@RightCoaster Sounds like you need to get in the middle and start playing dad/agent. Don’t let your son get muscled around. Coaches are not concerned about your son’s future. Time for you to play hardball.
Question for those doing the University of California Applications.
How important to the application are the essays? We have only been to one official tour. What did other tours say Berkley or UCLA say about the essays. While I’m sure the UC’s are basically STATS based schools. I’ve always thought the essays as something that could either break an application (if they were really bad), or help borderline students who’s stats didn’t tell the whole story.
I’m asking because my husband (who thinks he should know) thinks they aren’t all that important. And that the drama S17 put us through getting them done was over the top.
@CT1417 that’s a good point, and all the letters she needs already exist (esp for the common app), but I’m going to assume the deadline is the deadline, because it gives me an excuse to tell her to “git 'r done!” 
I think it’s to prevent what’s already happened to her with UMD-she sent an email request to a teacher (who’d already done the LOR for another school for her), and the email got lost in the shuffle. Add winter break to that and the cracks get significantly bigger to fall through.
@CT1417 wrote:
Auto correct is trying to tell us something.
@RightCoaster – " Even the schools that want him for lax right now haven’t officially offered us anything in writing yet because he applied RD so he could maintain control of the process. He has to wait until January on those to see if we get any merit. If he doesn’t get any merit $$ then he will probably go to one of his top 2 choices"
Is is possible to have him ask the coach if there will be merit? Since he did not apply ED anywhere (correct?), can he convert one of the lax schools to ED? I know that sounds odd, but a handful of the ED II schools allow an RD app to be converted to ED II by a set date. (See Lehigh or Lafayette, IIRC.) I realize this is ED I and not the same thing, but there is often leeway once a coach is involved.
Or, are there non-lax schools among his other apps that he would prefer to attend?
A long shot, but the only thing I can think of now! Does he play club lax? Would his coaches have any insight?
@STEM2017 — HA on the worry. And I am in charge of proofing…oh well!
For those applying to USC:
we visited them last week. DD was a bit weighed down by their really long application, especially the single word ones, and didn’t know what they expected. What a relief when the admissions counselor who gave us the first sales pitch called out that the student should put down what comes to their mind when they read these and not get too hung up on them!! She said they used to have a ‘in your opinion, what’s the most important invention ever made?’ when she applied to USC, and her response was the ‘big pink eraser’ or something like that, and she got in. She said she finds some of the responses amusing, but that they are not looking for a ‘right’ answer to these. They’re merely trying to get a casual understanding of the student through these. That really helped DD. She came back from the visit, completed the one-word questions (still gave it some thought as she wanted the answers to be representative of her, but wasn’t concerned whether there’s a right answer) and submitted the app.
@STEM2017 and @CT1417 son is doing a fine job handling the process, and I have been around to help a lot too. I’ve met with coaches and admissions. They’re not really muscling him around, it’s just that they are trying to make sure their rosters are filled and they can move onto coaching again vs recruiting. I get it. What has happened is obviously some of their recruits decided not to attend at the last minute or got rejected or not enough $$, whatever. Son17 is not some super duper high priority recruit. They just have some spots to fill. I get it. They are not in the drivers seat though, as there is no ED contract, so the coaches are stressed out. Now my son could just verbally commit now and back out, there is no stopping him from doing that, other than being a decent honorable person.
He does not want to go the ED route, and that time has passed anyway, because then that definitely locks him in and I don’t think he’s mentally ready for whatever reason. We also wouldn’t get to compare offers going ED. One of his top school choices only offersclub lax, no varsity anyways. And the other school, he can just try out as a walk on, according to the coach, but that’s not much of a commitment. The 2 schools where he has offers from are probably his 3 and 4th choice, although they’d be fine. He’d do well there. He just thinks he might be able to get a better education and career opportunity at his top 2 choices, that’s it.
Just some weird stressful time that we’ll get through and laugh about down the road. It’ll all work out.I’m more concerned about the education and personal fit than I am about lax anyways.
