Since I’m in waiting-for-decisions mode I’ll just throw myself into the cauldron of controversial issues!
Crime
I don’t think anyone should eliminate a school just because a couple of CC’ers labeled it dangerous, but actual crime is certainly a legitimate factor. D briefly looked at U of Alaska Fairbanks after talking to a rep at a college fair. We always check out images and the wikipedia page for college towns (general interest – not specifically for crime). Saw that Fairbanks has the 3rd highest rape rate in the country and almost double the average US violent crime rate. Maybe the university is in a very safe part of town but D and I both said “NOPE!”
And it’s different by kid depending on gender and other factors. My oldest D (almost 24) should never live in an area that requires “street smarts.” She has low self esteem and is a “people pleaser” who hates to even think she might ever make anyone else feel bad. She’s had years of therapy and was raised the same as her more confident siblings, but that’s who she is. Even in our little “bubble” she’s gotten herself into a few potentially dangerous situations due to her need not to offend people even when they are clearly the “bad guy.”
Just as an anecdote (don’t make any decisions based on my one story!), there was one pretty exciting night during my time at GT at H’s frat when we heard a helicopter incredibly close followed by police sirens. Of course everyone stupidly went out to see what was going on. The helicopter was hovering right above the neighboring house and police were jumping out of their cars with guns. I could hear the police ordering someone out of the house (seriously – just like a movie!) A guy came out and was arrested with no further incident. I don’t remember what he was wanted for, but he was not associated with GT and just happened to have run into the frat house running from the cops.
Racism and the south
I have mixed feelings. I’ve lived in a total of four southern cities in four different states. I felt that Atlanta was very progressive for the time period (late 80’s) I was there. I didn’t see or hear much about overt racism. There was also a thriving LGBT community. A few days after my wedding I went to visit a lesbian friend who lived in what might be called a “gay-ish neighborhood.” My truck was still plastered with “Just married!” signage. It also had our names and H has a name that is more often a female name. My friend and I were sitting on the lawn by the truck when a car drove by and someone yelled out the window “Congratulations!” We waved and yelled back “Thank you!”
My small hometown in Tennessee was downright backwards. Rampant racism and a lot of animosity between my (white) town and the neighboring 50/50 black/white town. My HS mascot was the rebel and pep rallies consisted of people running around the gym with giant Confederate flags. No change was made until a complaint was raised in 1999 and a huge fight ensued with students continuing to use Confederate flags “unofficially” until 2008. No way would I want any of my kids to go to college there (and there is a college in the town). Lots of great people there but way too many bad apples.
Not surprisingly homophobia was also a way of life. My Mom was very close to her gay hairdresser and got to know his partner as well. She heard the horror stories of discrimination and nastiness they faced. I’m grateful she raised me to be pro-LGBT rights from a young age. (At the age of 82 and saddled with Alzheimer’s this remained an important issue to her. When she was still able to read the paper she got very angry about an article regarding gay marriage and huffed “Why don’t they just let the gays get married? It makes them happy and doesn’t hurt anyone!” I wish she could have lived to see marriage equality happen in the US)
Okay, I’m already long-winded, so I’ll just say that I lived in two racist/homophobic towns and two progressive towns in the south.
Bi-racial couples
It is sad that bi-racial couples still face high levels of racism today. @MotherOfDragons is correct about the military being more progressive on this issue than people might think. H was in the Army for four years and I’ve never known as many bi-racial couples as I knew then. I’m sure there was some discrimination (there is everywhere), but I never heard about it from couples I knew or in general on Army bases.
My sister’s best friend’s white daughter faced the same disapproval from her black bf’s family that @socalmom007 and others are seeing. They did come around eventually and now the couple are happily married with everyone’s approval. Whether or not marriage is in the cards, I hope these other parents will also begin to judge their kids’ SO’s by the content of their character.
That took awhile – is it March yet?? :-<
