Parents of the HS Class of 2017 (Part 1)

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
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Finally coming closer to some sort of decision (or at least whittling down the list somewhat!).

U.Chicago sweetened the pot with an extra “Presidential Scholarship” but neglected to tell us how much it was (turns out it was two $4K summer stipends). Probably not enough to sway a decision one way or the other.

Among D’s options offering full-tuition merit aid, it looks like the only one still in play is Wash U.

Among her more-expensive HYPS options, it turned out that Yale was a bit of a disappointment. While everything looked great on paper and the programs, professors, students, residential college system, etc., etc. were top notch, D found New Haven rather depressing and the school had a much more urban, less of an isolated campus feel than D had expected. She’s not a big fan of city streets running through her campuses.

City streets running through her campuses is one of the many reasons that took Harvard off the list without visiting (other reasons for taking it off the list include the fact that it doesn’t have an intensive humanities core like Yale’s Directed Studies, Princeton’s Humanities Sequence, Chicago’s Core or Stanford’s Structured Liberal Education provide, it doesn’t have the undergraduate focus of her other choices, and its campus vibe is not as warm and fuzzy).

And then she met Stanford…

Her fears about Stanford having too much of a techie-entrepreneurial vibe in which the humanities were, at best, not taken seriously and, at worst, denigrated, were assuaged by meeting a lot of very like-minded humanities kids and seeing how seriously the humanities are taken by the school. She sat in on some great classes and interesting discussion sections and spent some time at the freshman living/learning humanities-based program that she’s interested in, finding it very “TASP-like,” which is precisely what she seeks. Put that together with a stunning and accessible campus that – while large – is perfectly flat and easily navigable and has seems like a very supportive disabilities team and system of golf-carts, etc. to help get around, the best weather of school of its caliber, and a quirky an irreverent study body (D is plenty quirky and irreverent herself!), Rodin sculptures and stunning architecture at every turn, and we may have a winner! Now if only they will reconsider FA as we have asked them to…

D still may want to check out Princeton for reasons alluded to above about its undergraduate focus, Humanities Sequence and stunning campus, but the campus culture and vibe probably will probably not be as quirky and irreverent at Stanford’s and the exclusivity of its “eating clubs” and general east coast feel will probably not seem as warm and welcoming. (The fact that they will not allow for overnight visits and haven’t managed to arrange more than a single lunch with a single student does not bode well).

Onward and upward!

Welcome back @BigPapiofthree - I’m glad that things worked out well for your S.

Congrats on the decisions, @srk2017, @socalmom007, @moonpie and anyone I might have missed!

Congrats on the new avatar, @MotherOfDragons!

@thshadow - I can’t comment on Wash U.'s engineering, but my D loved the campus (possibly her favorite so far) and it seems like a wonderfully supportive school with a very nice vibe.

@Testingearly - How’s the Stanford visit going? I pm’ed you the other day – I think our Ds might have met…

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@LoveTheBard if you were to rank the ones still in play, how would you rank them and do you think your ranking is different than your D’s?

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@LoveTheBard, Stanford sounds great to me. Ny nephew went there. It is an amazing place. Did you know that 70% of the kids marry a fellow stanford student. That says a lot. If she felt like she found her place, that is great. Hope the money works out for you…

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@MotherOfDragons - I think we’re pretty much on the same page in ranking the various options.

I moved out to CA from NYC precisely for quality of life issues, so I can certainly relate the allure of Stanford over HYP from a variety of points of view – aesthetic, cultural, and climatological among them. (I’ll leave the issues of intellectual and social fit to my D, but I can’t help but think that they’ve all got the former going for them, and the latter is a matter of personal taste).

I, too, liked Wash U the best among her big merit options and enjoyed St. Louis more than I had anticipated, so I think we’re on the same page there, too.

Both campuses seem like very happy places to spend four years learning and growing. Whether a Stanford education is worth $50K more/year than a Wash U. education, I can’t answer – but I do know if any school is worth that price differential, it would likely be one of the HYPS(M)s. I also know that neither my husband nor I want to deny her our very hard-working and intellectually curious daughter the education she craves in the environment she seeks. At the end of the day, my husband and I want D to wholly own this and any other major life choice she makes knowing that we will support her in whatever she decides.

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It’s funny, so far the overwhelming take-away from WashU is that all of the students here are so, for lack of a better word, adult. Whereas DD is really still a kid, TBH. And I think she’s fully aware of that.

So - will going to a school with mature adults help her to grow up? Or will it make her feel (more) weird? I think it’s clear that so far she doesn’t feel comfortable here - but she also wants to be willing to step outside of her comfort zone… And it seems logical that if she came here she would eventually find her people…

She just went to stay over with a CS girl, and go with classes with her tomorrow - so we’ll see how that goes…

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Congratulations @socalmom007 ! The long SoCal nightmare is over. Now you have an excuse to make road trips to SLO.

We went to Bruin Day yesterday - there were a LOT of people! Saw 2 performances by the UCLA marching band which was fun. Attended a few presentations on how to be successful there and take advantage of the available resources - I wish they’d give those presentations again midway through the second year as a reminder. Still blown away by how beautiful the campus is - they must be siphoning money from other UCs. I hope the students who let tours view their rooms were well compensated. They must have had thousands, if not over 10,000, traipsing through yesterday. Would have loved to attended one of the interesting lectures provided by faculty, but there were just way too many overlapping things and we couldn’t do them all.

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^ @youcee what you described is the reason why UCLA is the most popular college in the whole country!

