Only have to read Fahrenheti 451 which he will do some time in August. It’s the cross country practice that is killing him. Up at 6:15 Monday through Friday to run with the team. Earlier than regular school year wake up time! Killing me too. I’m tired!
Last final for D19 today! School ends tomorrow and I’m so thankful she passed all her classes. (It was not looking good there about 2 months ago. But she finished with a 2.7 unweighted, 3.0 weighted.)
She wants to do the fall theatre performance, but it was Fall 2015’s theatre performance that almost destroyed her freshman year academically. Might anyone have advice on what to do? My better half wants to tell her she must skip the fall performance to focus on grades. I’m not sure what makes the most sense, but I know she cannot have another quarter (forget about school year) as she had this year.
How would you handle this with your student?
Academics come first in our house. I agree with your husband, but it’s a personal decision , that you should discuss with everyone involved. What are your child’s college plans? How many ECs is she involved in? Lower GPAs may significantly limit her choices of colleges , as well as any opportunity for merit scholarships. All of those things should be considered in the decision . Those HS years go by quickly, and there will be limited time to bring those grades up. JMO.
@carolinamom2boys – her college plans are to apply to one of our state’s schools. (She has no interest in prestige schools.) We will not qualify for financial aid and we do not have a lot saved for college. Her only EC is theatre, as she had to drop her sport and her other EC to have enough time for theatre and academics. We are going to adjust her 504 Plan in the fall so she can have small group testing again. (We dropped it this year and it was a problem for her math state exam.)
I’d let her do theatre but she must keep up her grades. I’d check in with teachers regularly and if struggling a bit pull back until back to a decent level. Your kid needs to have a life other than studying 24/7, it is important socially and for their feelings of self-worth.
Balance!
Thanks, @RightCoaster – I like the idea of a regular check-in with teachers. D19 will be taking Theatre Tech as an elective so I know there is a required after-school element to the course requirements. Maybe we could have her only work on a tech crew in the fall production instead of acting and crew. She adores her theatre friends and I want her to be with her friends.
@OrangeFish most teachers would be happy to work with you in regards to your daughter’s situation. Most teachers want the kids to succeed. I’d send a note and explain what you are trying to accomplish and everything will work out fine. Your daughter will be happy with theatre, and she knows she has to keep grades in check. It’s a win for both sides. Good luck!
@OrangeFish I hate the idea of taking away an activity that a child loves but, if you already know the time commitment and your daughter’s grades suffered last time, maybe you should consider what would be different about doing the same routine all over again. If the theater time commitment is the same, what will change so that she can keep her grades up? I would guess that sophomore year won’t be any easier (and possibly harder) than freshman year. Perhaps figure out the specific problem - was she going to bed without finishing her homework? Did she feel like she needed more time to study for tests but it would get late and she just needed to go to sleep? Or was the problem more that she was prioritizing theater in her head and not taking school seriously?
Maybe you should look at how difficult it will be for her to get into the state schools and talk to her about those expectations. In my experience, high school teachers are open to talking to parents (of course) but they really want the kids to take the lead at this age. And it may turn into a nightmare for you to be keeping track of her progress/assignments. Perhaps just have her sit out for the fall and see if she can get settled into her classes…and then talk about theater options further into the school year.
Thanks, @homerdog for your suggestions. I think D19 had issues with executive function skills in the beginning of freshman year, particularly with breaking up longer term assignments and actually handing things in (!). We have backed off a great deal as parents are only invited to 504 Plan meetings in high school (compared to elementary and middle schools where parents are required to attend). We’ll be seeing her physician in August prior to school starting. We may also need to step up the meetings with the psychologist. I may need to talk with her theatre teacher, too, as student theatre assignments for the school year are pretty much assigned in September. I’m not sure what a “no theatre” participation approach would do for her Theatre Tech grade (which I know is only an elective).
That’s a great idea to talk to her theater teacher. I had no idea decisions for the year were made in Sept! Our high school has many productions and kids audition for them throughout the school year. I have to think the teacher would shed all kinds of light on the situation and could probably help make a plan!
Yes, @homerdog – they pretty much sketch out the year’s plan for Tech leadership and leading/main roles in August and then auditions take place in September and January for the main two productions. But the auditions are more “we’ll put you in main role 2 instead of 3”, so anyone that wants a minor role is doing the serious auditions as the other roles are already spoken for. D19 has already passed all the Theatre Tech exams (as a freshman) so I’m hoping she will gravitate more towards tech for Sophomore year (as it theoretically is less of a time commitment).
