@kethra He got UTD in last night as well! We are moving along…Texas Tech, OSU and UNT are next!
Hi everyone! Cross-posting from the other thread as some of these schools might be of interest for the students of this thread. 
Well. we talked it over with S21 this weekend. He decided that even though he’s already been accepted to Pitt, he might want to have a few more options on the “merit currently unknown” front besides Loyola U Maryland. So he put in apps to Loyola, Saint Joseph’s U, Goucher, and Washington College.
Mr. InfiniteWaves and I were going to use our “Parent Pick” card (we did this with S19 too 
) for SJU so this was a welcome development. As Loyola alums, we are Jesuit university fans. And SJU is very similar to Loyola, only in Philly. So, it could give S21 solid city setting options in Pittsburgh, Philly, and Baltimore.
S21 visited SJU and Goucher when we were college planning with S19. He did not come with us for the WColl visit with S19. We managed to do open houses at Pitt and Loyola a year ago. The pandemic put a damper on spring “revisit” plans for the others.
Anyway, Goucher offers another Baltimore option. And I put WColl in there as a wild card. A few of the best writers I’ve worked with (in the Baltimore/DC area) went there. I have a very positive impression of the English program. S19 got in with a great merit scholarship that put it within budget for us.
For anyone interested, there are no application fees in the Common App for SJU, Goucher, and WColl. I’ll cross post to the 2021 3.0-3.4 thread as this might be helpful there too.
I don’t want to put that info out publicly, but it’s a northern suburb of Seattle.
Hello all, I’m new to this group, although I participated in a parents group for my older DS several years ago. DS2 is a senior and has been a good student through most of high school, but he is really not thriving in distance learning. While his unweighted GPA is a bit higher than 3.4, I’m wondering if he’ll hit 3.0 this semester. Against my advice, he is taking a heavy load, including calculus and astronomy. Throughout September, I urged him to switch out of these two classes and into statistics and environmental science, which I actually think he would enjoy (as opposed to suffering through), but he continued to shrug off my advice. At the same time, he is doing what appears to be the bare minimum in his other classes, and his grades so far reflect that. And so here we are.
I worry a great deal about his attitude, which I don’t think can be blamed on the impact of covid, although that certainly hasn’t helped. He still seems to think it is the teacher’s job to get and keep his interest in class, rather than his job to figure out how to engage with the material and get the work done, and so he lacks initiative and has a tendency to blame his teachers for his struggles. I don’t think this attitude is going to work well for him in college. At the same time, he has big ambitions that don’t match his level of effort. He’s such a good, hard-working kid in other areas (at the jobs he’s had, in the sport he plays), and he’s quite bright. It’s really very frustrating.
I had hoped that he would be a candidate for merit aid, but that seems less and less likely. He hasn’t taken the SAT yet, but is scheduled for late October, so I’m hopeful he will score well. We’ll see.
Just looking for commiseration I guess! I am so disappointed for him–he made the varsity team in his sport last spring and was crushed when the season was cancelled, and he is very bitter about how his senior year is turning out.
@dclily I’m sure COVID is making things harder for him, as with most kids. He sounds a lot like my son who didn’t get engaged until he found something that he became really interested in (environmental science). Some kids just take longer to find their groove.
My D21 decided against Utah State. We visited last month and she didn’t like the lack of diversity (we saw three people of color in four hours on campus) and wasn’t thrilled with the town.
@Johnny523 , thank you for your kind words. Regarding your D, both my kids value diversity and I do think it is worth seeking out if you can. It’s just nice to have a wide variety of viewpoints and experiences in an educational setting. Good luck to her.
dclily, the way you describe your son in your second paragraph sounds very similar like my son. It’s difficult to watch. Despite our best efforts to guide them, they do what they think is best with the little life experience they have.
I’ve been checking in with this thread for a bit…but had to respond to @dclily I feel ya! I have a bright girl who took her foot off the gas at the beginning of Jr year. We thought she had turned a corner (working with teachers etc). Then COVID hit and she couldn’t recover. Her UW GPA is 3.4. Thankfully this year is starting a little better. She has let go of her big UG goals and is refocusing on finding a place she can thrive — smaller classes, hopefully an HC, where she can get her footing back and try to go big in grad school (she still talks about med school but I can’t imagine that big of a turnaround!). It’s so hard to watch their dreams falter. She also has a far too rigorous courseload!
She’s applying to a lot of the schools @InfiniteWaves mentioned. A college counselor also recommended Loyola Chicago — said it was “diverse in the best way” Not sure what that means?!
