@STEM2017 I’m with you on the Yes/No answers. Just get it over with!!
Overnight visits: Not planning on any, but that’s because of expense rather than anything else—it costs a lot (think international-flight prices for most of you) to fly out of here. A couple of the lower-tier private schools on D17’s list are willing to do things like split the cost of airfare for admitted students from out of the area, and at that point it becomes tempting, particularly for schools on the bubble.
Why no Ivies or Stanford? But then again, we don’t ever have to deal with this question—so there are some advantages to being in a corner of geography where distance means there aren’t a lot of people playing the top-ten USNWR game, so it just isn’t baked into the local culture.
Yes/no, please, no waitlists: Waitlists count as no for us—that happens, we’re done with them.
@jpc763 congrats on the acceptance! Good to have choices. <:-P
@thermom big sigh of relief for you. Now the waiting, not sure what is worse!
@Dave_N early congrats on the Otis interview
The invite for the overnight sounds great @RightCoaster
Waitlists are just painful! Went through it last year with D16. There’s no finality. D17 ED school is either a yes or no. No deferral to RD, no waitlist. So at least she can move on if it is a no
Congrats on the great news, @Dave_N and @RightCoaster !!
Sorry to hear about your D20’s English teacher, @VickiSoCal – Sometimes adults just want to reassure kids but don’t know how or have facts on their side. I talked with the junior high psychologist a couple days ago, and he says that many kids are stressed, worrying about their parents or grandparents being deported. Sad that 13-year-olds have to worry about stuff like that. Our district has been supportive of walkouts, telling kids its OK but that it has to count as an unexcused absence (which seems fair).
Reaches: Yes, D17 has a few on her list but has not yet filled out those apps - so we’ll see how tired she gets and whether she feels it’s worth it in the end. Right now I’m just hoping she gets her “main” ones done for her top 2-3 high match choices, preferably this weekend so we can ENJOY Thanksgiving!!! Once those are done, I will be thrilled and whether she wants to enter the lottery after that, well, I don’t care.
QOTD: Interesting discussion on the overnight visits; I can understand the experience being positive or negative based on how well you get along with your roommate(s). I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it! I’m thankful for these discussions as they really help to see things from different perspectives.
I think we need a good JOTD, anyone?
@IABooks Jordan Hall at the Honors College was wonderful! Everything was set up for us. We tried through our regional rep and she was terrible. I e-mailed the Honors College and they got right back to me and set up an amazing tour.
Wait lists They are a no at our house. There will be enough yes choices that are good fits to make the stress and drawn out timeline a no go.
@BigPapiofthree so you didn’t receive a request from the school directly on any of these? Yikes
QOTD: Unless D gets flown out for a scholarship weekend or similar, I think we will avoid overnights. I would like her to have a substantial day visit to help to decide that would consist of visiting a couple of classes, having lunch with a student in the dining hall, etc. I would hate for a school to be eliminated because her overnight host ignored her or lit up a joint in her presence. The overnight seems too unpredictable. Also, she is likely to visit her top 3 (maybe 4) in quick succession and that could be done more efficiently (and cheaply) without overnight campus stays.
When I did an overnight, there was a student host, but you had your own, separate guest room. You just had meals and hung out with host, you didn’t have to share room.
My DD has done one overnight. She had a host who was kind enough to stay with a friend so that my DD could use her single. DD did not care for the unisex bathrooms. The school had many activities planned so she spent very little time with her hostess. The school did not move up or down on the list.
I see a few differences between Trump and the Tea Party. One of Trump’s big issues (and who knows which issues will change) is building infrastructure via increasing the national debt and I think reducing the debt is a big Tea Party thing. I’d also say he’s less anti-LGBT than the TP (which honestly is not a high bar). He did welcome Caitlyn Jenner to use the bathroom of her choice and has said he considered marriage equality a done deal and that he is “fine with it.” I don’t think those few statements will help over the next four years though. I see a future with lots of “religious freedom” bills and no one to stop them. Okay, I should probably stop here.
Why no Ivies?
None of my kids have ever been asked that, so not really an issue. :))
Overnights
D17 hasn’t done any, but oldest D did two. For one she had a party girl who dragged her to a loud party with underage drinking. That totally turned her off, but she still applied to the school. It didn’t have a particular party school reputation or overall atmosphere so we both chalked it up to bad luck. She got rejected so I guess it didn’t matter!