@OrangeFish First of all hugs and a huge YAY that it’s over for the year and you all get a bit of a break. I would probably look at a lot of things. I would look at her course load this year, was there anything in particular that gave her issues or was it overall work load? Is she set up for success with the right classes for next year? She has a 504, what is it for? Freshman year is tough and there is a lot to keep track of. Was it testing, understanding of the material, missing assignments, a particular subject? It can be easy to blame it on the EC but I’d try to get to the root of the issue as while theater is a ridiculous amount of time, it isn’t the whole semester.
That said, I would let her do tech, but not cast. It is still a huge chunk of time but far less. If she can be successful in fall with keeping grades up while doing tech, reconsider cast for spring (not sure if you have a winter play or not). taking away ALL fun isn’t healthy and generally will not get top performance out of kids but theater may or may not be the real issue. I have a child with major time management issues (S19) and how busy, or not, he is has little to no impact on his ability (or choice) to manage his time effectively. It’s a totally different issue but I could take everything away and it wouldn’t make an iota of difference with his particular issue. In his case I do plan to have him tested this summer as part of his physical as I am starting to realize there may be some ADHD going on that shows itself quite differently than what we see with his brother. He’s on the Aspie end of things so it’s hard to gauge things at times and while I am not at all convinced that is it, I do want to rule it in or out. At any rate, my only point with that is that I’d look at the 504 plan and the big picture of what her needs are, as well as outside time commitments.
I agree with the others, it is hard to move the gpa up and it gets harder over time. Depending on your state, they may or may not look at Freshman year, but sophomore will count quite a bit.
As for the teachers, it will vary by teacher. They do want to see your child succeed but they also want the child to drive the process. You will likely have success with initial engagement but may not be able to get any kind of regular update without nagging and repeated emails and even then, it will vary by teacher. I’ve had greater luck engaging the teacher and working with them to get peer tutoring started during the times available the school day, that kind of thing. Then your student has to own showing up for the extra help which is what the teachers like to see.
We still have 3 days left here and it is down to the wire for S19. 2 finals today as well as the presentation of a final project, one final project/presentation tomorrow. 2 classes where those finals could make a huge difference (as well as getting credit for missing assignments allegedly turned in). Depending on how those shake out we may be looking at requesting a schedule change or 2 for next year, which may or may not be granted!
Thank you for your fabulous post, @eandesmom !
D19’s 504 Plan is specifically for her ADHD. Her ADHD manifests so differently than her (S22) brother’s ADHD and I am trying my best to continue to support her.
I spoke with my better half and we’re thinking we’re going to talk with her theatre teacher early in the fall (first couple of weeks of school). We’ll also speak with her school counselor again (but the school counselors are so very overloaded!) and make some modifications to the 504 Plan.
There are so many “issues” D19 faced this year, including time management, breaking apart assignments into smaller chunks, check ins with teachers, advocating for herself with teachers, managing homework schedules, distractions (!) while making new friends, maturity (D19 has a summer birthday so she is young for her class/grade), organization, and the-time-suck-known-as-social-media, among other things. (We can toss in Hamilton in there somewhere, too.) Then add in Theatre (she did tech and acting plus “hanging out to help”) and it was just bad.
As for next year’s schedule, she did opt to NOT take an AP World History class (which is the usual approach at her school) and instead take World History 2 Honors. So I think we’re ok schedule wise. I am trying to arrange two summer tutors, however, to get her better prepared for her foreign language class as well as her math class. My thought is if we could build her skillsets and her confidence up over the summer, it would help her start school in the fall on a strong note.
Good luck with the last 3 days of school! I hope the finals and project go well, and you all can have a blissful break soon.
Son19 just finished today and he ended up acing all of his finals which is a huge relief. He ended up doing great for the year so we are proud. He will be taking a tougher schedule next year so he’ll have to work harder to keep the grades up and have better time management.
I’m trying to find one more EC item for him. He plays soccer and lacrosse. He is a member of the robotics team and participates when he can ( they meet a lot!) but can’t be there 100% and they are OK with that. He tried to run for student VP but did not get it, so was kind of bummed. Not sure he wants to do student gov stuff or steering committee. He likes math but does not want to do math team.
