I always laugh at my DD14. Every semester, it’s the same thing. She struggles on the first test, spends the next several weeks stressing if she’s going to pass the class, or need to drop it. Yet, by the end of the semester, she always ends up with an A or B as the final grade.
Next semester, repeat…
About 1/2 through her sophomore year, I recognized the pattern and stop stressing about it myself. Now I know to expect that call (or text) a few weeks into the semester. My job is to talk her off the ledge…
I’ll probably will have to do the same thing with DS17. He also likes to vent. ~X(
@VickiSoCal I know that when our graduated IB kids spoke at the info session for our IB program, they all said that the IB program was harder than their college classes, and that their IB classes prepared them well for college.
DS has found some of the college classes he took during HS to be easier because there was less busywork to keep up with. And, his college classes often had curves where his HS classes didn’t.
There is no drop option at St. Andrews. All chemistry students take the same sequence the first 2 years and have only a few elective options the last 2 years. I’m not sure what happens if you fail a course!
@VickiSoCal like @Ynotgo we too have been told that kids from S’s school do not always find college more challenging than HS. The kids who work hard in effective ways and have good study habits can find college less difficult than HS or at least not more difficult.
@rightcoaster@carachel2@lfb@magneecrew Thanks to everyone that weighed in on NEU. We visited and I was really surprised by what a lovely campus it is! The information session was useless. Thirty minutes of stuff like “we accept either the ACT or SAT…we have EA, EDI, EDII, RD.” And the tour was really bad. It was just an exterior tour and the guide was so unengaging that no one asked a single question the whole time–no one spoke a word. After the 4th building stop when the guide mentioned what a great spot it was to study S and I looked at each other, and then sure enough, every stop after included a reference to being a “great place to study.” LOL, S was not impressed. Afterward he said, yes, he knows you study in college, but what else do you do at NEU?
So, I guess we will need to rely on the internet for our research, but it was nice to see the campus, and it will be added to the list, which is really saying something because at this late date the list is very sparse.
@Dolemite 4 roommates, wow, which college? My S is class of 2019 if you have any questions.
@planner03, I think you got the same tour guide we did at NE.
Please try to put that aside. It is a great university in a fantastic city with an unmatched coop program. For the right student in the right program, could be hard to beat.
@Gator88NE Your daughter’s experience sounds like our S15, except we go through that 3 times a year instead of two since they are on the quarter system. I think I stress out less than I used to, but there is still always a helpless feeling when you can’t do anything to help them other than provide some encouragement. Sometimes the best quarters are not when he gets all As, but the ones where he pulls out a miraculous B at the end.
@Ynotgo I saw the air quality warning was removed a day or two ago. S15 had ash on his clothes after biking home from work a week ago. Learning how to cook on his own this summer has been a real education and will be very helpful come fall when he’s out of the dorms for the first time during school. The internship has been a very positive experience in many ways.
@youcee Glad to hear his internship is going well and cooking is always a useful skill–wish I had it! We just decided it was clear enough to get our cars washed. After summer it will be time for new car air filters. Thank heaven for firefighters!
Personally I wouldn’t want my children attending a high school where they had to work harder than college. We didn’t want either attending the high achieving magnet since it was just accelerated curriculum with hours of homework starting in 5th grade. I wanted more time for my children to be children. I found alternative learning experiences instead for them. College will definitely be the hardest academic experience for her so far but I think she’s well prepared academically. I do worry about other things though.
We made a similar choice to @Dolemite and passed on the top ranked magnet school in our district and kept them in our local high school. It’s AICE program was more than rigorous enough, and it gave them more free time (if nothing else, by avoiding the long commute times) to do other things…
Every family has to figure out what’s the best balance for them, based on the options they have available.
It’s a personal choice. Both my kids attended the well known STEM magnet high school in my district. They learned valuable time management skills to balance work and play and extracurriculars, and just made them accept the work needed to perform at a higher level as their ‘normal.’ I ask both if it was worth it and they both say yes.
My kids both chose the magnet high school in our district. It’s almost the same distance as our local school (maybe 8 minutes instead of 5) and the culture is less about athletics and what brand clothes you wear. Our local school has a much wealthier demographic overall and is ranked as one of the best athletic schools in California. My kids just fit in better at the magnet school. But yes, it is hella lot of work.
