First substantial batch of college mail arrived yesterday for S22. A few had come earlier but this was 6 different school mailings in one day. I guess his PSAT scores (decent but not great) have been purchased for college marketing. I saved them for him to review if he wants but he has no interest at the moment. HS soccer playoffs and a school play are capturing all his current attention.
@vistajay Us too. We got 8 pieces of mail yesterday. One for S21 (Marine recruitment), one for us, and 6 for S22. Been getting tons of emails, but almost entirely from NE schools, and he wants to go to warm weather, so mostly useless.
D22 says she is getting a number of e mails. It reminded me that she should make an e mail just for the college app season so she doesnāt get deluged in her main box.
In the meantime, D22 is recovering from another concussion. She is the most injury and illness prone kid I know, in a way that I canāt explain. No rhyme or reason for the things that happen to her. I do worry a bit about the potential effect on her classes.
Looking for advice.
S22 came home from school Friday and had a mini meltdown after two poor test results. He says he is feeling a lot of anxiety over school and what his test results mean for college acceptances. I keep telling him that he will end up at the college that is best for him and as long as he is putting effort into school, Iām good. He also took his placement test for AP Lang next year and was worried he wouldnāt get recommended for it. I said, so what, if you donāt, itās still fine.
His friend group is also high achieving, and I think they can get competitive. Iām so worried about him and his mental well being. He says he gets upset if he does poorly, and it doesnāt make him happy when he does well (I donāt think thatās true though). Itās so difficult to parent. Any advice?
@GoodGrief16 , sorry about the concussion! Hope she heals quickly.
@Lovetogolf , one of my kids can get like that. We find it helps him to stay on a schedule so he feels in control. Another thing that has helped him tremendously is a creative outlet to pour his stress into. He picked up piano a couple of years ago. It is just for him and while he wants to improve he has no worries about how competitive he is compared to kids his age playing since they could walk. It is essential for him to have a stress reliever, and piano fills that role for him. But it could just as easily be a new sport, a game, or a fun hobby.
We noticed this over the last few days too - I guess the PSAT lists have now reached all of the marketing groups. D22 was amused to get mail from West Point today. I asked her yesterday if she wanted me to save or toss them when I get the mail, as sheās already done quite a bit of research, and was surprised when she said she wanted to see them.
She had a panic attack when she got an 88 on a writing assignment in English, bringing her grade down to a 98, her lowest. Iām concerned how sheāll manage when something actually is hard for her. Our school isnāt very good at challenging high talent kids (wouldnāt let her go directly to Calc BC, though she hasnāt missed a test/quiz/HW problem in math since 8th grade and was an AIME qualifier last year). Sheās looking at MIT, Stanford, etc. - could be a rude awakening if she makes it. She gets homework done by 4 and it glued to YouTube/video games after. D17 had to work hard in HS and I think that prepared her well for Purdue engineering.
Sorry about the concussion! I hope recovery goes fast.
We have not gotten much college mail here. Maybe 2 so far? But he wasnāt able to do the fall PSAT either.
Scheduling for next year is starting next week, overall. My 8th grader has the high school counselors coming to talk to them next week. Then theyāll move through the grades at the high school. Neither will have a lot of choices available, but they are both looking forward to seeing their options for next year.
Any one with a HS 2022 kid who is going to be applying to Musical Theatre colleges? My D is at a magnet arts HS for acting and does a lot of MT and community theatre. Would love to connect with other parents who are about to embark on the crazy application process in the next year or so!
@Rue4 If you want to stay in state in VA, what about George Mason, James Madison, Mary Washington, or Radford?
I did my M.Ed at Mason, not sure thatās the right vibe for DD. We will look at JMU and MW for sure. Personal hang up re Radford. I think sheāll look at Christopher Newport, and Maybe Lynchburg. We will have a decently low EFC, but DD22 wonāt be competitive at meets needs schools like her '21 sister, so that really wonāt matter. With two in school for 3 years, budget will be critical- so Iām running the NPC for every school and thinking seriously about the 2 year CC route because VA has direct admit agreements.
Havenāt been on in a bit, but we have a snow day (yay!) so checking in.
My d22 is chugging away this year. Doing very well overall. Good grades, but possibly more importantly starting to learn some lessons about teachers. Sheās getting much better at separating personality from teaching ability and seeing who is actually good at teaching and who isnāt. Still working hard no matter what, but starting to get that in some classes she just needs to put out her best, reasonable, effort and then the rest is out of her hands. The way our English and Social Studies tend to be graded is very subjective and inconsistent. Getting too upset about it just becomes a waste of time and energy.
For some of those dealing with a high stats perfectionist, there is some hope! My d19 was like that. We had tears pretty regularly in high school (almost daily). She expected to always be at the top, her friend group could be very competitive but weirdly not anxious, she struggled with anxiety over tests and grades and felt like she was the only one. She decided to go to Cornell for engineering and while I supported her, I was worried. Cornell is known for being high pressure, especially in engineering. But I decided to reframe my worries and put hope in a different theory. I thought it was possible that by going to a school where everyone worried about grades, maybe she would feel like she fit in. So even if sheās worried, she would feel normal. We are just now in the beginning of second semester, and that is proving to be true. All of her friends worry about grades. They are all trying to do well. They donāt brag about grades (although that may not be true of everyone at her school, itās definitely something she wants from friends). We also knew she was going there since January last year, since she was ED, so we spent months reminding her that itās not the school to go to if itās important for you to be at the top of your class. Itās very different from high school. At college, being in the middle for grades is something to be happy about and if your lower than that, as long as you are passing, no worries. So far thatās worked. Very good but not perfect grades, and she landed a paid research position as a second semester freshman. Sheās happy and mostly feels good about tests and grades. Itās not that anxiety completely went away. She has moments still. But they pass fairly quickly, and they arenāt daily. More like once a month or so. She is getting better at taking a moment to recenter herself and think about it all logically. Itās all vastly different than high school.