@curiositycat333 - we visited USC, UCLA and UCSD last week (our first and only set of college visits so far). The UCLA and UCSD tour guides and presentations insisted on the ‘holistic’ approach and called out that the essays are very important, especially because there are no recommendations submitted either. It’s just the GPA, course rigor, SAT/ACT and essays. by the time the students are ready to apply, the first three are pretty much set, and the only level the students have to influence the admission further are the essays. Hope that helps.
@Mom22DDs --thanks for the confirmation on USC’s fill-in-the-blanks. Son decided they were not important, and therefore filled them out quickly. The essays, as always, were labored.
@RightCoaster —sounds good. I just thought you were looking for advice/suggestions vs musing out loud (which I do plenty of!).
@curiositycat333 we visited UCB, UCLA, UCSD, UCD, UCSB, UCSC and UCM (did not visit UCR or UCI). All of them emphasized how important the essays are. Each put a different twist on the type of student they are looking for and that they use the essays to find those kids. If you read carefully, you can pick up the difference in type of student type at each UC from the verbiage on their websites. They all reiterated that the essays should be more of an interview type answer and not a creative essay. They said to check grammar but are looking more for substance and not fluff.
@STEM2017 Congrats on Embry-Riddle! My Aerospace Engineer H was devastated when my niece chose another school over it a few years ago. Wonderful options!
@RightCoaster I am so sorry. I feel your pain. We went through that with SD14. At the end of the day she chose the school she wanted, which was not one the ones that wanted her for her sport. Unfortunately the reality is that the money is limited in most of these sports and they dole it out as they see fit, and it can be quite late in the process if at all. Even if he were already admitted for EA that doesn’t mean they would offer him scholarship monies. If he is not sure, he should not commit and stick to his plan as it sounds like a solid one for his situation.
As best he can, he needs to not get sucked into the excitement and drama of other kids plans and strategies and stick to his own.
I completely disagree with @STEM2017. Coaches do NOT want to hear, or negotiate with the parent and that can absolutely kill your kids chances if you aren’t careful. I truly think one student we know was booted (released) from her early verbal commitment, not b/c it was a new coach (the alleged reason) but because of her parent. Your S can, and should, push them on offers and be clear that without the promise of anything he cannot be comfortable committing. It is a perfectly reasonable response on his part, however he does have to realize that they may move on to the next full pay potential player and fill that spot. It is a game and not a fun one. Do remember though, LAX monies and merit monies may well not be the same thing. Will his EA results impact anything and will he hear before Jan?
@eandesmom and @RightCoaster I defer to you who have experience and expertise. My opinion was uninformed. And it sounds like @RightCoaster’s S has the situation under control. Good luck!
Speaking of peer pressure with college choices, my DS’s friends tease him on FB for his admission. No open applied to this school from his HS, but he applied since they have a good combined (BS/MD) program. His friends knew about it but still thinks he made mistake by applying to a school whose rank is in 60s!
@srk2017 yeah D17’s boyfriend teases her about UA. sigh. I know it’s her safety, but it’s a darn good one!
@skr2017 Sounds like his friends are the children of some CC posters.
The teasing will return to haunt them one day when they have bosses or co-workers from lower ranked schools and they realize that their 18 yr old selves didn’t know it all.
Need to resist allowing other people to influence life decisions with which those other people will not live a lifetime.
And aren’t paying the bills!
@srk2017 – Those friends are probably kicking themselves on the inside since at least your son already has one acceptance in the bag, and they likely don’t.
@rightcoaster your son is smart to hold out for his favorite academic choice and then see where he lands for LAX.
I just realized that we have an error in the education section of the CA. The AP economics class is actually AP Micro Economics first semester and AP Macro Economics second semester, and the kids take both AP exams in May. I know, it sounds awful but that’s how his school does it. This only became clear to me after we had parent/teacher night last week. I don’t think S really had a clue - he just cares about his grade.
Should S reach out to the EA schools reviewing his applications to clarify this? I think it’s a relevant, but hate to point out a mistake made on our part. Survey says…??
Pet peeve - people who select a school (or judge someone else’s school) by its rank rather than whether it provides a good social, academic and financial fit for that individual. [-X