Absolutely, this class of 22 has spent more time with family than any other group of teenagers in generations. It will be an adjustment for all of you. D21 just went back for S2 a week ago and it feels like it has been a full month!
That is great they have some East coast folks ready to host if they land in that general direction.
With cell phone video apps, while you will not be physcially together, youâll be amazed at the amount of time you can have together.
My daughter seems to facetime my spouse or me - walking from her dorm to a club meeting or at night from the library or in the middle of the day - just because.
So that will help minimize the separation.
Vastly different than when many of us went to college - and you actually paid by the minute to call home!!
Also back in the day, kids like me did not miss their parents one little bit!
Sorry to say it, but this is something Iâve confirmed as a generational difference that is quite common. Of course itâs a huge generalization. Combination of parents not knowing how to be a close friend of their kids, which is more common these days, and also probably due to the fact that we were basically let out of the doggy door to roam wild till supper time from a young age, which is less common today.
We are still waiting patiently on mid-year transcripts. Grades closed in mid-December!! S improved a lot so we really need those sent out asap.
Iâm also adding up the indirect costs at this point. The 10 hour drive, hotel, (and activity to make the most of time spent) vs. the 3 hour drive and dinner. Of course, the farthest away is also the cheapest. Also factoring whether or not she will need a car. At least one school on Dâs list will require one, but the supply shortage and price increase is scaring me away. A news report I saw this morning said a previously $10,000 - $15,000 used car was up to $25,000. Iâd like to wait it out until the auto market stabilizes.
Iâve had a few pangs of doubt over the last few weeks. Sheâs done well in her auditions/interviews to the point Iâm wondering if I limited her too much. Itâs hard to watch kids on social media audition for the top programs and wonder if she would have had a shot. We stuck with the non-Chicago midwestern schools to keep cost down, especially the indirect costs. Damn, sometimes I hate being practical!
Iâm full of second guesses too. Actually theyâre not totally guesses. I can now, near the end, see what was the best plan for us but I can only see it now. That includes several things, but one of them is reaching more.
@UCDProf your comment about health insurance prompted me to add this note. Itâs worth it to all parents of incoming first year students, to double check current insurance coverage vs. school requirements to opt out of school provided plans. With S18 we discovered that the fantastic family coverage we had would drop to emergency coverage only for him when he left the state (fine if youâre traveling but not if youâre living somewhere for most of the year).
If Iâd been able to move to a PPO plan vs. an HMO plan that would have solved it, but that option wasnât available through my smaller employer. And with S18 heading several states away, we were forced to opt into the school plan for him as they required a basic level of coverage we couldnât prove in that state.
The good news is that a change in job and change in insurance brought him back into the fold and had S21 covered too but the initial surprise and cost was one we werenât expecting back in the day.
Insurance through colleges is expensive!
Donât I know it! I was thrilled when we could cancel that plan and bring him back onto mine.
Basic point of my postâdonât assume just because your child is currently covered by your insurance that it will work at and for their chosen school. We were taken by surprise with this additional cost. I donât wish it on anyone.
Yes, one kidâs college-plan insurance cost was 2k a year and another was 4k. We were able to opt out of both but it was a much higher cost than I was expecting. The 4k school has very generous financial aid though and covers the cost for kids on need-based aid if their parentsâ coverage isnât sufficient.
Also, it is important to note that many schools also have campus-based health clinic fees that cannot be waived regardless of insurance coverage and for us they run about $500 - $800 per year per kid.
Schools that meet full need will probably be able to give extra to cover insurance, if needed. $2000-4000 sounds like what Iâve seen! Luckily we have a national plan, but things can change.
Also in regards to being able to use personal health insurance vs. the schoolâs insurance - please take some time to see how easy it will be to use your personal insurance where your child goes to school.
It might be very worthwhile to set up a ânew patientâ visit (asap for on campus arrival) once your child decides on a school to make sure they will have access to a physician, and to see how long it takes to get in with an appointment.
D20 has some friends who have found it quite difficult to find doctors who take their insurance, so they âhave insuranceâ but canât use it very easily. They also found months long waits to get into see a physician that did take their insurance.
One thing that might reduce far-away college costs once the first year is over:
If your kid moves into an apartment, you will most likely have a place to stay when you come to visit.
We went from spending $$ on a hotel two or three times a year to spending only gas $$ to drive there and back, as D19 happily gives up her bedroom and sleeps on the couch when we visit. (She knows thereâs a shopping spree at Kroger in it for her, so itâs a win-win for her - togetherness and food for the month.)
The additional car factor weighs heavily on our family. One of his schools specifically forbids freshmen from having a car on campus. âDriving to see GFâ is not on the exceptions list.
1st semester grades supposedly were sent out today. So now we wait some more.
I swear to god I did not call my parents until October- my husband too weâve been chuckling about how often our friendâs kids call home (too much would be my guess) and say what terrible kids we were but I honestly think that is how it was back then. Also, nobody came home from school, but I knew plenty who flunked out and managed to keep it from their parents and stay at school and try to get back in.
Additionally, make sure to investigate medical
Power of attorneys and having one in place. There are horror stories about parents not being given information or not being allowed to make medical decisions when their child was incapacitated because 18 years old or older. Donât want to be battling a hospital in court during a time of crisis. Easy to do forms online and you donât need an attorney.
One thing to consider for single parents is that you might be able to drop down to an individual plan from a family plan. As expensive as college insurance is I will overall save $800-1000 a year depending on final cost. Only works if you donât have a spouse or additional kids at home though of course. And kid going to college is a qualifying event, I checked.
Just curious if people are starting to plan admitted student visits and how many you plan to go to? We have 3 planned for one weekend, I think it will be a long couple of days but they are all a plane ride away and only an hour or so from each other. The dates happen to line up perfectly so we figure why not. Son has 9 acceptances and seems to have no rankings of them at all. Hoping heâll fall in love with one of these 3 schools when we visit. He plays a spring sport which starts in mid-March so I feel like the clock is ticking for visits. His reach school doesnât come out till February 15th, so I think he is waiting for that before he seriously starts thinking about the others. 95% sure itâs going to be a no so I wish he could start moving on now.
Itâs a lot - and youâll all be tired out - but if theyâre just half days, etc. and itâs your only chance to make it happen - itâs great to do it. Nothing beats being on campus!!
Just remember to stay hydrated and food filled - because if you break down at the end, you may unfairly not love the last school, etc. And itâs easy to get low blood sugar, etc.
Good luck.
That is a lot! Makes sense if they all line up and you can just do one plane ride though. We are doing one in March and one in April (just found out date and now needing to modify spring break plans we made just a few days ago 
). We are also going to see 2 schools over a school break in Feb- we wonât know if sheâs in but wanted to take advantage of the break. Covid limited our travel last year so we are catching up on visits now (Fall trips didnât work with her Fall sport). All involve plane rides.