@Cof22mom I have a S17 who took classes at Loyola for a semester and I have a degree from there. Beautiful campus right on the lake. Diverse in that there is a huge mix of students in every way possible- cultural, commuter, Residential, geographic. I had friends from my time there who lived down the street and some that were from foreign countries and many different states. My son made friends there easily, enjoyed his classes and found them challenging in a stimulating way. Nice school spirit and the area around the school is much nicer when o was there. There is a second campus on the Gold Coast that is an easy el ride away. I think there were more classes offered there for undergrads when I was at school. Seems more law and business oriented now. My son ultimately returned to his ‘home’ school but very much enjoyed his time there.
I could have written your post word for word. Only difference is my son is class of 2022. It is so hard to sit back and watch the lack of effort knowing that it will bite them in the butt and keep them from the totally obtainable goals that now have become ambitious goals.
@ffgiaco Don’t despair re: merit aid. I have one like yours, and it is frustrating. Mine applied with a 3.0 gpa and a 32 ACT, and he did well with merit aid ($25-$35k). He didn’t apply to any top schools, but they were all in the top 200ish range. He was even invited into the honors program at UMaine.
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Thanks for the reassurance. Problem is my son’s criteria for schools are very specific and the 100% deal breaker is any amount of snow. Add to that near the ocean, 5000+ students and a football program for starters. I am open to suggestions. His list is changing as his grades decrease. Current first choice is San Diego State. Others that have been added to the list CSU Long Beach, UH Manoa due to being near the ocean. Chico State, UNLV and Arizona State are on the list due to no snow. Oh and mom and dad’s criteria is a COA around $25K.
I really need to be talked off the ledge. S21’s Oct 3rd SAT score that we had to drive all the way to ID for came back at 1480. While I know that is a great score, because we are chasing merit scholarships, I fear that it won’t be enough as his GPA uw is 3.53. I admit to blowing my top at S when I saw the score as he did absolutely NO preparation at all for that score. He got National Hispanic Recognition on his PSAT where he scored a 1460, so I had really expected him to get at least a 1500. I know how absurd this all sounds and probably I should be ashamed of myself for blowing up at that very good score. I just can’t help but feel that his scholarship chances at UTD just got cut in half. He’s also applying to TAMU, UT, ASU, and is already accepted at MSU. Studying CS.
Others may feel differently and be a bit more sensitive with their response to you, but I personally can’t be warm and fuzzy when I hear about parents yelling at their kids over grades and test scores. So I’m not really sorry to say but, yes you should be ashamed. I understand that you’re disappointed, I appreciate that you expect better, and you feel as though you need higher schools to receive the merit you want. But consider the following:
- Those grades and scores are well above average - and definitely above those of most people this thread (3.0-3.4) was created for.
- "Blowing your top" is not going to make the scores higher.
- Making your S feel as though he's failed you somehow, is not going to help is mental state.
- Where you go to school does not define who you are, and you can be happy and successful coming out of any school.
Good luck.
@eb23282 I appreciate you sharing this much needed perspective. I must say that it wasn’t my proudest moment as a parent.
@kethra I don’t normally post on this page but I think you should be gentle with yourself. My guess is that you were upset because you think your S’s choices will be more limited now and you only wish the best for him. We are all on edge these days. I certainly lose my cool and say things to my kids I’m not proud of. After I cool off, I apologize from the bottom of my heart - say that I’m sorry and my anger was misplaced and that parents aren’t perfect and make mistakes.
I’m sure your S will be just fine. Our D with tons of rigor and a strong GPA just got her Oct SAT back and didn’t even hit 1400. 1480 is an amazing score. You’ve seen the scales, right? He probably got something like six wrong on the entire test!
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@kethra big hug
@kethra I’m sorry. This whole process is very stressful for us. My D is dragging her feet on her essay and it’s driving me mad! A 1480 is an amazing score and I can’t see that not giving great merit.
Thank you all so much for the kind words. I know I was wrong, but as @homerdog said, all I can do is apologize to my son, admit my mistake, and tell him (I’m sure not the last time), that “parents aren’t perfect and make mistakes.” I haven’t seen the scales, I will try to find them to take a look.
I guess it was some of the frustration that @dclily and @ffgiaco expressed above so well about seeing the mistakes that your child is making by not engaging and at least putting forth a solid effort (not even expecting their best effort) and how these decisions will limit their choices because of their lack of effort.
@Momof3B I felt that hug! 
@AndreaLynn I am in the same boat with our son! I go back and forth about whether I need to back off and let him drive the process, and suffer the natural consequences to…“what am I thinking?” I have to stay on his case! The stakes of him missing the deadlines is too high and would probably mean that he wouldn’t meet the deadlines to apply for aid. So I try to nag the least amount possible, but I’m totally stressed.