My D17 was primarily using them for UK admissions and so needed 650+ in 2 to 3 tests and 700+ in her major.
Hi, all,
Looking for some advice about incentive, college visits, etc. In May my freshman daughter got what I can only describe as senioritis and will now probably end up with several A- instead of just one for advanced English that we expected (excellent teacher, but very tough grader, not sure anyone in class got an A). Back in January, when first semester grades came out, D was stressed out about that single A- and I told her not to worry about it, that it doesnāt matter in the grand scheme of things, and UCās donāt even calculate freshmen grades in their GPAās. Might have been a mistake - in May grades for math, bio and Spanish went down, but because teachers take a while to enter them into the system, I didnāt learn of it until almost finals. D admitted she simply stopped putting in the effort because she no longer thought freshman grades matter. Yes, there were some distractions - new boyfriend, BFF drifting apart, etc, but as she admitted, she simply stopped working hard. On the one hand, I donāt want to put too much pressure with grades, on the other hand yes, I worry where she ends up going to college and grades are part of the formula. Iād love for her to go to a private uni rather than UC, even a lower-ranking one, because I believe privates in general have more resources available or accessible, easier time choosing classes, and just overall better quality of life - I might be wrong, of course. But merit aid at top 30 colleges requires top credentials, and I know that if she makes it her goal, D could get the needed grades, test scores, etc. Hence comes the gap between capable and willing to work hard to get it.
In an effort to set the right expectations and also take off pressure, Iāve been long saying things like "my alma mater (AKA everyoneās dream school) is a lottery for everyone, so donāt fixate on it, you can be happy in any other school if you set your mind to it. Well, now D is saying if she has virtually no chance to get into the very best school, why bother exerting herself since any second-best will do just as well? I know, I know, culpa mea for building up a dream school in the first place, my only excuse is I did that long before finding cc and has since been trying to mitigate the damage.
Anyway, wanted to hear some advice. What should I do - try to do college visits earlier than later so that D could get excited about some other schools and get incentive to work hard to get there? What if I just end up replacing high reach dream school with just a reach one? Or just let things be and let her enjoy high school without any pressure whatsoever?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
A+, A and A- are all 4.0 in the UC GPA and most colleges.
I wish all I had to worry about was A-'s
Having been through this once with DS16, @typiCAmom my suggestion is to let your child set the overall pace but make sure she understands that different levels of effort will definitely lead to different options available to her. We started tours spring of sophomore year for that reason. No college is open admissions anymore ( except maybe some CC and for profits ) and even if they were the student needs to be prepared to do college level work. I said it to DS as āI expect you to use the gifts you have been given and push yourself enough to know what those gifts are but I do not expect perfectionā. Exploring their interests beyond academics is also important and that takes time. Shadowing or exploring career options through camps, etc also takes time. Developing social skills through ECs, paid work, volunteering or just hanging out also takes time. All are important before our DC select a college. DS applied to 6 schools, of varying selectivity, and got into them all with a wide range of merit aid offered. At least one school, that he really liked, would have offered more if he had been willing to work for just a bit more GPA ( guaranteed merit based on stats). Ultimately, I donāt think that school was the best fit so it worked out fine but he was well aware what 2-3 more Aās would have meant. We plan a similar approach with our DD20. She is ahead of her brother simply by hearing discussions in the house and going on a couple of tours with her brother. She is already showing more interest in preparing for testing than her brother ever did but she has gained the wisdom that one does not need to take EVERY honors and AP class to go to a great college.
@VickiSoCal, thanks for your support. I am not too worried about those A-, more like general incentive for the next few years. Btw, my son is probably not as bright as his sister, as far as I can see at his tender age, but he is a clear techie and so I am not worried for his future even if he gets mediocre grades. D is a fuzzie and for her the right degree might open up more doors, but again, itās not just about prestige. Thanks!
@typiCAmom Iām right there with you! D20 is one of those kids who will put in the minimum effort to get the job done. Itās so frustrating. But, Iām slowly (very slowly) learning to let go and let her own her decisions - and the consequences. I, too, would be happy with all A-. She goofed off and got overconfident in one class and got a B first semester. She did bring it up to an A-, but in her school an A is an A, so I hope she learned her lesson.
S20 took ACT today, no prep. thought he killed the math, but didnt finish science or reading; and thought those two were hard; didnt know the chemistry questions.
he was asking about how the tests are graded. Anyone know? are they on curves? if a kid misses a certain percentage, can that translate into a percentage of 36? iāll look it up at some point . . .
D20 also took the ACT test today. She thought the math was pretty easy but one of the reading passages was a bit confusing. Interested to see what she gets on this. She took a practice ACT test at her school earlier in the year and did pretty well.
Can I ask why freshman are taking the ACT Iām just curious. I donāt plan on having my D20 take it until junior year. Thatās when my older ones took it. Did I miss something?
