Your ideas for practical gifts and family vacation sound wonderful.
@me29034, I like the advice offered above: this is an opportunity for your D to advocate for herself, and there are many ways to go about it, but it should be done. I think your job is to coach her through the options and encourage her to follow through.
Happy Halloween Eve, everyone!! :O) (I have always wanted an excuse to use that emoji!)
@HappyFace2018 I canât imagine any parent not being overjoyed that their child is returning home for the holidays. Do you have some concern that yours DD wouldnât return home for her holidays? I guess Iâm blessed that this isnât even a question for us.
Public service announcement. When we were at orientation , an experienced parent told us that the child that you see on Parents Weekend is different than the one that returns at Thanksgiving , and the one that comes home at Christmas is also different than the one that comes home at Christmas. He said to prepare yourself . Not to be a downer, I just wanted to prepare everyone. And the countdown begins for us . Iâm so excited DS16 returns for DS19âs 16 th birthday this weekend.
Re: advisors and majorsâŠMy first choice of action would probably be to go over Current Advisorâs head and insist on a new one. Failing that (and I understand going over someone in perceived authorityâs head and insisting doesnât come naturally to most of our kids), if declaring a major doesnât lock her into a box I donât see the harm in it. I changed my major twice, my eldest changed hers seven times. Thus far, the boychild hasnât changed his, but it has morphed slightly, and a minor is being added.
Christmas/Yule/Chanukah/FestivusâŠI suspect we have reached the age of small gift plus a check. With two adult children (each of whom have children of their own), one child in the military (in a dorm, with minimal space for personal items), and one in college (and planning to study abroad next year), it just seems logical. Maybe instead of a check Iâll just buy Boychild some pound notesâŠ
There was no attending of parties by me this weekend or any weekend @EastGrad Nice to see you again @petrichor11 I hope both of your 2016âers are doing well
Thanks, @readingclaygirl! Theyâre doing well, and for whatever itâs worth, one went to at least one party (there may have been more, but probably he just stayed at the one all evening), and one did not, because sheâs not a fan. Itâs fine, either way, though I donât necessarily recommend being a hermit.
@carolinamom2boys Mine seems to have splintered into three rotating personalities: my Sweet Boy who returns occasionally, the one I refer to as Mr Hyde (who usually appears when we have to talk about financial aid) and a big goofball who texts me to tell me what he had for lunch or to ask things like âWTF is a Demon Deacon? Seriously? A possessed priest?â (Fortunately, Mr Hyde isnât a frequent flyer.) But then I see him more often than some here-- about once a month for one reason or another, which is nice.
My little queen will not be home for Turkey Day. Going to school so far away, we knew it wasnât financially feasible. She doesnât currently have any plans to go home with friends. She says it would be awkward being vegan in a strangerâs home on Americaâs day of gluttony saying, âNo thank youâ to most everything offered. Another vegan friend will be staying at school too, and the current plan is to make a vegan apple pie and call that the meal! 
Partying has been an evil word for D. She is so focused on her grades and juggling her responsibilities, silly fun had no place on her calendar. But, she recently found a posse of fellow engineering women who like to go out so she joined them. Friday was party hopping to three different frat parties at Northeastern. Opinion: lame. But she gave it another shot on Saturday and they went to a frat party at MIT. Opinion: best party Iâve ever been to.
Sheâs back now to freaking out about her workload, but this mom will admit to being glad her kid let loose for a while. (and I donât mean let loose a fart, @EastGrad)
@palm715 my ex went through a vegan phase and one Thanksgiving I made a simple dish that everyone loved, even the carnivores. Iâll see if I can find it and pass it along if youâd like. It was from the health food store in town. It was a main dish since I didnât want him to eat only side dishes. Also itâs great that your D had a chance to unwind a bit.
@EastGrad too funny!
@carolinamom2boys I have heard that about the changes in kids when the come home. I suspect D is beginning to realize that things will not be the same with her and her friends from home when she comes back at Thanksgiving. Both the ones who are at college and the kids in her former class still in HS are changing and moving in new directions, as she is, and theyâre not connecting in quite the same way anymore.