Does anybody have a kid on some sort of science team? Maybe one that leans more toward engineering? He likes science but he doesn’t want to be a scientist, he likes designing and building and figuring out how stuff works. I don’t know enough about all of the clubs to offer him advice.
Let me clarify , as an occupational therapist , I realize the importance of balance in one’s life , it’s the whole premise of my profession . Also, I’m not familiar with what theatre entails and the info regarding participating as part of the grade was not disclosed in the original post. Of course if it’s a required component of a class, she can’t give up theatre , so that wasn’t really a viable option. No one is suggesting that a student “study 24/7” or that they shouldn’t have an outside life. But with a child who has difficulty with executive functioning, overscheduling can set them up for failure. Also, I would be very careful
about telling a child that they will have to give an activity up if their grades slip if withdrawing the activity is not a possibly because of school requirements or because you don’t feel comfortable withdrawing it.
Addressing the college goals, I’m not sure what state you reside in , but I strongly recommend that you look at the Common Data Set for your state schools to look at avg GPA, test scores , academic requirements regarding recommended and required classes. It’s not just selective or prestigious schools that are getting more difficult to be accepted into. As the cost of college rises, more and more students are staying instate to attend school. I watched as many students at our high school who assumed that they would just go to the state flagship , get denied , waitlisted or offered the bridge program . If grades are not competitive for admission, and a family is not eligible for need based aid, they will be paying close to full price for tuition, room and board.
Good luck figuring out a way to make things work. It’s not always easy, but starting now will help.
@RightCoaster Science Olympiad includes engineering type events. Mostly (or maybe all) of the building events are technology and/or engineering type events. https://www.soinc.org/short_event_descriptions
One thing we have been trying with S19 recently is an electronic homework planner app that lets me see his workload and prioritization. It is still a work in progress and started too late in the year to have much impact but it might be worth you looking at.
Not sure if this link is allowed (not sure why it wouldn’t be but who knows) this is the resource we are currently using and in general it works fairly well. I like it as I can have it on my phone and see if he has checked stuff off, as well as on the computer.
this is another one that was suggested that is more visual and I’m going to possibly give S19 the option of this as an alternative. It’s basically a drag and drop sticky note system but can work well for different types of visual learners.
Of course they only help if they use it
I think engaging the drama teacher early, is good. I might suggest actually emailing them before school even starts to set up a meeting as they all get so crazy those first few weeks and you want to start it off right. A math tutor and FL tutor over the summer is great support as well and maybe have them lined up as backups if needed.
I have concerns about AP World and French 4 for S19. Not in his ability to do the work academically or comprehending the material, but it his ability to manage the time without being distracted by things he is more interested in. World History and French 3 are the nail biters for us this week.
Thanks for those links, @eandesmom ! I have bookmarked them both and sent myself an email 
to check them out.
D19 is good about using an electronic planner but I can’t view it. (And it doesn’t help matters that some of the teachers only update the online gradebook once or twice a quarter, so I can’t be sure something D19 says has been handed in has actually made its way to the teacher to be graded.)
Theatre teacher has already told students he is “off the grid” as of today, but I’ll try sending an email anyway. Worse thing is he doesn’t receive it right away.
D19 decided (!) to drop back on AP World specifically due to the assignment load she had in World History Honors this year. I told her I think she made a wise decision. (Have to praise her when she does something right, because this year has done a huge number on her self-esteem.)
D19 is currently thinking next year’s FL (Latin 3) will be it for her. She just cannot wrap her head around taking Latin 4 as a Junior, and I don’t blame her. Her strength is reading but her weakness is writing/spelling, and I don’t want to set her up for more failure. But she made it to the end of freshman year with her lowest grade being a C, so we’re going to celebrate that victory today.
Thanks, @carolinamom2boys – we have Naviance in our high school (we’re in Virginia) and have looked at both the averages for the high school as well as the Common Data Set. (In a former life I was a college administrator.)
D19 already knows the state flagship is out of reach for her, and I don’t think it would be a good fit, anyway. We’re looking at other state schools and she has already been on a few college tours, so she has a better sense of what the goal might be for after high school. Thankfully the state schools we are looking at will be within reach for us, even as full-pay.
@RightCoaster – D19 participated in Technology Student Assocation (TSA) in the past, and many of the programs are “applied science” (engineering and more hand-on work). In addition, the entire organization is run by students. Here’s a link: http://www.tsaweb.org/