@Fishnlines29 Yes, have read through that thread and got a few chuckles from it.
My S15 got the creeps from JMU because he said the kids were all happy and friendly - and they were teenagers, not meant to be that way in his opinion. Guess he felt a stepford wives moment there. A friend of his ended up going there and absolutely loves it, and yes, she is very happy and friendly!
@NerdMom88 D17 makes up her mind immediately… then changes and changes and changes and changes. Yes, she is set on Delaware now but it might be Indiana in a few weeks, then Scranton. I am frustrated because I know her and I feel like she HAS to look into at least 2 of the other options where she was accepted and then SEE those two options in person. But I can’t get her to look into the rest to give me two options where she feels she may be happiest. I can’t pick those options for her, it’s got to be her, and I certainly don’t want to spend time travelling to visit all 6 or 7 where she has been accepted so far - just the top options. If UDel is still ‘IT’, then yes, it is IT. I feel like she is investing all this time into 1 spot, and then say June is going to be like, well I really wish I had… It’s how she is. She is impulsive, set, stubborn, and then takes two steps backwards - often times too late - and says gee, wish I had…
If she hadn’t been so flaky in the Fall, we would have seen a few before she applied. But she totally changed gears in September from everywhere she had planned on applying. Had already applied to Delaware and had seen it. As someone who weighs all my options before making a decision and never looks back - this is just sending shivers up my spine…
@NerdMom88 Neither of my kids is good at making up their minds. But in both cases, a campus visit resulted in knowing this was it. S knew at accepted student overnight. Even though he had been there numerous times as it is alma mater of both parents. D knew in fall Discover W came home switching to ED.
@VBhitter21 Wow, that’s a tough personality type for this situation, but it’s such a vital decision that you may need to play tough right back. It’s one thing if she feels she’s found the one that’s “it”, but another if she frequently second-guess herself down the road.
This sounds a little controlling, but could you pick two of the schools you think might be a better fit and then tell her that those are the schools you’ll be seeing over spring break, unless she researches her accepted schools further and comes up with one or two she’d like better? Even if she doesn’t, you’ll still have exposed her to some alternatives before she makes a final decision. Plus, it might help your peace of mind.
@VBHitter21 With my S17 he was adamant he wanted to be in a particular city (Boston). I scheduled visits to schools in MA that were outside of Boston, CT and DC. He was not immediately on board but I explained to him that where he goes to school will be his decision but he could not make a good decision if he didn’t have OPTIONS. what he learned is that he actually liked three of the schools and REALLY liked two of them. After that, he was even willing to visit two schools in PA. I agree with @nerdmom88 about scheduling some visits and then at least once she’s seen other schools you and she will feel better about her decision if she decides to go to Delaware.
529
There is doubt the entirety of D’s 529 will be going to whatever school she attends. :))
Prom
Oldest went to prom all four years (went to a weird school where it’s the only dance they have so it’s open to all students). The first three years I picked her up afterward. Senior year she had a sleepover at our place. It was mixed gender, but I knew all the kids and their parents very well. I’ll be surprised if D17 stays over an hour at Prom with all the noise, lights, crowds, etc. After-prom (which her school has) would be out of the question. I don’t expect it to come up, but I would absolutely not allow her to go somewhere unsupervised with friends. Same applies to D18. And I’m the hippy-dippy easy-going Mom (shocking, I know).
@VBhitter21, Wecome! I would encourage your D to visit just one or two campuses so it doesn’t see as overwhelming as visiting all acceptances. Accepted Student days are nice, but I’d take what I could get. If she sees a couple of others and isn’t swayed then get ready to buy some Delaware swag.
@thshadow, no email for us. It’s funny – she did get an email from a Rose AO this morning, but just asking about schedule change info D sent them yesterday. I’m going to keep checking though!
Oh I have as stupid reason a child won’t look at a school- Syracuse met a lot of my daughter’s criteria… until she realized their spiritwear was orange. Orange is a deal breaker. Not kidding.