Her other overnight was to a school where she’d been accepted with enough merit to afford. Her host had very different interests but still did a great job helping her to see what she was interested in. She felt like she got to know the school as well as possible in two days. She decided not to attend, but it was a close contender.
I think D17 is pretty good at not letting bad tour guides etc. color her opinions, so I’d see an overnight as a positive.
@nw2this, actually I hadn’t heard of those, but no way is she getting general scholarships that emphasize leadership, ECs, and CS. I’m limiting myself to looking at scholarships for women in STEM (or engineering specifically), LGBTQ students (pretty much her only CS stuff and not a lot) and for students with autism. At least those will be a smaller pool of applicants.
@STEM2017, in my view deferrals/waitlists strongly suggest low or no merit. With a RD deferral I’d assume the college is off the table and not waste time thinking about it unless proved wrong (which is possible if their RD cohort is unexpectedly weak). I wouldn’t have D stay on a waitlist at all.
@nadotenmom I am sorry to hear that your DS was exposed to drug use on his first overnight at college. Sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders. I am so surprised at the states that are approving recreational marijuana including recently Maine and Massachusetts. There must be rules and age restrictions to protect our children, but I can’t see where this is headed in a good direction for anyone. I don’t mean to sound so naïve, but I never saw this day coming. Medical, yes. Recreational, really? Don’t we have enough problems?
Not sure if anyone else is having this problem. We are full pay, so DS has marked that he is not applying for FA on each application. However, every school is sending reminders to apply for FA, most indicating that time is running out, and even using such statements as “college isn’t going to pay for itself”. I understand these reminders are meant to be helpful. My only concern is that when DS doesn’t submit a fasa, will the University interprets this negatively, such as he is delinquent in submitting this important form, or that he has decided to not submit it because he has lost interest their particular program. DS’s top 2 schools will be full pay given that the universities do not give merit $. His 3rd choice, which he would be very happy at, doesn’t give much merit to out of state students (and he’s already been accepted), and the cost is on the more reasonable side to begin with, so I guess this isn’t too big of a deal. It is just since DS took the time to complete and submit these 5 other applications, I would hope that his applications would be reviewed with serious interest. And besides, if a school were to make a generous merit offer, that could really tip the scales. I guess my question is, are we obligated to reach out to each college and reaffirm that we are not filing FA, but would be happy for DS to be evaluated for merit? Or is this usual and understood by the schools?
@HappyGoLucky2017,
I think you are in a great position. While some schools proclaim to be need blind, most care about need. In fact, I think many schools will admit a full pay ahead of a comparable need kid. I noticed this week on my S application at Michigan that they noted on his status our family income. I think it is a potential red flag. Don’t worry, and you won’t be judged negatively for not filling it out. Quite the opposite.
@carachel2, sorry for response delay, it’s that pesky job thing today…
Interview timeslots were offered for Monday and Tuesday of next week with other times available but not specified if she couldn’t make Monday or Tuesday work. She has an excuse to get pulled out of school so she is fine with that.
@HappyGoLucky2017 I don’t know which is worse…recreational marijuana vs campus carry?
Campus carry is so much worse. Not even close…
@Mum3kids & @BigPapiothree Agreed, campus carry is far worse. To be honest, I had to look what campus carry was… This brings a whole added dimension to our college search. Luckily DS’s top schools are either in states that strictly prohibit the carrying of guns on campus or where no universities in the state allow guns on campus.
Thank you @BigPapiofthree for you response to my question. Sending good thoughts that everything works out for your DS with Michigan.
I guess with guns the effect is immediate whereas with drugs, it takes months and years but still destructive. Like @HappyGoLucky2017, these are issues that we never thought we would have to consider in our college search.
Re: Campus carry vs. recreational marijuana vs. drinking
I would much rather have a bunch of stoners than gun-toters or major drinking. Gun-toting drinkers are especially unwelcome.
When I suggested that D17 reconsider UT Austin which was on her original list, she said "Mom, I have two words for you. “OPEN CARRY.” Nuff said; didn’t make it back on the list.