@mebmama Hope you have as easy a time with college decision has you did with the prom dress! That’s amazing!
Is anybody else’s senior seeming a bit down? DS20 does the last couple of days. He says nothing is going on, he doesn’t really understand it himself. Just wondering if its a normal part of the process.
He is in to several safeties…one he especially likes. Still waiting to hear on a few schools that were higher up on his list but we won’t know until March. Not sure if its the waiting that is wearing him out? He seems to be questioning everything.
There is a bit more to it. HIs gf goes to the school he is in. Its an OOS school and a good one, but I have always liked that he didn’t seem to be following her, that he liked what he liked and she liked what she liked and that being together would be nice but not part of the equation. Now I am worried he is leaving behind what he wants to head her way.
Don’t get me wrong, its a good school. He could do worse. But career wise I think the others that he initially had as his top 3 or 4 would be better.
Not sure if its just that he has no answers and won’t for another month and a half.
Or am I overthinking and this is typical senior behavior?
I think until they get all their results (including aid packets, so they know the final net cost) the waiting is hard and it is draining.
I also believe it is somewhat natural to consider where friends or a signficant other might be attending as a part of the larger picture about where you will thrive. It shouldn’t be the only reason but think about it like this- if you had a choice between working somewhere with people you enjoyed being around VS strangers I think most of us would at least consider the former. Choosing a school has so many facets, there really is no right way to do it.
@mtemmd We have some weirdness here too! With one twin, it’s down to two great in-state options. Really, she can’t go wrong. But she has such apathy about it. I’m terrified of what this means for the long term. At dinner the other night she literally made her sister put her options into a “spin the wheel” app to pick where she might go. We have back to back admitted student days this long weekend, and she seems stressed and unexcited about both of them. I wish I could get to the root of where this apathy is coming from, as it seems like a deeper issue to me.
But it’s scary, no? Where will you spend the next four years of your life? I think maybe our kids have too many options and making this decision seems daunting. I didn’t have many options, so my decision was easy!
This is the end of one journey and onto a new one. Leaving friends that they have gone to school with their entire life to going to a location where they have to start over. There are so many what ifs. Making the right decision can be scary. I informed my daughter that we are not having any serious discussions until all of the decisions are in. It doesn’t make since to discuss something that may not happen. She has been accepted to all of her EA schools with Merit so far but it’s only a matter of time before the ax drops and it may be one of the top 3. We have decided of the 5 EA schools which one is the top choice and which ones we will decline. The wait for RD is unbearable for me so I can only guess what it must be like for them.
Thanks! It helps to hear I’m not alone. His gf is coming home for the weekend and then they are going together back to her school for a few days (he can do admitted students and then they can hang out). He should be over the moon. But he just seems down.
You are both right. It is scary. And consideration as to who you are with not just where you are is important. I guess it will be all stuff we are weighing over the next couple of months.
I keep telling my S, who has his choices narrowed to three colleges, that there is no wrong decision. We did the research early on, and all three remaining schools are a great fit for him. I’m hoping that takes some pressure off.
D20 and I realized that we are traveling every weekend for the next 6 weeks for either sports or college visits. Initially, I planned to do all college visits/ re-visits over spring break but she has been invited to interview for scholarships/ honors colleges and that has meant upping the timetable. By mid-March, we’ll have visited all the colleges except one that are still in contention and that she has been accepted into. She’s hoping that she’ll be accepted to 3+ more by the end of March and we’ll make visits to any financially viable in April. The good news is that I am hoping by mid- March she can have limited herself to 1 or 2 favorites to compare to any March acceptances.
Just finding this site now. I only went back a few pages, but I have some thoughts before I get on with my day:
_ We found a prom dress (petite even) for my oldest daughter (graduating college in May) at Burlington for $19.99 (the same exact style in the bridal shop for $129). My D20 will probably want to buy her dress at goodwill. 
- I’m SOOOO kicking myself for not encouraging my daughter to apply EA. She finally figured out what schools she had interest in late this past summer and we barely made app deadlines and definitely missed out on the amazing merit opportunities like Stamps, Robertson, etc.
- I think kids in general are under so much pressure these days and I know this decision has got to be daunting. It’s going to be a long 45 days until we start getting some answers.
