@rwmannesq yes, there’s hope! I know that was tongue in cheek, but seriously, look at people’s life outcomes. What makes people happy? And what defines success? Going to an ivy doesn’t mean you will be financially successful, but even if it does, how much do you need? Yes, you need to be financially stable, but uber wealthy? No, that’s got it’s own set of problems. I think there are always a few kids at the Ivys who are there because they like the intellectual challenge, and that’s the right place for them. The uber competitive ones? They’re on the road for a lifetime of stress and trying to keep up.
Thanks, guys. Between reading all the 4.5 gpa 1550 SAT stuff, and the “How much do you need to retire…” thread and realizing it needs to be well north of a million bucks, it’s good to have someplace to call home! 
@rwmannesq saw your brave post and will comment here in the “safe” spot. Zero chance we would pay $65k a yr for a 2nd/3rd tier school either. We are CA based as well and set our budget at what a UC or CSU would cost as they both meet our needs. We expand our target list to include private or OOS public based on what is competitive with our instate options. FWIW, my D18 likes UCLA and UCSB to a lesser degree, but would probably take SLO or SDSU over both in a heartbeat. Sounds crazy, but if you remain flexible, there is absolutely no need to pay $250,000 for a degree unless you really want to. :-c
Thanks, @my2caligirls. We’re touring Sonoma State on Tuesday. Smaller supposedly Liberal Arts vibe. He’s seen UC Merced, though there ARE a lot of cows. Also will consider UCSC and Chico State if I can persuade wife (she doesn’t know better and thinks I’m being cheap.) :-"
@rwmannesq, my S18 dream school is in that range. He received a scholarship as a junior, which knocked 20K off the price. He knows that the school is unrealistic unless he gets adequate merit and financial aid. His father and I are not going to break the bank to send him there. That said though, he’s got the grades and he has a good chance at admission and aid. So we’ll see what happens.
@apraxiamom: Wow, that’s a great scholarship! Congratulations.
S18 agrees that we’ll place schools in a tiered grouping and if a school offers any significant money then that will be the tie breaker. I don’t expect that to happen, but it’s nice to have him on board should the issue arise.
@rwmannesq, my oldest is about to start her freshman year at USD. She got in to LMU also. Being Jesuit educated myself, I had a preference for LMU tho must admit, I loved USD’s location a wee bit more. We are East Coasters but my husband is from the Bay Area and have been all over CA many times. In the end, she got twice as much merit aid from USD than LMU, which worked out well for her as she personally preferred USD to LMU. My husband is really regretting that his father talked him out of buying the house he was considering in Pacific Beach 25 years ago (he was stationed in San Diego with the Navy). To think D18 could be living in that house and saving us room/board…ugh. Good luck with your son’s search. He sounds similar to my S19 academically-he hasn’t even been thinking about college yet.
@4kids4us: PB! I lived in PB when I did my LL.M. at USD. Also a Chargers fan and it was the year they went to the Superbowl. Loved it!!!
Honestly, I sure hope we have a similar streak of luck w/ some merit money at USD. If any of these schools we’re looking at can do even a little bit of help I’ll consider the whole package an actual bargain.
Exhausted. Stupid exhausted, actually. Just took S20 to baseball practice and brought my laptop to do some work. Got done when the lights came on and got distracted talking to another parent about the tournament schedule for this weekend finally came out. Left my laptop sitting on the bleacher and left with son. Didn’t realize until I was all the way home when it dawned on me. Raced back and couldn’t believe that it was still sitting right there! Still, feel like a dummy.
So am really tired because we did the CSU Sonoma tour today. It’s about 70 miles from our home. Took 2 full hours to get there and made it with about a minute to spare. I’m the type that gets totally stressed out about time. Anyway, beautiful wine country location and really wanted to like the school. But, if you’ve seen some of the other 2018 thread you’ll know that many of the tours seem to be luck of the draw. Ours was about 6 families and I swear none of the kids looked at all interested in being there. Parents, too! No questions from them. No expressed interest at all.
Luckily, my S18 was oblivious to the others and just soaked it in. He liked the calmness of the campus (to me it appeared a little tired, but they haven’t yet spruced it back up for the new semester.) The dorms are apartment style and he could have his own single in a group of 6 guys in a full sized apartment with kitchen. He liked that part as well. It’s a safety but the business program is impacted, according to the guide. However, it does sound like S18’s numbers are good enough to do the Accounting program if that’s what he decides, so no worries. After the quick tour we ran over to the Arts building to look around but they’re redecorating and not open for students…bummer. Also, there’s only 1 real cafeteria on campus and it’s old school buffet style. Not too sure about that but S18 seemed to think all-you-can-eat sounded pretty good.
He says it’s on his list.
Hmmm, I’ll bet UC Santa Cruz is a lot like this, too, and they have an animation major. Need to check that out sooner than later now as I didn’t anticipate him actually liking the nature style campus as he’s been dead set on big city.
We got out of there about 2:30 and just needed to be back in time to change and get S20 to practice by 6pm. Took over 2 hours to get back as a leg of the journey is one lane (yes, the Bay Area actually has some 1 lane highways!) and turned into a temporary parking lot for no apparent reason. Pretty stressed out over the whole driving ordeal but it was a great time spent with my boys.