S22ās high school soccer season has ended, just as the team starts the playoffs. He broke his foot in a game, and has to wear a boot for at least a month. Heās pretty frustrated not being able to play, but otherwise has accepted it and is still working out to stay in shape while not putting pressure on the foot. His theatre director, piano teacher and voice instructor all feigned sympathy for about five seconds before exulting in his extra time to pursue those endeavors, lol.
S22 has left his outside-of-school orchestra. The orchestra was not a good mesh for S22 so we āgave him an outā. Hopefully this will also help with his grades and 2nd quarter was absolutely not good.
He is meeting with his counselor today for Junior year course selection. I think he has some good questions to ask his counselor as we walked through possible course options last weekend. It is starting to get real. ?
We did a tour of our nearby university (George Mason) which has his major and would allow him to play in outside orchestras. This seems to be moving up the college list, but thereās a long time to go yet.
Iām kind of in the opposite situation with my D-22. She also wants to stay in the South, but rural and small is okay with her, but it needs to have something fun and funky. Sheās very artsy and I think VCU might be her vibe, but not sure on our finances for it. Pretty sure my D would not be into Va Tech.
If you want to check out some NC schools, maybe App State? Or if you want a real bargain check out Western Carolina (probably too rural for her, but it has 11000 students, so not a tiny school). They offer very low tuition. Could also check out UNC-Charlotte or UNC-Greensboro, but that OOS tuition might not be great, but NC is not nearly as bad for OOS as some states. Sometimes OOS at a NC school is comparable to in-state in another state. East Carolina might be worth a look too. Not my Dās vibe, but might be yours. App State and ECU are football schools with great school spirit for athletics if thatās what she is after. UNC-G is a little more like VCU (pretty artsy), UNC-C is pretty up and coming for the UNC system. Itās grown a LOT over the last 10 yrs. Definitely not small or rural. Not sure how the āschool spiritā is (not a UNC-Chapel Hill or Duke or NC State situation), but it seems to be very popular now.
My S22 is a good and conscientious student but not anywhere near the high-achieving ranks. His most recent report card had two Bās, two A-'s, a B+ and an A. Went down in math and science, up in French and history, stayed the same in English (one of the Bās) and an elective called Engineering by Design (the A). Would like to see him move everything up that can move up, but heās not stressed about it and neither are we.
I wish he was more interested in college prospects, and more directed. He had expressed some interest in architecture, so a few weeks ago I started researching the best schools for that and exploring the difference between the five- and six-year programs. College plans came up over the weekend, and he treated architecture like an interest Iād come up with. I think he shies away from anything that seems too arduous and competitive, even though he manages well in such situations once heās in them. I think heād like to be an architect if he could do it without having to start demonstrating interest and meeting with our architect friends and researching schools and keeping certain grades up and so on.
The most heāll say about his college desires now is that he wants to go somewhere warm, but not Florida and not California. Iām sure heāll ramp up his interest next school year, but heās definitely not one of these CC kids beating himself up over Bās and putting up āchance meā posts!
I posted this in the students high school 2022 forum too, will be interesting if anyone of them have heard about.
Anyone on here following the new Texas High School legislation requirements of submitting FAFSA to be able to graduate starting with the class of 2022?
How are they going to track this, will the high school have access to your private financial documents? How will you be able to opt out? How are they going to get undocumented kids/parents to file since FAFSA asks about citizenship, what good would it be for them since they donāt qualify for PELL or subsidized student loans?What about kids that donāt plan to go to college?
I think this is going to be a real mess and just canāt see how overworked GCs are going to manage it.
@Sweetgum ā since you are a font of knowledge about NC schools 
ā any chance you know about Guilford? All I know is it is a CTCL school and has a cybersecurity major.
@3scoutsmom Wow, Iād be really frustrated over that requirement. FAFSA is a lot to fill outā¦my S21 is not going to college (enlisting in the military is his current plan), and we are not planning on doing it for S22 either since we know we wonāt qualify for need based aid. Heās looking entirely for merit.
Ugh ā you already answered my question on the other thread! Nevermind . . . 
@OrangeFish did I? Oh good! Feel free to ask me anything else.
We did do a tour of Guilford 2 yrs ago with a friend who is gung-ho for Guilford and my older kid who is taking a gap year or three and not really college-motivated right now. (Hoping that will change, but trying not to push.)
I liked Guilford and would be super happy if my 19yr old would go there with their friend (the friend is 17 just about to turn 18 and is in between my two kids in age and friends with both). Guilford is small and seems very nurturing and not overly competitive ā I mean that in a vibe way. It seems like the kind of place where they want everyone to do well and itās not a competition to see whoās at the top of the class. My older kid has a lot of struggles with anxiety so it seems like the kind of place that could be supportive.
I feel like it might be a little small for my DD22, and it does not have a street full of cool coffee shops and stuff nearby (thatās Tate Street near UNC-G) but she is interested in going back to see Guilford again. Their friend has been back and she really loves it. My DD22 was in 8th grade when we went before so not really as focused as she is now. We just did the basic tour and didnāt get into any departmental stuff.
We have an older niece (I think sheās 30 now) who went to Guilford and she recommends it. Still has good feelings about it and met her spouse there.
I think itās a good place.