I think you should start your own thread so that more people will see it. And make sure to tag the schools too, so people who are familiar with them will read the post. I don’t have any advice for you unfortunately; can only offer that my S20 has a good friend, African-American, at Yale, and he’s not feeling like it’s a good fit. Last I heard he was going to try to transfer to Columbia.
10 Likes
My D committed today, finally! Her choice is DePaul. This was her first or second acceptance, way back in the fall, and every other acceptance that came in had to beat DePaul. They all failed! Looking forward to many trips to Chicago!
16 applications:
Accepted:
DePaul
Willamette
UVM
Gonzaga
SDSU
Saint Louis University
Simmons
Sonoma State
Chico State
(all acceptances came with merit aid, except for Chico)
Waitlisted:
Northeastern
Skidmore
UC Davis
UC Santa Cruz
Cal Poly SLO
Denied:
UCSB
Occidental
34 Likes
Congratulations! Any thoughts on how she received such amazing merit from USC? I have heard they usually give very little. Wonderful news!
1 Like
Congrats!! I have been wondering where she would land — so many awesome choices. I am sure we will all be hearing about her wonderful accomplishments a few years hence.
It is okay to talk to her about the California option at this point. She has received fabulous opportunities, but they will not cover everything. There are financial realities of heading across the country. I know you do not want to influence her decision, but costs add up with flights, shipping, storage, visits, emergencies, and not really emergencies, but life events and unexpected bumps in the road.
Being able to drive (your car or rent a car) and get her to one of the three that are within a reasonable distance for your family is a huge price difference. Being able to just pop home if a break is needed after 6 weeks or you being able to be there without dealing with airlines is huge -especially after the last couple years.
If her experience at Harvard was not great assure her that is ok and then she can think through the final two.
13 Likes
You are always so kind! I’m sure the same is true with your D. So happy they were able to find their places.
It wasn’t merit — it was financial aid.
2 Likes
Thanks. I feel bad trying to influence her. But I think it would be so much better if I could get to her quickly if something goes wrong or just to visit. Plus, it would be easy for her to get home for thanksgiving or even a weekend if she is in Philadelphia or Massachusetts.
But I don’t want to hold her back and California is kind of an adventure though, I guess. It is just that I think she would only be able to come home to see me and her brother and sisters once or twice each year if she goes to Pomona.
5 Likes
California will be there. She can get a summer internship or research opportunity that will help pay. She can go for grad school or work, but the reality is it will be a huge struggle for your family to make that option work. Just you going to move her in and her graduation 4 years later would be thousands of dollars not included in the costs.
It is great she dreamed big. She certainly realized those dreams on many levels. And she will probably say no to Harvard based on what you have shared - so she is brave. She will live to tell the tale. (My D21 turned down an Ivy last year when it was not the right fit - they know when it is not right for them in the end .) You have done a great job supporting her to this point. It is ok to help her. And it is ok to talk about the realities and finances.
18 Likes
It might be wise to look into Pomona’s holiday policy - we were very surprised when at our daughter’s LAC the school closed for Thanksgiving week and all kids had to leave with the exception of international students. So our daughter flew across county in Nov and again 3 weeks later for Winter break and again in March when the campus closed for Spring break vs our other daughter’s school allowed all students to stay Thanksgiving and Spring break with reduced food service only.
I would budget $2000 for those yearly Calif flights and airport transport and that s a big increase x 4 years.
Congrats to you and your daughter - College acceptances aside winning The Gates scholarship is quite the feat.
7 Likes
I don’t like the idea of her picking Pomona without visiting — and the travel costs are not insignificant.
To me, based on what you wrote, it comes down to Amherst or Harvard. Before making her final decision in favor of Amherst, has she had any contact with organizations at Harvard for Black students or people of color? Or any other interest groups or clubs that appeal to her? It may be that she can find a group at Harvard that makes it feel like a smaller school.
My daughter had both experiences: some schools had a culture that made her feel like you’d have to fight to not get lost and others had many ways to tap into a welcoming group despite a large student body.
If your daughter is pretty sure that Harvard would be challenging to navigate and she can’t find that welcoming “home” there, then I am inclined to think she should trust her instincts and go to Amherst (assuming you can handle it financially).
Best wishes and congrats on some great options!
9 Likes
I think it is foolish to give up on any school based off of one tour or one admitted student event. Has she attended any virtual events or meetings?
California is a very large and diverse state. When you refer to Pomona College as “California” I think you are probably projecting more onto the school than it is.
1 Like
Where did he choose? Congratulations 
1 Like
I am right there with you as far as doing the balancing act between being supportive and influencing! It’s so tough!
My 2¢ is that it’s never foolish to turn down a situation that isn’t the best fit (if you can financially afford to). I am a super fan of LACs, so my personal opinion is that she has the opportunity to go to a fantastic LAC which could provide the college experience that you said she initially was looking for.
