I think we’re going to need a bigger boat – please leave room for me!
Our school system switched to rolling gradebook this year, so the grade a student has at the start of 4th quarter is pretty much what a student will get for the year. He’ll have Bs pretty much across the board, except he is opting for P/F for AP Physics where he’s scoring a D. -sigh-
My most recent concern is if he gets into a college, will he be able to stay there because he doesn’t hand in assignments.
This is my concern exactly — especially because she has been talking all year about going to the UK for college. We did a lot of research about that in the fall, but that has kind of stopped. And now, while I’m still open to the idea, I would be completely happy if she decided to stay stateside and just do a semester abroad. I just don’t feel like she is stepping up and showing us how she can be responsible and capable and self-disciplined. I know she COULD be those things, but I am not seeing a demonstration of it currently. Right now I’m seeing a demonstration of falling behind and lack of motivation and focus and a pretty severe case of early onset senioritis. So frustrating.
Feeling your pain and jumping in the boat, too. This is so hard. I know many kids who are really struggling with their mental health right now. If we can get along and she can stay sane it feels like an accomplishment. My D went back to hybrid school after a year away and promptly failed 2 in class tests. Why? You ask. Because she couldn’t look at her notes during the tests. Also known as cheating. I wonder what she is actually learning this year.
Well it’s comforting to know there are others sharing the boat, we can bail it out together! My latest worry wrt this year is the whole teacher recommendations thing. I think a couple of her schools require one teacher rec along with counselor. But I’m not convinced that any of her virtual teachers from this year really know her well enough to write one and her performance in all classes is so inconsistent that I’m not sure what kind of rec they could write based on what she’s been doing. 🤦 Maybe we go back to a sophomore year teacher? I’m just not sure
At the same time, I’m really working on my zen about this whole process. We’ve got a pretty good list of schools for her that should all be safe/match range, and it’ll all be fine. So yeah, complex competing thoughts going on here!
I hear ya @1822mom . I am trying to find my zen and remind myself that there is a college for everyone. I think my dd22 is having a bad case of spring fever . This whole year has been the covid dumpster fire and she just does not want to think about school anymore. I need to get her through the end of the year and then maybe we can approach college in a less stressed atmosphere. She just really is not into the high stakes tension and suspense of “will I get into my dream school” and “I only scored 1560 on my SAT, should I take it again?”. She just wants some chill and not “if you don’t bring up your GPA RIGHT NOW, you won’t get into the BEST college and then your WHOLE LIFE WILL BE RUINED.” So I think she is trying to avoid that by just avoiding doing her homework, which ultimately is not a very good strategy.
So, I’m trying to breathe and not get caught up in the madness. Ommmmm
Anyone have a preliminary (or final) list of colleges yet that your student is going to apply to? We have a few possibilities but I really need some more ideas and my S doesn’t seem very interested in discussing it. So far we possibly have:
Univ of Dayton
Univ of Tampa
Rollins
Elon
Univ of Denver
Maybe Univ of St Louis, Hobart & William Smith, Miami OH, Xavier, Bucknell (reach), Providence.
Hi, you have some of the same colleges that I (lol) have put on my son’s list. How about Ohio University, VA Tech, and NC State? My son really has no interest either.
My S does not want to talk about schools, either. We are flying up to Lawrence (WI) in June so he’s going to have to face it at some point.
He is taking the SAT on Saturday, he missed the in-school test because he was in quarantine, ugh. I doubt he will submit his scores anywhere since most of his schools are test optional and he hasn’t done much prep. I just figured if he changes course or doesn’t get in to any of his test optional choices, it would be best to have some scores ready.
It’s good to know my D22 isn’t the only one who doesn’t want to talk about colleges. She did agree to go to an open house for prospective nursing majors at a local college last week, mostly because her best friend is planning to go there. She really liked it and now thinks she’s done. Uh, no - not for an average student who doesn’t test well and wants to major in nursing. I certainly hope she’ll be more receptive to college talk and visits this summer.
We had a hard time getting D19 to engage with the process at the beginning, which was a bit of a surprise because she was always super communicative and open and a really good student - I expected her to be excited for it all. Wrong. I think it felt really overwhelming. One thing that helped was a long weekend to visit a shmorgishborg of schools, and we emphasized that this is the stage that schools are trying to get you to apply. They’re trying to give you the pitch, woo you, get you excited about them. They want to impress you! I think that took some of the pressure off at the beginning. And sometimes it helps just to get started and try to think of the process as a series of smaller steps, because the whole can feel too intimidating.
Going through this process with S22 has been much smoother, because his sister paved the way and landed in a great spot for her. But while he’s been much more willing to engage in this process, last week- our first trip to visit schools- we could see the pressure setting in. And we reminded him of the same thing - in this stage, THEY want YOU! Enjoy it! Now’s the time to listen to their pitch of why they want you to consider them. And he relaxed and totally opened up about what he liked and didn’t like and started figuring out (or at least voicing it) what a fit for him looks like. (But hopefully not too relaxed as he has the SATs this Saturday!)