There are are no wrong or right choices. It’s obvious we all made the ‘right’ choice of being so invested in our children’s education. When you are new parents you’ll hear a lot of what the right thing to do is from family and friends but you should make your own choices and you know what’s best for your children and family.
I don’t think it is matter of more work, I think in my D’s case they are making the kids think differently.
She took AP Psych in HS ant felt it was more intense since it was a year long class and they had more time to cover (and test) the details. The college version of the course covers basically the same material but since there is more weight on the mid-term and final (about 50% combined) and not as many quizzes and interim tests (less feedback) she is finding she needs to be more strategic with her studying. She is having to figure out what is important to know and what level of detail she needs to master. In HS the expectations were more clearly defined due to more feed back from frequent quizzes.
The exams are different than the AP tests also. She said she got a 5 on the AP exam by recalling facts and linking ideas, and knowing the test scoring rubric. The expectations for the mid-term was understanding and synthesis of the big concepts and the scoring rubric is not as straight forward. This is a different way of thinking, and quite honestly, that is what I think a college should do. Push the student to think beyond just the facts, think logically and write clearly. She thinks she learned more Psychology (facts, theories and people) in her AP class but the college class is increasing her understanding. She feels all the students are finding they need to set their bar a little higher.
I have always said that because there are no test cases with kids, there are not “right” and “wrong” choices (now that is taking it too far but I think people get the idea). No matter how well a given decision works out, at least one other on the table at the time may have produced “better” results. And no matter how horribly a given decision turns out to be, all others at the time may have been “worse.” So we all do the best we can to make the “best” decision given available info at the time and move forward.
Kids are all different. What works out for one won’t work out for all. Kids/parents/families need to find their own way. No matter the kid and no matter the school, there will be adjustments. A lot of different aspects to college. Academics. Social. Living on your own. Figuring out who you are/what you want. Different aspects of all of that are easier/harder for some than others. The kid who appears to have it all figured out and is flying through college in spectacular fashion often times isn’t. Do the best you can with what you have an keep going. Onward and upward (pretty sure I saw that somewhere here:) ).
@Dolemite My S was in Rocky too, but in quads the last two years. He drew the short stick freshman year and thought he had the smallest quad on campus…until he saw what he drew into sophomore year, lol. Rooms are vastly different though, and some have 2-3, even 4 times more space than others. Good luck to your daughter!
@STEM2017 “I just think they all need to be ready for a C here and there. Especially if they are in a very rigorous program.”
I 100% agree here. My D16 had a very difficult time seeing grades that she never saw in HS. She cruised through HS Honors and AP Classes with mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. She may have slacked and received one C in Freshman year. When she got to UMass Engineering program - she struggle for a C in Physics first semester which was one of her strongest courses in HS. Fortunately she did a little better during second semester and made the Dean’s list - but it is a lot of work!
@Dolemite re: Being invested in our children - H and I were discussing this last night. We’ve recently seen two sad examples of children whose parents were not invested in them and it is such a shame to see them struggling their way through life - not going to college. One did a two year tech program for carpentry - graduated from it and has her certificate but can’t get an apprenticeship because she has not had two years experience. This is where the parents need to be stepping in and networking to make the connections but hers are not able to do that.
That investment is so needed and why the kids here all have the good choices they do for college.
I have been away from CC for a long while – trying to catch up here a bit and will do so on the parents of Class of 2018 as here we go again - with a very different kid from DS2017. Time is getting short to get the dorm stuff & computer he wants - move in not until 3rd week of August but he will be away much of the time till then. DS17 asked yesterday about what happens if he fails a class so we looked up the policy - can retake it but the F stays on transcript and gets factored into GPA - ouch - well hopefully will be “motivating” not to procrastinate too much. I think a few humanities may be taken pass/fail which might help some.
@Gator88NE – I think my son might be similar - get an awakening after less than stellar/expected performance o fist tests and assignments - he really does not yet have a sense of the pace or degree of studying and work students will be doing & still laments how hard he worked junior year of HS. This will be an adjustment for sure.