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@LoveTheBard So I assume your D isn’t available for either of Princeton’s admitted student days that feature a sleepover? My D will be there this Friday. Whereas you won’t get the same climate the Princeton campus sounds like what your D would like. More compact than WashU’s. It has a bit of a slope on the southeast side. I’m sure it might not be the easiest to traverse in the winter when it’s icy but I’m sure facilities keeps the sidewalks clear. I seem to remember your D’s post last year(or someone strikingly similar) when she was making her list and the various advice she got about campus layouts. It seems we all could have done a little better in helping her get a better sense of what to expect and maybe you could have saved some travel money :smiley:

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Congratulations @socalmom007 – must be a relief to have a decision that pretty much works for the two of them and involving very strong schools!!! We have learned even with several “options” nothing is totally ideal, there are trade-offs and unknowns as well. But you know they are no so far away and the educational piece is more than solid! Congrats & good luck moving on to the next phase.

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@Dolemite - No, unfortunately, Princeton Preview dates don’t work for D – she has to go to LA this weekend because she is a finalist for an outside scholarship and because she committed to a competition from the 27th to the 29th and doesn’t want to let down the team or the coach. Thanks for the insights about the campus.

Some travel money might have been saved if 1) schools gave more lead time between issuing scholarship invitations and acceptances and when students have to commit; and 2) if all of the scholarship finalist competitions were not bunched together at the same time and if they didn’t last 3 -4 days (USC’s two day/one overnight with interviews the next morning was ideal). In all fairness, some of the trips were paid for.

Part of the problem was that we had not visited many (or hardly any!) of the campuses before applying, assuming that, if invited, D would visit campuses for the scholarship programs or would visit if she were accepted (given the odds at many of these schools, she hadn’t expected to have received so many scholarship invitations or acceptances!)

D did indeed create a few posts when she was researching schools and seeking information about programs and campus layouts, but I don’t think it’s quite the same to read impressions about different campuses from mostly able-bodied people’s perspectives and really seeing what a campus looks and feels like up close and personal. It’s difficult to envision how navigable a campus is or isn’t, and it’s even more difficult to envision how you will feel in your gut when you visit someplace.

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@Dolemite, my daughter is hosting for Princeton Preview this weekend! Maybe your D will end up in her room :slight_smile: She had a great visit last year, and I hope your student does too. Spring is delightful at Princeton (though I admittedly skipped all the parent stuff on campus last year, and took off on the train for NYC and a nice walk in Central Park :wink: )

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shhh Don’t look now, but I think D17 is inching slowly toward a decision. :blush:

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It’s going to be an exhausting week here with three school visits spread across the NE (lots of driving and hotels). Hoping there will be some clarity for S by the time it’s all over.

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Not deposited here - now D17 has brought BF’s school into the picture which she applied to as a safety because she refused to apply to our state flagship. It’s overpriced and no different than UD really, just smaller which she didn’t want.

Told me last night she regrets the whole thing, doesn’t feel she applied where she should have, not really happy with any of her choices. She was 100% set on UD, now is questioning her ‘choice’ like why is it a choice. Have tried to get info out of the school - would like to have an idea of what kids do with her major from UD once they graduate, what grad schools they get into; 2 days, 6 or 7 phone calls last week, emails, no one can seem to tell me or answer their phones or emails.

We offered yet another trip to check out UD and IU - sit in on classes. We offered to bring her to Scranton to check it out along with the honors program there. Went over like a rock. Told her she has 2 options, a gap year working and taking Gen Ed classes or go to what offers her the best for her major for a year - if you hate it - transfer. I brought the BF into it. Flights are cheap and easy in/out of IU - offered a trip for him to visit both semesters, we’d visit, she’d have Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Break to come home to see him. That didn’t go over either.

No happy end yet, just loads of stress! :frowning:

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@mominthemiddle - weren’t you dead set against UD, IIRC? I guess your D has heard you, for better or worse.

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@mominthemiddle

  1. What major is your d considering?
  2. Would the gap year option mean your d would defer admission for a year or reapply next year as a freshman? You need to consider that taking any courses for credit anywhere could move your d into the "transfer" category from the "freshman" category. Check carefully if this becomes the top option.
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Congrats @socalmom007 on Cal Poly SLO! Looks like a cool school, and after some research it might go on son19’s list. Hope your D has a great time there. It looks beautiful.

@thshadow hope your D can find her peeps and her fit soon. I really think you should look at RPI for her. It is filled with girls that I think your D would get along with.

Good luck to the rest of you working on making the final decision!! Very exciting.

Son17 is off from school this week, then a 6 week final push to the end. He’s excited. He emailed a few schools to decline their offers, and said he didn’t like that feeling, felt like he was closing doors on some opportunities. I don’t think he’s really had to do that much in his life, so it was a good life lesson of just accepting the decision you’ve made and taking ownership of it.

He decided not to go to the DECA national event and compete, as he would’ve missed a whole week of his lacrosse season. He’s having fun and doesn’t want to miss out. He also thought it was a lot of $$ and maybe not worth it. He said if he was a junior and needed some awards for his resume he would do it, but he’s all set now.

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@RightCoaster Your S17 is thinking like an adult. Congratulations. Well done.

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@mominthemiddle, if she really feels like she doesn’t have good options, can you offer her a year off to give her more time?
How about a service year like city year, or Americorps?

https://www.cityyear.org/
https://www.nationalservice.gov/programs/americorps

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Without doing any of the research (I’m too lazy) what is the major difference between applying as a Transfer student and applying as a new freshman?