Parents of the HS Class of 2021 (Part 3)

I hate the roommate-finding on social media thing. It’s like sorority rush before you even get there. Who likes me? Will she be my roommate? Just ugh. Not a good way to start college. So glad Colgate is random. I’ve heard their questionnaire is pretty long and they do a good job of matching. If D was headed to a school where she could find a roommate, I’m not sure what my advice would have been!

10 Likes

My D21 says finding a roommate feels like she is on Tinder.

9 Likes

Are those tiny ones durable and waterproof? I just got one of those roll-up ones. I hope he uses it, since it won’t be as hot and humid up there (hopefully, not bugs either). I do hope he finds time to just relax here and there, and venture out into the world on his own. Ah…to be 18!

Well, kids can find roommates through social media, through the school’s housing process (most provide roommate matching of some sort), or they can decide to go random. So it kind of covers all of the bases!

1 Like

My daughter took the easy route and is rooming with a girl she knows from her travel softball team. Because Miami requires you to live in the honors college and only honors students are allowed she gave up a spot in the honors college to room with her friend who did not apply for honors. Her mom and I were not happy about it but she was really stressing over having to live with someone she didn’t know.

Another thing about Miami is you can’t pick the dorm you want to live in. Students select an LLC and the school slots the LLC’s into the various dorms as they see fit. The LLC my daughter and her roommate selected is “Out of State” LLC. I thought that was a kind of strange LLC but whatever.

2 Likes

Yeah she tried patio too, didn’t like it. I guess part of the problem is she can be shy/introverted until she’s friends with someone and then she becomes more of an extrovert. She’s just struggling making any first moves and I don’t know how many are reaching out to her. The whole process has hurt her and put a damper on things. Doesn’t help she’s in the middle of several AP exams this week so maybe when those are over some stress will be off her back and she can work on finding a roommate. She’s dealing with fear of rejection right now. I think having the school pick is a better option for her.

7 Likes

I wonder if the roommate search is a little more difficult this year since students haven’t been able to actually meet in person at an accepted student event and form natural bonds. Although I know a mom whose D met and chose her roommate at an event like that a few years ago. She checked a lot of the boxes of someone she could see getting along with but within a few weeks of living together, it was not working out. I asked D how she formed her group and part of it seemed to be that the girls in her group actually responded or reached out to her and kept in contact.

3 Likes

FWIW, my D went random because she didn’t like the social media vibe either. She had a much better 1st year roommate experience than most students she know that found their roommate in advance. And, she lived in a quad, so 4 girls who didn’t know each other at all.

6 Likes

Look into Zenni. These glasses are so affordable and they often have sales. A few years ago I was able to get a pair for one of my kids with a simple prescription for @$20! My prescription is the most expensive and I was still able to get a pair under $100 if I remember correctly. Ask the optometrist for the prescription including the (pupil distance) os/od numbers. They never seem to try to pressure us to buy their products. Our family and relatives have purchased numerous inexpensive glasses/prescription sunglasses on Zenni and been pleased…great option for a backup pair even if you purchase one pair from optometrist.

2 Likes

I am hearing more and more stories like this. I’m going to encourage my D to chose this route. I think that is what the universe is trying to tell her anyways.

6 Likes

Ugh, I hate hearing kids are stressing about roommates, it makes me sad that they are starting off their college experience like this. It also brings me back to when D19 was trying to find a roommate and went through all of the stages - people not answering her, people she didn’t think she would like messaging her and she didn’t know how to be polite but not give off a roommate vibe, people that seemed great then all of a sudden stopped answering. Luckily it worked out but it was a hard few weeks.

D21 hasn’t gotten to that point yet. Boulder assigns your dorm first then you can either find a roommate with the same dorm or go random. Lots of kids are already online finding roommates but she is waiting, she figures why go through the stress of finding someone then they may not even end up in the same dorm so she would have to start all over.

4 Likes

I’m so proud of my son this week. One of the other students didn’t come to school and present and my son volunteered. Had an AP test the next day. He’s been up late and up early, working weekends, all of the AP kids at his school are just getting hammered at least through next week. He said he got on a “comedic high” and had the class laughing and enjoying it. The AP Lit teacher is strict and unreasonably crabby but sent him a glowing note that she was really, really proud of him. Working on that grit. :muscle:

12 Likes

@srparent15 - which school is this that you mentioned taking 30+ kids from NJ. I am in NJ too and my S17 is waiting for some OOS WL while he is in honors academy at Rutgers. The WLs are moving super slow so far.

:clap: :clap:

Could also be the lens material. Hi index lenses are thinner than polycarbonate. Polycarbonate is cheaper and some insurances require it for kids younger than 18 years old.

Could we please not describe women like this? Thank you.

2 Likes

My glasses always need to have multiple adjustments made before I can comfortably wear them. You know, where the optical shop staff heat the frames and bend them. How would one get that done with mail ordered glasses?

Somewhere along this journey I read about roommate selection, and hopefully this will help someone on here. Colleges are very focused on this because it’s a big driver of overall happiness, grades, graduation, etc. They do a ton of exit surveys and have a good idea of what works.

A roommate from their HS or town is the worst. So bad that schools know they should ban it, but they can’t. The bond and expectations are too strong, so the relationship blows up when one rushes or one doesn’t or one likes to party.

Next worst is finding a roommate on social media. This one is obvious. Social media personas are not reality, and your roommate sees you in your real life.

Second best is completely random. Schools generally do a little matching here for sleep patterns or something similar. This group benefits from the expectation that they need to be friendly and get along, but not besties.

The best is when the school does a deep dive into each kid and matches them. This is only really a thing at private schools.

The good news is schools have realized that LLCs and clubs are a great solution. It gives students a way to be surrounded with similar students and then buddy up with the ones they really click with.

Anyway, the TLDR is get your kid active on campus and everything will be fine. :slight_smile:

8 Likes

My son is going to Notre Dame and they only do random matching. I was hoping for at least sleep styles because my son has Type 1 Diabetes and wears an insulin pump and continuous glucose monitoring system that beeps a lot. We are praying for a deep sleeper roommate!!!

2 Likes

See the whole LLC bothers me because if you aren’t in one I think they just throw you to the wolves. This was something I brought up to the AO and she agreed that the school overemphasizes these to the point where students don’t come because they don’t feel they’ll have a good experience.

I think personally LLCs are to the detriment of diversity if I’m being honest. Surrounding yourself with only kids like you doesn’t build a community.

2 Likes