Hi everyone, looking for school suggestions and general venting. My son (3.4 GPA, 30 ACT) decided he’s mostly interested in urban campuses. I think he’d do better at a smaller school, not a big university, but there seem to be few smaller, urban colleges. Any suggestions? Prefer non-religious.
More background: Most of the colleges that sound good for him are unfortunately in small, isolated towns. He prefers a mid-size school, not tiny, mid-Atlantic or New England. We live in Northern VA, so have looked at the main VA public universities. He vetoed VA Tech and U of Mary Washington. He liked James Madison U and VA Commonwealth U. Both huge. He liked William & Mary but that’s a reach. (Didn’t like UVA for some reason, but no way he’d get in anyway.) Christopher Newport sounds too preppy and suburban for him but we might go look at it.
Looked at Colleges that Change Lives and I think Clark sounds like a good option. Most of the other CTCL seems to be in little towns. Seriously thinking about going to look at it. Sounds like it’s in a bad area, which doesn’t necessarily take it off the list, but I think he needs to see it in person to get a feeling for it. Both me and my spouse went to urban schools, so we’re familiar with that scenario. (Sadly there’s no way he can get into either of our alma maters.)
He’s interested in chemistry and wants to continue playing cello in an orchestra. No sports. Not interested in frats and is kind of a homebody - likes video games, occasionally going out with friends. Unlikely to get into party scene (I hope, LOL). He’s very passive and unassertive, which is why we think a big school might not be that great for him. It’s not the end of the world if he ends up at a big school, but I don’t think it’s going to bring out the best in him.
Also considering: Case Western (we know a professor/head of a dept there but getting in might be a stretch, not sure - he visited the campus on a school trip and seemed to like it ok), American U, Carnegie Mellon (also have a connection there but it’s a reach for sure). No idea about the financial aid situation with any of these schools.
Venting part: he’s seems incredibly unmotivated. I don’t think he thinks about colleges at all unless we’re talking to him about it or we’re visiting one. He doesn’t look at any of the college mail. I have to push and push and push to get him to do anything. I’m dreading this next stretch of time until his applications are in, particularly writing the essay(s). Every little step is like pulling teeth. We’ve been really disappointed in his lack of motivation overall related to school. He’s smart and has taken challenging classes, but has refused to do more extracurricular activities than cello and his grades are only so-so, as his GPA shows (weighted, btw). He did improve sophomore year, but then went down a little junior year, when it was more important, argh.
@rwmannesq If your son is interested in majoring in animation, my wife works in that field and knows a lot of animators and animation professors - I can pass on any questions you might have.
@rwmannesq I can’t look at any other part of CC except posts about specific schools. Seeing other kids’ stats and ECs completely freaks me out. I was happy when I found this thread, knowing not everyone on here is a striving go-getter.
@rwmannesq I can’t look at any other part of CC except posts about specific schools. Seeing other kids’ stats and ECs completely freaks me out. I was happy when I found this thread, knowing not everyone on here is a striving go-getter.
@persimmony don’t rule out “religious schools”. My DD’16 is at Catholic Marquette, a decidedly urban campus, small -is 10k ish undergrad. We are not religious, AT ALL, she is fitting in just fine. I was going to suggest Christopher Newport. What about Longwood or Radford, not urban but worth looking at. UWVa may be too big. UNC - Wilmington or UNC - Charlotte. Drexel or Temple or University of West Chester in Philly. Why not Pitt instead of Carnegie?
@persimmony I hope you don’t mind me barging in to your conversation with @rwmannesq… My S19 is really interested in animation and is considering Texas A&M for a degree in Visualization. We are in TX and he wants to stay in state and TAMU seems like a perfect fit for him. Anyway, does your wife happen to know if the Viz program at TAMU is good? I’ve heard that Dreamworks, Pixar, Disney, and such hire a lot from there. Although, it is something I heard… not sure how true it is. Thanks for letting me interrupt your convo
Eckerd College is a small LAC, located on the water in St. Petersburg. It is a CTCL school, great merit aid. He can continue to play the cello if he wishes. Wonderful professor/mentor relationships, can be involved in research as a freshman. Study abroad semester, winter term, spring break, summer or spring into summer programs.
@trish02 I will definitely ask. Haven’t heard any mention of that program.
@labegg Thank you for the suggestions! We thought of Drexel and Temple, will investigate them more. Drexel seems to have an unusual coop requirement. UNC - I assumed they were large, hadn’t looked at them. Haven’t heard of U of West Chester, will look up. U of Pitt - will look up, don’t know anything about it. Pittsburgh is a nice city. Carnegie Mellon came up because we have a connection there.
@ECmotherx2 Thanks for the suggestion. Did see that on the CTCL list. Sounds like a good school and St. Petersburg is nice but he hates hot weather, I’m afraid. FL is right out.
@labegg I have heard bad things about Longwood and Radford, also they are really in the sticks.
@Persimmony Radford and Longwood would not be my first choices either
@persimmony Thank you!! 