Thanks to everyone who has posted ideas and info on this site. I’m definitely late to this party but am glad to have some folks to go through this with!
@MamaFx3 Welcome! Awesome deal on that prom dress! Also, good luck to your daughter on the acceptances in March.
I feel pretty fortunate that D20 is dating a younger schoolmate. Now I’m assured that her college choice did not take into account her current romance.
Welcome @MamaFx3. I’m always sorry to hear about missed opportunities for things like merit. Sorry about that. But it sounds like you have a very accomplished D20 since the Robertson has so many high-achieving winners. It’s a good one! My D17 applied and that application was pretty brutal.
Yes, this waiting is really draining! The process is so long! S20 hasn’t been able to cross any off his list, as I think he is really just hoping to get into some others in RD. Another thing is his major. He’s applied to all business schools, but I’m not convinced he’d love business. I think he picked it because it seems employable. So even though some place like IU has Kelley, a great business school, I’m not sure it’s the best pick for him since who knows if he’ll stay in business. So many factors to consider!
DS20 is in a funk right now as well. He’s narrowed his EA schools down from 10 to 5, and were still waiting for UConn on 3/1. Accepted students day at UMass Amherst was solid, but did not move him significantly in either direction. Went to another one today, and that one may have dropped off the list. We have 3 more accepted students days between now and 4/15, so it looks like we’re in this for the long haul. Can’t imagine this process had he done mostly RD. As daunting as the decision process is, at least he knows he’s in at several places he could be happy.
We have also emphasized that there is no bad/wrong decision. Seems to have relived some stress.
Thanks - it does help so much to know we are not alone! @bigmacbeth my D20 got 36 on the ACT, which helps, but she also wants to go to the kind of schools that don’t offer much by way of merit aid. We have some college savings but cannot afford the EFC they think we can so there will be some tough decisions come April.
So glad it seems pretty normal. Such a stressful time. I’m just going to dial back a bit, be there to listen or for a hug, and just ride out the next month or two and see where we land.
My son is totally in a funk. I think if he could commit to a school it would be better, but as of now he still is torn between 3 and they all are pulling him for different reasons. He really doesn’t know what to do and I’m no help. When his Dad and I went to college we just went to the school in our hometown.
Exactly @cshell2 we picked one school, applied and went there. I don’t think it ever occurred to me what I would do if I didn’t get in.
Keep in mind that they are 2nd semester seniors and SO tired of high school BUT just realizing that going to college also means leaving where they are and everything that goes with their current routine (the family dog, Saturday pancakes, their car, etc). Soon will come “soiling the nest” which makes leaving easier, and may make you count the days. Parental patience will be needed between now and move in weekend!
We went on a college visit today and kind of just wandered around and ate in the dining hall most of the freshman use and DS told me he just feels so uncomfortable and out of place on campus like everyone is looking at him and knows he doesn’t belong there. When we got home he was all over the family pets like he’d been away for a month instead of a day.
On the plus side we talked to a professor and he really bonded with him over a paper the prof had wrote. DS read it before we went up there and had questions about his research which led to a nice little demonstration on his teaching style. He did a great job explaining things and had DS all excited about learning more about it.
@MamaFx3 - we are in a similar situation. The school that she has received a full tuition and fees for all 4 years is no longer as exciting as it was before she visited others. She is a finalist for a scholarship at another school as well, hoping to get the full tuition scholarship. The others do not offer merit but say that they meet demonstrated need. RD is coming and I hate to say that I hope that she doesn’t get accepted into certain schools (bad mommy) because that will help us narrow it down and take a more practical approach. Our EFC is about $10,000 more than we can afford and we decided that loans are not on the table. I believe DD20 is bracing herself and we have had plenty of conversations about our pre application discussions that we would not send applications to any school that she does not like or is not willing to attend. We visited all except a few last minute additions with one ruled out already after seeing how little merit they offered. We went into this with eyes wide open so I have to remind her who chose to apply to these schools and why. It takes a lot of energy, much more that when DS09 was going to college. We didn’t do ED or EA, only RD for 8 schools. Was able to narrow it down to 2 schools almost immediately and after accepted students day for both a decision was made. I’m trying not to have any more conversations until all FA/Merit/decisions are in hand.