As for Christmas, there really isnât anything D NEEDS for Christmas, but Iâm sure sheâll think of something. Weâre looking forward to having her home for a whole month. The only prep weâve done so far is that H bought some new lights for our picture window. He puts them up in the shape of a tree to frame our Christmas tree each year and they needed replacing. He is going to tone down his extreme light display outside this year, though, since we have a kid in college.
How will DD feel about the toned light display @sseamom ? DS16 is quite sentimental . Heâd have some difficulty with the change.
Sheâs not a fan of change, either, but the lights have always been Hâs thing, and she feels like heâs a bit too invested in it. Our yard canât be seen from space, but itâs bright! Each year he changes it up. so this will just be less is more and I think sheâll be ok with it. But Iâm sure sheâs expecting the tree and mantle to remain traditional!
@palm715, I think Trader Joeâs might have some vegan-friendly microwaveable dishes that give a nod to Thanksgiving. Have your dear daughter check those out. (I just hope that they arenât too gassy.)
Once again, wise words from @carolinamom2boys. Thanks for the reminder.
D16 is coming home for Thanksgiving. She is the only person in our family who truly likes decorating, and she does a splendid job, so it was mandatory. (S19, tonight, in fact: âCan we just put up one tree this year and call it good? Whatâs the point if we just have to put it all away a month later?â I resisted telling Scrooge Jr. that those same thoughts run through my mind all seasonâŠ)
Awesome updates, everyone! Glad to hear MIT won the party competition but sorry it lost the January term competition. Cards parties without alcohol are a great alternative and Iâm glad to hear theyâre in vogue at Reed.
My DS is home for fall break and first order of business was a haircut by mom. Glad to feel needed. I made him a welcome cake. Iâm a passable baker but horrible at close careful work. The icing fell out of the tube on top of the last letter of his nameâŠso I went with it, and we just called him â[name]blghgblgâ in the welcome song we randomly started singing. It actually tasted great. DS told me that when someone at school said baking was all about being careful, he mentioned me as a counterexampleâŠ
@3scoutsmom I donât have any concerns about whether or not my sweet girl would return home. We too are blessed that this isnât even a questionâŠnot sure what you read into my post. At any rateâŠas @palm715 her DC will not be home for Thanksgiving because of the cost of travel. One of my sweet girls roomies is from California and will not be traveling home for Thanksgiving, did not travel home for fall break and her parents did not visit for Colonial Weekend because of cost. The first time she will see her parents is Christmas. Itâs so expensive. She and my sweet girl have become very close so she shares with my baby girl how hard it is being away from home and my baby girl shares that with me. When we visited for Colonial Weekend all the parents who visited just hugged her so much (she probably got tired of us hugging her). She understands that this is one of the many sacrifices she/her parents made to attend GW. Several of the momâs took little care packages to her when we visited and we also reach out to her parents to chat often.
My goodness, itâs probably a good thing my little queen does not attend GW. She is not a fan of uninvited touching and would take offense if little care packages were exclusively directed her way because of her parentâs choice to not spend money on travel.
Luckily, she manages to feel #blessed despite (or heck, maybe because) she wonât be home until winter break. As she mentioned when we talked last night, after a rocky high school experience, she is so so grateful for all the educational opportunities at college. Through classes, clubs, and a scholars program she is working-on three different real-life projects: an intraoperative burn surgery diagnostic device, gait analysis for an adaptive walker for folks with multiple sclerosis, and an improved water system for a small village in Panama. I guess #blessed is all about perspective a very few of us are in a lofty enough place to determine who is and who is not.
@palm715 LOL! She was fine and graciously accepted all gifts. I just love college confidential :))
By the way, Iâm not so âloftyâ enough to make any assumptions about her parents financial situation or to assume I/we are more blessed than anyone else. I was simply responding to @3scoutsmom and used you situation as an example. My apologies. Attending GW has little to do with our choice to help a student who needs help. My goal is to help others whenever I can.
@palm715 I just read you post againâŠyou made a ton of unnecessary assumptions regarding the situation. Thatâs unfortunate but it is what it is.
Tomorrow is an EA deadline. Remember last year? Doesnât it bring back a lot of memories?
@Ballerina016 - I just tried to bump the poem I wrote last year about EA! So glad to not be in the thick of that this year.
@Ballerina016 Yes. I was just chatting with a few friends who are going through it now. Stressful times [-O<
@Madredos, please repost the poem here. It was brilliant.