@VBhitter21 In your shoes I would require, require, that she visit 2 of her choosing before agreeing to pay the deposit. If she won’t pick 2, you pick them. I have a child like that and I know exactly what you mean and he has flip flopped a lot over this process. I am blessed in the sense he hasn’t allowed himself to love one school as there is a money factor but that is pure luck. I could easily be in your situation. Call it the parent card, call it doing it to humor you, whatever you want but yeah…I’d force her to look and at a minimum have a back up plan. If she gets summer melt and changes her mind, at least there is a 2nd choice to try to go back to!
Prom- Our prom isn’t until May so we have a while to go. Son went last year, there was one after party that he didn’t go to and kids ended up getting so drunk that parents were called to pick their kids up. My son was happy going to In-N-Out with his date and some friends, he’s not a drinker. I think parents aren’t willing to have parties anymore because of the liability of drinking and driving. I wish our school would do an after prom event that would solve the problem of post parties. Our school buses the kids from Campus to prom and then back to campus so everyone is together trying to figure out what to do. I would have no problem calling a parent to verify what he says he is doing. I trust him but you just never know. As long as he is honest I don’t mind him going to parties etc…
I have offered to host but it would be a no drinking party and we live about 20 minutes away from school, too far my son says
Are proms held in the winter some places? I thought everyone was planning way ahead. Here prom season is May/June so plans are pretty fluid at this point.
Welcome @VBhitter21 . I don’t know enough about your relationship with your kid to know if you can say to her that you require her to go visit all the colleges that are her favorites if it’s financially feasible. If that’s not going to work and she’s stuck on Delaware, then it’s probably fine because it’s a big school, well thought of, and I’m assuming affordable for you? I would have been worried if she’d picked a small niche school in the middle of nowhere, or the middle of somewhere that has a very specific feel to it (like BU), but I think as long as she’s good at finding her tribe in big schools, she’ll be fine.
@Momofsenior2017 we don’t know what we’ll do with D17’s 529 yet because we don’t know where she’s going, but we don’t qualify for need-based aid so I’m not sure how to work that angle for school.
@VBhitter21 I live in Newark DE within walking distance if UD’s campus. I’d be happy to answer any questions you may have.
Funnily enough IU is one of my D’s top choices. She and I both felt right at home in Bloomington because it’s so similar to Newark—a true downtown with locally-owned stores, lots of restaurants, a brew pub (ok that’s me lol), walkable and bikeabke yet with bus service, plus arts and cultural activities.
That was the sound of Kenyon’s application deadline passing — but it doesn’t have to fly past you. Since you expressed interest in Kenyon, we want to give you a little more time to submit your application. You now have until January 18 to apply to Kenyon."
@stencils she simply will not wear orange, it’s truthfully been a problem in her college search. Her boyfriend decided to apply to UIUC because of their computer science rating so he wanted her to apply too, we had to lie to her about the colors after the Syracuse debacle. If for some reason they have to go there, it’s going to be an issue!
Moving on from prom to GRADUATION. My D, who has never before wanted me to have a party for her… when I asked her if we should have a graduation party, it was a resounding YES! Sooooooo…
QOTD: What are y’all doing for graduation? Party or no? At the house or rent a place? Invite both family and friends? Max number of invites? Budget? Also, when? I would think everyone is celebrating somehow the Sat after so not sure if too many conflicts could arise!
Right now, I’m thinking low key at the house, family and close friends, decorations, maybe light catering so I don’t get stressed out!! Thinking ahead, since graduation is on a Thursday, I think I’ll take off Thurs/Fri to prep for a Sat party.
Perhaps I’ll send a “save the date” Evite.
QOTD: No graduation party here. We take the grandparents and go to dinner after the ceremony, and use the money we save to get a nice gift. (D2 has already gotten hers – her ticket to “Hamilton”.)
@Momofsenior2017, we plan to put more money in 529 if D is indeed going to an expensive private school.
@Fishnlines29 , we are on the same wave length, just thinking about graduation party myself. D’s 18 birthday is also around that time, she wants to have the party for both. I don’t think that we will mention that at all. Our families are abroad, so it will be just friends. I think I am going on FB for catering recommendations. Do it yourself is too much stress, I agree.
QOTD: DD14 did not have a party, our extended family went to a beautiful restaurant, we ordered champagne and toasted her, and had a fun dinner. I imagine we will do the same for DD17. I am not sure about a gift - DD14 did not get one outside of a private education from 2nd grade on, DD17 has had the same blessing. I think that’s enough!
