@AlwaysLearn - I’m impressed your son is considering not bringing it. My son fully intends to take his, but his Dad and I might put our feet down and insist it stay at home at least at first so he gets out and explores the campus and learns what other things there are to do.
I think a handwritten thank you card would be appropriate.
Wow, my D lives on a few hundred a semester, if that! Will send S to school with about that amount for his first semester.
Thanks for asking about the money. I’m torn about that. S20’s summer job was canceled, so he’s going in with less than he’d hoped for. I want him to be able to buy things as needed, but I also want him to have to budget and prioritize so he doesn’t uber and eat out everyday.
My D19 initially had a budget of $100 per month during the school year, saved from her summer job. She ended up getting two jobs on campus because she needed more money- she ended up spending a fair bit on Uber/Lyft for doctor and twice weekly physical therapy appointments, as well as trips to the in-network pharmacy for her meds each month. Unfortunately campus health and the walkable pharmacy were out of network. That aside, since it’s definitely out of the norm for most kids, her initial budget was beyond adequate. She spent like $5 a week on laundry and maybe $20 a month on trains into the city, where they would try and do free/student discounted things. She ate out only twice in the time she was in school prior to covid.
Visiting from class of 2021 ? S19 completes his first year of college. H decided $200/month…however, did not really define what he pays for/what we pay for so my suggestion would be to get down on paper exactly who pays for what. When S would run out of things he would ask me to order online…soap, tissues, etc…I was confused about whether that was his responsibility or ours. Was his “stipend” as he and dad called it just fun money or for those unfun items? I’m still not sure.
Jumping in here too regarding spending money. It really depends on the social situation at the college and the location. S19 at Bowdoin made $3000 over the summer prior to freshman year. Spent only $900 the whole year and that included books (which he was super frugal about - was able to find great deals and use online resources when possible) and one pair of $140 running shoes that he decided to buy on his own on a whim even though we usually pay for his running stuff. Kids don’t eat out a lot there. $100 of that $900 was spent when he had a high school friend in town and they ate out for two days. So it really depends on if they can get by on the meal plan.
Also agree that you need to decide what they are buying. For us, it was books, extra food, haircuts, transportation anywhere he needed to go and laundry. He didn’t buy any clothes while he was there. If he did, it would have been out of his money. He didn’t seem to ever run out of toiletries since we sent him with a lot I guess…and he’s a boy. Lol. We did send him back with some shampoo and a few other things after winter break. He spent just a bit on transportation to and from the airport to get home for breaks but was frugal about that too, finding students to share taxis with and getting a free ride with a friend once. You might be amazing how kids spend their own hard earned money versus how they spend ours!
Yes, adding to the above- D didn’t need to buy any toiletries while at school, as we had her well stocked upon move-in. She also doesn’t shop for clothes/shoes really. She didn’t buy really any of either at school besides her team’s uniform, and that was covered by the school. She did buy one pair of gym shorts with her school name and a sweater for me at the bookstore’s fall clearance event- spent like $15 total I think. She also purchased her own books, but she had a separate book budget set aside- and still has most of it left for next year.
A written list is a good idea. I need to brainstorm all the expenses that might come up and sit down with him and divy them up. I was planning on paying the couple hundred a year for a transportation pass, so he can take the bus and light rail pretty much anywhere in the metro area for free. Laundry is free on campus, but he has to pay for any printing. I can’t imagine him using much in the way of personal care items because he doesn’t now. I’m guessing what he takes from home will cover him the entire semester. I’m torn on the books because I can use 529 funds for that…
In our family, we pay for tuition, housing and books. Before moving into the dorms, we bought shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, school supplies, etc. When he ran out, it was his responsibility to either order online or go out and purchase more. The feeling was that if it was too easy, he would give supplies to his dorm-mates or be wasteful because we would just buy more. We felt that if he had to purchase it on his own, he would be more conservative with how he used things. That said, we gave Amazon, Target, Rite Aid, Trader Joes, Peets gift cards as at Xmas, Easter, bday, etc. so it was really our money that he spent but his responsibility to budget it. If the Target GC was used for snacks instead of shampoo, that was his decision.
Entertainment was his responsibility. He joined a club sports team and paid for dues on his own. He pays for fraternity dues with money from his summer job. Students can use the bus for free so if he chooses to use Uber/Lyft, he pays for that. We watch his bank account closely and make sure that he is doing okay.
When he moved into an apartment, we gave him rent + utilities plus $100/mo for food. We slowly saw his bank balance going up. I think he was living off of ramen and mac n cheese and saving the rest. - again, his choice. One thing about utilities - there are many options for cable and wifi. Make sure your student and his/her roommates talk to each other and make fiscally responsible decisions before choosing a plan.
ETA: Regarding books, we rent most from Amazon. If he needs to buy anything at the bookstore, we ask for the receipt just to confirm that we are paying for books and not other things that the bookstore sells.
Thanks for all of the helpful tips. What about credit cards? Do you add their name to your card?
We got a credit card for my oldest when he turned 18. It was through his bank and is in his name only. He set up auto pay from his checking account and overdraft protection from his savings account. 
for our kids - any spending money, books, computer, etc is on them. Venmo is great, and our 3 oldest have it, including S20. they rarely carry cash any more.
UBER is important to us, and we pay for that for our 3 oldest too. I like it for late nights, and safety reasons.
We will get a credit card with S20s name on it; our account and for emergencies only; not to be kept in his wallet.
Our S20 is smart but scattered; and i’m planning on setting up a password protected file with all of his important info: DL #; Health Insurance info and Auto insurance # & scan of the cards; CC number for emergencies; family and siblings Phone #s; his bank account/routing #- and etc. He’ll store it in the cloud somewhere. Lose/break/theft of phone and computer - you can still access that info. The cloud is sure handy, right?!
We got our D’s cards on our account. I get a notification any time they spend even $1. And when D19 lost her card, it was easy for me to lock her card immediately. They are supposed to use it for necessities, or ask in advance for anything else.
My son has been an authorized user on my credit card since he started driving which has worked well, so we’ll probably just keep that going for now.
My question is don’t they need their own separate credit card to start building up their credit and FICO scores? I’m thinking about having D get a credit card with a small limit ($1,000?) and making sure she pays it off any balance every month. Thoughts?
That was our thought and is why we set it up as soon as he turned 18 and made sure it was on auto pay. When he moved into an apartment, we told him to be the one with his name on the utility bills (which were also auto pay) and to have his roommates Venmo him for utilities.
@cstp28 As a former Kiwanis President, we would receive a handwritten note. The note would be shared and passed around the room at our weekly meeting. Congrats to your daughter!!
I think it depends on the card. The Barclay card I have is reporting on DS’s credit report even though he’s just an authorized user.
Thanks f
It’s actually my daughter: She’s a gamer girl. LOL During the school year in high school she was very disciplined about only playing on Friday and/or Saturday nights, however, now that it’s summer, she’s on every night. We are thinking the same thing as you though: that she should bring it 2nd semester if she decides to because 1st semester will be a big transition with lots of other things to do/explore.