For me the points against Harvard are: 1. it wasn’t what she was looking for but was added incase the others didn’t offer enough FA; 2. I’m a believer that things happen for a reason, and if she wasn’t getting good vibes from her visit, she should listen to that; 3. it won’t offer the LAC experience and you only get these special 4 years once - maybe she can go to Harvard for grad school.
I agree with others, I’m not sure about going to a school without visiting. And as one living in CA with a kid going to college in the Eastern Time Zone - those flights are expensive and loooooonnnggg. Also, Covid isn’t out of our lives. SoCal can be very restrictive (and oddly inconstant) and it could throw a wrench in things.
Ultimately it sounds like she has amazing choices! You must be super proud! Good luck!
12 Likes
Thank you everyone for your feedback and advice! I think her teachers all expect that she is going to choose Harvard so it is helpful to hear that it really is OK to go with a smaller college if that feels right to her.
17 Likes
She will find students at Pomona, Swarthmore, and Amherst who have turned down HYPS, and those who weren’t but are equally as smart, interesting, talented, etc. It sounds like she should narrow it down to Amherst and Swarthmore given that she hasn’t visited Pomona and the distance is a serious consideration. If she hasn’t spoken with BIPOC students, I would make that a top priority. Best of luck with the decision.
4 Likes
Here is another perspective that may help your daughter. She will likely be headed to a large university for graduate or professional school some day. Kids with her credentials rarely stop their education with a BA/BS. So she will have an opportunity to experience a Harvard or like school in the near future. She will never again have the opportunity to study at a LAC and forge those close community and faculty relationships. Just some food for thought…
16 Likes
I’d eliminate CA since she has other equal/better options closer to home. I’d go to Harvard personally. Until I started looking at colleges for my son, I never heard of Amherst or Pomona. I’m an exec in the tech industry so maybe that is why, but none of those have the name recognition across fields that Harvard does. Also I think I read Harvard now has around 20% AA- that is probably the highest of all the ones she is looking at. Finally, it’s the cheapest. You are down to the wire now and probably no more time for visits but I wouldn’t rule out the opportunities Harvard would provide due to one off-putting visit. Good luck!
6 Likes
She really can’t go wrong based on her options! Congrats to her and to you on her great acceptances. I don’t think there is a right answer, but I’ll offer a couple of thoughts, some of which make the assumption that your daughter is African American based on your post above –
-
I went to Harvard (900 years ago ;)) and though all “elite” colleges have a long and pretty terrible history on that front, my sense is that it’s so much better for Black students than it was even when I went there. A lot of my Black classmates have their own kids there now, which says something, and I have friends and classmates who teach there in areas like African American studies, and there’s good stuff happening. My friend’s son and some classmates are about to launch the first major Black-run / focused publication called Indigo, described as such: “INDIGO will provide a home for Black art and activism on Harvard’s campus and beyond, publishing the best essays, fiction, poetry, comedy, fashion pieces, interviews, and original art that is submitted each semester.” I would hope she would feel supported at Harvard. Of the Ivies I visited way back in the day, I chose to attend Harvard in part because it felt less elitist than some of the other schools, but obviously that was a long time ago.
-
LACs are so different, and there’s so much to love about them! My best friend’s son is headed to Amherst this fall and couldn’t be more excited. Another very close friend has a daughter about to graduate from Swarthmore, and she had a fantastic experience. She’s a very involved activist/artsy kid who found her people there in spite of Swarthmore’s rep for being very intense academically (though I think that was true too).
-
I live in CA and have had the opportunity to see the Claremont Colleges, and Pomona is just absolutely wonderful. The campus is spectacular, the weather is fabulous – and the 5 C colleges have a little bit of a bigger feel because they all interact with one another. She will know and become close to professors there. Of course she won’t have nearly as many classmates of color by the numbers as if she went to Harvard, but that doesn’t by definition mean the campus is less welcoming. It’s just a different kind of experience. If she cares about proximity to the surrounding city, though, Harvard is going to be a lot more accessible to Boston than Claremont is to LA. Don’t know if that matters to her. If you are concerned about her going all the way across the country, that makes sense on a number of levels (cost, proximity to come home, etc.), but know that it’s a wonderful, wonderful place and I’m sure she will be fine if that’s where she feels she needs to be! It was important to me to go very far from home for college (I was going to the east coast from CA), and I’m so glad I had that experience.
Good luck! No wrong answers! She’ll be able to earn some money over the summers to help make up the difference, whatever she decides.
7 Likes
Amherst, hands down. The open curriculum allows for unfettered exploration, it is relatively close to home, strong advising, and she can access courses and activities at the other Pioneer Valley schools (Smith, Mount Holyoke, Hampshire, U Mass Amherst).
2 Likes