My daughter did the Duke Tip ACT test in the 7th grade and wanted to test again just to see where she was at.
@MuggleMom no early testing here.
@MuggleMom my S20 will probably take the ACT or SAT this fall. D18 did this, and she feels the standardized testing experience helped her with the PSAT her junior year, when it counted for National Merit. As S20 really wants that NMSF title (and heās very confident that he can do it), I want to give him every advantage possible.
I have other kids who have not/will not test this early. Itās a very individual thing.
D21 took the Duke Tip SAT in 7th grade (old SAT) then took the new SAT in 8th grade and will take it again in Aug before 9th grade starts.
She likes taking the official test without anything on the line. Each time she does this it helps her confidence.
Our goal is NMSF, not selective schools. She does not prep for it as it is too early. But she does ācompeteā with herself.
The only thing I am out is 46 dollars.
DS20 is taking a proctored practice test as I type. This will help start to focus his prep. He wonāt take a real test until March andmay notbother with ACT.
Thanks for the responses. I was hoping that I hadnāt missed anything. Its good to know nothing major has changed since my big kids did all this stuff. I seem to feel like college admissions is like falling down the rabbit hole. I never know what surprise is lurking around the next corner.
@ShrimpBurrito our school actually has all the 10th graders take the PSAT as practice to prep for 11th grade (its also nice to have scores for summer programs at the beginning of junior year when apps go out).
^^^ Why: heās kid #3; and from what weāve learned in recent past, a baseline ACT score will help our family determine if heāll take AP classes or Dual Enrollment classes. Both older kids were offered merit scholarships from state flagship that basically penalized the credit hours accrued from DE classes, but not AP class credits. We thought this would give a guideline for helping us figure it out if he did particularly well as we can easily compare to older two. Thatās our reasoning. He could have taken duke tip, but didnt- as we really didnt see a purpose in that for him. We have 4 kids, not a lot of savings, so merit is important to us.
@MuggleMom Our Sās school will offer the PSAT to 10th graders as well. It is great practice.
I feel strongly that there really is no one right schedule for standardized testing. It depends on the kid and the family circumstances. Same with visiting colleges. S20 has already done a few campus tours as a tagalong with D18, but will see a couple more this summer that are geared towards his interests and goals. Many seasoned posters on CC would claim āitās too early!ā but itās what we feel we need to do given our circumstances (five teens at home, with a very tight scheduleāwe take windows of opportunity to visit colleges whenever we can, with the kids who are ready).
DS20 did ok on his proctored practice SAT exam but not as well as he hoped. He said he was groggy and didnāt sleep well last night. DH and I are traveling and the boys are on their own for the first time so Iāll take it as ātruthā more than an excuse. He was worried he wouldnāt wake in time to wake his older brother (who always over sleeps) in time to get to the testing center so he barely got any sleep. Personally Iām happy with his score at this point, 1470/1600 with some targeted prep, especially in math, I can see him in the sold 1500 range by March and ready for the real PAST Oct 2018.
But most importantly, he feels good about his score and confident that he can improve.
@MuggleMom, Iām in the same boat as you. D is 8-10 yrs younger than her siblings and Iām finding out whatās changed.
Just like @ShrimpBurritoās S, D has been visiting campuses since she was 6! She hasnāt gone on her own tours but we have been attending sports and theater events at different schools and its given her a āsocialā perspective. I imagine that real college visits with tours will happen throughout junior year.
Its always satisfying to see that something youāve told your child has āstuckā. Last week, she came home excited that the President of her schoolās CSF was accepted to quite a few of top schools. This is the first time someone she knows through school has been admitted to top schools.
I guess she canāt relate to her siblings and their friends. I guess thereās too big an age difference.
Hi Class of 2020 parents! I see some friendly avatars that I recognize from the Class of 2017 thread. I have a D20 as well and am looking forward to spending the next few years with you!
My D20 is a dancer, a musical theater geek, loves her bassoon, and is a STEM girl. Right now Iād guess sheāll probably look for a school where she can continue with dance, music, or theater as a sideline to CS or some other techy field.
D17 is a competitive fencer and will be fencing in college as well, so I can answer some questions about sports and recruiting, or at least point you to people here who know more than I do and are helpful with recruiting questions.
I have an awesome DS23, who is also a great student but much more laid back, unless itās some sort of competitive Minecraft game.
And to chime in on the latest topic, my D17 took the PSAT once, just missed the cut-off for NMSF, took the SAT twice (late junior and early senior year), and the ACT late junior year. Our upstate NY school district doesnāt push early test taking. She did self-study books, but no formal prep classes. She also took a couple of SAT IIs, but didnāt end up needing them except for one school application (out of 9).
I do think it would have been better if she had taken the PSAT as a 10th grader once for practice, it might have made the difference for NMSF qualification, so D20 will probably take a PSAT practice run next year.