@packacards I will have to try that approach with S22. D20 was the exact same way with not wanting to talk about or visit colleges. I became so frustrated with her I handed her a curated spreadsheet of schools and told her to pick JUST ONE to visit. She picked one, we flew out, she liked it, she applied ED, got in, and the rest is history. I wonder if they just become frozen with indecision and fear and are unable to communicate how they are feeling? It is a challenging time, that is for sure.
I am definitely getting pushback on asking about colleges so I decided to just leave it until this school year is done in a month and then we can revisit.
Another kid who prefers to avoid the college topic here as well. I am on the same path as you @Sweetgum just not even going there with her until after school is out. She has enough to worry about with finishing the year! But we do have a list, put together pretty much entirely by me with some input from her when the mood strikes. I’ve even gotten her to attend some virtual visits and virtual “Junior” events last month. So I think we’re in a good place and the plan is for her to work on her essay over the summer, and we’ll do weekend visits in the fall.
My nephew is in the same class, and my sister reports he doesn’t want to talk about it either! I think @murray93 hit the nail on the head, at least for my kids, it’s always been a fear thing. Fear of the unknown, the future, making the wrong decision, all of it. It’s the first really big decision they have to make in their lives and it’s scary. They’d rather look away and avoid it. Hoping probably that it will just disappear.
My S is just trying to survive the last month of school (he’s virtual) and get his grades up. The virtual instruction during the pandemic has decimated his GPA.
He takes his second attempt at the SAT next month and the first (only?) attempt at the ACT in July.
This is the last week of in person school for DD22. Testing starts next week and they will be doing “remote instruction” for everybody unless they are testing. I can’t imagine that they will be doing too much actual instruction for the remote instruction. They have been alternating one week in person, and one week remote for the last quarter in two cohorts. The remote weeks have been pretty slack from what I can see, or maybe that is just dd22’s attitude. She has come down with both a bad case of spring fever and a bad case of early-onset senioritis at once. She is shutting down if I mention school and getting those grades up and any missing work in too. Oh well, you do what you can do, and the rest is up to them, right?
S did a live virtual tour of Bard. He really didn’t want to do it, especially after he found out he had to talk one on one with an admissions counselor (out of his comfort zone). I also wasn’t sure how he’d react to the remote and quirky aspects of the school. He absolutely loved it, and loved the “tour.” He was the only student and had two tour guides walking him around this glorious campus. For anyone considering this school, I recommend the experience.
The school year is almost done. S will be down to the wire on his grades. He says he’s going to pull off B’s in the two classes he’s currently failing. I really hope he’s right.
How do I know if this kid is ready for college? He won’t stay on top of his work in classes he doesn’t like. This doesn’t seem like an attitude that’s going to allow him to succeed in college. I am terrified of letting him go off to an expensive private school and then having him fail out. But I’m also afraid that going to a large university with large classrooms and no accountability is going to set him up for failure. He says he won’t consider a year or two at community college or taking an extra post-grad year of boarding school. (Both would allow him to mature and repair his GPA a bit.) He won’t look at a gap year, either. He wants to go to college, but isn’t acting like he can handle it. Any thoughts? Or anyone in the same situation?
My S has ADHD with anxiety, so if I say anything about grades, I’m quickly chastised and the ADHD and/or anxiety card is played.
I am so done with this school year (the last day of virtual school is June 10) and figure we’ll see how this all plays out. Not getting acceptances at his favorite schools on his list may simply force the community college issue.
I’m actually more afraid of him getting in and continuing this behavior. But yes, not getting in anywhere and then going to CC would definitely be a natural consequence for him.
I’m so sorry you are going through this as well. My S doesn’t have ADHD or anxiety and he’s still struggling with it all.
Yep, I hear you! For us, mercifully, the school year is basically over. Last day is this Friday but gradebooks closed last Friday so this week is basically check in for attendance and that’s it. Good news is she managed to wrangle her quarter grades up (She pulled off Bs in 3 classes she was failing earlier this month so it’s possible!), so her semester grades will not look as dreary as I feared and her gpa, while still on the decline, won’t take a huge plunge. Just glad it’s finally over.
@murray93 did you look at Cornell College in Iowa? They have a very unique academic calendar. One course at a time, so you work intensively for 18 class days one just one class, then get 4 days off and do it again. So if you aren’t really into the subject, at least it’s over soon and there aren’t other classes to distract you. Only one other school in the country has this model (Colorado College). My D is very intrigued by this idea so it’s on our radar. I feel like it could either be perfect or a disaster.
As far as my D, I’m not really sure what her issue is, definitely anxiety and she’s being evaluated for other issues so ADHD may be a factor for her as well. Mostly, from my perspective it’s just been that virtual and her do not mix at all.
My latest worry wrt this year is the whole teacher recommendations thing. I think a couple of her schools require one teacher rec along with counselor. But I’m not convinced that any of her virtual teachers from this year really know her well enough to write one and her performance in all classes is so inconsistent that I’m not sure what kind of rec they could write based on what she’s been doing. 🤦 Maybe we go back to a sophomore year teacher? I’m just not sure 
