@zimmum I’m so glad you chimed in. I was just thinking about you yesterday and was wondering how you and your son have been faring.
Thanksgiving at our home is very low key. We have a traditional meal of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls, and cranberry sauce. We also will have a vegetable lasagna for our daughters as they are both vegetarian.
We do not dress up but if going elsewhere we would dress on the nicer side. For your son I would say at least khakis and maybe a button down shirt. As others have mentioned a prayer may be said before the meal. It is pretty normal to have on parades early in the day and perhaps football games on television later. During dinner many families might have a tradition of saying something that they are thankful for.
I don’t think your son would need to bring a gift but a small token would be polite and appreciated. I hope he enjoys his break and please let us know how you are doing with him so far away.
You and @fretfulmother really covered all of the bases for what may take place, and be experienced, at Thanksgiving.
@zimmum : I wish your son the excitement of discovery, the warmth of full welcome, and a bit of something familiar inside of the celebration as he experiences Thanksgiving on these shores.
I am sure his presence will be as much a talking point as everything else at the table.
He may find that he is holding court, and if so, you may want to remind him that he can shift eyes away from him simply by inquiring about the next person. (Who doesn’t like talking about themselves?)
I hope you are well at this time, as well, @zimmum. Having sent your child so far is really an example of giving a child the gift of wings, and the confidence to use them.
@3scoutsmom@lifegarding@livinginLA@Waiting2exhale - thank you all so much for your helpful tips, it will be a great experience for him and I think he is really looking forward to the break from the Res Halls!
@livinginLA - We are both holding up, I miss him desperately every day but life goes on and I’m getting used to him not being around. I have downloaded Snapchat and have found that he seems happiest communicating this way. Little snippets of information accompanied by a couple of photos every day keeps me very happy and I almost feel as though somehow I’m still in the picture - although I know I’m really not LOL. We chat on WhatsApp once a week or so and he seems to be ok although he’s been very homesick recently. This made me feel so so sad on his behalf but he has now started asking for photos of home and videos to be sent from holidays or training sessions so he can share his life back home with his friends. He has a girlfriend now which is great, I don’t think it’s anything serious but all the companionship and friends he has the better. He also has a group of 6 friends who seem to do everything together which is great.
His mid term grades were not good considering he’s on a decent academic scholarship. He said everything is done electronically and on laptops at uni whereas here everything is written in books and paper so the transition has been a big change and now his laptop has broken and can’t afford a new one, so a bit of an issue. I think he got a jolly big fright when he saw his grades (being used to As only!) and I’ve noticed the partying has slowed down and more time is being given to his studies - whew!
He was injured when he left Zimbabwe for Uni and this has been a big worry as he has also recvd a XC and Track scholarship. Sadly he was red shirted for the first XC season and after several doctors visits, MRIs and epidural injections etc he seems to finally be back on his feet - huge freedom for him!
He’s going to his cousin in NY for Christmas and says that’s the only thing keeping him going right now with the dreadful homesickness he’s been having. I wish I could afford to come over and see him but I’ll be saving for another time I guess. Hopefully we can get him home for the summer, can’t wait for that first hug at the airport!
Anyway that’s me for now, and him. Love reading all your posts, somehow makes me feel a little closer to the other side of the world, thank you all x x
@Waiting2exhale - I always believed that I would do everything I could to give my sons an opportunity to spread their wings and be everything they ever dreamed of. There are two gifts we can give our children: One is roots and the other is wings x x
@zimmum: The incredibly knowledgeable moms here have shared with me that most campuses have laptops they can loan to their students. Hope that helps.
Additionally, we are at a period here in the US where some incredible deals can be found on electronic items…it is the now-official commercial opening of the holiday shopping season, and is known as Black Friday, and the sales as Black Friday sales. Of course, fixing something can almost always be less expensive than replacing it, but wanted to share that with you.
@zimmum, I’m sorry your son has had some struggles! As for Thanksgiving attire and formality, have his ask his friend what the family does. My extended family had a formal sit-down dinner with china and crystal but it was perfectly ok to much on the pre-dinner snack without asking or waiting for permission. Everyone dressed in their “Sunday best”. My husband’s extended family, which we host every year has a potluck on paper plates and we sit wherever. I prefer the formal way, but I do appreciate the lack of dinnerware to wash!
The “Black Friday” sales mentioned above are already being released and laptops are among the great buys one can get. I’m not sure you can even repair one for the prices some are going for. If even that is too much, have your son check if there is a computer refurbishing store in his college town. Here there is a local chain called “RE PC” which sells used computers and accessories after refurbishing them.That business, and others, contribute to programs where lower-income students can get computers for free or very low cost. If he would qualify for something like that, it might be worth looking into. Also, the church I work for has a number of retired engineers and we’ve scared up some old but working laptops for our students in need several times. If your son belongs to a congregation, he could ask there.
In any case, I"m glad he is healing up and hope his homesickness subsides, and that his grades level out.
@zimmum I am glad your son is keeping in touch with you through snap chat and whatsapp.
I hope he thoroughly enjoys his Thanksgiving dinner.
Here it is pretty casual, just an opportunity for all the family to get together and have turkey and fixings.
I hope your son asks for help with his laptop. They should have a computer lab he can use. They might have an IT help desk for computer repairs at school.
I am glad he can run again and has some good friends.
@zimmum our niece at Cornell brought a friend from China to our last Thanksgiving feast. What a thrill for the whole family. Do not worry about anything, formalities - do not worry! Your child will be welcome and interesting. His friend can advise about attire, if it’s important, but likely not, and the exotic element is so forgiving. If he is invited, he is welcome. I am happy your son will experience a Thanksgiving with friends.
We’re all enjoying having D home. She’s visited with friends but is mostly content to hang out at home, bundled under the covers in her room or lounging on the couch. We’ve had dinners of her choice since she got home and she’s been helping organize for the big day tomorrow. Today she’ll help me pick up a large order for my work and tonight we’ll make the pies.
I asked her if she feels awkward-as though she’s not sure where she belongs or if she misses her new home at college and she said no, this will always be home to her, even if she isn’t here. At least for now, this year, that’s how she feels. I think it was my second semester when I realized that I felt more at home in school that in the house where I’d grown up. But I’ll take what I can as she sits near me on the couch, of flops on my bed as I look online, or when she walks past me and pats me on the head…
I feel the same @sseamom But I haven’t seen any friends and don’t plan on it- all my closest friends are visiting family out of town. Oh well, we have time during winter break
S spent yesterday with his college friends, which made me happy since I wasn’t sure if he’d made many friends yet. Otherwise he’s been hanging out with us.
DS16 arrived home last night. Spending the evening with him and my DS19 watching Charlie Brown and the SNL Thanksgiving specials. Glad to have my boys around.